Everyone was dying to know every single detail of Hinata and Sasuke's relationship ever since the two were caught kissing in the bathroom. It wasn't too much of a surprise to see the grumpy Uchiha or the bashful Hyuuga disappear during one of Naruto's parties, but no one expected them to be together, especially in such an intimate manner.

What made the scenario all the more memorable was when Rock Lee had opened the bathroom door and revealed the two, Hinata had pulled back in shock and smacked Sasuke upside the head.

"CPR!" she cried. "H-He's not breathing!"

Sasuke's eye twitched but there was no hesitation as he played along and pretended to go limp in the Hyuuga girl's arms.

Unfortunately their theatrics was too convincing, as Rock Lee was even more energetic, more gullible, and further lacking in volume control when drunk and the sound of his voice drowned them out above all else.

"NEJI'S COUSIN! WHAT YOUTHFUL AFFECTION YOU SHOW TO SASUKE THROUGH YOUR KISSES! HERE, LET ME HELP!"

And to add on more embarrassment to the situation, Lee stumbled over towards the pair and also tried to get in on the action. Moments later everyone was crowded along the hallway as they watched Sasuke trying to peel the Green Beast off of his persons, claiming that he did not need mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Sakura, Into, and Tenten were all sitting on Hinata's bed, crowding the Hyuuga heiress as she hid under her covers. No matter how much they cooed her, Hinata was adamant about hiding in her bed until everything blew over, which wasn't going to be for a long, long time. Her father hadn't been angry at all. In fact, Hiashi was rather nonchalant about the whole ordeal since at least the Uchihas were on par in terms of class. Now if Hinata had been caught kissing some average Joe with – dare he say it – a humanities background, well that would have been a different story! Hinata could handle the angry glares she received from Sasuke's jealous fans or even Neji's avoided eye contact for being involved with his arch nemesis, but what she could not endure were the thumbs up and cheeky grins from her younger sister.

("Ooooh, Hinata, I knew you had a taste for wild men!")

"Was CPR seriously the only thing you could come up with?" asked Sakura.

"Hey, I've heard worse," defended Tenten.

"Yeah, not likely," said Ino. "I think the only worse excuse was when that Suigetsu guy said he was just making sure his new fillings were in place when he was caught biting Karin in the janitor's closet. Man, those two have really weird foreplay."

Ino looked down at Hinata and hollered, "Hey, did you hear that? You're not the only one who got caught having sexy times in a small, confined space. At least you didn't almost lose your V-card next to the mop used to clean up vomit."

Hinata lowered the blanket for the first time that afternoon and, although it was still covering the lower half of her face, everyone could see that she was bright red. Then in a tiny voice that was almost inaudible, she mumbled, "I wasn't trying to lose my V-card, but it's embarrassing and now everyone is talking about it…"

"Who cares? We've all had our own romantic misfires, Hinata. It happens."

"Oh, really?" inquired Ino, raising one of her perfectly kempt brows. "Name one of your own dating blunders, Tenten."

"Oh God, please don't," said Sakura. "I think the last thing Hinata needs to know is what you and her cousin have been doing behind closed doors."

"You're right. Besides, it's not really MY embarrassing moment as it is NEJI'S."

With that comment, both Sakura and Ino grew curious but would rather spare Hinata the details. Learning about your family's (sexual) dirty laundry wasn't just a mood killer, it was vomit inducing. However, some movement under the sheets and some mumbling caught their eyes.

"Actually… I'd like to hear that."

Tenten's face flushed red. "Hinata, you're not serious!"

"Neji is always so composed… it would make me feel better knowing that he's no better at relationships than I am as long as the more passionate details are kept vague."

Sakura's jade green eyes gleamed. "And you don't normally say anything about your relationship with him. I think this is a good bonding opportunity."

"Bonding opportunity, my ass! You just want dirt on me!"

"You're the one that brought it up."

"Okay, fine. But everyone has to tell one secret of their own or else I'm going to impale you with the first object I grab!"

The girls reassured her that they would and Tenten cast a longing look at the Hyuuga in the hopes that she would retract her request. When it didn't look like that was happening, the brunette sighed and mustered up whatever courage she had left.

"So during one of the first times we were…together. And I mean, y'know, TOGETHER," Sakura squealed and Ino snickered a bit and that just threw the girl off. "Well things were kind of good, I guess, and he seemed to be enjoying it so – y'know when you kind of moan your partner's name? Well Neji… kind of moaned the wrong one."

"Oh my God, was it Rock Lee's? I bet it was Rock Lee!" cried Ino.

"No, weirder."

"Ugh," Sakura gagged. "You mean like Gai-sensei?"

Ino laughed at that and Hinata just blanched. It was the first time that her blush had faded away that entire visit and her skin colour was almost back to what it normally was.

"No," Tenten said, covering her mouth as a snicker of her own was trying to escape. "Neji managed to moan HIS OWN name."

Everyone died.

Ino laughed so hard she felt herself working out her abs. "That narcissistic ass! How do you manage to moan your own name during sex?"

"Quiet, Ino! What if someone overhears you? What if Neji overhears?"

"Well maybe he'd like to hear his name coming from a woman's mouth for once," Sakura answered back jokingly and Ino almost high-fived her for that witty comeback.

Tenten smacked her hand over her face and deeply, deeply regretted telling her friends anything. Some things were better left unsaid, even if you weren't the one directly involved.

Hinata managed to sit up for once and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Did that ever happen again?"

"Or better yet, what happened afterwards?" asked Sakura.

"He kind of paused for a second, apologized, and then tried extra hard to please me."

Everyone shuttered.

"I never would have guessed Neji was such a passionate lover."

"I think I liked it better when I thought my cousin was asexual."

"The rules were that you had to keep details vague."

"Well now here's your chance to show her how it's done, Forehead. You're next!"

"Me? Why me? Why not you?"

"I need time to chose which one I need to tell. Save the best for last?"

"I don't have anything embarrassing."

"You and Naruto have been dating for the past two and a half years. What have you been doing all of this time?"

"Ino, don't be mean," chided Hinata.

"Well what about weird?" asked Tenten. "Embarrassing and weird are kind of the same thing."

Sakura shuffled in her spot for a bit. It seemed like the girl had an idea of what she wanted to say, but was fighting with herself whether or not she actually wanted to say it out loud. But one look into Hinata's pleading white eyes and the girl's constitution broke.

"So you know I'm not exactly packing that much up top," she gestured towards her semi-flat chest. "I know Naruto likes his girls a little more busty and curvy so sometimes I get worried that he'll get bored."

Hinata placed her hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Sakura, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Ino batted Hinata's hand away. "I beg to differ. That depends on how juicy this information is."

Sakura gave Ino the middle finger and Ino returned the gesture in a way that only best friends could do without creating permanent fissures in their friendship. "Anyway," Sakura said in a strained voice. "I have to be creative in keeping him interested since I'm kind of lacking in the boob department."

"Yes, and…?" Tenten started to move her hand in circles to hint at the girl to continue.

"Well to keep him interested I have to play up the whole mysterious shtick and… so… in two years, he's only seen one of my boobs."

There was a pregnant pause as Sakura's confession was registering in their minds. Surprisingly it was Hinata that broke the silence.

"Which one?"

"Left."

"Why that one?" was Tenten's follow-up question.

"It's the cuter one. Like it's perkier and slightly smaller so when I do show the other one, he won't be disappointed."

"When were you even planning on doing this great reveal? Two years? Jesus, Sakura…"

"Hey, I'll get to it!"

"Sakura, you weirdo, how do you even keep it covered up when you two are, like, doing it?"

"I have my ways…"

"Oh, no!" cried Tenten. "If you guys thought my answer was too much, I don't even want to pry deeper into that secret. That's for another time. Like maybe, never."

"Whatever." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Ino-Pig, you're next!"

"'Kay, fine." She straightened up and said in the most confident manner, "Shikamaru is lazy even when it comes to sex so one time when he couldn't be bothered to do anything, I had to please myself and smack my own ass with him lying beside me. He said that it was one of the most embarrassing things he had ever seen, like a beached manatee struggling on dry land, and that he felt compelled to continue. End of story."

All three girls laughed at their friend's bluntness and Ino just soaked it up, putting her hands before her like she was saying, "It is what is" before she placed them back over her lap. The Yamanaka girl was shameless and that was what everyone loved about her.

"That's one way to get someone to help you finish," giggled Hinata.

"I don't understand that boy sometimes. HE wasn't even finished that time and he just stopped."

"I think I'll call you Manatee from now on," said Sakura. "Ino-Pig is getting a bit old."

Ino looped one of her arms around the pinkette's shoulders, jokingly flicking the girl's forehead with her free hand, and laughed along with her.

"Hey, sometimes you gotta smack your own ass," said Tenten.

"Damn straight!" The blonde said back. "See, Hinata? These things happen."

Hinata bit her lip as that night's events were brought back to focus, but then the realization hit her that even if something embarrassing did happen between her and Sasuke, it would just make an entertaining story for her friends on a bad day.

"Yeah, you're right!"

It was the first time Hinata and Sasuke had been together and it wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it just was. Under normal circumstances, Hinata would be a lot more self-conscious but she knew that the first time wasn't going to be perfect and, according to what her friends had told her, it could be a lot worse. But even when embarrassing things did occur – how could they not? The funny sounds, the shuffling – sex wasn't going to be a romantic whirlwind every time.

Sasuke turned towards Hinata, eyes intense as ever. "Are you okay?"

She snuggled closer to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, leaving a soft kiss her on the forehead.

"Yes, everything is okay."

"You're not embarrassed, are you?"

She shook her head. "No, things could always be worse."

Sasuke exhaled and a moment later said, "Yeah, did you know that Shikamaru makes Ino slap her own ass?"

ClockRepair Message: I honestly have no idea where this came. Part of it was that it's been a while since my last fanfiction update (a bit over a year, guys) and another part of it was a chance to get out all of those unused one-liners I have in my head. This isn't like my typical SasuHina, since it takes a backseat, but if you read my other oneshots, you know that I love friendships between Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten. Other SasuHina tropes of mine will also include: a Neji/Sasuke rivalry, a snarky Hanabi, Sasuke's fans, and my weird little brand of humour to mix everything together.

Hopefully I managed to elicit some amused snorts (maybe even a giggle?) and that this story wasn't all build-up with no climax. Very much like Shikamaru. Ha! I kid. I do love Ino's obnoxious behaviour though and I think she doesn't get enough love without being labeled as an airhead. It was definitely so, so much fun to write her.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it! :D