So you're going to join Lagoon Company? Guess Dutch knows best but…..you're going to need my help. Here's some rules to follow that will help keep you alive.
1-Don't piss Revy off
Seriously you can trust me on this one. We're here closest friends and we've all come very close to being shot. Avoid doing this at all cost.
2-Don't Touch my Electrical Equipment
I may not be as scary as Revy but still I can be if the mood takes me. Don't touch.
3-Stay Away from my girlfriend too
Yes I have one and if you make a move on her you will suffer for it. Even if she invites you.
4-Make sure you pull your weight.
Dutch doesn't appreciate laziness
5-Do not try to seduce Rock
That's how the last noob died (Remember rule 1)
6-Do not Try to Seduce Revy.
Let's just say Revy's idea of romance involves a lot of Alcohol, people getting shot and open fires. How Rock is still alive I have no idea.
7-Do not Imply Rock and Revy are romantically involved when she can hear you.
While they totally are/will be she doesn't like to admit it. She'll get embarrassed and then she gets mad. Just don't.
8-Do not try to set up Rock and Revy on a date.
The last time that was tried that 'Date' led to the yellow flag and a significant proportion of the city being destroyed. We're not sure what happened but after seeing the bill me and Dutch agreed never to do it again
9-You can't outdrink Rock and Revy . Don't try.
This is more for the sake of your liver. Those two are superhuman drinkers. Even Dutch can't compete.
10-Avoid anyone dressed as a maid
If you see a maid just run away. Those girls are scary.
11- The church is not a safe place.
Everyone at that church is heavily armed.
12- The police are not going to help you
Ringing the police in a crisis is useless. You may as well ring the pizza guy.
13- Do not steal Revy's Pizza
Revy is EXTREMELY protective of her Pizza and will defend it.
14- if Revy buys you an item of clothing make sure you thank her and wear it.
Manners cost nothing and save you from bullets and she takes it personally if you don't. I still wear the one she bought me. Rock is the only exception for obvious reasons.
15- Before you wear anything Revy has given you outside the office examine it carefully
Some of things Revy has bought in the past have had a picture of a hand giving the finger or unintentionally insulting things about specific races. If you have annoyed her she may do this deliberately. It's still safer than not wearing it but just be careful and use it at the right times.
16- Do not annoy Rock
Just because he doesn't carry a gun doesn't mean he isn't dangerous.
17- Do not try to stop anyone in this city from smoking.
You really don't want to see any of those highly skilled killers with Nicotine withdrawal.
18- Don't trust children.
Any kids that survive this city are dangerous
19- Learn to defend yourself
Lagoon company will try to defend you if the situation go badly but there are no guarantees.
20- You are not funny
One bad joke can lead to you being the punchline. It's just not worth the risk