I dont own supernatural... unfortunatly
The road seemed to hum beneath the wheels of the impala. Dean and Sam had spent the last 100km in complete silence; it didn't seem to be going to break anytime soon. A violent fury radiated from his older brother that made Sam feel like curling into a ball, it had been like this for weeks, ever since that demon in Texas. Something had happened to Dean that had made him furious not at Sam, that Sam could handle if he where angry with him then at least he could apologise and they could fight and Dean would be himself again, his good old smart-ass self. But the livid anger, the vicious hatred seemed to be pointed inward, and he knew it was tearing him apart, Sam knew it would kill his brother but he also knew that Dean would rather die then burden him.
Dark troubled eyes stared over the impala's steering wheel, white knuckled hands gripped that wheel as if trying to imbed themselves within it. Everything about his demeanour said 'don't talk to me, don't touch me'.
It had been dark for hours by the time they finally stopped, at some crummy little motel out of Pennsylvania. Without a word Dean went and paid for the room, he came back tossed the key to Sam and stalked off to a bar across the road.
Dean slumped onto a bar stool and motioned for the bar tender. How could he live with himself, how could he ever admit to his brother, whom he loved more then life that he had as good as killed Jess he had, had the chance to save his brother from all that pain, give him the life he always wanted and he had said no. So selfish was he that he was willing to sacrifice his brother's happiness for his own. He gulped down the whisky trying to drown out the sounds that haunted him. His brother screaming for Jess as she burnt in his dreams, crying alone in the room when he thinks Deans not around. Another gulp of whisky to drown the memory of Sam crying as he placed flowers upon her grave. Dean clenched his eyes shut but nothing could block the memory of the demon. "I give you the time over, the chance to save your brother from heartache and you do nothing" her eyes glowing red with approval "thinking of yourself Dean? Thinking of the agony of being alone again?"
Sam faked sleep when he heard Dean enter, he knew that was what Dean wanted it wasn't until he heard Dean sobbing that shocked he turned around. Dean was slumped against the door tears streaming down his face "I'm so sorry Sammy"