Disclaimer: "The Big Bang Theory" belongs to Warner Brothers.
Dear Mrs. Concorde,
It has come to my attention that we will be assigned to read the book "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee later in the school year. I suggest that you assign us to watch the 1962 movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" instead. I have two extremely great reasons for this.
The first reason is time. It will take 130 minutes to watch "To Kill A Mockingbird". Reading it will take much longer. The novel "To Kill A Mockingbird" has a word count of 99,121 words. The average reading speed is 250 words per minute, which means it will take us 396 minutes to read the book on average. By assigning the movie instead of the book, you will be saving 266 minutes of valuable time for each student.
The second reason is value. The movie is worth more than the book. Someone said "A picture is worth a thousand words", and that quote has never been disputed or debunked. Motion pictures are projected at 24 frames per second if they are recorded using 35mm film. That means a single second of a motion picture is worth 24,000 words. With a running time of 130 minutes, the 1962 movie version of "To Kill A Mockingbird" is worth 187,200,000 words. This means that the movie is 1,889 times more valuable than the movie. Don't get cheap on us.
I trust that my infallible arguments will bring you to your senses and inspire you to change your ways.
Yours truly,
Sheldon Cooper
If you write a review, I would appreciate it if you wrote a response to Sheldon Cooper's letter.