A/N The idea amused me, that is all I have to add. Enjoy.
Heritage
"Look at this!" Blackadder exclaimed, throwing an old parchment down on the table. "Would you just look at this!"
Baldrick came scampering in with a blank expression on his face.
"Milord?"
Blackadder cast a disgusted look over his servant, but decided that what he had found was too fantastic to keep to himself and so grudgingly he beckoned his servant forward.
"What do you make of this Baldrick?"
The servant bent over the parchment, studied it and stood up again.
"I would make a fire my Lord."
Blackadder rolled his eyes.
"I suppose it would be too much to expect that someone born in a manure pile could read, wouldn't it Baldrick?"
"I was born in a manure pile my Lord," Baldrick supplied.
"Yes, yes, I know that," Blackadder flapped his hand airily; "let's skip your life history." He held up the parchment. "This item details where the Blackadder's came from, written by some ancient relative of Percy's who was in the original Blackadder's service, and would you believe," he sneered, "that it was from a snivelling prat of a prince who killed the king, failed to take the crown for himself and then died!" Blackadder threw the parchment down. "How embarrassing!"
"So how'd you get the name milord?" Baldrick enquired looking gormless.
"Looks like his faithful servant took the title and gave it to his own son, who turned out to be brilliantly clever and conned his way into a Lordship." Blackadder laughed. "Now that sounds like a Blackadder. The same servant had an illegitimate child with some ugly, stupid, Spanish Infanta who he had slept with under the orders of the original Blackadder. She claimed her ugly, stupid baby was the son of the Prince – although the servant knew different. So the servant took the child in as his son and named him Baldrick. Baldrick served his brother Edmund his entire life, as did their children."
"What a lovely story milord."
"Indeed Baldrick. Good to know the family blood of deceit runs strongly through my veins." Blackadder stood and rolled up the parchment. "Now to destroy it so no one knows I'm remotely related to you!"
Baldrick prepared to leave but stopped, "S'cuse me milord but might I ask the faithful servant's name?"
"What?" Blackadder screwed his face up at his smelly servant and sighed, "Oh yes, all right then." He unrolled the parchment. "Bad luck Baldrick but there is a smudge over it, can't see a thing."
"Never mind milord. Don't suppose it was anything at all."
Blackadder tossed the parchment onto the fire. "Well I think we can be fairly certain that he wasn't called Baldrick."