That scene started too well for me not to finish writing it ;). Just didn't want to make Dean seem like such a voyeur haha.


Castiel walked slowly back to his cabin where his wife waited for him. No doubt she would be angry when she discovered he had agreed to go with Dean to hunt down the devil. He wasn't sure if he was quite ready to receive her wrath, but time was wearing down. He entered their small cabin and found her sitting on the bed, reading her favorite book for what must have been the 20th time.

"Hey," she greeted, looking up at him, "What's wrong?"

She was so good at reading him, she instantly knew he came bearing bad news. Her expression started to harden the longer he kept his silence.

"I have to go somewhere tonight" he finally said with a sigh.

"Where?" she asked, her tone was growing fierce already.

"On a mission."

"What mission?"

"Dean, has the Colt and Lucifer's location. I've agreed to go along with him."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Say no! No! It's a simple word Cas! Learn how to fucking say it!"

"I. Can't. You know I can't."

"No, you can, you just choose not to. What about us huh? What happens when you go on one of that asshole's suicide missions and you don't come back? What are we supposed to do? You have a family, Cas! You can't just keep going to try and save the world with Dean. We need you!"

"I have to save the world, I'm part of the reason it's broken. I need a world where I know you and Eli will be safe. I'm willing to die for that."

"I'm not willing to lose you for that."

She had begun to cry, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. He hated when she did that. Seeing his wife cry broke his heart every time. She shouldn't ever be given a reason, but he seemed to be making it happen more and more these days. He walked towards her slowly, outstretching his arms to hold her, make her pain go away if even for a moment but she shoved his chest, hard.

"Don't do this. Not now," he pleaded with her.

"Fuck off Cas," she answered, turning her back to him.

"Is that the last thing you want to say to me? Before I walk out that door to go face Lucifer."

"Yes."

There was a slight pause before she answered and he heard that tiny hint of resistance in her voice. So stubborn, she would stand her ground no matter what hung in the balance, it was one of his favorites of her few bad traits. He took advantage of this tiny kink in her shield and walked towards her once again.

He reached her and pushed his body against hers, feeling the blood rushing to his lower abdomen already. He placed his hands over her tiny arms and gently ran them down their length. She had lost so much weight recently, her skin had lost its glow, and she always looked so sad. When she hadn't protested his touch he went further and wrapped his arms around her middle burying his face into the smooth skin of her neck. He could smell her shampoo on her hair and the soap on her skin. He felt another jolt hit his lower abdomen.

Her skin tasted so sweet as he pressed his lips to her neck over and over until he reached the end of her shoulders. Her bones were sticking out too far, as he kissed her, her hips bones jabbed sharply into his wrists. What had happened? Where had everything gone so wrong? His beautiful wife was slowly wasting away in front of his eyes and he couldn't stop it. This was why he needed to fix this world, he needed her to be healthy again, healthy and happy.

She finally gave in and leaned her head back, giving him access to her throat which he began exploring. He ran his tongue softly over the tiny scar from all those years ago in the alley, when the world was still whole. When his feelings were confused, no more then a little schoolboy crush. He would do anything to go back to that day and kiss her there in the rain, tell her how much he loved her; that he would die for her. He would start their lives earlier, so he could have time with her when they weren't in constant danger, where they could just be 2 people in love, whether he was an angel or not. He continued his trail of fleeting kisses up to her jaw, where he knew would leave her no choice but to give in completely, it was her weakness.

"I hate you," she had groaned to him with a smirk.

'Mmmm' he sounded, he had her now. His lips trailed back behind her ear, her cheek was soft against his, his beard caused her pale skin to go a little red as it scratched her.

She whipped around quickly and her lips came crashing onto his. Her mouth was hungry and searching, her tongue darted into his mouth hunting for his. His pulse was quickening and his body started to sweat, his pants were getting uncomfortably tight. He grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her with ease. Her legs wrapped around his middle tightly, her arms around his neck and he pushed her up against the nearest wall. He pushed his pelvis into hers, feeling its warmth; he wanted to bury himself deep inside her. But he knew she would make him wait.

Her hips grinded against his teasingly and he groaned into her open mouth, he was growing very impatient. He felt her smiling against his lips. He was unsure if he was going to make it to the mission, he felt like he was going to die right here under the control of the devil in his arms. She pulled her lips away, softly biting his lower lip and dragging it with her before letting it go with a light kiss. This was painful.

"I need you. Now," Cas begged her, his voice deep and gravelly.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by a familiar sparkle. It had been so long since he had seen that. He was completely under her spell now. He would do anything she wished, it didn't matter what she asked he would do it. She shook her head no to his pleas and he groaned again as she started to rub her hips up and down against his. He threw his head back in frustration and she giggled, pulling his face back to hers. She kissed him lightly, teasingly. His mouth tried to quicken the pace but she never gave in. She kissed him slow, running her fingers through his hair, stroking his face with the tips of her fingers. His body was on fire.

"You're worse then the devil himself," Cas breathed as her mouth tasted the skin of his neck, her tongue running softly over the sensitive skin.

"Mmhmm," she answered, the vibration of her voice on his throat sent another crippling jab to his lower half.

"Please."

"You can beg all you want."

He groaned again, shoving his hips against hers hard, making her throw her head back, a little moan escaping her lips. He knew the shortcuts he needed to take, but she still was holding up exceptionally well this time. When her eyes greeted his again they were dark, glazed over. They were hungry, but still that sparkle held, she was going to draw this out.

"Dammit woman," he spoke through his teeth and one corner of her mouth pulled up into a mischievous little grin.

"You're mine," she whispered, running her hands along his chest.

"Always."

Her expression softened as he whispered that final word, pushing his face against hers, their noses touching. He could feel her breath on his lips and he desperately wanted to cover her mouth with his. She leaned in slowly and kissed him again, only this time it was different. It was slow and burning. Her hair fell from behind her shoulders, tickling his face as her lips moved methodically against his. He put both of his hands on the sides of her head as his brows furrowed. The realization hit that this could possibly be the last time he stood here with her. He knew that she was thinking the same thing as her lips slowed on his.

"Don't," he whispered, his lips grazing hers as he spoke.

He knew what she was thinking, he didn't want her to stop, he didn't want this to become ridden with sadness. He wanted her. Happy, excited, passionate. In an attempt to relight her fire he placed his lips next to her ear and sent his hips grinding into hers, hard, and full of intent. He groaned softly and he felt her legs squeeze around him tighter as she squeaked. He did it again, groaning louder this time and her eyes looked into his as she began fumbling with his shirt, trying to pull it up and over his head. He backed her away from the wall, placing her feet back on the ground and her hands went directly to the hem of that shirt and she ripped it over his head. Her hands roamed over the newly exposed skin of his chest and she looked up at him, mouth slightly parted, her eyes were on fire, smoldering green. Her fingernails raked against his skin just enough to sting a little, leaving light red trails, until she reached the waist of his jeans. She undid the belt, button and zipper with precision, shoving them off of his hips.

Cas walked forward a few steps, wrapping his arm around her waist pushing her backwards as he stepped out of his boots and the pants pooled at his ankles. Now it was his turn. He ran his finger lightly under her shirt on her stomach causing her to sigh in anticipation. He felt the three scars raked across her side, something he knew she was very self-conscious about. He raised her shirt over her head slowly and saw the flicker of shyness dance across her face. No matter how many times he told her those scars didn't matter, that she was still the most beautiful thing in the world to him, she still got embarrassed about them. He kneeled down in front of her, wrapping one arm around her waist, running the length of her thigh with the opposite hand. He leaned in and planted soft, sweet kisses along the length of each of her scars and he felt her body relax again. Her hands began combing through his hair as she looked down at him. His eyes met hers as his lips continued across her stomach and they were filled with love. He would never get over that look. How on Earth had he become the one so lucky to have her? She looked down in adoration as his tongue danced along her skin.

He ran his hand from her thigh, over her hip and up to her pants waist, avoiding the one place he knew she wanted to be touched. He undid the button and zipper slowly, kissing the newly exposed patch of skin. He pulled them down, before standing and pushing her backward so she could step out of them. He lifted her legs up around him again and sent her flying backwards onto their bed. Her hair was splayed out perfectly around her head as she waited for him to come crashing back down onto her. She smiled up at him and he covered her body with his, bringing his hand to her core. She felt his fingers graze her and lifted her hips up to meet his hand, wrapping her arms around his neck, taking a sharp breath in. He couldn't deny her what she wanted. He pushed his hand past the thin fabric of her panties and pressed his fingers down onto her waiting flesh. He began moving his fingers in slow circles, just like he knew she liked. Her eyes squeezed close as she threw her head back onto the bed and her back arched. Soon, little panting moans started escaping her mouth and he just stared down at her in awe, he was so in love with her. He quickened his pace and her eyes shot open, one hand gripped the hair on the back of his head and she pulled his mouth down to hers.

Her kisses were hungry, passionate, even a little sloppy. She moaned into his mouth, pulling away every so often to breathe. He felt her body begin to quiver, she was close and he wanted to send her over the edge. He pulled her up, keeping his hand firmly in place between her legs and expertly undid the clasp to her bra and ripped it away from her body. Leaning her back down he took one of her nipples into his mouth, flicking the tiny pink bud with his tongue. She screamed in ecstasy as he slipped 2 fingers inside her and moved them in and out quickly.

"Fuck!" she screamed as he felt her muscles begin tighten around him, "Cas! Uhhhh!"

He raked his teeth against the sensitive skin in his mouth and she screamed again before collapsing to the bed, panting. He brought his mouth back up to hers and she took it greedily. He removed his fingers from inside her and pulled her panties down before ripping his boxers off and positioning himself in between her legs. She wiggled her hips until she felt him nudging her entrance. A small moan escaped his lips as he felt her, warm and wet, rubbing up against him, he wanted this so bad it had started to ache. He looked down at her, getting visual consent from her eyes, dark and greedy.

He pushed in slowly, savoring every feeling as her warm body surrounded him. She moaned quietly in his ear as she took all of him in. He breathed out loudly when his hips finally hit hers, he looked down at her with pleading eyes, begging her to help him move forward, he was in heaven just like this. She smiled kissing him with all the love in the world. She pushed her hips up, urging him to move his out and back in and he did, grunting softly as he filled her again.

"I can't," he whispered, breathing hard, he was too afraid to move, never wanting this closeness with her to end.

She sat up, pushing him out of her as she did and he moaned in protest. He remained leaning on his knees and she sat with her legs around him, guiding him back inside of her as she pushed her hips up onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly.

"Like this," she guided.

Her hips pulled up away from his and he pushed his forward up to meet hers. He buried his face in her neck, wrapping his hands in her hair as they found a perfect rhythm. She stroked the back of his head lovingly, breathing out soft moans into his ear. He was fighting every urge of his body to throw her down and finish, his arms flexed around her as he breathed her name. She pulled his lips to hers again, planting a slow, burning kiss upon his waiting mouth. He groaned loudly into her mouth and her pace quickened, he was so close, he felt his body burn, he needed more of her, all of her.

With a growl he grabbed her under her bottom and flipped her back down onto the bed, never breaking their connection. He began thrusting in and out of her hard and fast, reaching a hand down between her legs and holding it over her sweet spot, letting the motion of his hips pounding against hers grind her body over his fingers. Her back arched as she screamed his name amongst throaty moans. Her eyes opened staring directly into his as they both exploded into each other. He yelled as he finally allowed his body release, thrusting into her softly a few more times with small moans escaping his lips. As they both laid breathing heavy he bent his head and kissed his wife soft and soothingly.

"I love you," he said against her mouth, planting a few sweet kisses afterwards.

"I love you," she breathed as his mouth traveled to her neck and she wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let him go, feeling the familiar tears start to fill her eyes.

"No crying," he demanded, wiping one escaped tear from her cheek and kissing the place where it had been.

Those words made her cry harder. Her face contorted and she felt the hot, wet trails on her cheeks. Her looked down at her, and he felt a tear escape his eye as well. He was almost certain he would be dying tonight; this was the last time with her he would ever have. She looked up at him and saw his tears and she whispered his name, pulling his head down to her shoulder. And he wept. He ran his hands up and down his wife's body, savoring the feeling of her soft skin under the rough calluses of his palm.

"I love you so much," he choked out, wrapping his arms under her head around her neck.

"I know," she reassured him through her sobs, squeezing him a little tighter.

"I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. Any of this."

"Ssshhhh."

She stroked the back of his head, kissing whatever part of his head her lips would reach.

"Stay with me, until I fall asleep," she pleaded, "One last time."

He pulled his head up and looked into her begging eyes. He nodded. Regretfully, he pulled himself out of her and grabbed his boxers from the end of the bed. As they put their clothes back on they didn't look at one another. She put his shirt on and he smiled a little, every time. She pulled the blankets of their bed back and they both crawled in. She put her head on his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

They stayed silent, she stayed awake for as long as she could, but soon sleep overtook her. He looked down at her sleeping form and put his hand on the side of her head, cradling her to him. He cried again, softly this time, tears falling silently from the inside corners of his eyes.

He felt someone crawl into bed on the other side of him and he looked over and saw Eli rubbing his eyes sitting on the bed next to him. His silent tears began shaking his chest as he cried again, reaching his hand out to his son. Eli took it and curled up on the other side of Cas's chest. Cas wrapped his arm around the child, placing his large hand over Eli's small one on his chest. He kissed his son on his head, letting his lips linger for one last time.

As he held his sleeping family on the bed, he turned his eyes upwards to the ceiling. A great sense of anger overtook him.

"This is your fault you bastard. Wherever you are, I hope you're seeing this" Cas spoke through his teeth, "You could have prevented all of it."

He looked around, waiting for some kind of answer, but God gave none.