Nothing

"Mate…"

"What the hell do you want?"

"Look at you Eddie!"

"I can't. I broke my mirror."

I restrained a sighed and laid back on the couch. My eyes were fixated on the ceiling and I grabbed the plastic, golden sphere lying on the low table. I began throwing up in the air and I became indulged into catching it. My mind retracted from everything, and everything was blank.

I feel nothing.

Obscurity consumed me. And all I heard was a quiet and distant call of my name. I shut my eyes for a few moments and saw a glimpse of her face. Her exposed beauty was tantalizing and I longed to hold her again. She smiled mischievously and I reached out for her. My hand extorted towards her impeccable physique but she began to run. She ran away from me. I couldn't move. I was immobile, frozen in place and I couldn't chase after her. Her sweet laughter cascaded a deep void within me and I opened my eyes immediately. I proceeded to throw the ball back up again.

"Eduardo."

I looked up to meet green eyes staring intently at me. I shrugged and sat up. "What do you guys want?"

"For you to snap out of this."

"What?"

He laughed mockingly and leaned on the arm chair. "Are you serious? It's ridiculous that you're like this for a girl." Tyler looked at Ian; I looked between them and lurched back on the couch. I clutched the sphere and my jaw clenched. "Mate…"

"I don't know why you guys are worrying about me. I'm okay."

"You look like utter shit."

I chuckled bitterly. And Ian ran a hand through his hair. "What happened?"

"They broke up."

"No shit, Einstein."

I threw the ball at Ian and he caught it. "She broke up with me." He nodded apprehensively.

"Why?"

I looked at him and shrugged. "I was a careless with her…"

"Careless as in?"

"Inconsiderate about how she felt."

"Ed-"

"I had no clue that her dad came back. I had no damn clue that was she hurting about it and to make it worse I left for my world tour without her."

"But she couldn't remember… she had to stay here until she graduated from high school."

"That's not the point Ian; I didn't beg her to go with me. I let her go easily when I should've been there for her."

"Okay… but I don't understand the breakup?"

I rubbed my face and the scenes flashbacked. Tears were rapidly rolling down her cheek and her body trembled. I stood a few feet away from her, my head hung low. I couldn't look at her. I didn't know how I'd react to see her so vulnerable, so broken. You don't mean it. Please tell me you don't mean it, babe. A whimper escaped and I cringed. My hands turned into fist and she nodded. We're not good for each other. This is not going to work. I still have the mentality of a crazed fan remember. I flinched at her words and regretted everything that just happened. The words echoed. And there was a tug in my heart. Remorse took over and I knew how at fault I was. I did this, now I pay the prize.

I lost her.

She didn't forgive me and left me all alone in despair. Anguish devoured me and the door slammed.

"I didn't chase after her. I let her got through that door when I should've run after her."

"Mate… maybe she is right."

My body went rigid, I felt as if a million needles were being penetrated into my heart. I looked straight at Ian and he backed away. My eyes narrowed and he cleared his throat. "Ian…" I said trying to regain my composure. Total rage took over, irrational but I still haven't given up the hope that she'll come to the realization that I didn't mean anything I said. I still hung onto that thin thread that has me calling her every day. I don't give up, not even when she hangs up on me.

I keep fighting for her, but she doesn't let me in.

Should I quit? Should I let her go?

I'm dying a painful death and she doesn't know how much I'm hurting. How much I need her right now. I can't breathe; I can't do anything without feeling animosity.

"Eddie, man, look you're better without her. You guys were intoxicating for each other. Complete opposites."

A pungent smile appeared, "How can I believe that when you told me that we were kind of 'perfect' together? You're contradicting yourself, Tyler."

He suspired, "I'm trying to make it easier for you."

"Thanks, but I'm still feeling pretty fucked up."

I stood up from the couch. Tyler placed his hand on my shoulder and stopped me from walking away. "Where are you going?"

"Loren's apartment."

I stated and picked up my keys. I want to see her. I need to see her. Ian and Tyler looked at each other in alert. Ian blocked my way to the door and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Ian move."

"Sorry Ed but going to see her is the worst possible thing you can do."

"I need her."

"Well I need a lot of things but I can live without them and so can you."

"This is different Ian."

"Dude c'mon a girl? You can get over it."

"I need her." I repeated again. "Let me go." I warned. Ian sighed. "Why don't we head off to Rumour and get a couple of drinks? You get your head straight and realize that it's for the better that you two aren't together. C'mon Ed."

"I appreciate that you are trying to help me. But I'm okay. I need to set things straight with her. She needs to forgive me. I need her… and you don't understand how much I do. So let me go."

"You're crazy mate."

"You know what? Yeah I'm crazy. I am to you but to me it makes perfect sense." They both exchanged glances. "I love her and that will never change."

"You said that about Chloe and look what happened."

"Don't even bring Chloe into this. Loren and she don't even compare. I thought I loved Chloe, but then I met Loren."

"Rumour Eddie."

"Loren's house."

"We're not letting you go. If it means knocking you unconscious, then let it be."

My jaw clenched and my body tensed. I looked at the door and cursed as I knew I would be knocking at her door right now. Setting things straight. A part of me wanted to push myself to her house and talk to her, but the other part of me was afraid of what she'll say. I didn't put on another fight and we left the penthouse.

I gave up too fast too easy.

That's why I lost her.

"That's enough Eddie."

Tyler grabbed the bottle from my hand and placed it as far as possible from me. They both looked at me concerned and remorse was evading their features. "You're drunk."

"I'm not," I slurred. "Give me the god damn beer." I banged the table, attracting attention from the customers. Ian sighed and stood up. "I guess it didn't work… We only got ourselves a drunken Eddie."

"Where's Loren?" I mumbled and my vision began to blur. I rubbed one eye and started to stand up. "Where is she?"

"She's home sleeping."

"I gotta talk to her." I limply pushed the chair back and it slid backwards falling on the floor. Ian grabbed my arm and I sluggishly leaned on him. Tyler smiled apologetically to the other people. "It's one in the morning; I don't think she'll find a call amiable at this hour."

"I don't care-" I pushed Ian back and grabbed the beer from the table. Tyler snatched back and shook his head. "No."

"Take me to her."

"Eddie-"

"I just need to see her. That's all I need."

I pressed my hand on my forehead and I began feeling nauseous. Above my incapability to think, only one thing was clear.

Loren.

Sloppily, I brushed passed Ian and walked towards the exit. I heard Ian's footsteps behind me and Tyler followed.

I groaned as lights were blinding me and quickly walked outside. "Eddie wait!"

I made it a few feet before Tyler and Ian dragged me in the opposite direction. "We're going the other way."

"I need Loren." I growled but they extracted me. "Let me go." I murmured.

"Eddie this is-"

I pulled away from their grips and took out my phone. "I just need to talk to her." I began looking for her name, her picture, anything. I looked at her number and held my breath as I pressed call. I placed it on my ear and it began ringing. But before she could pick up. Before I could talk to her and talk some sense into her, someone grabbed the phone and hung up. "What the hell are you doing?" I yelled and narrowed my eyes at Tyler. He avoided my daggers and put the phone on his pocket. "You're drunk, you're not thinking properly." I walked over to him and breathed heavily. I grabbed his collar, clutched it and pulled him to my level. He extended his arms and taunted me. "Come at me. If punching me is the only way to make you see how stupid you are being, then go ahead!"

"Guys, knock it off."

"Go on Eddie Duran. Beat the living shit out of me. But over my dead body are you going to Loren's house."

He smirked and I let go of his shirt. I ran a hand through my hair and my body shook. I know… I know that if I go to her now I could change her mind. She'll see how much I'm hurting. I know that she'll take me back and come to her senses. I need her. She needs me too. I know she does… but why won't she take me back?

I'm not worthy of her.

That's it.

I'm not.

"You need to sit down, Mate."

"What I need is Loren."

"Sit." They both hauled me to the nearest wall and pushed me down. Forcing me to sit down on the cemented pavement. I breathed heavily and shook my head. "Loren."

"Eddie no."

"I need Loren!"

"This isn't good for you."

"Can't you fucking see? She's the only one who can fix me."

"You're drunk Ed and you're speaking rubbish."

"So what!"

I clutched my hair and my body trembled. "Loren…" I repeated over and over again. "Loren…" I swallowed and my body continued to shake. Ian and Tyler were standing, watching over me.

"Why can't she see how much I need her?" I looked at them asking for answers. It was hopeless. It was inevitable. "Why can't she take me back and forgive me? I didn't mean anything I told her… I didn't mean to insult her and let her get away. Why can't I talk to her?"

"You should let her go, Eddie."

"NO!" I shouted with fury. I was being dominated by complete acerbity and they both told me to keep it quiet. But I couldn't. Not when her face was depleting me.

"You both-"

"I love her." I weakly began to stand up. I used the wall as support and began walking towards the direction of her apartment. "Eddie come back over here."

"Loren!"

Maybe she'll hear me.

If I yell loud enough she'll listen to me.

"LOREN!"

They both tried to drag me back but I continued walking. "Loren!" I yelled, this time softer. Should I quit and let her go?

Am I better off dead?

She will never take me back. I was careless, I was negligent to how she felt and didn't consider her pain. I left her for six months and she left me forever.

I was stupid. I was stupid for ever letting her go.

What's wrong with me?

Everything.

"Eddie!"

"Loren!"

I bumped into passersby and they pushed me away, completely oblivious to whom I was.

How could I let her go when I still love her? She needs to see the mess I am. She needs to realize that I never stopped loving her.

I never did, never will.

I felt a hold on my arm and Ian pulling me. I detracted my hand and began walking in zig zags. Not conscious of the screams coming out of my mouth.

They call me crazy.

They call me insane for getting like this for a girl.

But I love this girl. I love her too much and it hurts that she doesn't see it.

"I LOVE YOU!" I yelled. I yelled and I yelled. I was walking through a small flower venue and snatched a flower. Her favorite rose, the one I gave her on our first date.

Aren't you the sweetest!

She had exclaimed and softly kissed me. I still remember those lips. Plump and enticing. And I want to savor them again. I want her pressed against my body. I want her hands vigorously running through my hair. I want to relish the moans escaping her lips as I nibble on neck. I want all of her. Just like it was the first time I met her where I desired her with burning passion.

I need her.

"I need you…" I whispered. I kept walking to no end. Only one place in mind. I don't know how long I kept walking but Tyler and Ian gave up. They let me go after her.

"Let him be. It's useless." They said and their footsteps trailed behind me. They had sighed in relief when I stopped yelling her name.

I was drunk, but I knew that if I was face to face with her she will come to her senses. She will take me for sure. Each inebriated step led me to her door. I just need to speak to her.

"We're here."

I said as I looked at the door. I stepped backwards when I realized how close to the door I was. "Call her first." Ian advised. He passed me my phone and I took it. "If she doesn't pick up you can start pounding on the door." The flower on my hand, the phone on the other and I began dialing her number. I impatiently waited for her to pick up. After three rings and a click I began to utter what I wanted to say to her.

"I'm helpless. I'm crazy about you. I need you. Please, I need you so much." I choked. I rubbed my eyes and prevented the tears on my face. Out of the two, someone patted my back. "Please- I-I still love you babe." Silence inundated me. Tears blurred my vision even more. Silence was all I heard. No words were said. I knew she was in the other line listening to my silent cries. I knew she had picked up but absolutely no words.

I got nothing.

Then she hung up.

It struck me like lightening. I felt as I was being banged by the shores into the jagged boulders. I felt as if I was twirling in a tornado and knives unexpectedly pierced through my body. I felt as I had fell of a three story building, landed on my knees and laid there in pain with no one's aid.

But they all don't compare to this pain. This convulsion that has me in the peak of cracking. I choked and the phone slipped from my hand and crashed on the floor. Breaking apart like my heart.

I got nothing.

I am nothing.

I clutched the rose, the needles slashed my skin and my hand began to bleed. Red droplets landed on the floor and I stared at the door. "Eddie…" Tyler spoke first and I shook my head.

Doesn't she know how much I love her?

Why does she do this to me?

"Let's go."

They don't understand how much pain is being inflicted on me.

"You need to move on."

How can I when I still love her?

"Eddie-"

"I'm not moving."

"You're drunk."

"I don't care. She will listen to me. She will change her mind."

"No she won't."

I fluttered my eyes and pressed my head against the door. I'm not moving. She needs to realize what she did to me. I need her to forgive me. I didn't mean anything I said. I wish I could take them back.

"Loren…"

"Shit here we go again."

I knocked softly. After a few beats no answer. I knocked again.

I got nothing.

I knocked again, harsher.

I knocked again, stronger.

I knocked again and still I got nothing.

The flower was still held in my hand.

I began to yell. I screamed. I shouted. And all I heard was my echo. My echo was the only thing coming back. A whisper… a damn whisper will do but I get nothing.

Complete silence follows after each yell. "LOREN!" I banged her door. I pounded as powerful as I could. She knows it's me. I need to see her face again. I just want to feel alive and see her face again.

Just my echo.

Just her silence.

I'm on the edge and I'm screaming her name at the top of my lungs.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

NOTHING.

Hello, babe? Are you there? Can you let me in?

I need you.

I fell on my knees. I looked up to the obscured sky. The moon was not cascading its light. Clouds hovering it and I saw nothing. My face was wet with tears, cries escaped. Lights were turning on in a sequential pattern. Everyone's light was on except hers. I swallowed and shouted her name.

Nothing.

All I get is nothing.

Can't she feel it? Can't she hear my heart breaking into million pieces to never be recovered? I dropped to the ground. My knees on the floor, my palms on the floor. My head hung low and Ian and Tyler were quiet.

I am drunk.

I won't remember this void when I wake up. I won't remember going to her house at two in the morning and yelling her name. I won't remember delirium consuming me.

But I'll remember the heart ache.

I'll remember how lost I am at this moment.

I'll remember how much I love her.

"It's 2:40 Eddie…"

My eyes widened. My heart beat quickened. It all happened to fast. It all went too fast. Before I knew it she was on her knees as well. Her hands cupped my cheeks and she began stroking them, wiping the tears away. I held my breath and she shook her head. "Do you really think it's worth it?"

"Loren…" I whispered in shock.

"Aren't you tired of screaming my name so much? You woke up everyone…" She caressed my cheek and traced the tears silently slipping. "Is it worth it? Look at you." She shivered and shook her head again. "Look at me…" She laughed breathless and swallowed. "You should be sleeping and getting ready for your concert tomorrow. Eddie go back home."

"I-I can't." She frowned and continued to stroke my cheek. "Is it worth it?"

"You're worth everything."

"Eddie-"

"I'm not leaving."

"We-"

"I'm to broken to move on. I was- I was hoping you would forgive me."

"You won't even remember today."

"Not if you take me back."

'We're not good for each other."

"Bullshit, babe. We're meant to be."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

"It makes sense to me."

"Eddie-"

"I love you."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "You're drunk." She restated. I clutched her wrists and held her in place when she tried to stand up. "I was praying we might end up together…"

"It didn't work out remember." She said. "Eddie you need to go. You're saying things you don't even understand." She stood up and I instantly wrapped my arms around her. "Eddie let her go." My body trembled. Tears were rolling down and she shook her head. "Stay with me."

"You need to accept we are-"

"I can't quit now. I won't accept that we're estranged. I am nothing without you. Babe, please."

"Eddie-"

"Please. Please. Please. I can't make it without you."

"I-I"

"I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!"

"Mate!"

"Ed!"

I stopped all of the sudden. My body gave up. My hands were back to my sides. But she didn't move. She stayed close to me. A hollow ghost is what's left of me. Vain and lost. And she can't see that.

Am I better off without her?

No.

NO.

I will never be better without her. She's what makes me complete. I am me only when I'm with her.

I will never forget her.

I will always love her.

She didn't move an inch. Instead she wrapped her arms around my head and I wrapped my arms around her waist, extracting her to me. If this is all she's giving me then I'll relish this moment. She gently played with the locks on my hair and I dug my head deep into her stomach. I was on my knees, embracing her, breaking even more.

"Eddie." She said my name and her hands lifted my face to me her gaze. Tears landed on my cheek, they combined with mine and they began to drop. She sniffled and a small smile appeared on her face. She nodded her head.

I remember what I wanted to give her.

I remember the stolen rose.

I remember when I fell in love with her.

I lifted the rose to her and her eyes widened. She stared at the rose in complete awe and took it. She scrutinized the white rose and took a sniff. "I'm worthy." I said. She looked down at me and nodded. "Makes no sense. But I am worthy to be with you. I am worthy to love you. But I am no one to hurt you. I'm drunk I know, but I know I love you whether I am or not."

"I love you Loren Tate and you can't recognize that. Remember when I told you I love you for the first time? I meant it. Remember two weeks ago in our apartment? I didn't mean anything I said. I love you and I'll keep repeating until you believe me. I don't care if I'm drunk. I don't care if I go crazy but I will never stop loving you. I can't move on. I can't let you go and you'll have to live with that. I'll always be waiting for you. I'm not going anywhere. For you, I would do anything."

"Eddie-"

"So let me stay. Let me back in and I'll fix things. I'll make it better. I will love you how you're supposed to be loved. I'll take care of you. I will always be with you and will become crazy together. I need you. Don't you need me too?"

She was silent. She didn't say anything. All I got was tears. All I got was silent whimpers. "I can't live without you, babe. Please take me back."

It was becoming harder for me to keep my eyes open. They were asking to close. I forced myself to keep them from closing and stared at her. She wiped her tears and smoothly placed her hand on my neck. She leaned down and my eyes were hooded. Exhaustion and my intoxication taking over me. I began to pass out and all I remember was her gently leaning down to me. Her lips moved slowly. Her lips leaned closer and I smiled as I heard her sweet whispers.

I remember tasting something sweet. Tasting something that I've missed for far too long.

I remember waking up in a foreign place. I remember feeling an aggravating migraine but it soon dispersed when I felt a fragile and petite body pressed against me. I recognized the soft arms wrapped around my torso and her intoxicating aroma.

And I began to hear her words. They resonated again.

I still love you.

HAhahahahah :) I have no idea what i just wrote. So I got a mixture of a bunch of sings into this. Nothing and The Man Who Can't Be Moved by the script. A Drop in The Ocean and Our Song by Ron Pope, Without You by David Ghetta, Echo by Jason Walker. Anyways excuse me if this didn't make sense. I wrote it under two hours and a half. But hope you liked it and leave a review telling me what you though :D