Spaghetti
Setting, small family run café in New York, NY, Italian, dinner time, Saturday night
Mike
I would like the spaghetti and meat balls with meat sauce.
Waiter
Do you want one meatball or two?
Mike
(He is hard of hearing)
Why would you ask me that?
Waiter
Sir, you have a choice so I'm just asking.
Mike
I was born this way, I didn't have a choice.
Waiter
Pardon me sir, I think you misunderstood.
Mike
Look, if I knew I had to have two balls to order a meal in here I would have gone somewhere else!
Waiter
Sir, I didn't say you had to have two balls, just if you wanted one or two meatballs with your spaghetti.
Mike
How many balls do you have to have to work here anyway? I see several female waitresses here.
Waiter
Sir if you would rather have a female waitress just say so.
Mike
Okay, I'll have one female waitress and I'll supply the meatball myself.
Waiter
Oh god SIR, you can not order a waitress for your meal; they are not on the menu.
Mike
Make up your mind will you. Look I don't care if you serve her on a plate or a menu just bring the brunette and hurry. My meatball is getting cold!