Twilight's First Friend—Alternate Ending—Snip Snip
Author Note: After reading Issue 40 of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comic book series, an idea for an alternate ending popped into my imagination (along with some inspiration from some fluffy pony art, back when I was into that) For those who have not read the comic, it deals with the struggles of young Twilight taking care of baby Spike. Baby Spike is just as annoying (to me, at least, I know he has his fans) here as he is elsewhere, and Twilight just as neurotic. What if Twilight's dark side prevailed in this instance? What follows is relatively short, but gory and dark fan fic.
DISCLAIMER: The below work of fan fiction is a gory dark fic, including child abuse and mutilation, and serious out-of-character moments. Intended for mature readers. Reader discretion is advised. My Little Pony: Friendship if Magic was developed for television by Lauren Faust and the My Little Pony franchise is owned by Hasbro. The My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comic series is published by IDW, a division of Idea and Design Works, LLC. Issue 40 was written by Ted Anderson with art by Brenda Hickey.
"I can't believe you did that!" shouted an infuriated purple unicorn filly at a purple baby dragon covered in cupcake and other morsels from the High Tea. Twilight, the purple unicorn filly, released the magic aura transporting the dragon from the tea room, letting the offending purple baby fall on her bed.
"You—You caused that mess! And you annoyed the princess!" continued Twilight, now enveloping a towel in her purple magic. With tears beginning to run down her cheeks, she began cleaning the baby dragon.
"And made me look like—like a bad caretaker! A bad student! A bad daughter!" Twilight fulminated at the now shivering baby dragon, who was now warping himself in the now dirty towel, as if the soiled fabric could protect him against the verbal onslaught.
"I have had it with you—you nuisance!" Twilight said, interrupted by a sniff. "You're stupid and you can't behave and you can't help me!"
Tears now blurring her vision, Twilight's fury reaches a crescendo of resentment.
"W-w-why can't—why can't you be like Smarty Pants?!"
The abashed baby looked sorrowfully down at Twilight's favourite doll. As Twilight sobbed into her hooves, the baby dragon was hit by an idea.
"Ike Smuh-Pah!" prattled the purple dragon.
This sound brought Twilight out of her hooves.
"D-Did—Did you just say something?" asked Twilight in disbelief. Before now, the purple dragon had babbled the usual go goos and ga gas any baby or retard spouts out.
At Twilight's attention, the baby dragon's eyes lit up. "Smuh Pah! 'ike Suh Pah!"
"You...You're talking. You're trying to say 'Like Smarty Pants', aren't you?" Twilight reasoned out.
The purple baby dragon smiled at Twilight's suddenly different mood.
"Suh Pah! 'Ike Suh Pah!"
"You...You're not like Smarty Pants...You're not a doll..." Twilight reasoned out. At just that moment, while looking at the baby purple dragon that had caused her so much trouble, a shine caught the corner of her eye. On her dresser was a shiny, sharp pair of very long, sturdy scissors; the old-fashioned kind made of two pieces of metal, a black-painted handle and ending with the sharp razors, attached by a screw that could be removed so as to sharpen the sears. In preparation of of school projects and the like, Twilight's father had sharpen the sears to one could just a hair in half length-wise. Twilight's eyes darted from the baby dragon, to the scissors, and back to the baby dragon, several times. Finally, Twilight had the missing puzzle piece to her solution to her rather unorthodox school assignment.
"Dolls...dolls can't move...or talk..." Twilight muttered to herself as the baby dragon prattled on "Suh Pah! 'Ike Suh Pah!", now accompanied with clapping his stubby arms together.
"You would be more doll like...well, Smarty Pants does have arms and legs...I suppose more like a pillow..." Twilight continued to think aloud.
"'Ike Pil oh?" the baby dragon prattled, his alacrity lessening, sensing the change in Twilight.
"I've...I've read about this in some medical books...I'll need some rope...and my cauterize spell..." Twilight said to no one in particular as she pranced to gather the necessary supplies.
Returning the the baby dragon with some shoe string, Twilight stared down at the baby dragon, who tried to hide under the blanket, away from the now mad stare in her eyes. Seeing the squirming dragon reminded Twilight of frog vivisection in biology class.
No amount of hiding could save the baby dragon once Twilight decided upon her plan. Enveloping the purple dragon once more, Twilight spread his limbs and tail far apart, and tailed all five appendages to the bed posts. Even with as taunt as the rope was, the strings vibrated from the shivering of the baby dragon. Never in his short, little life had he ever seen something as threatening as the shining pair of scissors in the purple glow. Although his small mind could not exactly say why, some ancient, instinctual part of his brain knew something bad was about to transpire.
"Now...should I go for an elbow disarticulation, or a full tanshumeral...well, for his legs the correct terminology would be 'knee disarticulation' and 'transfemoral'," Twilight muttered to herself. After a moment of thought, she decided, "elbow disarticulation would leave a stump he could limp around on...better make for sure and go transhumeral...after all, never do a job halfway..."
With that, Twilight opened the scissors and put the baby dragon's left hind leg between the blades. By this point, the baby dragon's legs had gone numb and seemed as though all the feeling was gone, causing the baby dragon to whimper. The edge of the cold, sharp steel caused the baby dragon's whimpering to increase in pace and pitch.
A grin on her face, Twilight used her magic to begin cutting. Dragon skin, even the less developed skin of an infant dragon is very tough. Cutting through dragon skin would be arduous even for a strong earth pony, and next to impossible for the nimble but weak pegasus. Magic, however, was beyond strength. That simple fact was what kept the unicorns the top of Equesterian (besides alicorns, of course). Even the strongest earth pony could be ripped limp from limp by the right unicorn spell...the pegasus, with their speed, could be a match for unicorns...if their A.D.H.D. Did not make planning after five minutes next to impossible for their Mountain Dew addled brains.
The dragon flesh gave way to the blades.
The purple dragon began to wail louder than he ever had before as blood began to drip down the glades. Before Twilight knew it, but what seem an eternity to the baby dragon, the blades had closed around the bone joint. Twilight had to focus on adding more pressure to the scissor handles, finally closing the scissors, synovial fluid and blood spurt from the new stump. The shock of amputation caused the baby dragon to loose what little control a baby has over its own body, voiding his bladder. Luckily for Twilight, the dragon's penis was laying flat on the dragon's belly, sending the warm urine into the dragon's face instead of her face. After a quick cauterizing spell, leaving a red, angry, but not bleeding stump where a stubby leg at once been, Twilight considered this fact.
"Well...having a penis would make directing your urine easier for my plans...but I have to make sure it will never raise...luckily, I learned a male cannot get it up without testosterone...and testosterone is produced by the gonads...so...say goodbye to your balls."
"No! Pwese! No take spehul wumps," cried the baby dragon, tears running down his chubby cheeks.
Twilight just smirked. "Learning words quickly now, eh? Guess dragons come pre-programed with some vocabulary...well, you motherfucker, if you loved your nuts so much, you should have thought about them before making such a mess as the High Tea."
With this, Twilight used her magic to lift the dragon's scrotum up, and then sticking the sack between the blades. With one fell swoop, the dragon's scrotum became detached from his body. The cauterizing spell was even more painful than it had been on the leg, what with the many more nerve endings and all. This sent another stream of urine into the dragon's face.
With a smug grin, Twilight held up the scrotum and gloated "dragons like jewels, right? Well, I have yours right here. Want a bite?". With that, Spike released a jet of green flame into Twilight's face. After a brief moment of surprise, Twilight quickly regained her composure, and quickly entered a new level of anger.
"You tried to flame me, you bastard!"
Sensing just how impotent his defiant move had been, Spike's face quickly turned apologetic. "Sowwy...scured! Pwese, no mo huwties, hu hu."
"Shoulda thought about that before your little outburst," cried Twilight, turning the blades to the purple dragon's penis.
"CHOP CHOP MOTHERFUCKER!" screamed Twilight, a psychotic smile on her face as she cut the dragon's penis into thin slices. Sure, she could have taken the whole thing off at the base...but Twilight wanted to teach the dumb dragon a lesson. Eventually, Twilight cut off the last bit of dragon member next to the purple body. Secretly, Twilight amazed by the size. If just an undeveloped penis was so long and had such girth, what did a mature, full sized dragon penis look like? A dick like that would make a lot of female dragons happy...and the balls! Each squirt would probably contain a trillion little future dragons...boy, this dragon baby all grown up into an adult dragon would probably obtain a lot of pleasure from these privates...if not for a certain unicorn. Thinking about what she had just taken away from the dragon, what he had lost, caused Twilight to crackle wildly. So caught up was Twilight in her laugh, she did not notice the blood streaming out of where the dragon's member had once been. The pain, shock, and blood loss combined to cause the baby dragon to loose consciousness.
The suddenly quietness brought Twilight back to reality.
"Oh no...you don't get to leave this party so soon."
The first issue was the blood loss. Twilight quickly cast a cauterizing spell, taking care to leave a small hole to allow urine to escape. Then she trotted over to a stack of books, looked over a few of the covers, and then opened a large tome, quickly flipping through the pages.
"Let's see...which page is it...422? Okay...a ha! There we go..."
After a few passes with her eyes, Twilight quickly put the book down, returning to the unconscious dragon, horn enveloped in magic. A shot of purple magic shot out of her horn onto the dragon, who jumped back to consciousness, eyes darting back and forth bewilderingly, as if trying to figure out if the current situation was actually reality, or some twisted nightmare.
"You know...it is very rude to just randomly go to sleep while someone is working...I think that deserves a punishment..." Twilight mocked, one eyebrow raised.
The baby dragon quickly shook his head. "Pwese...no mo huwties," the tiny dragon begged.
Twilight put a hoof to her chin, mocking being deep in consideration.
"Well...I am actually a very, very nice pony...so...tell you what. I'll let you decide what comes off next," Twilight directed to the dragon in glib voice.
The baby dragon shook his head much more vigorously. "No mo...no mo...nee weggies and armies...nee fo wun an' pway," the dragon begged again.
Again putting a hoof to her chin, Twilight asked in mock confusion, "so...you don't want your arms or your leg cut off?"
"No...pwese...no," cried the baby dragon, tears running down his chubby cheeks. Twilight moved the scissors towards the dragon's face.
"Well...then I take that to mean you wish for me to take one of your eyes..." Twilight said, a grin on her face.
"No! Pwese...nee see pwaAHHHHHH!" The dragon was cut off as Twilight used magic to rip the ocular orb from its socket, quickly followed by snipping through the muscles and tendons, ending with the eye rolling down to the floor. A river of tears ran out of the remaining eye.
Twilight lifted the eyeball up for the dragon to see.
"You know what they say...beauty is the eye of the beholder...ha ha...okay, that really has nothing to do with the situation...I've just always wanted to say that." Suddenly, Twilight popped the eye ball into her mouth, chewed a few times, and then spit out the mushed remains.
"YUK! Your eyeball tasted nasty," remarked Twilight.
The purple dragon just cried. "Hu hu...see pwace no am nummy...for baby to see...hu hu."
"I read in a book eyeballs tasted like fried chicken, but that tasted like roasted chicken...not even your eyeballs taste right, that's how much of a fuckup you are...for your failure...I think another punishment is appropriate," commented Twilight.
The purple dragon shook his head, tears pouring from his one remaining usable eye.
"Pwese...no wan pway dis game anymo," pleaded the baby dragon.
At this, Twilight laughed.
"Want, want, want...that is what you babies begin every sentence with...what an entitled little shit...after all the trouble I have gone through, you want me to stop when I am finally having some fun...and making you into a better dragon? Time to teach you some character."
And with that, Twilight brought the blades around the purple dragon's right arm, next to the shoulder, and pushed down with her magic. Although the scissors were razor sharp to start with, cutting through so much tough dragon skin had dulled them considerably, such that Twilight struggled to get through the flesh. All out of tears and breath, the baby dragon just breathed deeply repeatedly as Twilight sawed through the tendons, blood squirting and dripping down the blades. Twilight finally tired of impotently cutting and sawing. She laid the scissors down, and enveloped the nearly severed arm in her magic. Then she began to violently tug on the arm. After a minute's struggle, the tendons finally loosened, and with a sickening sound, the arm was fully detached.
Twilight smiled. "Just like in LIMBO."
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened.
"Twilight Sparkle I just came to...what is going on here?" asked Princess Celestia, who had just walked in and saw the grotesque sight before her.
Laughing awkwardly, Twilight wished he had a Snicker's bar so she would have a moment.
"Well...this baby is kinda bad...so I was just making him easier to keep up with," Twilight answered sheepishly.
Princess Celestia's eyebrow raised. "Oh...tell me, Twilight...how exactly would caring for an amputee be any easier? Can you imagine the bathroom?"
"Oh...I had that figured out. I was going to take all his limbs, then put a hook into his back, and hang him over a litter box and force a feeding tube down his throat," answered Twilight, as if she were answering a math problem.
Princess Celestia made an aside glace before continuing.
"Well...considering your psych evaluation, I shouldn't be that surprised...this plan does follow some logic...if you were a pegasus, you'd have a future at the rainbow factory...but Twilight, why do you think I gave you this assignment?"
"To teach me responsibility?" answered Twilight.
Princess Celestia sighed. "No, Twilight...to teach you that you need a friend."
Twilight's eyes became wide and blinded a few times. "Okay".
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Twilight Sparkle, you do not dismember your friends, not even to make cupcakes. It is bad form," scalded the Princess.
Twilight's eyes lit up at this revelation. "Oh...okay...gee...guess I kinda botched this assignment," she finished, eyes cast down, dejected.
Princess Celestia's expression softened. "Twilight...you seem to have learnt your lesson...and can even continue the assignment."
"Oh, Princess...I appreciate the offer...but won't he be a bit too mentally traumatized to put the trust in me a friendship requires?" asked Twilight.
"Well, Twilight...lucky for you...I just happen to know a spell that will make him whole again...and forget this whole...incident...for the most part," replied Princess Celestia.
Twilight's eyebrow raised. "You can do that?"
"The physical anatomy is easy enough...as is wiping surface memories...especially in simple minds like a baby...but deep down in his subconscious...in the most primal and instinctual part of this reptilian brain...this will remain," replied Princess Celestia.
With that, the baby dragon became enveloped by a blue aura of magic, and, after a bright flash, was back to this babbling self, with all limps, eye balls, and reproductive organs intact. Twilight quickly ran to the little dragon and they hugged.
PRESENT DAY
"Hey, Twilight, do we have any hot chocolate?" asked a purple dragon, walking into a living room where Twilight was sitting at a table with a pile of newspapers.
"Just a minute Spike, I am cutting out some coupons," replied Twilight, now an alicorn.
Seeing the huge, sharp scissors Twilight was yielding sent a shiver down Spike's spine. He could not quite place exactly why scissors always made him nervous...after all, he could not remember any bad memories involving scissors...but they always made him feel uncomfortable anyway.
"Eh...on second thought...I'll just run to the store and get some...see you later Twilight," said Spike nervously, darting out of the room. Twilight giggled to herself as she continued cutting.
THE END