I found a list entitled "500 things to do when you're bored", thus came the idea of this fanfic. It shall last a long time, as, trust me, 500 chapters = a long long time. If you don't get Phantom of the Opera, you'll still find this chapter funny, don't worry, this is one of the only times I'll mention POTO.

And no, this is not an "OMG OOC EMMETCLLENFIC"(I think I killed braincells writing like that), it is a humorous Volturi fanfiction...

Today: a familiar DVD dubbed in a foreign language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Aro POV

I was bored. Boredom, you see, can come easy to the immortal vampires once you hit, oh, about the two thousand years mark. So when I got an e-mail from my old friend, Carlisle, I was excited.

It was a chain letter entitled "500 Ways To Get Rid of Boredom". That was strange, Carlisle was normally the serious, non-chain letter type guy.

But, anyways, it was just what the doctor ordered. Full of humorous little ideas, and even some wonderful projects, I just knew I had to try it out.

So, me being the social person I am, I asked if anyone wanted to help me. Most said no, but in the end, I had Caius, Marcus, Heidi, Jane, and Felix helping me out. That was a perfect amount.

"Okay, my friends," I announced. "As you know, I have found a list of great proportions, and we are going to fulfil every last part. So, any ideas on what we should start with?"

"How about number one?" suggested Caius, rolling his eyes.

"Now, now, Caius, have a good attitude, but great idea. Well, number one reads 'Watch a familiar DVD dubbed in a foreign language'. Any suggestions?"

"Phantom of the Opera," said Jane automatically. We stared at her in shock.

"Ah, Jane," said Felix. "You do realize Phantom of the Opera is a lovey film with sexy mortals... so why do you want to watch it?"

Jane sighed and replied, "Lon Chaney style, you idiots."

"But that cannot be dubbed," Marcus reminded her softly. "Lon Chaney is silent, after all."

Marcus hadn't spoken much after Didyme died(a couple centuries ago), so it was intriguing he knew this.

"Then, it's settled. Gerard Butler style it is, in French, perhaps," announced Heidi, and I noted a hint of glee in her voice. Could it be she perhaps liked this man named "Gerard Butler", whoever that is.

But it was settled, as Heidi had put it. Though Caius and Felix protested, Jane's powers triumphed their whines, and we sat down in the television room to watch this movie(just because we're older vampires does not mean we're not high-tech).

It started with really eerie music, soft and slow, with a candle.

"Is the movie about a candle?" asked Felix. "A talking candle named Phillip?"

Heidi shushed him, and, as Felix and Heidi were now in the early stages of dating, he shut up. Next, they were at an auction. How dull. The guys were saying stuff in French that basically meant, "Hey, we're selling stuff from your past, Raoul and Meg. Gonna buy it?"

Then, suddenly, the creepy chandelier rose up, there was color everywhere, and there was blaring music. I saw Caius jump slightly in surprised, and I snickered.

"Shut up," he hissed in embarrassment. If only vampires could blush...

Then, it showed... bellydancers? No, ballet girls. Eww, those are so immodest outfits. Luckily, none of us were pervs or us guys'd probably be drooling.

The rest was boring, blah blah blah, until finally, that one girl, Christine, started singing a song I think was called Think of Me.

"Is this all just an opera?" moaned Caius in despair.

Marcus, for once, sighed and rolled his eyes while sarcastically saying, "No, obviously the Phantom of the Opera has no opera in it, they just named it that for fun."

That so shut him up it was almost glorious. Then, this... was it a girl or a boy...anyways, it started singing about how it knew Christine from when they were kids.

"Isn't Raoul romantic?" gushed Heidi.

"You mean that's a male?!" gasped Felix, which sent Jane and I into a fit of laughter.

Next, this really loud singer with a mask seducted Christine into his boat-lair-thingy, then he freaked her out with a dolly. Weirdo, if you ask me. Who does that?

"YAY 'TIS ERIK!!!" said Jane as we all stared at her in shock... for the second time that hour.

"I've had enough, thanks, I'm leaving this crap," said Caius, storming off to do Caius-like things, whatever it is Caius' do.

About at a part where Raoul and Christine were dancing while a whole bunch of psychopathic dancers were singing about costumes and stuff like that, Marcus and Felix left as well, leaving me and the girls.

In this song called Point of No Return, I got so sleepy. Everything was getting kind of hazy, and my chair was so comfy and... suddenly I was knockd out.

---

When I woke up, I was in a... seashell of some sort? Weird... I don't normally sleep in a seashell.

Then again, I don't normally sleep at all, so perhaps I normally do sleep in seashells.

But, back to my perplex ion. I was in a cave-type thing, exactly like the one in The Phantom of the Opera. In fact, he was strangling that Raoul guy next to the gates.

Cool.

"Hey, just coming to say you're doin' a great job on killing him," I encouraged as I ran up to them. Erik turned around and Raoul just kinda turned purple.

"Hello, dear Christine," said Erik... lovingly. I giggled in happiness until I realized he had called me Christine.

I looked down and sure enough I was wearing a Christine-ish dress. So apparently I was a girl. My mother was wrong, my wife was wrong, and even I had been wrong about my gender all along.

Wicked.

"Christine, are you okay?"

Just as I was about to respond to Erik, I heard someone calling, " Aro!" as I was sucked back into reality.

--

In reality, I was in my bedroom, surrounded by the people I loved.

Okay, really I was surrounded by Sulplicia, Caius, and Alec.

"Oh, I had the strangest dream," I moaned. "Caius, you were there. And you, Alec. And even you, dearest Sulplicia."

"Really?" asked Alec in amusmement.

"Nah,I'm just messing with you. Anyways, interesting I had a dream, I thought that wasn't possible."

Well, apparently it was, for I did have a glorious dream(shame it wasn't real).

I guess you learn something new every day.