Title: Sinfully Delicious
Author: Diablogyrl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius/Remus , Sirius/others
Rating: R
Disclaimer: No infringement intended; unlike my other stories, you can actually tell
Summary: Finally, the little guy gets the hottie! Well, kinda after everyone else, but it's the principle, right?
Warnings: Weeelllll. The original story was long, graphic, and 75% slash, but fanfiction just flushed that idea down the toilet. I'm not all that happy, but I understand why they did it and it's a good START. When the get the filtering system in, it'll all be back to normal. Don't panic though. So still SLASH, not really graphic (I hope), and the plot remains, whatever it may have been.                                                                        Spoilers: None, I think.

***

Sinfully Delicious

The holiday break was just one day away, and James had already left for the National Quidditch tryouts. Peter had a bad case of pneumonia and was holed up in the hospital wing.

***

"Hogwarts to Sirius, come back please!"

Sirius started at hearing the odd phrase.

"Since when did Hogwarts start speaking through you?" he asked with a faintly snobbish air.

Remus snorted in amusement. "Mental. Bloody mental, you are. What could you have been thinking about so hard that you just missed Evelyn drop you a note?" he asked with a grin.

"She did?" Sirius' contemplative mood disappeared to be instantly replaced by his normal nymphomanic desires.

"Insatiable," Remus muttered under his breath, not at all disapproving.

Sirius quickly read the scribbled note and whisked the parchment away, probably to join the countless others in their dormitory. "Remus, darling, I'll meet you in Transfiguration class." He started to rise from his spot on the bench.

"But that's not for another hour!" Remus replied. "What are going to do that will take that long?"

"Yes dear, but our sweet Miss Eve wants to do a little role playing," Sirius answered, already a tale tell gleam in his eyes. He sauntered off towards the Hufflepuff table, all the eyes in the Great Hall feasting on his radiating sexuality. Oh, that man, Remus thought with a tinge of longing. Being with Sirius was like making mud; take dirt, add water, and mix. The unsuspecting, or more often than not, suspecting victim was the 'dirt' and Sirius, the 'water.' And if they weren't a puddle of mud by the time he got through with them, well… Come to think of it, that had yet to actually happen. Sirius attracted people like food attracted flies, and Remus would bet his wand that he got everyone he sets his, er… mind, to.

The Hufflepuff table looked on with amusement as Sirius swaggered right up to Eve and asked some inane question concerning a portrait four floors away. With a knowing smile, she held out her hand and offered to accompany him. The whole hall cheered as Sirius gallantly accepted, leading her out with a proprietary hand at her waist.

Remus squirmed slightly, thinking unwillingly of Sirius' talented mouth, and wondering if Eve would be able to walk in to Transfiguration.

***

Two minutes after the bell rang, Sirius strode nonchalantly to his seat, looking perfectly groomed, the only alteration in his appearance from this morning being that his hair was neatly pulled back. And it was wet.

"Mister Black. You are late. I will be taking points from Gryffindor for your tardiness," Professor McGonagall had stated, trying hard not to smirk. Remus giggled behind his hand. Even the teachers knew what was going on, he mused.

"Professor, with all due respect I think you should reconsider. After all, two minutes, it's nothing, what with the crowd coming out of the hall after lunch, and then the long trip up to the dorms, not to mention those tricky staircases, and, oh, of course Peeves, the little-"

"Mister Black! I get the point." She was presented with Sirius' most charming smile, and that was, needless to say, enough to pull a planet out of its orbit. She couldn't hold in a small smile. "Very well, Mister Black. Point proven. Don't let it happen again." After his quick nod of agreement, she turned to the board to begin the day's lesson.

Sirius turned to Remus and winked, conveying the message that Eve was indeed a puddle of mud somewhere, conspicuously absent from class.

***

The class greeted her with loud whoops and cheers, as fifteen minutes later, Evelyn stumbled through the door. Face flushed, hair sticking out in a million different directions, clothes rumpled, and a grin from ear to ear, she slowly made her way to her desk at the front of the class. Wincing as she sat, she elicited more cheers from various onlookers as she tried to find a comfortable position to sit in.

"Miss Patterson! You are more than fifteen minutes late! Explain yourself!" Professor McGonagall was annoyed at the outburst from the class, as it caused her to become distracted and turn her desk into a two-headed cat.

"Forgive me, Professor McGonagall, I fell down the stairs and landed on my tailbone. My sincerest apologies," Eve said, composed, obviously having thought of her answer beforehand. McGonagall shook her head.

"Quiet down class. A fall is nothing to titter over," she eyed the class, throwing out a challenge; Who's going to give her away? Even to her, it was as plain as the nose on her face she hadn't fallen, at least not down some stairs. Oh, these kids, she thought bemusedly to herself. She shot a quick look at Sirius, who gave her an audacious wink. She sighed loudly. The class collectively snickered.

On to chapter 2… Whenever that comes.