It's a Wonderful Carnival:

Chapter One: What You Can't Have

Kiyone had known Mihoshi had been slacking off, but she'd never expected it to affect her rank. Even though she'd enjoyed rubbing it in to Mitsuki, Kiyone had gone out of her way to do her work, and Mihoshi's as well. She'd imagined that Mihoshi would be demoted sooner or later and that she would keep on her way up.

She was wrong.

'Demoted?' asked Kiyone.

'It isn't you.' said the Detective Sergeant. 'You must understand Kiyone, Mihoshi is… well… impossible. She would never have passed the entrance exams in ordinary circumstances. But her family is well connected. To fire her would be politically troublesome.'

'But what does that have to do with me?!' said Kiyone. 'I mean… I've done all my work, and most of hers.'

'Well…' the detective sergeant paused, 'the truth is that someone needs to mind Mihoshi. By herself, she is a danger to herself and others.'

'But anyone can do that!' said Kiyone. 'Why should I lose my promotion because of her?'

'You do yourself a disservice.' said Detective Sergeant. 'The last person who was Mihoshi's partner had a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum.'

'But-'

'There is something else,' said Detective Sergeant. 'Tenchi Masaki is a member of the Juraian Royal Family. He has in his company a large number of very powerful people. Two Princesses of Jurai. Ryoko the Space Pirate, even the legendary warrior Yosho.

'You understand that we can't let that kind of power go unobserved.'

'Tenchi isn't going to pull anything.' said Kiyone 'He had the chance to rule Jurai and gave it up to go back to school. He doesn't have any ambition at all.'

'Exactly,' said Detective Sergeant 'you know that because you are well familiar with him. You have an opportunity to act as our eyes and ears in the Masaki Household. You won't raise any suspicions.'

'You want me to spy on them?' guessed Kiyone.

'Not spy, just observe and tell us anything we really need to know.' said Detective Sergeant 'We'll be counting on you.'

'But why can't Mihoshi do it on her own?!' asked Kiyone.

Dead silence.

'Right, she'd blab the mission right away.' said Kiyone.

And that was the end of her promotion.

It wasn't the end of her humiliation, however. As Kiyone made her way down the halls, she was approached by the red-headed Mitsuki, who looked absurdly smug. 'So Kiyone, I heard you got demoted. Tough break huh?'

'Shut up.' said Kiyone.

'It sure is a shame you have Mihoshi as your partner.' said Mitsuki 'Otherwise you might be on your way to the top.'

Kiyone ignored her and kept walking. Mitsuki pursued. 'Oh well, I guess being part of a Prince of Jurai's harem isn't so bad. Maybe you and Mihoshi could actually get some use out of your police uniforms. Or does he prefer more traditional-'

Harem. That was going to be her legacy. Becoming part of Tenchi Masaki's harem. Not known as one of the greatest cops in history as she'd dreamed of. Not for catching the infamous space pirate Ryoko as she'd almost done. Just a pretty face clad in a skintight jumpsuit chasing the favor of a boy. A boy who had either legendary self-discipline or no attraction to the opposite sex.

Kiyone turned around and punched Mitsuki across the face. The other woman hit the ground like a ton of bricks, and Kiyone stalked off. It was an immensely satisfying moment, but it didn't fix anything.

She found Mihoshi packing her things merrily. The ditzy dark-skinned blonde looked like she was heading to a carnival. Not being sent off to the space boonies. 'Well don't you look cheerful.' said Kiyone in a dead tone.

'Uh huh,' said Mihoshi, 'I can't wait to see Tenchi and Ryoko and all the others again. It's going to be so great; I just can't wait! We're going home!'

Home. Mihoshi thought of it as home. For Kiyone it had been a mission. A place she stayed temporarily before her career moved on. A place she'd become fond of. But it had never supposed to be home. That was why she hadn't acted on the affections which she held Tenchi in beyond a few winks.

'Just… just get your things together.' said Kiyone. 'We have a schedule to make.'

Kiyone hardly noticed the trip back to earth. She was on autopilot the whole time. It was over. Her career was well and truly dead. Oh, she could conceivably get promoted by acting as a spy for the Galaxy Police, but she knew she wasn't going to do that.

Everything she'd worked for all this time, gone. Again.

What next?

Back to their apartment, it hadn't changed much. Back to working and trying to hold jobs while Mihoshi screwed them up. Back to singing karaoke songs badly for a price, she couldn't pay. Back to… nothing. Nothing at all.

As Kiyone unpacked her things, she felt more depressed than ever. She needed time alone. No, she needed a drink. Grabbing her wallet, she picked it up and went to the door. 'Mihoshi, can you finish unpacking for me? I'm going out.'

'Can I come?' asked Mihoshi.

'No.' hissed Kiyone, before opening the door.

It opened to reveal the smiling faces of Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Washu, and Sasami. Tenchi waved. 'Hey Kiyone, Washu detected your ship and we figured we'd come and seet how you were doing.'

'Oh right,' said Kiyone, remembering her manners. 'I uh… come inside.'

It was like a scene which had happened near the beginning of her residence on Earth. Tenchi and all the girls crowded around a round table, eating snacks. Tenchi seemed in a good mood in particular. 'You know it is really nice to see you both again.' he said 'Things got dull for a while there.'

'Well, what's important is that we're all back together now.' said Ayeka.

'Right, yes.' How to say that she would rather be anywhere but here without offending them? It wasn't possible.

'Kiyone and I were getting so sick of all the paperwork we had to do.' said Mihoshi. 'And we didn't get to chase bad guys or anything.'

'Speak for yourself.' said Kiyone.

'Anyway, it's Christmas time coming around soon.' said Tenchi. 'Grandpa and I were wondering if you might want to come up to our house to celebrate the holidays.'

'I'm looking up all kinds of Christmas recipes.' said Sasami.

'And I'm going to create the greatest decorations ever seen in the universe!' proclaimed Washu.

'Wow, that sounds great!' said Mihoshi. 'What do you think, Kiyone?'

Kiyone hesitated to answer. 'I… I don't…'

'And I've invested in a really nice outfit Tenchi.' said Ryoko, crowding against Tenchi's shoulder. 'Just wait till you get to see me as Miss Clause.'

'Stop that Ryoko!' said Ayeka. 'Leave Tenchi alone!'

'We just got this apartment.' said Kiyone, hardly able to work up anger.

She was ignored. 'Oh, why not?' asked Ryoko. 'After all, Tenchi and I are much closer than you ever were.'

'Ryoko could you-' began Kiyone.

'Why you…' Ayeka was fuming. 'I won't allow it! This is the last straw!'

It was as if Kiyone could see the rest of her life unfolding before her eyes. And suddenly she didn't care about anything anymore. She stood up and stalked over to the door without a word. 'I'm done.'

Kiyone slammed the door behind her. She didn't stop or look back as she stumbled down the stairs, ignoring the cold. She tripped as she did so and fell down the stairs to hit the pavement hard. For a moment she lay there stunned. But she forced herself to stand and wiped the blood from her mouth and ran off into the night.

She couldn't take this anymore. She was done. She wasn't going to sit around and wait while Ryoko and Ayeka had yet another showdown. While Tenchi did nothing to stop it. It wasn't like they were the ones who paid the bills, but that never stopped them.

Was it her or was it getting colder?

It didn't matter. Nothing had changed. The same old town, the same old horrible part-time jobs, the same damn everything. Kiyone was the straight man in a pathetic comedy harem routine, and no matter what she did she couldn't escape it.

No, no she could quit. Resign her commission and leave it all behind. Start all over again. But judging from the dimension tuner, Mihoshi would just follow her. She was stuck. No matter what happened, she ended up going back to Mihoshi. It was all Mihoshi's fault!

Kiyone found herself standing at the edge of a pier with the wind in her hair. The water below was churning heavily, and she looked at the ocean she had come to like. She'd come to like it in a world without Mihoshi, but even the dimension tuner hadn't been able to grant that.

She was stuck in limbo: no career, no prospects. Working part-time jobs to pay the rent. Her career was over before it had begun. She wasn't going anywhere from here, and now she was just stuck. Maybe it would be better if-

'Hey uh, could you not do that?' asked a voice.

Kiyone turned around and saw a black haired girl in a schoolgirl outfit. She had a red ribbon in her hair, and she was looking at Kiyone with a mixture of concern and pity. That annoyed Kiyone. '…I'm sorry, who are you?'

'Oh right, um introductions.' she said. 'I am Sakuya, your guardian angel.'

It didn't surprise Kiyone nearly as much as she thought it would. Then again it was far from the weirdest thing which had happened in her career. Still, she was surprised by one thing, 'Don't angels normally have wings?'

'Why does everyone always ask that?' asked Sakuya in resignation. 'Look, I haven't earned my wings yet okay. I'm working on it.'

'Right, okay.' said Kiyone 'What do you want?'

'Well you not jumping off a pier would be a start.' said Sakuya.

'Don't tell me what to do.' snapped Kiyone. 'I'll do what I want with my own life.'

'How do you think Mihoshi will react?' asked Sakuya.

'Who cares about Mihoshi!' roared Kiyone. 'My entire life has revolved around her since I got assigned her as a partner! I can't escape her, and I can't do anything with my life as long as she weighs me down!'

'Well, what about your other friends?' asked Sakuya. 'How do you think Tenchi, and Ryoko, and Ayeka and Sasami will react when you're found floating face down by a pier?'

'I don't care!' Kiyone shot back. 'I didn't join the galaxy police because I wanted to make friends. And I sure didn't join because I wanted to babysit Mihoshi for the rest of my life! I wanted a career! I wanted to be great, to have people look up to me, to throw criminals in jail and be respected!' She slumped in exhaustion. 'I wanted… a lot of things.

'And I didn't get any of them.'

'And what do you want now?' asked Sakuya.

Kiyone considered that. 'I wish…'

'Yes?' asked Sakuya.

'I wish that I'd never even met Mihoshi!' roared Kiyone.

The snow stopped. The waters shifted. The sky changed. Sakuya looked at a watch. 'Done.'

'What?' said Kiyone.

'Wish granted.' said Sakuya 'You have never so much as met Mihoshi. Reality should be altering in three… two… one…' The world didn't seem all that different. Then Kiyone reached up and realized her lip was no longer bloody.

'Care to have a look at what the world you left behind?' asked Sakuya.

'What do you mean world I left behind?' asked Kiyone. 'I didn't wish never to be born.'

'Oh right, damn!' said Sakuya. 'Um, let's uh…' She paused and drew out a book titled "Angels Handbook." Flipping through it rapidly, she eventually tossed it away.

'What?' said Kiyone.

'Well I mean this is the part where we go on a tour of this town and earth and stuff. Then you see what the world would be like without you having met Mihoshi but um…' Sakuya paused. 'It looks like earth would be pretty much the same. Oh, I've got a change. Here, I'll show you. This is what the restaurant you work at would be like if you had never met Mihoshi…'

The world around them shifted, and Kiyone found herself and Sakuya sitting at a diner. A beautiful brown haired woman appeared. 'Hello, welcome, may I take your order?'

'I'll have a coffee with cream and sugar, and Kiyone will have an expresso.' said Sakuya.

'Right, that's one coffee with cream and sugar and an expresso.' she said.

'Excuse me,' said Sakuya, 'how long have you been working here?'

'Oh me,' said the girl, 'um, a little less than a year. I almost didn't get the job, but then the person who had this position before me quit and disappeared without a trace. Kind of eerie, actually.' She paused. 'I'll go get your orders.'

Sakuya looked to Kiyone triumphantly, who looked at her flatly.

'I don't get it.' said Kiyone.

'Hmm?' said Sakuya. 'What do you mean?'

'Am I supposed to view it as a bad thing that Mihoshi went to live with Tenchi?' asked Kiyone. 'She can't be trusted with any kind of responsibility.'

'How do you know it was Mihoshi?' asked Sakuya.

'Hmm?' asked Kiyone.

'I said, how do you know it was Mihoshi?' Sakuya repeated the question.

'Wait, so if it wasn't Mihoshi it was just some random stranger.' said Kiyone. 'What is the point of even coming here? As far as I can tell the restaurant is operating just fine without Mihoshi.'

'The person who worked here wasn't Mihoshi.' said Sakuya. 'Mihoshi never took up employment in this area. It was your replacement who did the job?'

'My replacement?' asked Kiyone.

'Well of course.' said Sakuya. 'You don't really think they would just let Mihoshi run free without someone to hold her hand, do you? They assigned you to keep her functional, and since you never met her someone else had to fill the role.'

'Well, that's a relief.' muttered Kiyone.

'Why?' asked Sakuya.

'I was afraid Mihoshi would end up on her own.' said Kiyone. 'She does need someone to hold her hand and keep her functional. Do you know that I have had to tuck her in at night and read her bedtime stories sometimes?'

Sakuya was silent.

'What?' said Kiyone.

'Nothing,' said Sakuya as their coffee arrived. 'thank you.'

They drank their coffee and paid their bill. Then Sakuya led Kiyone out of the restaurant into the streets. As they walked, Kiyone found herself thinking about things. If she never met Mihoshi she probably never met Tenchi or any of the others. The idea hurt, but she pushed it down. She might actually have a career this way.

'Hey,' said Kiyone, 'so why do I remember the other timeline?'

'Astral projection.' said Sakuya. 'It's sort of a thematic thing. If you accept this new world, you should snap back into your present self.'

'That… doesn't answer anything.' said Kiyone.

'Well whatever.' said Sakuya. 'So, anywhere in particular you'd like to see?'

Kiyone considered the question. Part of her wanted to see the Masaki Household, see how everyone was doing. Yet another part of her wanted to see what she had done instead. 'Show me myself. Where am I?'

'Alright,' said Sakuya. 'take hold of my robe.'

'Is that really necessary?' asked Kiyone.

'No, but I'd appreciate it.' said Sakuya.

Kiyone humored her.

Suddenly they were standing in the middle of an office. Kiyone was looking over a sheet of paper across from Mitsuki, who was smiling. 'So what do you think, Kiyone? Quite an opportunity right?'

'A commission in the Emperor's personal security forces on Jurai.' said Kiyone. 'You bet you it is. Why are you offering this to me?'

'Hey, you never laughed at my bad luck. You helped me when I was down.' said Mitsuki. 'I guess I figured I'd return the favor. So are you in?'

'Of course!' said Kiyone.

'Hold on a minute.' said Kiyone. 'Since when does the Galaxy Police work directly with the Jurai Emperor. And since when am I friends with Mitsuki?''

'A lot of things changed.' said Sakuya. 'History hinges on the right people doing the right thing at the right moment. Someone else took your place and that someone had a very real effect.'

Kiyone suppressed a sense of worry. 'Take me to the Masaki House. I'd like to see how everyone is doing.'

Sakuya offered a hand. 'Fair enough. Take hold of my robe.'

Kiyone took hold.

Then they were standing in front of a field of long grass by a lake. Samplings were beginning to grow up around it. A sign was nailed to a tree. Kiyone read it and then she realized she recognized the lake. 'Empty lot for sale. Where is the house? Where is Ryoko and Washu? And Sasami and Ayeka? Where is Tenchi?'

'Strange story.' said Sakuya. 'One day the Masaki House disappeared without so much as a sound. Not a speck of matter was left, and nobody knew where it, or the people who lived in it, went.

'People tell ghost stories of it to this day.

'Hey, while we're here how about I show you something else. I think you'll be interested in this.'

Sakuya led Kiyone through the woods until they came to a tree. It was dying slowly, but clinging to life as if waiting for something. 'This is Haruna's tree. In my timeline it was destroyed.' said Kiyone.

'In this one things are very different.' said Sakuya. 'Yosho disappeared without a trace alongside side everyone else in the Masaki House. So the spirit within this tree lives on. She cannot be consoled, and her ghosts is said to wander the grounds.

'Waiting for a lost love who will never return.'

'Will you knock it off?' asked Kiyone.

'Knock what off?' asked Sakuya.

'We both know you're an omniscient angel, ghost thingy!' said Kiyone. 'You know what happened to everyone. Where are they?! Where's Mihoshi?! Where's Ayeka, and Ryoko and Tenchi?! Where are they?!'

She realized she was becoming frantic.

Sakuya remained silent for a long moment. 'I'll show you.'

Author's Note:

Okay I'm writing this fanfic for two reasons.

First, I've never managed to do a christmas themed story ever. I have been trying to do a christmas special for years. But it never worked out until now.

Second, because at the end of Tenchi Universe Kiyone and Mihoshi are implied to lose their newly gained promotions. Mihoshi probably wouldn't care about this. But Kiyone probably would care a great deal. Thus the basis for this fic.

Hope I wrote everyone in character. Enjoy.