A/N: So I have no idea where this came from but it did. It's on the sadder side. I had to take a few breaks from writing it to calm myself.
Also, if you haven't already, I'm writing a muli chaptered, somewhat dark and angsty fic that I'd love for you to check out. It's called '21st Century Breakdown' and the fifth chapter will be up over the weekend.
Lessthanthree
Katie
Something had gone wrong. They did not know exactly what and as far as they could tell, it was nobody's fault but that still did not change the reality that something in that little bundle of cells had gone terribly and horribly and irreversibly wrong. They had said something about spinal damage, the inability to walk, a hole in the heart, underdeveloped lungs, brain damage, and probable death within mere hours. They said this all, the men in the dark blue scrubs, while placing the little girl in Kurt's arms and the adoption papers and birth certificate forms into Blaine's.
Blaine filled out the required information in silence, tucked away in the corner of the waiting room while his husband carefully introduced their new daughter to the awaiting family. Most of them said goodbye to her as well. Blaine had to constantly wipe away the tears in his eyes to avoid wetting the paperwork and ruining it, forcing him to start again. It already seemed to be taking an eternity and his greatest fear would be that the little girl would die before she was officially made theirs.
They walked out of the hospital as three when just seven hours earlier they had entered as two. Kurt sat in the back with the little girl bundled in his arms as Blaine drove. A car seat seemed futile at this point and would only cause the fragile infant too much stress. Elizabeth was best off with her daddy.
They had gone through with her name. Kurt had wanted to name his daughter after his late mother from the time he was a teenager if not before. Blaine had agreed happily to the suggestion, genuinely fond of the name but also too fond of his husband to object. When they were informed of her ill fate, there had been a brief discussion on whether to or not to proceed with it knowing they would not get to use it for more than a day. It was a shameful thought that neither would admit to having but so were the others that whipped through the boy's heads about the fortune they had spent for the surrogacy and how realistically, they would not be able to afford to try again. After seeing her bright blue eyes look up at them with such wonder though, the new father's silently agreed that it would be a dishonor to the little girl who would be given so little time to know their love in any other form. Blaine had been the one to write her name out, Elizabeth May Anderson, on the birth certificate and never had he printed letters of the alphabet with such care.
It was late by the time they arrived to the two bedroom flat they had purchased three years prior in mid-Manhattan. They had yet to find a chance to eat and so Blaine set about reheating the pasta left over from the previous night while Kurt gave the newest addition to the family a little tour of the apartment. The last room they entered was the nursery. He and Blaine had spent hours over the past nine months preparing their spare bedroom. After painting it pink, then yellow, then a different shade of pink, they had finally settled on a soft green. Kurt smiled to himself when he remembered the day they were applying the second pink to the small room and he and his husband had ended up splattering each other with more of the vibrant colour than they had the wall. It had been an accident at the beginning but by the time the collapsed on the tarp covered carpet in fits of laughter, every streak on skin or cloth had been intentional.
Kurt walked the baby around the room showing her the various stuffed animals and toys that family and friends had bought for her. He saved the four siting in her crib for last. They were the ones that meant the most because they were the ones that had once been owned and were still greatly loved by her two fathers. There was a bear with a little red bowtie sitting primly beside the golden lab puppy with the big brown eyes and a lion cub with a golden shaggy mane accompanied by a fuzzy baby penguin. Kurt did not know what would become of the other things that filled the room but he knew that those four would remain with them forever.
After eating in relative silence, the boys took their baby to their room and huddled up in the warm, comforting bed. The baby had not cried once since she was put in Kurt's arms at the hospital. Her body was already shutting down. Blaine put a movie on so they had an outlet in case they needed one but the gaze of both men lay mostly on Elizabeth.
"Do you want to hold her?" Kurt asked quietly, looking away from the little girl for the first time in what seemed like hours. Blaine shook his head while keeping his wet eyes on his daughter.
"You look good with her," was his only reply before changing the subject. "I can't believe how attached I am to her. I mean, I supposed it would be this way but to actually feel it is something different."
"It's crazy, isn't it? Is it bad to say that if this had to happen, I'm glad it's now before I fall even further in love with her?" His voice was on the brink of cracking with tears.
"No," Blaine replied simply. "She's too little to know what's happening and she's cuddled up safe with her daddies instead of alone somewhere or in the hospital. This seems kind of ideal, considering."
"She does look peaceful, doesn't she?" Blaine only made a soft noise of agreement but Kurt did not need anything more.
They sat like for the duration of the movie, periodically conversing between themselves, sometimes including Elizabeth. Kurt had a lengthy discussion with her on the merit of the movie Blaine had chosen as it contained copious amounts of swearing and a very intense sex scene. Blaine had simply looked on fondly at the two, wishing he could witness more moments like these where his little family teased him as if he were not even in the room. He had to laugh, a genuine laugh, when his husband shielded their daughters closed eyes from the nudity on screen. It made him feel good to laugh. It would be a happy memory he could take from this, covet, hold high when they would eventually decide to try and start a family again. It would allow him to sleep tonight and get him through the phone calls the next morning.
Once the movie ended, the boys contented that it was time for sleep. It was only ten thirty but their day had been the most emotionally exhausting either had ever lived. They lay down, curled into each other, Elizabeth in Kurt's arms between them.
"Blaine," Kurt whispered calmly. "Are you sure you don't want to hold her. It's fine but I-I just don't want you to regret anything."
"I'm sure. Thank-you though," his husband replied softly while slipping a finger into the little girls gripping fist. "Goodnight Lizzy. Daddy loves you, baby girl," Blaine whispered as he pressed a light kiss to her head. He felt his husband reach out to wipe the tears from his face.
"I'm glad you're with me, Blaine. I couldn't do this without you."
"I couldn't either. I love you, KK."
"Love you too."
They fell asleep to the comforting sound of their daughter's final breaths.
A/N: I just made myself a tumblr so if you're interested…..