Benny the Bunny
The world keeps spinning no matter what catastrophe happens in your life. It is uncaring as if we're just dust floating through an unforgiving cave. Bound by greed of dollars and cents, it's no wonder we had it coming.
SPOV
My Grandma forced me up from my slumber at eight this morning because she wanted me to go garage sailing with her. Regardless, I love my Grammy and I much prefer spending time with her, over my mom.
"Do you like this T-shirt Sammie?" Gram asked. It was white and had a pink sparkly butterfly smack dab in the middle with the words "Girly Girl" printed on it.
"It's a little young for me Gram." I mean I love her but she has horrible taste. I try to let her down easy but sometimes I just have to suck it up and let her buy the ugly shirt. It's not like I have to wear it. While I was silently ranting, Gram wondered off. Looking around at all the clothes, toys, and useless junk I spotted Gram at a table crammed with knick-knacks. I couldn't even imagine the horror if I saw someone I knew or if this was their house. Maybe I have too much pride or too much shame to be seen at a garage sale. I go up and stand next to her, all the while picking up a little porcelain bunny.
"Whatcha got there darling?" Gram says sweetly.
"Oh nothing." I say hastily placing the bunny down.
"It's kinda cute; it would look great in your room." Gram said picking it back up. I noticed the orange $.50 sticker, why not make her happy.
"Yeah, thanks Gram." I reply holding the bunny and inspecting it over. It looked old and the light brown paint was chipped in some places. The eyes were a darker brown with black irises. Around the face and inside the ears was painted white and also chipped revealing an un-shiny bumpy patch of the white porcelain. It was about the size of two palms and stood gently in your hands on its two back feet with its front paws curled into its body. Gram was right it is kind of cute. I sauntered up to the cash lady and homeowner and handed her the two sweaty quarters from my front pocket.
I met Gram at the car, a 2006 silver Denali. She calls it her "Garaging Vehicle" because with the back seats down there's no end to the possibilities of things that could fit back there. Hopping into the passenger seat I glance back and notice a blue flower pot with ladybugs painted on it and a stack of old worn books.
"That's it?" I ask slightly shocked.
"Well for this one, we've still got four more to hit!" she answered patting my knee enthusiastically. I groan inwardly but smile because it's good to see her so excited.
"Ok Gram, where to next?" better be excited or she'll nag me and ask me if I'm having a good time and of course I'll say yes. Four more painstaking garage sales and a truck load of useless junk later Gram dropped me home.
"See ya next Saturday, bright and early!" Gram shouted from the car.
"See ya!"
At last unlocking my front door I stumble inside with a grocery bag of used clothes in one hand while juggling my porcelain bunny in the other. Dropping my bag on the floor with the crackle of the plastic I reach for the light switch.
"Mom, I'm home!" I scream. No reply means she's out on a date or drunk in Vegas somewhere. It's alright though I prefer her gone and not smoking up the place. The dim chandelier hangs over the circular oak table. As I sit in an un-matching wobbly dining chair. The light bounces off all the right places of the figurine in my hands and makes it sparkle.
"You're not half bad." I whispered patting the bunny's head as if it were real. It reminds me of a baby bunny I found in my yard when I was little. It had gotten separated from its mother so I wanted to help it by making a home in the corner of my room. But when my mom caught sight of it she made me put the bunny out in the cold in the middle of the night. I was devastated and cried all night long. The next morning I went looking for it but I never saw it again. My mom can't throw the bunny in the cold this time.
The old cupboard door creaked as I opened it and reached for a snack. Letting my fingers graze over the bare wood inside. I decided to make a peanut butter and jelly instead. The knife in the grape jelly jar scraped the edges and I scooped out just enough. The peanut butter sticky as I chew clings to the inside of my mouth.
The room is dark and slightly warmer than the rest of the house as I enter with my used clothes, once again the bunny perched on my right hand. The door closes tight as if it's not hinged correctly. I grasp the light switch bringing bright light to the whole room. I almost like it better in the dark. Dirty clothes litter the carpet. The comforter lays strewn across the bed, sheets a jumbled mess that are almost never made. My dresser empty and peeling white paint flakes the space around it. I'm too lazy to clean up the clothes and put them in the dresser and closet. The walls once white turned yellow with age and small notes written on them leave reminders of little tasks I never accomplished. The bookcase holds the few books I've read over the years and some other knick-knacks thanks to Gram. I decide to add the bunny to the collection, but this one's special it deservers its own shelf above all the rest. I carefully place it directly in the middle of the top shelf.
"I think I'll call you Benny." I say to the bunny who just stares back peculiarly.
"You look like a Benny." I don't know what it is but I feel some sort of connection to this thing. It's strange because I feel like it knows me or is me.
Glancing at the clock, the red letters say it's time for iCarly. It takes two busses to get to Bushwell and with no money to buy a car it looks like I'm walking. There's enough time for me to walk plus I only have enough money for the bus trip home so I better save it.
When I arrive at Bushwell I'm already five minutes late, what else is new. Carly and Freddie will be angry like always, and worried that I got mugged or something, well at least Carly will be. That nub probably doesn't give a crap about me. I guess my unresolved feelings for him are the spark of my spiteful zingers directed towards him. Lately he's been a total jerk and I haven't hit him in weeks.
"Sam! Where have you been?" Carly screeched manically.
"Yeah, the show's about to start!" Freddie added. All he cares about is the stupid show.
"Well then let's do it!" I said a little too sarcastically, but whatever I don't care what he thinks. Not to knock the show because it's not the shows fault, but recently I feel like it's become mediocre and immature. I just haven't been feeling it lately. I think it may be time to throw in the towel as they say.
Anyway we did our usual after-show ritual by going to the Groovy Smoothie.
"Hey T-Bo I'll take a strawberry splat!" I yell as we walked through the double doors.
"Sure thing Sam!" he called back.
"You're paying." I demanded Freddie. He looked at me with a "don't-I-always" look. I just smirked. All I ever seem to do is smirk. It's what's expected of me. Who have I turned into? Because I don't recognize the girl inside the same outer façade, I haven't been feeling myself lately like the fiery spark inside me has burned out.
"You ok Sam? You seem a little distant." Carly questioned, wakening me from my stupor.
"I'm fine, just tired. I think I'll head home actually."
"Oh ok, feel better." You can guess who said that, yup Carly. Pulling the shiny bus tokens from my pocket I arrived after a short-lived run to the bus stop. It's already been dark for about an hour, just enough time for the creeps to emerge from their daylight alleys and cardboard boxes. I hope I didn't miss the last bus, and sure enough when I pull out my phone, indeed I missed it by a mere four minutes. Well, looks like I'm walking, this sucks, now I have to fend of the creeps without my butter sock. Walking usually takes about 20 minutes, not bad but with my extreme tiredness and unwillingness to move my legs, the odds are not in my favor. I really wish I had a car now; I don't like exercise or creepy guys.
"Hey, need a ride?" Normally when someone yells that at me it's the signal to run but that all too familiar voice stops me in my tracks. I look over and my eyes connect with his signature grin with a hint of arrogance. Without saying a word I grasp the door handle and jump in. Freddie's car is something old, I don't know the details but at least it runs that's all I'd ask for.
"How'd you know I'd be walking?" I ask breaking the comfortable silence. Only ten minutes to my house, I better get something out of him. His unpredictability is driving me crazy. One day he's a jerk, the next a total gentleman, I need to know where we stand.
"I noticed after you left that you missed the last bus." Every word he says I hang on tight as he shatters my walls once again. Glancing at me for a second is all it takes for me to want to kiss him senseless. But I have self-control and dignity, and I am way too terrified to make the first move again. The ball's in his court now, I have to have faith that he'll make the shot.
"Oh, well you didn't have to come and get me; I can take care of myself." I say defensively.
"Oh I know you can, but you said you were tired, figured you wouldn't want to walk." He knows me so well it's scary. Am I predictable? I never thought he'd be the one I was trying to figure out.
"Am I predictable?" I ask this time out loud. I've got nothing to lose I might as well see what happens.
"Not to the unknown." He answers. WTF is that supposed to mean.
"What is that supposed to mean?" All the while keeping his eyes on the road, I notice a small smile grace his perfect lips.
"It just means that I know you better than most people. I'm sure you know me better than I know myself." He chuckled lightly.
"No, lately I don't know you at all." I say a tad hurt.
"What do you mean?"
"Sometimes you're a jerk, like at the pear store. And other times you're dorky and nubbish, like right now." I wasn't gonna say he was a gentleman.
"How am I being a dork right now?" he says laughing and taking his hands off the wheel to point to himself. I laughed too; I knew we couldn't have a serious conversation. Oh well this was fun, like old times as we slowly approached my house. I could tell he was driving slower than the speed limit. He put the car in park and I opened my door.
"You're just a dork all the time." I say grinning. I closed the door and started walking up to my front door.
"Well at least I'm your dork!" He yelled out his window.
"Thanks for the ride!" I answered.
Closing the front door behind me I peer out the window and watch him driving away. What did he mean by "at least I'm your dork"? I wish he was mine but he's not anymore. My room looks the same as always. The bunny I had forgotten about hours ago sits on the top of my bookcase. I wish it could talk and then it could help me with my problems and do my homework. I think the sleep deprivation is getting to me.
The incessant monotone ringing of my annoying alarm clock is what wakes me up. I must've forgotten to turn it off after using it yesterday. My rage boils over when the snooze button is broken. I grab the clock tightly and yank it out of the socket and hurl it at the wall. The loud crash fills the room and when I hear something glass break I'm suddenly wide awake. I jump out of bed and see the bunny lying on the floor or shall I say heap of clothes with a missing ear. I pick it up instantly I'm searching for the missing rabbit ear. Finding it across the room by the clock I have the urge to throw it again. Why do I feel so crushed? It was only a $.50 bunny I got at a garage sale. I went into full fix-it mode. I scavenged all over my house but couldn't find any glue, at all! I bet Carly has glue, I was thinking of going to her house right now but I realized it's eight in the morning and it'll still be broken in a few hours, so I decided to go back to bed.
Right now it's raining and I'm glad I saved those bus tokens because I'd have hypothermia by the time I got to Carly's, if I didn't. The bunny and its broken limb are packed safely in my backpack wrapped in a bathroom towel. Thank god the rain subsided for the minute it took me to hurry through the doors into Bushwell Plaza.
"Carly! I need super glue!" I yell a bit frantically as I rush into her dry home.
"Why?" What? Why? Don't ask questions, this is serious.
"Because I need it to fix something"
"Try looking in the drawer by the sink" she pointed. I went to the drawer but found nothing but spare screws and a mini first aid kit.
"You don't have any." I said simply defeated.
"What are you trying to fix?" Carly questioned. I opened my bag to show her as I unwrapped the towel and handed her my broken treasure.
"Aw, it's cute Sam. How did this happen?" she eyed me knowingly that I had either thrown or hit something.
"I um threw my alarm clock and accidently knocked it off the shelf." I said sheepishly.
"Mhmh, hey maybe Freddie has super glue."
"Oh yeah, great idea!" I said with hope once again. I grabbed the bunny from her hands and ran across the hall. Without knocking I went straight into his house. Since when have I ever knocked? It feels good like me again. I smile hoping he has super glue of course.
"Hey Fredward! Got any super glue?" I yell once fully in the apartment.
"Oh hi Sam, so nice of you to stop by." He answered sarcastically as he stepped into my view from the living room.
"Oh shut up, do you have super glue?" I say getting to the point.
"No, you really think my mom would let me have super glue with all the dangerous things that could happen." I laughed, his mom really is a freak, but now where can I get super glue, I guess I could go to the store except it's raining and knowing Seattle it might not stop for a while.
"What do you need it for anyway?" Frednerd asked.
"Just to fix something."
"What is it?" he's really not gonna let this go. So I opened my backpack and pulled out once again the bunny wrapped tightly in the towel. I unwrapped it and handed it to him like I did with Carly. I noticed he was looking it over intently after not speaking for a minute or ten. Finally he looked up and he was smiling that adorable smile that I love.
"I think it's better without the ear." He stated confidently throwing the porcelain ear over his shoulder and it shattering all over the hard wood floor.
"Hey!" I yelled.
"It gives it more character, I like it better this way." He said calmly like he knew I wasn't gonna pummel him and I wasn't because after thinking about it for a second I realized that he was right. Now the bunny isn't perfect but it never was. Now it's even more like me because the bunny is missing a piece of itself just like me when Freddie and I broke up I lost a piece of myself too. It all makes sense now because I was only me when I was with him because he is the one holding that crucial piece of me. So I did what my heart told me to do and I grabbed his shoulders (hey this is familiar) and kissed him hard on the lips (who cares what I said about not making the first move again), except unlike last time, he kissed back gently and wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my tighter against him, while still holding the bunny with the other. Kissing him is like heaven and I feel whole again, it's mind-blowing. I pulled away to look into his beautiful brown eyes. He removed his arm from my waist and held the bunny in between us.
"Imperfectly imperfect." He said gently with a sweetness the makes me melt. He put the bunny on the table and grasped both of my hands in his strong but soft and warm ones. He gazed into my eyes and smiled, when he looks at me I still feel the same spark and my fiery flame has come ablaze because of him.
"I love you." He says simply grinning wonderfully.
"I love you too." the instant response to those words is all it took for us to be us again and this time I'm not letting him get away.
Ten years later
Laying here with my husband snoring lightly next to me with his arm draped over my waist and the soft pitter patter of the rain on the roof of our petite one bedroom house I am relaxed and so very content with my life. It's all because my Grandma made me go garage sailing that Saturday morning. It's because I found a $. 50 porcelain treasure and named him Benny. It's also because I threw my alarm clock at the wall angrily and broke the bunny's ear. It's because Carly didn't have any super glue and because Freddie didn't either. I have a wonderful life and a loving husband because of a porcelain bunny.
"Thanks Benny… for everything." I whispered to the very same bunny I've had for ten years that's been sitting on my bedside table ever since.