Author's Note: Woo woo...I've got kinda a dark fic for you all today. And it's shounen ai, so if you don't like that sort of thing, you know the drill. The back button's right there, click at your own risk. And if you decide to flame me...well, I might just sic an unhappy Wuffie on you. Yes, I am that mean. *evil cackle* ^_^
Kismet: My third posted fic at fanfiction.net! *grin*
Wufei: Who'd you kill off this time, onna?
Kismet: Silly Wuffie, no one dies this time. Although I might when Duo and Heero find out what I wrote. Do me a favor and lock all the windows and doors, would ya?
Wufei: Are you telling me this is a torture fic?
Kismet: Umm...something like that. ^_^
Wufei: Fine, onna, but it's your funeral. Remember that.
Kismet: Will you stop saying that? If you keep on annoying me, I just might sell your soul to Sally.
Wufei: And people wonder why I hate women so much.
Kismet: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just start the fic, shall we?
by Kismet
kismetchan@hotmail.com
**********
// To have found this perfect life,
And a perfect love so strong,
Well, there can't be nothing worse
Than a perfect love gone wrong... //
A shrill, persistent whine pierced through the still night air as painfully as a needle stabbing through his eardrums. As his mind was yanked from obscurity to the excruciating agony of consciousness, he shuddered from the disquiet. His head was pounding and it hurt just to move his eyes around in their sockets.
The sound didn't seem to stop, so he stirred slightly, rolling over onto his back enough for him to realize he had been lying face-down on the threadbare carpet. Funny, he hadn't remembered going to sleep in that position...but there were a lot of things about the previous night that he couldn't remember.
He tried to open his eyes, but they were immediately filled with a searing brilliance that he vaguely recognized as sunlight. He could feel the warmth on this face, and he tilted his head to the left to the comfort of the darkness. He blinked a couple times and found that he was sprawled out in a bright patch of sunlight that streamed in from a nearby window. Slowly, painfully, his brilliant blue eyes focused on an object that lay not three feet from him. He stared at it.
It was the phone. Feeling disoriented, it took a moment for Heero Yuy to figure out that it was the phone that was making the infernal racket. Somehow he managed to suppress the urge to throw the damn thing across the room and instead lifted his right arm just enough to nudge the receiver off its hook.
The ringing came to a screeching halt. Instant peace.
But not for long.
"Hello? Heero, are you there?" a voice crackled over the line. Words spoken quickly and worriedly, spoken by a voice that he vaguely recognized.
Heero merely shut his eyes again, trying to place the voice. It was one he had not heard for quite some time...but he welcomed it. He thrust his arm over to the phone and his fingers closed around the receiver. He dragged it back slowly and summoned the energy to hold it to his right ear.
"Hello," he rasped. His voice sounded low and more like a growl than a question.
"Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Heero, it's Quatre."
Quatre...in his mind's eye he could visualize the little Arabian looking exactly as he had the day he had last seen him. His golden hair, bright blue eyes, gentle, worried expression. He could trust Quatre.
"Hello, Quatre," Heero responded halfheartedly.
"Oh, Allah, do you know how long it's taken me to track you down?" He sounded frustrated at Heero's reaction, like he had expected more of a reply but had known along that it was a mistake to do so. "Are you all right? I was beginning to think you'd disappeared off the face of the earth," he continued.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
Heero was beginning to get a little annoyed himself. "Aa."
Quatre sighed audibly on the line. "Look, Heero, I haven't been on the phone trying to find you for three hours just to bother you about your health. You see, Hilde called me earlier this morning...with news about Duo."
Duo? Heero was fully conscious in a heartbeat. "What happened?" he said, trying to keep his voice monotone.
It didn't work. Quatre seemed to sense his anxiety all the way from L4. Damn it. "We're not sure," he explained. "Hilde said she's been out of town for about a week, so she called Duo yesterday and that...something was very wrong with him. He was acting extremely irrationally, almost to the point of being suicidal. Hilde was worried. She tried to call him again this morning, but Duo wasn't home."
Heero was silent, expecting Quatre to go on.
"Heero?"
"Yes?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes."
"What do you make of it?"
"Quatre, I haven't laid eyes on Duo for nearly a year and a half," he finally muttered. His voice came out more gruffly than before, and more harshly than he meant to be. "How do you expect me to know what's wrong with him?"
The other ex-pilot didn't answer for a long time, but Heero knew what he was thinking. Heero had known Duo Maxwell once, really known him. He had seen what was past the jester's mask. As much as Heero didn't want to admit it, if anyone even remotely knew what Duo could be thinking at the present moment...it should be him.
"When was the last time you talked to him?" Quatre suddenly asked.
Heero pulled himself to a sitting position. He knew the answer...it was exactly sixteen months and eleven days ago, on the day they split up. But he didn't say this. "A little more than a year."
"What did he say?"
"I think I'll leave that to your imagination," Heero said shortly.
The Arabian knew as well as Heero did that Duo had said some things on that day that neither wished to remember. A simple disagreement that had escalated into a full-scale war...and neither boy knew why.
"Hmmm..."
Heero rose to his feet and stumbled over to the window. The autumn sun was pouring down onto the rooftops like liquid gold. It was a beautiful day outside.
He turned his back on it and staggered down the hall to his small bedroom, kicking empty soda cans out of the way. "What are you getting at, Quatre? You're telling me that Duo is currently in a semi-suicidal state...but why?"
"I --" Quatre's voice was quiet, and Heero knew he had him caught. "I think you should go see him," he said. "To prevent him from doing something he'd regret."
"Isn't that what Hilde is for?" The harsh words were out of Heero's mouth before he even realized it. He felt as if someone had possessed him and was making him act this way...but then he always felt uneasy wherever Duo was concerned.
"Hilde can't be there for another week or so. She's going out of her mind with worry."
Heero collapsed on his bed and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Really."
Quatre paused. "They're not involved, you know," he said at length.
"Hn."
"You've got to do something, Heero. You can't go on like this. If you don't decide to do something soon, then...I'll call Relena."
"You wouldn't," Heero breathed.
"I would."
"..."
"Heero..."
"What?! What do you want from me, Quatre?" Heero retorted. He suddenly felt very tired. More tired than he had ever felt in his life.
"Stop being stubborn. It's ruining both your lives."
Heero opened his mouth to object, but there was a click and he was suddenly left with nothing but the dial tone, beeping an unpleasant rhythm that echoed throughout his mind.
To say Heero was surprised would be an understatement. Quatre wasn't known for his forcefulness, and for him to actually be as rude as to hang up on someone...he must have been desperate to get through to Heero. But was he right? Was he allowing his memories of Duo to ruin his life?
Heero rubbed his eyes. Now that was something to lose sleep over. And lose sleep he did, almost every night. Every time the sky darkened, so did Heero's thoughts. The memories always came back, manifesting themselves as endless dreams. Sometimes Heero thought he would go insane from the monotony. Night after night, Duo's voice...weaving its way in and out of Heero's subconscious, haunting him ever since the day he left.
The day I left...
He remembered that day almost perfectly. A clear sky not unlike the one at present. Children were outside playing. People were out and about, walking their pets, tending to household chores. And when Heero looked out the window, that's exactly what he thought he saw. An average, sunshine-filled day. He had no inkling that a storm was brewing, a storm intensified by raw emotion...and Duo's inner demons.
Something had set him off -- it was over such an insignificant thing that Heero could barely recall what it was. They had fought for stupid reasons before, all couples did...but never like they did on that day. Somehow, a hidden fury in Duo that Heero had never seen was unleashed...and that day Heero found himself staring into the deep indigo eyes of Shinigami himself...
They had been out walking, enjoying a rare beautiful afternoon after a week of rain on L2. The artificial sky simulated a clear spring day with a low breeze, and everyone seemed to be outdoors, taking advantage of the weather.
Days like these made Heero feel human again. He was content to go out and walk the streets with Duo by his side, each cracking jokes to make the other laugh. Indeed, days like these made Heero glad to be alive. It had taken Heero years to forget the past and become the person he was, and he only wanted to share his new self with Duo. Though he was now more outspoken, Heero still longed to tell him this outright, but he never could find the right moment.
"What should we go do today, Hee-chan?" Duo asked him, casually slipping his hand into Heero's.
Heero smiled at the nickname. All that mattered to him was that Duo was with him. "I don't care."
"How 'bout we go get some lunch, then?"
"Sounds good," Heero responded as Duo pulled him towards the nearest coffee shop across the street. They glanced both ways before leaving the curb...and that was one of the last things Heero could recall.
Though Heero was a different person than he had been years before, his reflexes were as sharp as ever. When confronted by a dangerous situation, he reacted without even thinking. And he didn't have time to think of anything else but Duo as a car came careening around the corner and headed straight for them. He threw himself in front of Duo, knowing it was too late to try to get out of the way...
Heero remembered very little about what happened afterwards. He must've been thrown to the ground, because when he opened his eyes in the hospital, he could still see in his mind's eye the image of Duo standing over him, a terrified expression in his wide eyes, saying his name over and over again.
When he woke up, a nurse was hovering nervously by his side. She explained to him that he had been hit by a car but managed to get off with very minor injuries. Heero still had plenty of physical scars from the war, and the nurse seemed awfully curious about them, so he hightailed it out of there as soon as possible. It turned out all he had was thirteen stitches and a bump on his head. Big deal, he thought.
Duo was waiting anxiously outside. "Hee-chan!" he exclaimed when he saw Heero emerge, relief spreading across his face. "Are you all right? How's your head?"
Heero smiled and rubbed his forehead. "Er...do I know you?" he said playfully.
Duo froze. "What did you say?"
"You look awfully familiar," Heero continued. He was enjoying himself. "Have we met before?"
"Holy Jesus shit," Duo murmured, going completely white. "Heero, don't you remember me?"
Heero laughed. "Of course I remember you, baka! How could I forget?"
One thing Heero would never forget was the look on Duo's face when he realized his koi had only been joking. He had never seen him look so scared in his entire life. He blinked in shock...and then his eyes went dark.
"Yeah, how could you forget?" Duo spat. Then he spun on his heel and left, daring Heero to follow him home.
**********
Kismet: Woo...things aren't too happy, are they?
Wufei: That was really stupid. I can't believe you're going to keep going with this.
Kismet: Who asked you, ponytail boy?
Wufei: *smirk* You asked for constructive criticism.
Kismet: I said constructive, not destructive.
Wufei: Same difference.
Kismet: *points to door* OUT!