Author's Note: With apologies to Rudyard Kipling, whose poem, The Vampire, inspired this one.
Umbridge, After Kipling
A fool he was, and stood his ground,
(Even as you and I!)
To the ancient crone, all short and round,
(We called her perdition's queen, uncrowned)
But the fool, he was too tightly wound
(Even as you and I!)
Oh, the year we wasted and the tears we tasted,
And the scars on the back of our hands
Belong to the woman who ran the show
(And now we know it was just for show)
And we could not understand.
A fool he was, but he nobly tries
(Even as you and I!)
To spread the truth 'bout the Dark Lord's rise
but the scars on his hand read "I must not tell lies,"
And the fool knows now she'll never be wise
(Even as you and I!)
For the sake of us all, and to fight darkness' pall
And to stand by our family and friends,
We'll defy the woman who'll never know love
(And now we know she will never know love)
And fight 'till the very end.
The fool was caught by his enemy's ruse
(Even as you and I!)
Though the woman detained him with force and abuse
(And the curse on the record ain't the one she would use)
So we ran to the rescue as soon as we got loose
(Even as you and I!)
And the battle we fought and the trouble we got
Ain't the point, and I'd say offhand
That it's coming to know she was following blind
(And we know from observing that she always was blind)
And never could understand.