Disclaimer: I feel like I keep coming back full circle with these stupid disclaimers. Hi. I'm LOLChanny819. I don't own SWAC! There, happy?
Okay, so I was PMing Camilla Monet and was put in a writing mood, so if you like this little one shot you can thank her. You know, the best way to thank a person is by reviewing. And she has a lot of talent… just saying. Oh, and I redid this because it's not allowed to use real names. I found that out reading reviews for another story.
Worlds Apart
SPOV
Every time I look into a mirror, my heart breaks a little more inside. I think it's because I'm reminded that I can't have Chad, no matter how much I want to. I'm always reminded of who I am and who he is and that this life is real. It's Hollywood, the cruelest place on Earth. And I'm just a comedian.
I can't act as well as he can. I can't charm people to no end. Heck, the only reason I was called here was because I had a good web show going! No one knew that Sonny Monroe even existed until So Random! took me in. But I think we all knew that Chad Dylan Cooper existed.
See, I look into that mirror and see a girl who just got lucky. That's it. I had a stroke of luck and landed in Hollywood. It doesn't make me special. It definitely doesn't guarantee me fame. So why should I even think that Chad Dylan Cooper would want to spend time with me?
I tried not to fall for him. Trust me, I really did. But I couldn't help it. And I hate the way he charmed me. I hate the way I feel like I'm the only one on Earth when he talks to me. I hate the way his golden locks are tousled, giving off the illusion that he's perfect. Except it isn't an illusion. He really is perfect. And I especially hate the way he seduces me with his eyes, just by staring at me with that certain gleam. I hate it all.
In the mirror I can see all my hopes and dreams, and even the person I wish I could be. The blonde model that Chad would want to be with. I wish I was born like that, and I hate that feeling too. I used to think I was fine the way I was, but then I came here. And Hollywood turned me into this insecure little girl. No, Chad turned me into this insecure little girl.
I know Chad and I are in separate worlds. He's got the fame and the girls and the money, and what do I have? A rubber chicken? An annoying smile? I wish he found my smile cute, appealing, but I know he doesn't. Because we're in separate worlds. And I hate that too.
I never used to hate anything, but now the thing that I hate is myself. I want to be a plastic Barbie; the ones I used to make fun of. That was before Hollywood. So I do. I change.
I dye my hair black, get rid of the childish bangs, and start dressing frankly like a slut. It's all worth it, because the next day Blake Raddison asks me out. I can't pretend that I'm not thrilled, but I have to. Alison doesn't act like an immature baby. Alison shows no emotion. And that's who I was forced to become. Alison.
Blake and I date for a month, but eventually he breaks it off because I won't sleep with him. Nice, right? Anyway, I know then that I have to do some more adjusting. So the next time someone asks me out, I don't say no. And it's the biggest mistake of my life.
Now you know. James Conroy was my first time, and guess what? He breaks up with me right after, saying that he had just needed to get laid, and that I wasn't good enough for him. So I change even more.
I dress even sluttier, and wear more makeup. I even get a spray tan. I'm eighteen now, and I haven't even seen Chad for months. One day I'm asked out by Hayden, and I sleep with him on the first date. I mean, what's the point now? I've already lost my purity.
I wake up the next morning to see that all over the web Hayden's talking about how I "put out" for him. Ugh. Just another wannabe celebrity. I can't face Hollywood for two weeks, and Marshall's considering firing me. I don't care anymore. I'm just a comedian anyway.
It's been two months since I've last seen Chad, and I've been sleeping with a different guy every single night. But I don't care. No one calls me Sonny anymore; it's always Alison. Hey, you'll get a kick out of this. I even had a one night stand with Nico. It meant nothing.
I faintly remember being happy, and I faintly remember being pure. I haven't talked to Chad in over three months now, and it kills me. So I slowly begin to wind down.
I still sleep with guys, but I've begun to tone down my wardrobe, and my hair is its original color again. I straighten it every day, but my bangs are back. Soon I haven't slept with anyone in a month, and I'm almost normal again. I've been working harder in rehearsal, and I'm slowly going back to being Hollywood's good girl.
Finally, three months later, I'm completely back to normal. I realize that I'm nineteen now; I missed my own birthday. But when I look into the mirror, I still see that same worthless comedian who wasn't good enough for Chad. And I hate it.
One day I'm walking through the studios and I bump into someone very familiar. Chad. I haven't seen him in over six months, and I'm blown away by his beauty once again.
When he sees me his eyes light up. "Sonny," he whispers, "You're back."
I look at him, confused. Isn't a Barbie what he wants? "But….. I'm not a slut?"
He smiles genuinely. "No. And that's what I love about you. No, Sonny, I just love you in general."
I grin my Sonny smile and peck him on the lips. "I thought that was what you wanted. A slut."
He rolls his eyes. "No Sonny. All I want is you." And for once, I know that he doesn't mean it like all of those other guys did. He doesn't care if I sleep with him or not. He genuinely cares about me.
I smile and he wraps his arms around me. Now I know the truth. The only time we were really in two different worlds was when I tried to be someone I'm not. And for once, I love being who I am.
Eh, I don't really know how I feel about this one. It's kinda angry. Anyway, I hope you liked it. It's different than what I normally write, isn't it? SMILES!
LOL