A/n: This takes place just after Jiro discovers Akira and Reiko, hopefully there's no confusion. I know I'm rather vague, but try to figure it out, okay? Probably a little (okay, a lot) of OOC-ness, which does disappoint me to some degree… but I'll get over it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kikaider or "Invisible".[…]= Lyrics
InvisibleBy: Lioness of August
The stars shone brightly from above, they glittered and twinkled in the eyes of the dark-haired man below. He took his arm to his chest and rubbed it, trying to soothe the twinge of pain stinging his heart. Of course, he had no physical heart, but he knew that was where it would have been if he did. And even without a physical heart, he knew the pain of loving with the heart… and was he ever feeling it now.
[What you doing tonight?]
[I wish I could be]
[A fly on your wall]
He sensed there had been a life before this, there must have been. When he had awoken in the woods he had been much less than clean. But what had happened before? What was his life? Apparently, his robotic body remembered everything perfectly, because it kept twitching and hurting, and then a brief picture would flash in front of his eyes. He wished he knew where he had been before. He seemed to be longing for whatever it was.
[Are you really alone?]
[Who's stealing dreams?]
[Why can't I bring you into my life?]
Why couldn't he remember? He closed his eyes and rested his back on a tree.
Breathing deeply, Jiro relaxed and tried to sort through his thoughts. Where were his memories? An image sparked, but it was clouded. He tried to reach for the image, bring it closer, try to touch it. Then it vanished. The night wore on, and nothing came to his mind so he finally gave in and fell into a "sleep".
In his "dream" (more of an awkward and vague type of movie to Jiro) there was a woman, with dark hair. She seemed kind enough, but it was hard to focus on the rest of her, she seemed so sad. She was looking down at a lump in the bed next to the chair she was sitting in. The lump moved once every few minutes and once even turned to that Jiro could see it. It was a small boy, in faded yellow pajamas. He was sleeping, his hand gripping the blankets covering him. Something made the girl smile; she leaned over, kissed the boy's head, and whispered "good-night little brother," into his ear. The boy twitched a bit as the warm breath tickled his neck, but then settled back into his blissful sleep.
The woman rose from her seat and came toward Jiro. She whispered something to him, and he replied back, barely hearing his own words. She looked down to the floor for a few moments. When she looked back up, her eyes were filled to the brim with tears.
"You know that's not true, Jiro,"
That pang came back to his chest, "Sorry, I'm still adjusting to this," he replied. The woman nodded, the pain eased.
"C'mon, let's go back downstairs. I don't want to wake Masaru," she glided past him and he turned and followed.
Down the stairs and through two hallways, he followed her until they came to a large room with two couches and two chairs. He took a seat at one and she went around the corner to the kitchen. His eyes followed her… did she really mean what she said earlier? he asked himself. Does she really care the way she says she does? Am I more than a robot to her?
[What would it take to make you to see that I'm alive?]
Jiro was aroused from his "sleep". He tried to think back to what his mind had brought back to him in his "dreams", but he could bring nothing back except for the rememberance of pain… and maybe even the smile that had eased it?
[If I was invisible]
[And I could just watch you in your room]
Yes! He had dreamed of something! And it had eased his heart… but what had it been? Why couldn't he revisit that place right now?! Where was that smile that had soothed him so?
[If I was invincible]
[I would make you mine tonight]
"Jiro," Ichiro called, "we gotta go. NOW!"
"I know, I was just trying to recall what I had been thinking about earlier,"
"That conscience circuit of yours," Ichiro scoffed, "it must be driving you insane. You can't even remember what you were thinking about… glad we don't have one, eh Rei?" The quiet Rei nodded in response.
"Yeah…" Jiro mumbled, a real hazard, that conscience circuit.
Reiko and Akira were stirred from their slumber from the ever-obnoxious Ichiro, and the journey continued.
Walking slowly behind the others, Jiro tried vainly once again to bring back the lovely image from before…
[If hearts were unbreakable]
There! He saw her… she was on her knees in front of him. She was crying and pleading at him, "Jiro! Please, no! I—I didn't know you before!"
[And I could just tell you where I stand]
He snarled back, "But you meant it then!"
What was he doing? Jiro cried hopelessly, "remembering" his reaction. Why was he yelling at her?
[I would be the smartest man]
No! That woman… she had made him so happy before, in the house she had smiled and his heart had been gladdened. But now, outside, in the dark woods, he was angry at her.
The Jiro watching the forgotten events unfold looked at the young woman on the floor and wished that he had treated her more sweetly. What was he so mad at her for? As he turned around and ran from the woman Jiro fought to turn himself back around and apologize.
[If I was invisible]
[Wait… I already am]
But he couldn't… he had to run away and listen to the sound of her tears grow more distant… he couldn't comfort her.
[Saw your face in the crowd]
[I call out your name]
This memory too faded and looking around at his brothers and Reiko, Jiro sighed. He would never be able to remember his life before.
"Akira, I'll be you've never been in the woods this long before, now have you?" The ever-encouraging Reiko smiled down at Akira.
"Why do you keep talking to him? You know he won't say anything back." Ichiro snickered.
"Just because he doesn't talk doesn't mean he's any less of a child! I talk to him because I care. I don't want him to feel neglected."
"His father is chasing after him with an army of evil robots… I hardly call that neglect."
"Ichiro!" Jiro growled, "enough, let her comfort Akira,"
"Whatever you say little brother,"
As expected, Akira made no attempt to answer Reiko's question except to snuggle closer to her chest and look fearfully around at the forest.
"Well, Akira, you may not know what the forest is, but I remember some things about it," she laughed, "they aren't too pleasant though… I got lost once and wandered around for a few hours before my family found me," Reiko sighed dreamily, "it still was rather nice though… I remember hearing the birds sing and watching the sun come through the treetops… it was very calming, as scared as I was." She smiled down at Akira, "No need to worry though, we won't get lost here. Jiro, Ichiro, and Rei will take good care of us."
Jiro looked longingly at Reiko… she could remember things, why couldn't he? His poor memory had been smashed and there was little hope everything would ever come back to him.
As the hours passed walking through the forest, Jiro thought constantly about the young woman and her smile.
He thought of her dark eyes and the way they would shine whenever he looked at her.
He thought of the way she had walked in front of him and how her short hair fell, just barely caressing her rosy cheek.
He thought of the way her voice wavered when she had been crying the woods, and sung joyfully when they were in the house.
He thought of the good-night kiss she had given "Masaru". How she had looked at the young boy fondly lovingly.
He thought of how he could go on dreaming about her all day but would never be able to speak to her. No matter how hard he tried, he would never again be able to speak to her or to look at her again.
Inside, Jiro moaned in agony. All this… and he didn't even know her name! He would love to reach out and touch this nameless individual from his past but he couldn't. Imagining her face over and over could never bring her to him.
[You don't hear a sound]
[I keep tracing your steps]
Jiro ran through all of his thoughts that morning, but they were already vanishing, already disappearing from his crushed memory… running away and escaping his wishes.
What had that memory been of? He was starting to forget.
She… she had been watching her brother, and had seen him. She… cried? Did she cry? Yes, she had, and he had been sad until she had smiled. Something he had said had made her smile.
[Each move that you make]
[Wish I could read]
That gave him a sensational feeling – he could make her smile. And she looked beautiful when she smiled. Pausing a moment, Jiro thought a second time about the memory in the forest…
He had said something to make her cry then.
So what was he to her? Did she like him? This memory… was she someone who possibly had loved him? Or had she hated him? Jiro was overcome with emotion and utter confusion. Maybe this woman didn't like him at all; maybe thinking so much of her would end in being fruitless.
But, then again, even not knowing whether or not she like him… he was very sure that there had been a time, at least some time, that he had loved her. Or at least wanted to protect her… she had most certainly been someone that he cared for. Why else would she be the first thing his damaged mind thought of when he rested?
[What goes through your mind]
[Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life]
Giant sunbeams shone through the treetops above and beat on Jiro's back. He couldn't feel their heat, couldn't feel the warmth that was sliding through his jacket and cooking his skin. He couldn't feel anything, even though he knew that humans could. It made him wonder… why was it he couldn't feel the sunshine, and yet, got the feeling that the sun would never shine if he never saw her again?
[If I was invisible]
[And I could just watch you in your room]
It was a queer world he lived in.
[If I was invincible]
[I would make you mine tonight]
If he had been a human, he would have that wonderful power of remembering what he had forgotten. No "trash cans" or "delete" buttons in the human mind. No, they could bring things back. He imagined that sometimes a human may want to forget something, and find themselves unable to, and then wish that they themselves had a "delete" button. But Jiro knew, keeping memories was a lot more important than loosing them.
[If hearts were unbreakable]
Why, for example, was she crying that night? Maybe he had done something awful to her, one of those things that most humans would have wanted to forget. However, walking in the forest, he imagined that no matter what had happened, it was of more worth to know than to want to forget… even if it shattered him to pieces.
[And I could just tell you where I stand]
He wanted – needed – to find her.
Then he thought, with a sense of brilliance, maybe, just maybe…
She too, was trying to find him. Then, then he could find her. How many missing robots could there possibly be in the world?
[I would be the smartest man]
"Alright, let's call it a night," Ichiro's voice cut through Jiro's frantic reverie.
"About time," Reiko muttered under her breath, a weary Akira in her arms.
"But," Jiro protested, "we only just started,"
"Only just started?" Ichiro raised an eyebrow, "Little bro, look up man, it's dark."
Jiro did look up, and sure enough, little stars were beginning to bloom in the navy sky, the sun giving a last wink to the earth before it fell into slumber.
Had he really been thinking that long?
Ichiro, Rei, and Reiko were staring at him, nonplussed. Why was he so shocked? Jiro turned his gaze from the pre-night sky and looked bewilderedly at his companions.
"I guess it really is dark," he said to them; then, under his breath, "I'm loosing it." He walked stiffly over to a tree near Reiko and Akira, prepared to keep a night eye on them and slumped to the ground. As he watched Ichiro and Rei prepare a meager dinner for Reiko and Akira, he lost semi-consciousness and watched two scenes unfold. One, the simple dinner in the forest, and the other…
[If I was invisible]
He was on top of a heap of metal.
[Wait… I already am]
Footsteps made their way up his pile, occasionally a loose piece fell as the climber made their way towards him.
"How did I know you would be out here?" I was her, his past self slowly (ever so painfully slowly) turned to look at her. She smiled and ask if she could take a seat. All he could do was mutter a pathetic, "of course" and turn his gaze (no! Don't turn!) back to the setting sun.
[Reach out but you don't even see me]
He felt her gaze at his arm… wait… he had no arm! What was going on? Since when had he lost an arm?
"You should come in, I can fix that for you." She spoke softly, and Jiro smiled.
"I didn't know you could fix robots." (Ah! She knew he was a robot!)
"I learned… I thought that if I studied robotics then maybe I'd be able to understand my father's obsession a little more."
"Did you?" (Why are you asking such stupid questions? Tell her that you're not always going to be able to sit so close to each other! Tell her that it's torture not knowing her!)
"Erm… not really, I guess I just didn't have the same heart for it as he did," (Aha! Heart! Now we're talking! Tell her about your heart Jiro!)
[Even when I scream out]
But Jiro didn't hear any of these wishes; instead, he grabbed the jacket that was slung half-way across his shoulder and with his one arm wrapped it around the woman. She looked shocked.
"It's getting colder. Humans can get sick if their isn't anything to cover them."
She smiled, (smile! Yes! Just keep smiling!) and wrapped the jacket nearer to her body, "thank you."
[Baby you don't even hear me]
[I am nothing without you]
The two of them looked off into the distance, silently enjoying each other's presence, unaware of the frantic Jiro that was fighting to move his former body.
(Hug her dangit! Forget the jacket! Why did you give her the jacket when you could have held her?)
[Just a shadow passing through]
But all efforts were in vain. The two continued to blissfully stare off into space.
[If I was invisible]
"We should be getting inside," who's voice?… oh, his own. He was offering to go inside with her.
[And I could just watch you in your room]
"Alright, I'll get your arm fixed once we're in, sound okay?"
(Yes! It sounds wonderful when you speak!)
"Yeah, that'll work,"
(Smoothe reply… you're only going to be driven nuts by this same woman later! C'mon! Try to get a little more into the mood!)
[If I was invincible]
Again the smile… ah, wonderful smile… and they two of them began to walk out of the junkyard, oblivious to the Jiro that was crying out to their retreating backs.
[I would make you mine tonight]
("What's your name? Tell me! I need to know your name!")
[If hearts were unbreakable]
But it was too late… his vision was fading away. Ichiro and Rei's forms were becoming clearer, and to Jiro it was evident that he couldn't hope of seeing her again that night.
[And I could just tell you where I stand]
Jiro sighed; someday, he'd find her. He knew he would. And then…
[I would be the smartest man]
He wouldn't have to be afraid… he could be "human". He just knew he could, as long as she was around.
[If I was invisible]
[I'd make you mine]
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