Run in the shadows
Damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence
Damn the dark, damn the light
The Chain, Fleetwood Mac
Prologue:
Hogwarts, June 18th 1978.
He stood waiting for her at the edge of The Forbidden Forest; his back to the trees, half hidden in shadows as she made her way towards him. A whispering summers breeze ruffled his dark locks and Hermione paused for a second in the warm nights air to appreciate just how alive Sirius Black was at that particular moment in time – standing strong and tall, his eyes glinting as he watched her approach. An unbidden memory of her first glimpse of him - fifteen years from now, gaunt and broken by the future - the embodiment of Death himself, crept over her. And that memory led, of course, to the fact that eighteen years from now, on this same date, Sirius Black, the brightest star of the night, would die.
She hesitated.
"No need to look so scared," he called, droll as ever; mistaking her reticence for fear.
"I'm not scared" Hermione cast him a familiar withering glance and for a fraction of a moment Sirius felt his heart lift – perhaps all was not lost.
"If you're not afraid then why were you looking over your shoulder the whole way here?" he countered, closing the gap between them in three long strides so that he stood before her, his tall frame towering above hers.
"If you're not afraid," Sirius continued in the same low challenging voice; "Then why are you taking the blame for what happened to Marlene McKinnon – because I know that wasn't you Hermione."
Again, she hesitated.
"I'm not taking the blame for what happened to Marlene, Sirius – I'm accepting the blame. I did it. I attacked her," Hermione eventually replied - resolute, though her eyes, troubled, did not meet his.
"I don't believe you," Sirius said stubbornly; " It was Snape, or Mulciber or one of those other wannabe Death Eaters forcing you to accept responsibility. If Dumbledore had caught them using Dark Magic again they would have been expelled.'
Hermione could not deny him, so she pressed her mouth closed in a thin stubborn line and glared, rather than answer him. After a few tense seconds, Sirius let out an aggrieved sigh and simply accepted her silence as confirmation that he was right.
"There's no need to be so afraid of them Hermione. Just tell Dumbledore the truth, and I'll protect you – I'll keep you safe", he promised with the confident assurance of a man much older than he was, a man who did not appreciate what horrors the future held.
A mirthless laugh rocked Hermione and she cast Sirius a glance of pity; "This isn't about protecting myself from school bullies Sirius, this is about protecting myself from Him. When we leave here at the end of the month, that's it. There's no more hiding behind Dumbledore, we're on our own…unless we take sides. And The Dark Lord is winning –he will win… in the end ".
"No," Sirius shook his head glaring down at her; "He'll only win if we stop fighting him – and I'll die Hermione if that's what it takes. And I'd die before I let him hurt you – before I let him take you". Grey eyes locked urgently with brown as Sirius tried to convey the sincerity of his words; she was his future, she had to understand.
But Hermione just gave a shrug, a rueful surrender to inevitable defeat, and began to back away from him to make her escape.
"No! I won't let you – I won't let you ruin this -", in desperation Sirius grabbed Hermione's arm to stop her disappearing into the black night, but as he did so the sleeve of her robe fell back, revealing the dark mark burned forever into her flesh.
"What the fuck Hermione?" Sirius's voice was hoarse.
"I told you," Hermione raised her head defiantly to look into his eyes for what she knew would be the last time; "It's time to choose sides Sirius".
With a determined jut of her chin, she turned her back on him and began to walk away, leaving a shaken Sirius standing where she had found him - in shadows.
Hogwarts, 31st August 1998.
"Ah Miss. Granger, I have been anticipating this meeting for almost twenty years."
The startlingly blue eyes of Albus Dumbldore smiled sympathetically out of his portrait at the tear stained face of Hermione Jean Granger, who stood defeatedly before him, in the room which in his lifetime had been his office.
"But Professor I don't understand?" Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion, her already aching head throbbing even harder. "How could you have been anticipating this? I've been doing a lot of reading and none of the books have referenced The Cruciatus Curse having this kind of effect...?" She trailed off, as the portrait of her former headmaster cleared his throat politely to silence her.
"No, no, my dear girl, I fear you have misheard me. I have been anticipating this meeting; not because I knew that the curse would have this unfortunate effect on you,but rather because you've told me all this before – the first time we met in 1977".
For a moment Hermione's vision blurred, as she tried to comprehend what Professor Dumbledore was saying. Knees trembling, she looked around her for a seat, and finding one sat down heavily, taking a few calming deep breaths before turning once more to look at the portrait, bewildered. "I'm sorry Professor, I don't understand what you mean by the 'first time' we met?"
"I mean precisely what I said", Albus Dumbledore was calm, but he leaned forward in his portrait emanating a sense of urgency and importance. "The first time we met Miss Granger was twenty one years ago to the day. Voldemort's reign was nearing it's peak, and we were suffering heavy casualties. I will be honest – I feared at the time that we would be defeated, that The Dark would win. To help us I needed one thing – and desired another. When you arrived in my office, you provided me with both".
The silver instruments which still decorated the former desk of Albus Dumbledore gleamed and whirred as Hermione Granger sat listening, still heavily confused, to the story of how her future lay in the shadows of the past.
Hogwarts, 21st September 1993.
"He's at 's at Hogwarts. He's at Hogwarts"
These three words had haunted Sirius Black for months; he repeated them even in his dreams. And he chanted them to himself constantly now – as he lay hidden in his Animagus form, on the outskirts of The Forbidden Forest, where the trees thinned before receding entirely, to give way to the grounds of Hogwarts. That is until another word startled him from his reverie:
"Crookshanks!"
Hermione's voice called out; an echo from the past he recognised instantly – and despite his apprehension, Sirius found himself rising, and padding softly on four paws towards the source of it. He paused behind the cover of a towering beech tree, and peered out cautiously to catch a glimpse of her.
"There you are Crookshanks, you have to stop running away like that." A bushy haired young witch was scolding a bandy-legged ginger cat with the same exasperated yet forgiving tone that she had once used on him. Sirius felt his heart give a painful tug as he watched this young version of Hermione scoop the offending cat up into her arms, then turn and walk away back towards the castle.
Dumbledore had said that they would meet again. He had warned Sirius about this before, when he had still thought Sirius loyal to the order. He had explained that she could not be told – just as she had been unable to warn him of the that years he would spend in Azkaban with just the memories of what he had once had, and all that he had lost.
The young witch Hermione had long disappeared, but Sirius sat for hours watching the ground where she had stood, remembering all that they had once shared, as night fell quickly. The spectre of Voldemort cast a long shadow over his memories, and Sirius knew that it would stretch on into the future, unless he was prepared to give his life to fight him – just as Hermione had been.
Note: If I've made mistakes with dates, please let me know – I'm still trying to remember to write 2013 six months later, so I won't be offended. Also constructive criticism is welcome, time travel can get a bit complicated and if I'm not explaining everything properly then just shout!
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