"Repent for your sins, boy!" Air. Air. Air! "Repent!" Air! Air! Please! I can't breathe! "You'll learn to love the Lord the way you love the devil for your filthy lifestyle!" AIR! I CAN'T BREATHE! LET ME GO! "Repent, boy! Say your prayers!"
Lids snapping back to uncover panicked icy eyes, Zexion woke with a jolt strong enough to bring a bubbled up scream from deep in his chest out and over his pale lips. Beads of cold sweat ran down his equally pale and clammy flesh as his breaths came in short gasps that weren't nearly enough to feed his starving lungs. His clenched hands relaxed only long enough so his fingers could thread into his damp slate locks and push them off of his sweaty forehead. Shutting his eyes tightly, the bluenet felt sick to his stomach as his heart hammered so harshly in his chest he feared it'd beat straight out of his ribcage.
Beside him on the bed, movement alluded to wakefulness of his forced partner. Zexion felt another sting of fear as realization dawned on him that he'd awakened the sleeping bear, and would now incur the wrath. He brought his hand down from his hair, reopened his eyes, and mentally prepared himself for the blow.
It came swiftly in the form of a harsh shove off the bed as the blankets snarled around the small male's ankles and tripped him up amidst the tumble down. His head knocked against the floor, sending his vision awry, and leaving him with a dull ache in the back of his skull. Shame, he'd taken the last of the painkillers the night prior.
Collecting himself the best he could under the given circumstances, Zexion stood close to the wall; close enough so he could feel the peeling wallpaper digging into his bare back. The bruises from last night's sexual escapades- of which proved a sufficient way to turn him into an object for other people's pleasure paired with complete and utter disregard for his own- were sore to the touch, and no doubt an array of sickening colours. Nothing new though.
"Get out." A gruff and sleepy voice commanded, the edges of the words he spoke as sharp as razors. Nodding in understanding without saying a word, Zexion tripped his way over the endless amount of shit littering the floor as he made his way to the door; dirty clothes, used condoms, a couple of used hypodermic needles, cigarette butts, and God knows what else what stood in the way of his path.
Finally exiting the only other room in the apartment besides the bathroom, Zexion came into the conjoined living room and kitchen area. The stale, acrid air reeked of drugs, alcohol, and sex, and it left the bluenet with a bit of nausea and a bad taste in his mouth. This scent was so familiar to him, yet he was never able to manage getting used to it. What's worse was this was the air he breathed every single day, and it was a wonder he wasn't hospitalized more often.
"Hey, sexy. Sleep good?" A cheery voice asked from the couch pushed against the wall opposite of the bluenet. Turning his head, Zexion caught view of Demyx, the residential pot smoker and dealer, relaxed against the ratty excuse of a couch with a joint in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniel's in the other.
"Define 'good'." Zexion's contained voice asked in an almost inaudible tone as he moved to sit next to the blond on the sofa; his ass screaming in protest as his body weight was applied to it. His face remained unchanged and stoic as always; giving way to none of the pain he felt. "Why are you drinking now?"
Demyx shrugged, taking a toke and turning his head to blow the smoke into Zexion's face as he talked, and of course, the smaller male didn't even blink. "Why aren't you?"
"Touché." The bluenet chuckled tonelessly, extending a hand towards the bottle in the other man's hand. The alcohol passed from hand to hand, and Zexion reveled in the feeling of the glass bottleneck in his hand; liquid pain relief.
"So, your ass hurtin' bad?" The blond asked, puffing the joint and blowing smoke rings in the air to amuse himself.
Taking a long swig from the bottle, Zexion allowed the whiskey to burn its way down his already raw throat before he spoke. When the liquid splashed into his stomach, however, warmth immediately began to spread through his body. "What do you think, asshole? You're part of the reason it does."
Demyx laughed musically in the way he did, extending his hand for the bottle. Zexion passed it back, and accepted the joint the blond had lost interest in. He needed the high right about now. "Yeah, sorry. Well, actually, not really. But does that mean you're gonna say no to another round a' love tonight?"
"Do I have a choice?" Zexion questioned with a cold smirk and another toneless laugh as he brought the joint to his lips. Love meaning sex, and sex meaning the act was to be forced whether he would consent or not. "It's not like a 'no' from my lips carries any weight around here. Nothing I say carries any weight around here…" He trailed off as his eyes looked about the room, taking a thoughtful puff from the joint, and exhaling as the THC entered his body and fogged up his mind. He needed to relax.
"Can I kiss you?" Demyx asked with a lopsided grin as he set the bottle aside, his bloodshot cyan eyes darting between Zexion's blue and the pale, kiss bruised lips.
"Can you wait until I'm thoroughly stoned?" Zexion asked back with a cocked brow, already feeling the beginning of a good high. He pulled another toke and shortened the joint, holding in the smoke of the drug before exhaling and sighing contently. He was on the verge of being completely baked out of his mind, the giggles and tunnel vision not far behind. And if Demyx wanted to kiss him, Zexion would definitely have to be baked out of his gourd. His kisses weren't exactly pleasant to receive.
"Sure, sure. I know it doesn't take long for you to get doped up, ya lightweight." Demyx laughed, and the bluenet took a third puff; the effects at their peak following this. His body felt light and absent of the pain he knew would be there later, he felt giggly and happy, and of course, there was the tunnel vision.
Setting the unfinished joint in a nearby ash tray as it continued to burn, Zexion turned to the blond with a small giggle, smiling crookedly. "M'kay. I'm baked." He smiled with a falsified eagerness for the kiss, unable to currently see anything but Demyx's face. The outside world didn't exist— even if only for a few moments.
Demyx grinned at this news, and his hand came to hold behind Zexion's head, bringing their lips together in forceful kiss. His lips worked hungrily against the bluenet's in a sloppy fashion; Demyx's mouth completely covering Zexion's. The smaller of the two males was struggling to not shove the blond off of him because he was not enjoying this in the slightest, and he never really liked kissing Demyx to begin with. He wanted nothing more than to simply lie on the couch and enjoy being stoned and pain-free, even if only for a few moments.
Thankfully, the kiss was short lived as Demyx pulled away for air. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and smirked at the breathless little bluenet. Zexion followed the pattern and wiped his mouth of the saliva Demyx had left, sighing a bit.
"You always taste so good, Zexy." Demyx hummed contentedly, leaning back against the couch and tucking his arms behind his head. He wore a goofy, lopsided grin on his face, and his cyan eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Yeah." The bluenet replied and stood, walking towards the makeshift kitchen. He wanted something to get the taste of Demyx out of his mouth. He could've taken another swig of the whiskey, but drinking first thing in the morning was exactly something Zexion enjoyed partaking in; he only did it to wash away his sorrows and to bring some kind of relief. Not to mention, his stomach was feeling as though it were trying to eat itself, and drinking only would've made him sick. He had been dragged into the bedroom the night prior so the two bastards he had the unfortunate luck of being shackled with could have their fun with him as they pleased, and he ended up passing out from exhaustion in the bed.
With a sigh, Zexion opened the door to their pitiful excuse for a fridge and his nose was assaulted by a foul smell. Covering his nose and mouth with one hand, the bluenet looked to see what they had, and where that utterly foul stench was coming from. The search for food was a futile one, considering the only things the shelves contained were a couple of empty beer bottles and what appeared to be the moldering remains of a half-eaten sandwich.
"Demyx!" Zexion whined out as he pulled the paper plate containing a lab experiment out of its place in the fridge. It smelled even worse up close. "How long has this monstrosity been decaying in here?"
Demyx stood from the couch as he sauntered over to the cross bluenet. "Oh, ew." He laughed and took the plate from Zexion's hands. "Uh, well, this was my lunch from a month ago, maybe? I dunno, 'm not here enough to really know."
"That's horrendous. Throw it out." Zexion sighed as he closed the fridge door. His stomach made a sound that sounded like a dying cry, and the bluenet put a hand against his abdomen as the growling caused a bit of discomfort. Noticing how far back he had to press his hand, Zexion couldn't help but wonder if he had he always been this skinny, or hadn't noticed all the weight he'd dropped until now? Either way, this couldn't have been beneficial to his health whatsoever. With another sigh, Zexion moved towards the bathroom.
"I'm going to take shower." He stated to the blond waving a dismissive hand. If he couldn't eat, may as well clean up.
"Can I watch?"
"No. You can go fuck yourself." Zexion called back, giving Demyx the finger behind his back as he closed and locked the bathroom door accompanied by Demyx's melodious laughter behind him because he knew when Zexion had the bathroom, he was not to be disturbed. The bathroom was the only place Zexion was never bothered. He was allowed to set one boundary and decided that when he was showering, there were to be no disturbances; especially from Lexaeus. This had been a respected boundary since he set it because of the lock on the bathroom door, and there were few things Zexion loved more nowadays than taking a shower. Even if the shower was small and rather filthy, it was like his own private sanctuary.
Still suffering from tunnel vision, Zexion stripped himself of the very little clothing he was wearing and turned on the shower. He cranked up the heat so that when he stepped beneath the stream of water, it was scalding his skin. He didn't mind the burn though, in fact, he rather liked it. The searing pain was a distraction from the ripping, aching pain he felt, and it was a welcomed trade-off. Maybe he could burn off the skin tainted by the unwanted touches.
Instead of jumping right into the cleansing, Zexion stood there a moment with his eyes closed. He took a deep breath and hung his head low as the water soused his tangled locks. Slowly, the water began to relax his tense, aching body completely and bring him a bit of peace. He needed this more than the high from the drugs.
It wasn't until after ten or fifteen more minutes of simply standing beneath the stream of water that Zexion finally began to wash himself. The high was starting to fade, and the tunnel vision was all but gone completely, but he felt tired and groggy now. One of the drawbacks of the high was that it always had to end, and always left more problems than it alleviated.
After a thorough cleansing, the bluenet regrettably pulled himself from the safety, comfort, and warmth of the shower, and stepped into the humid air as water dripped down his pale flesh that was stretched thin over his protruding bones. He was thankful the steam had fogged up the mirror and he was unable to see the pitiful body he belonged to. Nothing made him more miserable, and made him despise his life more than himself. Sure, it wasn't his fault he was roped into such a hazardous lifestyle, but it was his fault he had yet to make a move to rid himself of it.
The problem underlying with leaving, however, was that Zexion had nothing to his name. He possessed the literal definition of nothing, and his consensual captor made damn well sure to keep things that way. He did, at one point in time, have a pretty substantial amount of money granted to him through inheritance, but he'd be damned if he saw a single cent of it since the day it began. Before all of this, Zexion was living life relatively comfortably. He had a hefty sum in the bank, was attending college on a full scholarship, was working at a local retail store, and was an overall healthy, happy, and fairly successful young man. But when Zexion met Lexaeus, all of that changed.
Lexaeus was everything Zexion wanted in a man. He was tall, strong, handsome, and treated the bluenet like he was a king. They met everyday after Zexion had class for a coffee and a bite to eat, and both enjoyed one another's company to the fullest extent. But then, little by little, things changed. Zexion could feel Lexaeus getting attached to him; a little bit too attached. At first, he thought nothing of it, and simply let it slide. That was mistake number one.
After they'd been together a year, things progressively began getting worse and worse. Lexaeus wasn't just protective anymore, he was jealous and obsessive. And day by day, Zexion lost control of his own life and began a new one as a permanent object, a simple fixture in Lexaeus'.
Lexaeus threatened Zexion every single day until he was forced to drop out of college, quit his job, and surrender everything he had. In fear for his own life, the bluenet stupidly did just that, and was now trapped into a vicious cycle of abuse. It started with a couple of slaps, but as in any abusive relationship, it only progressed to full-on beatings.
Even now, with his college days in his past, every cent of his inheritance spent on booze and drugs, with his body weakened and beaten, Zexion still felt Lexaeus was still taking everything from him. He didn't even have any retainable dignity; that was stolen the moment the sexual abuse began. The bluenet knew he should leave, or go to the police, yet he refused. He was used to this life. He figured that he had a place to stay, food when Lexaeus felt like feeding him, and a couple of articles of clothes, and that supported his basic needs enough to keep himself trapped.
The worst of it happened, however, when Demyx moved in. Zexion had been forced to move into Lexaeus' shithole excuse of an apartment long before the blond was in the picture, and he spent his days sitting around doing absolutely nothing. He wasn't allowed to leave without Lexaeus' permission or accompaniment, and if he did? Well, the consequences were more than unpleasant, to say the least. And so in fear for his safety, he stayed in the apartment day in and day out; going stir crazy and wishing he were dead.
Truthfully, Demyx is in just as badly as Zexion. Lexaeus and he had been tight for quite a few years, and he was a regular supplier of steroids. But when Demyx faced some legal trouble and wound up behind bars? Lexaeus was there, playing the hero once again and bailed his sorry ass out of jail.
Demyx had lost everything after the drug bust, and that's how he wound up in Lexaeus' apartment. He's as much an object as Zexion, but under different circumstances. Behind closed door where the blond can't hear, Lexaeus refers to him as the bluenet's 'plaything'. He is no more a pawn in Lexaeus' game than Zexion is. Although Demyx is never hit, and he is never subjected to Lexaeus' sexual advances, he is indebted to the monster. Being drug dealer doesn't actually pay that well then you when either spend your profit on drugs, or take your product, which Demyx does both, so clearly he won't be paying back the money he owns anytime soon.
And so, that brings us to the point we're at now. Lexaeus has come to love Demyx more than he thought he would, but as nothing more than a brother. Brothers take care of each other, right? Well, according to Lexaeus, that care involves sharing your little toy. Obviously, this means that if Demyx wants to fuck, then Zexion has to put out. He has no control over his own life anymore, and that very fact is the root cause of Zexion's outrageous amounts of constant self-loathing.
Lost in these thoughts, it was understandable when the three raps at the door startled Zexion. "Yo, little man, you almost done? Lex wants to go out to eat because there is nothing in the fridge."
Hastily, Zexion began to dry himself off as he rummaged through the pile of clothes in the corner of the bathroom for something decent to wear. "Yeah, um, hang on a minute." He called back as he yanked on a pair of jeans and a plain shirt with a hoodie over that.
"Hurry up, dude. He's kinda pissy." Demyx warned before his footsteps could be heard moving away from the creaky boards outside the bathroom door. Zexion ruffled his hair so he looked somewhat presentable, and put a couple of eye drops in his eyes to reduce the redness. The high was gone now, but Zexion was hungry and tired and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into the shower and decay beneath the stream of hot water. Rather than doing that, however, he opened the door and was instantly met with Lexaeus' angry eyes glaring at him.
"What took you so damn long in there?!" He snarled at the bluenet who wanted to slink away, but remained frozen in his spot. "What the hell were you doing in there you little fuck? Hm?"
Zexion balled his fists up at his side and braced himself mentally for the abuse that was bound to come sooner than later. "I was just taking a shower, I swe—"
A harsh slap across the face stole the words from Zexion's lips as he brought a hand up instantly to hold his stinging cheek; and even Demyx winced at this. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them there. Crying was weakness and would be punished.
"Liar! I know you're up to something." Lexaeus growled before noticing the bluenet nod as he held back the urge to cry. The man was a giant and packed a hell of a wallop. "That hurt, didn't it?"
What the fuck do you think?! "Yes," Zexion nodded, his voice small. "It did."
"Well, don't lie to me, okay? I'm just looking out for your best interest, Zex." Lexaeus pulled Zexion's small frame into a bone crushing hug, and kissed at his temple as if he actually gave a shit about how the bluenet felt. "Now come on, let's go get something to eat."
Lexaeus pulled away after that and gestured towards the door. Demyx went first, followed by Zexion, and then Lexaeus as he captured the bluenet's hand in his own monstrous one; the same hand that had just given him a slap to the face. The feeling made Zexion sick, and he didn't make any attempt hold back, instead simply letting his hand hang limply in Lexaeus'.
Considering their living conditions, obviously, they didn't have a car and were forced to walk anywhere they went. Being in a town notorious for drug dealers, abusers, and low lives had these three misfits finding a place where nobody gave them a second glance. Demyx, with his glassy eyes, Zexion with his bruises, sickly complexion, and now reddening mark upon his cheek, and Lexaeus with marks all on his arms from injecting steroids were all perfect fits for this shitty little place.
And the only diner in the whole town was used to customers such as these. That's why new employees wanted to help almost every person they saw walk into the place, because they wouldn't be used to seeing so much pain and suffering condensed into the most pitiful existences of the most pitiful people. And that's why a newbie, redheaded waiter spotted a beaten bluenet and wanted to reach out as he seated him and the two others accompanying him.
But it wasn't his place, and it wasn't the right time to do so.