Hello, I vanished again for a while, didn't I? Sorry. I think I'm going to have a complete upheaval of most of my stories with multiple chapters, their quality isn't good enough and they need working on to be continued. I will simply start again with most of them, either reposting up to a point of the old chapters that I like, if any, and work from there, or starting a rewrite from scratch. What do you guys think? PMs are open if you want to let me know.

I'm also working on betaing a fic that iwanita and I have been working on for an age and hope to get the first chapter of that up soon.

I'm on a course until March but should be more free to write after that.

Thanks to all those who have left reviews, comments, kudos etc on other fics, and I hope to respond to comments soon.

Also, looking for a beta if anyone is interested?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the starter of this new story. Nothing belongs to me and I make nothing from this work.

I was loyal, you know? Once upon a time…

Prologue- Megatron's Home

Starscream had been loyal once, painfully so, devoted even. But now as he padded down the Nemesis's corridors, his "Master" newly returned, he couldn't quite remember it; or, on the rare times he did dig deep enough through his memory banks to find a thought that old, the Seeker scolded himself his naivety. The SIC had all but loved the hardened Warlord, once upon a time, but there had been a bad day, the day of his first beating, and the flier had never… quite gotten over it.

Could never, quite, let it go.

The shock and the hurt and the betrayal. The harsh, unforgivable words the gladiator had thrown at him, most reinforced, pounded into his slighter frame, with fists and pedes, as if to make sure that every time Starscream brushed a section of armour thereafter he'd be reminded of a self-esteem shattering insult. So he not only could not forgive, the winged mech couldn't forget either.

Even though he knew Megatron hadn't really meant it- the flier hadn't been the only one having a bad day that orn, the plan had fallen apart at every move they made- and the larger mech had been kinder than usual to him for a while afterwards. But still, the verbal wounds had slashed deeper than Starscream found himself willing to try to heal, simply paving over the cracks in his self-worth as best he could.

And he nursed the resentment that had taken root the moment the first blow landed as a lioness would its cub until it had overshadowed his loyalty altogether, and still it grew. Even now, millennia later, it still mutated and evolved, had long surpassed hatred.

Made all the worse as Starscream was still poisoned with love for the Warlord, a part of him he could never deny aching for the larger mech's approval, his praise and… affection. And it was this hope that ruined him every time; that caused the Seeker to almost consciously sabotage himself in each act of treachery. And, of course, with each treacherous plan he initiated against the Warlord, and the more Megatron… corrected him in return, the worse their relationship had grown over their long years of running the Cause together.

But…

But it had almost seemed different when Megatron came back this time… Just for a few moments, just long enough to give Starscream hope that perhaps, just perhaps, they could start again. They had been apart so long after all and the Seeker, without the anxiety of the silver mech bearing down on him all the time and the anger that had been renewed in him each day, had all but forgotten the worst of his rebellious ideas, focussing on impressing everyone, showing he wasn't as useless as they had all thought. It had all, all but fizzled out inside him, after so long alone.

Starscream had found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, when Megatron came back and saw the efforts he'd made, they could begin to let the past stay where it belonged.

The first humiliation had happened within the hour, the first thinly veiled threat following moments later, and the first beating had battered the Seeker's frame by the end of the first day of the Decepticon Lord's return.

Yes, their Master was home indeed.

Thanks for reading, what do you think?