"Aaaa...M-Make it go away...Make the pain go awayyy..." mumbled a man, clearly going insane from what ever mysterious thing had just happened.
"Oh no. Looks like she's coming back for more."
"Shhhit."
"The bloody hell does she want?!"
"...I guess me." The door flung open in the dark office.
"Miss me?" asked a female voice.
"AAAHHHH!"
~TimeSkip~
If you had a raygun that could change anypony's gender, what would you do? - "Ohh, the things I would do with this..." said none other than Celestia, more formally known as 'Molestia' in these cases.
"...Not again!" yelled female Big Mac.
"I don't know why, but for some reason I am now a guy!" said male Zecora.
"...At least we don't need the strap-ons any more," said male Sweetie Belle.
"T'aint fair!" whined Big Mac.
"Ah! What is this? Change me back now! I feel...so...funny!" shouted male Luna.
"Oh, it'll only last a day! In the meantime, let me help relieve you of that. Hehehe," said Celestia. Oh, god...
I can make funny popping noises. What can YOU do? - "Make you do those popping noises," smirked Celestia.
Majesty; put your royal flank to work! - "Whaaaa? Work?!" exclaimed Celestia. ..."You heard the Anon! Get to work." Awkward close up on her royal majesty's flank. "I guess somepony's getting punished..." Just an excuse for the whip, huh?
What does moon cheese actually taste like? I'm sure Luna would know, how else would she have survived up there? - "I can answer this - Awful! But after a 1000 years, you get used to it... I don't even know how old this is," Luna said, gesturing towards a block of moon cheese.
"OOH, CHEESE!" squealed Celestia.
"Ah, wait! Don't eat-" Five minutes later...
"BLAAAAHHHHGGGGG!" Celestia yelled, puking in a toilet. Looovelyyy.
So, you ever thought of molesting a Fluffie Puff Pony before? - "Where's the F****** holes in this thing?!"
Has Iron Will ever "helped" you be more assertive, like he did with Fluttershy? - "Yes, your majesty! My seminars are something to behold! Don't be a doormat, haha! Of course a princess like you doesn't need lessons," Iron Will said.
"Of course. I know how to be very assertive..." Celestia said.
"Care to demonstrate it at the next seminar?" Iron Will asked, smiling.
"How about I demonstrate it right now?" Celestia asked.
"Right... now?" Iron Will repeated. ... "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
Is Luna looking forward to Mass Effect 3? - "You have no idea," said Celestia.
"It's time to take Equestria back!" Luna exclaimed.
Sooo... What were you doing in the Canterlot Archives Tuesday morning, and what went through your mind when you saw Twilight there in the black latex suit? - Sniffsniff...Sniffsniff... "I smell a Twilight."
"ER, Princess?! I can explain!" Twilight yelled.
"DAYUM GURL," Celestia said, referring to Twilight's ass.
Have you ever accidentally called Scootaloo 'chicken' instead of her actual name? - "What?! What a thing to say! I've never accidentally or purposely called Scootaloo a chicken!" Celestia shouted.
"You're the best, Princess," Scootaloo complimented.
"Now fly off to your friends. Friendship awaits."
"I... I can't fly," Scootaloo said, frowning.
"Problem solved~!" Celestia yelled, taking Scootaloo on her back.
...How close were you with Discord? - For that, let's go back some thousand+ years ago (or y'know, 1987). "I thought we had something, Discord!" Celestia whined.
"Sorry babe. A storm is brewing," said Discord.
"What storm?" Celestia whimpered.
"Chaos, baby. Chaos... Sayonara." VVRRROOOMM.
"I was going to let you reach home plate, too..." Celestia mumbled.
No looooveee for the equestrian navy? - There must be something. Let's check it out on the E.S. Hoofington! "And now for our main event! Our surprise guest wanted to show her support for the troops at sea!"
"Surprise? This is gonna be good."
"Hello boys and girls~ Let me sing you a little song," said none other than Celestia. Face it, you wanted a white pony with a blonde mane and tail with a purple balloon cutie mark, didn't you?
Now, time for some of the Royal Princesses' ventures at WonderCon 2012. "I know you were disappointed with your game. So to cheer you up, I thought about having you and I attend this comic convention," said Celestia.
"I really appreciate it, big sister!" Luna said, in her Nightmare Moon costume. "The best thing is we can go in costumes and no one would know."
"Geeeez! A geeky comic convention next to our volleyball tourney? Neeerds!"
"I think it's sooo cool! Too bad we can't attend."
BEEPBEEPBEEP. Celestia's DatAss detector was going off the scale.
"What shall we do first? Explore the exhibit hall or attend some panels?" Luna excitedly asked. ..."Uh, sis? Where did you go?!"
"Two halls full of volleyball playing fillies! All of them - tight spandex shortsss~" Celestia said to Luna, a little later on.
"Uh huhh..." Luna said, uninterested. "Ooh! This one seems interesting! Do I have this issue?" Luna asked, looking at some comics.
"'Scuse me?" asked a female pony. Derpy. Oh, this famous pony is in for it.
"Hmm?" Celestia asked.
"May I take a picture of you?" Derpy replied.
"Wellll..." Celestia said, edging closer to Derpy. "How 'bout you and I go back to the hotel and you can take all the photos you want," Celestia seductively said.
"OHHH NO YA DON'T! We still have lots to do and see!" Luna yelled, grabbing her big sister's tail and dragging her off.
"NO NO NO! I SHOULD'VE KEPT YOU BACK ON THE MOON!"
The first night... "So much swag! I love this," Luna said to herself, smiling.
"Hey Luna? I'll be in the shower for awhile..." Celestia said, clearly hinting.
"Okay!" Luna replied, oblivious.
Two hours later... "OOOHHH! THAT SPANDEX! I FEEL LIKE I'M FLYIN'!" Celestia screeched from the shower, awfully singing. Luna hid under her covers, trying to read her comic.
Dat morning... Celestia slept beside Luna. Luna woke up and found out. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNINNNNN'... No.
Later on, they went back to the comic-con. "First volleyball players, now cheerleaders?!" Celestia yelled, practically drooling.
"Sis!" Luna snapped.
"MAAANN, I'M MISSIN' THE GOOD SHIT!" Celestia screeched.
"Ugh, you see those...?"
"Totally."
And after some wandering around... Guess who! "Th-that can't be her!" Celestia shrieked.
"Mother... Is here?" Luna mumbled.
"I THINK I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT SOME BOOTHS," Celestia said, shoving Luna with her.
"Ah! Wh-What's going on? Stop pushing!" Luna yelled.
Later... "Is that my Luna? It's been a long time."
"You can see through this?" Luna asked.
"Of course I can," smiled their mother.
"Why- How are you here?" Luna wondered.
"Every once in awhile a hole opens up in the universe and sometimes it leads me to here. I can only stay a couple hours and poof! I'm in a different universe. Has Celestia told you about that?" their mother explained.
"Umm...No?" Luna replied.
"Speaking of Celestia... Where is she?" their mother wondered.
"Um, she's around!" Luna laughed nervously.
"You're welcome to sit with me," their mother offered. "We got enough time to catch up. The last time I've seen you, you were just a little foal."
"Yeah! I missed you so much."
... "I don't remember much of my time being Nightmre Moon so seeing mother again felt like it was yesterday. She really wanted to see you, sis," Luna said. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine. And it's good to finally head home... I'm glad you had a good time, Luna," Celestia said.
"Yes I did! So much stuff! What did you get?" Luna asked.
"Spandex."
"Uh... uhh..." Luna said, unable to say anything else. And what did you do with said spandex?
"SSSNIIIFFFF...MEEEE GUUSTAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Weird that a pony always looks more naughty when their wearing clothes than naked. Why don't we look at Twilight; now imagine her wearing a uniform from the volleyball teams. - "I know, right?" Celestia asked.
"Um, it's getting tight back there Princess!" Twilight exclaimed.
During your time at Wondercon, did you encounter any G1 ponies like Fizzy, Sundance Heart Throb, Gingerbread or Lickety Split? - "Who the f**k are they?"
How about a pic of you in those spandex shorts? - "You like what you seee?" Celestia seductively asked, waving her ass about.
So uhh... What's the deal with mommy? - "I HAVE MY REASONS."
Ever used Rainbow Dash's shampoo? - "Maybe?" Celestia asked. Uhh-
Remember the teenage dragons making fun of you during The Great Dragon Migration? How did that make you feel? - "Feh! Who needs that Spike? Hanging out with those dumb ponies."
"Huhu, dumb ponies."
"Ah! I saw something got him!"
"Namby... Pamby... Pony... Princess..."
"W-who's there?!" Celestia put her face next to one of the dragon's...
What's the absolute worst time you seen Luna having a ragequit reaction? - Celestia was walking along, terribly singing. "I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE, WOAAH! I'M WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE, WOAAH! AND DON'T IT FEEL GO-!"
"AAAAAAAHHHGGG!"
"-od?!"
"WE CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! SUCH IMPECCABLE INCOMPETENCE COMING FROM OUR ALLIES!" Luna screamed at a now broken computer.
What do you do when you're not thinking or not doing anything of a sexual nature? - "I make sandwiches. Lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, onions! Don't forget the mayonnaise; egg free!" Celestia laughed. "Now to get a-" she said, dipping the knife into the jar. She pulled it out. "Good..." she mumbled. "GAH! I'm just trying to make a simple sandwich!" You and your perverted mind...
You should really lay off the cake, I thought your New Year's Resolution one time was to eat less? - "I can't help it! It's so yummy!" Celestia whined, surrounded by a pile of cake.
Who does your hair? - "Myself of course. It's really hard to keep this all shiny," Celestia said. "First there's 20 hours in a bubble bath...then some caareeful brushing...Brushybrushybrushy! And some 'effects'~" Celestia explained. I'm not even going to LOOK at that bottle of Twilight Sparkle, Celestia... I KNEW IT.
Does Rarity snoop around? -"Another night at the castle... Fun to be had!" Rarity giggled. "And now to-MMH!" Rarity paused, her muzzle bumping into Celestia's butt.
"I heard you like snooping."
..."You got punished, didn't you?" Twilight asked Rarity, later on.
Earlier~ "You can't wipe your muzzle for the whole day or I'll be seeing you in the dungeon," Celestia said.
Present time~ "Punished? Heh, I don't know what in Equestria you're talking about, darling!" Rarity laughed, with a muzzle stained by... Well.
"Sniffsniff...You're such a terrible liar. You're worse than Applejack." (THE FUCK YOU SAY, BITCH?)
Uuhhh, did you see my bread? I can't find it anywhere ;-; - "Oh yeah! I did come upon a loaf of bread," said Celestia. "Nnnn! I thought it needed more herbs and spices! Still want it back, dear?" Celestia asked, removing it from... And it was covered in... It's so sick I can't even find a reaction to that.
The guards let a paparazzi get through? That's kinda serious! Who got in trouble for the debacle mentioned in Ponyville Confidential? - "Of all the incompetence! You three didn't join the Royal Guard so you can just screw around! Did you see the papers?! I'm NEVER going to hear the end of it from Luna. Rrr... A punishment is in order!" Celestia yelled. "And since all of you agreed not to take the dungeon option, we'll have it here in the garden. Now then! All of you will make my horn nice and wet for imminent insertion!"
So, your opinion about pony body pillows...? You have a favourite one; hiding them from Luna? - "They're so comfortable... Oh and she knows about them. In faactt..." Celestia said. "I CUSTOM MADE ONE."
"Ew, ew, ew! Do not want, sis!" Luna protested, rejecting the custom made pony body pillow of Celestia with her...legs...open.
And now for bunny day! Or as we humans call it, Easter. "I hope our loyal subjects are having a happy Bunny Day!" Celestia smiled. The two princesses were dressed in bunny costumes.
"Yes," Luna agreed. "I hope it's been safe and fun!"
"We're going around passing out royal chocolate eggs!" Celestia announced. "I personally made some of them."
"Ew..." Luna mumbled.
"I can't believe it! This is my very own sister; thinking naughty things! Especially on happy Bunny Day!" Celestia shouted.
"N-no! Noo! I wasn't thinking naughty thoughts!" Luna protested. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT CORRUPTED HER! MOLESTIA.
So, any good hiding places for easter eggs? - Oh, fuck me...
Sooo! How was the slice of Marzipan- Uh, what was it...Marzipann...Masca- KAH, f*** it! The delicious treat Twilight gave you! - "Mmm...Must savour...A bite..." Celestia whispered. I FORBID YOU TO SEE SUCH PERVERSE IMAGES! Owwwh...Clean up on aisle three.
Wait, speaking of which; what happens when you have a little royal mess? You have some sort of royal mopping crew running around forrrr...such a thing? - "I usually have a royal mop crew, but sometimes I randomize who gets clean up duty like these two!" Celestia said, motioning towards two ponies. Oh yeah, from Hurricane Fluttershy!
"Blaaa! What is this?!" Flitter exclaimed.
"I dunno but it smells funky," Cloudchaser replied.
"How are we supposed to clean this without mops?" Flitter wondered.
"I'm afraid to ask the princess for help..." Cloudchaser mumbled.
You should share... - "All gone! If you want some, reach into my mouth!"
Let's say I'm the only stallion in Equestria and you were the only mare. What would you do? - "I'd strap you down and ride your stallion hood like there was no tomorrow, until we made lots and lots of ponies together. It makes me wet to think about it..." Celestia smirked. "Unfortunately for you, that'll never happen. LOOSEERR!"
What do you do when someone accidentally bumps into your flank? - "How did I see you there?" IT'S HUUGEEE! "It's like staring into oblivion..." IT'S F****NG HUGE! "Now I'll have to kiss it... Tell me that I have to kiss it!"
"Now rub your face against my cutie mark," said Celestia to Applejack.
"...It's not so bad."
"Now lick my ass."
"HUUUH?!"
Has Luna ever caught you clopping? - "Luna!"
"EHH!" Luna gasped.
"Knock before you come in! I'm not finished, Lunaaa...!" Celestia yelled.
"Oh my- In my own room...?" Luna sighed, face-hooving. "REALLY? Right next to me?!"
"I know, I just can't help it."
Dear Princess Molestia - We all feel depressed from time to time. What do you do when you're down in the dumps? - "I'll answer this!" Luna said. "Sometimes my sister comes in my room with a big tub of cake or ice cream and talks about her problems. Today's problems were about the upcoming wedding and how big her butt was getting," Luna explained.
I saw you watching other ponies from your balcony just before the Royal Wedding. Care to explain? - "Any signs of danger? After all, a threat was made toward Canterlot!" Celestia said. "I must be vigilant." TO TURN YOUR ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE LESBI-PONIES.
So, what were you doing inside that giant cocoon during Chrysalis's hostile take over? - ... ... ... "OOOH, SHE'S GOT A CUTE ASS!" Clopclopclop.
Whoa, princess! I'm wondering, is your horn okay? - "As I assured Twilight, I am fine! The horn is as good as new. In fact... You there, my guard! Can you please touch my horn?" said Celestia.
"Yes your highness." He touched the horn with his hoof... SNAP.
"Oh dear."
So where the hell was Luna when the wedding was being destroyed, HUUUHH, Princess?! - Upstairs~ "This day has been just perfect... The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small. Everypony I'll soon control, every stallion, mare and foal - Who says a girl can't really have it all?" sang Chrysalis, during her almighty take over. She evilly giggled.
Downstairs~ "You waited 1000 years Luna. You certainly can wait for the bloody Blizzard servers to get back online," Luna said, staring at a computer. Priorities: You're doing it wrong.
Dear Princess Luna, do the castle guards get heart attacks from your adorableness? - "Adorableness? Heart attacks? Me?! That can't be true...I must test this out!" Luna exclaimed. 5 minutes later... "Excuse me, sir guard! May I take a minute of your time?" Luna asked.
"But of course, your highness."
"I don't cause heart attacks, right?" Luna asked. The guard fell to the floor. "I- Um- What?!"
Have you ever walked in on Princess Cadence and Shining Armor? - "Okay! Time to play some Lone Survivor," Luna said. She paused. "Cadence? Shining Armor? What are you ponies doing in my game room?"
"Um..Um...We um... He was giving me a massage?" Cadence asked.
"Ah...Yeah..." Shining Armor mumbled.
"Fine. Just leave," Luna replied.
"Can you uh, turn around?" Cadence asked.
"What? Why do you want me to turn-Oh..."
Dear Luna, what do you think when Vinyl lifted her glasses up and revealed her eyes? - "I just love your eyes, Vinyl! So lovely!" Luna smiled.
"Thanks! Since when did your highness wear glasses?" Vinyl asked.
"Oh these? They're fake. Ponies seem to like me wearing them," Luna laughed.
"Oh? They really suit you. Cute really," Vinyl complimented. "Saay...Octavia and I are having a little party this afternoon. We can make some music together if you catch my drift."
"Music, like a rock band?!" Luna exclaimed, getting over-excited. Oblivious -COUGH-.
"What the hell is a rock band?" Vinyl cluelessly asked.
Dear Princess Luna, IWANTTOWORSHIPYOURPLOT~ - "Worship my WHAT? WHY?! Why would any pony worship my bum? Shouldn't you be worshipping my sister's bum? It's pretty big-" Luna blushed. "Oh dear... Mine is so small...Oh, I get it. You were just joking. Haha! That's it!" Luna laughed.
Princess Luna, how's your sister? Getting any better? - "Yes! We shall see how my sister is doing! Hey you two~ How is my sister?" Luna asked, entering the hospital-like room.
"She is fine, your highness," said Applejack.
"Although very tired. It's not easy raising up the sun with a mending horn," added Twilight.
"Mm...Is that you, Luna?" Celestia asked, opening her eyes. "Will you excuse us? I need to talk to my little sister."
"I am here, big sister! Equestria is doing fine!" Luna smiled, approaching her sister's bedside.
"That's good to hear. I've been so tired, I can't do much but lie here. There is something I must say to you and I don't want the others to hear it," Celestia replied.
"Oh? What is it? I hope it's not grave!" Luna gasped, now worried.
"Come closer...I'm so weak right now," Celestia said. She came closer. "Closer, Luna." ... "Closer." Celestia licked her sister's muzzle.
"AH!"
"That's the third time you've fallen for that, you're so adorable!" Celestia laughed.
So, what would happen if Luna plays the SCP Containment Breach game? "They said this game will scare you, Luna. Hah! Don't they know who they're talking to? Okay! I got the key card... Now where is that door?" Luna said. "Okay, I don't see what's so- scary... About this game?" She walked through the door. "AH! I must not blink. Must not blink. I must not bink! No, no! My eyes are shut-" Blink. It's raeping time!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dear Princess Luna! What kind of music you like? - "What music do I like? Hm... Video game soundtracks, techno, rock, musicals, pop, alternitave, classical and rap." "Basically anything that gets my hooves moving!" Luna laughed.
Why don't you use your magic and help your sister? - "Mm..It's worth a try. Your magic is strong," Celestia said. Fffzz...
"Ngh...Ahh! Ah..Uh... Uh..Mm.. Huh?"
"Well that didn't make my horn better, but it was fun cumming together!" Celestia smirked.
"Uh-"
Another time Luna caught Cadence and Shining Armor... "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"
"Oh gosh, I love that song Cade-" Luna froze. Cadence was waving her butt in Shining Armor's face. "Why don't you two ever lock your doors..."
So Princess Luna, are you excited about the impending release of Diablo 3? I know it's old, but; if so, planning anything for it? - "Of course! We're going to have a party! I'm still finding other ponies to play co-op with, but I know Derpy's on board!" Luna said.
"I'm gonna be a barbarian!" Derpy laughed.
How big is the royal flank after all that bed rest and uh, indulgence? - "I haven't been indulging that bad! Still, it does look...Bigger. Time to take a stroll around Equestria when I'm fully healed," said Celestia. Look at the bright side! If the royal behind is bigger, more to love. - "DON'T TEMPT ME TO EAT MORE CAKE." She can do that by herself...
Passed 22,000 followers. "I CAME EVERYWHERE."
Have any advice to get a stallion to notice? - "If I weren't a princess, I do this."
"Ow, what hit me?" Shining Armor asked.
"Oh I do apologise Sir Armor! Did my big, sexy flank do that? Maybe you should punish it!" Celestia said, blushing on purpose.
"Princess, what are you doing..."
So Luna, you make the super moon that appeared some time ago to make a joke about your sister's plot getting bigger? Not that that's a bad thing but we just wanna know. - "How can you say such a thing? I would never stoop that low! Though...That thought is quite humorous," Luna said, smiling. "Hehe. A bigger plot...Hehehe!"
"Sis, sis! Wake up! I bring good news."
"Mm? Good news?" Celestia asked.
"Mother is coming to visit us this Sunday!" Luna replied, happily.
"...What?" Celestia asked, stunned.
What happened on Mother's Day... "For all of Saturday we prepared the castle for mother's arrival. I thought Luna was pulling my hoof but I know she doesn't joke about her. My mother knows how I tried to avoid her in the past..." Celestia explained. "And before I know it, it's Sunday morning. Luna wanted us to dress...Nice for her. She looked happy."
"Oh sis! You look so beautiful! Mother will be dazzled!" Luna complimented.
"Yeah...Dazzled..." Celestia bluntly said. "And so, we waited for mother. We waited all day for her. Doesn't make grand appearances but when she's near, I know. Eventually I had to lay down after setting the sun. Luna took me back. She said she'd wait for mother."
"Mother...You said you'll come today," Luna sighed.
"I wanted to spend the whole day with both of you, but certain events prevented that. I've already seen Luna. When we meet again, we shall have a long talk. Also, lay off the cake! It's unbecoming of a princess," said their mother.
"HHUUUU? WHAWASAT? Mother?" Celestia exclaimed.
"Oh sis! Mother was here! Did you see her?" Luna asked.
So Luna, what was goin' on when you guys started Diablo 3? - "I wish. We're having trouble getting in! While we try to sort this out, I shall introduce the platers who will accompany me." "Twilight Sparkle," said Luna.
"Where is the How To Play section?!"
"Princess Cadence."
"I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but I know this will be fun!"
"And Derpy Hooves."
"WHY YOU ERROR 37? WWHHHHYYY?!"
"Yay, 37!"
Uhh, can we go back to plot worshipping? - "But of course," said Celestia.
Dear Luna. For all the times your big sister teased you, ever tease her back? - "Trying to tease my sister is quite...Difficult. If there's one I've learned, don't tease her about her bum."
"So you're saying I have a fat ass?" Celestia asked.
"Well, that's what I noticed lately," Luna smirked.
"Nice to know you've been checkin' out my sexy ass."
"WHAT?! Not like that!" Luna yelled.
"You can always have a closer look..." Celestia said, shoving her bum into Luna's face.
"Uh, uh.."
This is actually a question for both of you. Diiiddd you ever get high...? - "If you're talking about drugs, then no. Does this count as getting high, though?" Luna asked. "Sniffing the smell from opening new cartridge boxes. I wasn't here when they existed; I did acquired a few. Oh yeaah... Oh! You don't get this smell with DVDs and Blu-Rays. I think I'm high!"
"SNIIIIFFFF...Huh? THIS IS NOT COCAINE. This is definitely not cocaine! I WASN'T HERE," yelled Celestia, her muzzle in a pile of cocaine.
So what is Cadence princess of anyway? - "Yeah! What are you a princess of?" Celestia asked, demandingly.
"What's that on your muzzle...?" Cadence wondered.
"HEEYYY. I'm askin' the questions around 'ere!" Celestia yelled. Clearly high.
"I'm a princess... of... Love?" Cadence said.
"Love... Seems legit. Speaking of love, you and Armor have been leaving love juices all over the castle. Having fun, are we?" Celestia asked.
"How does she know it's ours..." Cadence whispered. SHE CAN SMELL IT.
Have you and Twilight ever doubled dated with Shining Armor and Cadence? - "I wouldn't say double dating, but we do get together sometimes," Celestia said. "Oh my! They really are getting at it!" Celestia yelled, staring at the two ponies making out.
"Yeahh..." Twilight mumbled, blushing and averting her eyes.
"We should join 'em."
"My brother's in there!" Twilight protested.
"I'm pretty sure he can handle the three of us," Celestia smirked.
"OH WHOA PRINCESS, NO!"
Have you seen that Lyra plushie? You know what I'm talkin' about. - "Who is this princess you're talking about? It really is I, Lyra! Stop talking and let's fu- I MEAN CUDDLE." THAT'S IT. I QUIT.