Info: I had the idea for this story when reading Montez' amazing piece "Lost". Montez himself has pointed out, that the premise is out of character for Steve and I thought about what wouldn't be. This is a shot at it. Takes place after 2x13 (uses some parts from 2x14, so beware some spoilers). From there on AU. No OCs. All team characters will be featured at one point or another.

I own nothing apart from the plot development played out in these chapters. Initial idea is Montez' and the original characters are all CBS's.

Thanks for reading. Leave me a review or a comment. You'll make my day.

The sound of the closing car door remained with him and seemed to bounce around in his mind for a moment before burning itself into his memory forever. There was a final note to that sound. Like a paradoxical promise of a last, unspoken goodbye.

And then Joe White was gone.

Steve McGarrett's mind went blank at around the same time. Or rather it started focusing on a simple word: Why?

He felt betrayed, hurt and uncommon for him he had trouble making sense of either his emotions or of the implications.

"Let's go, Joe!" The former Seal Team Commander stood up shakily from his seat and took two hesitant steps towards Steve before straightening up and supported by the wall, passed Steve who had his eyes and gun still trailed on Adam Noshimuri to protect his former instructor's retreat.

During the car drive back to his house, the air inside Steve's truck was thick with unvoiced tension and aggression. His face was set, teeth clenched and his jaw was about ready to jump out of its bone sockets. It didn't need a mind reader or an empath to interpret Steves anger radiating from every barely disguised sigh and frustrated exhale. Joe coughed lightly, almost against his will, but Adam Noshimuri's men had beaten him pretty badly and he felt almost every single one of his almost 60 years. He refused to acknowledge either the pain, nor a fuming Steve beside him, his gaze stubbornly turned on the road ahead.

So he deflected.

"You realise you just started a war with the Yakuza." - "No, Joe you did that when you grabbed Hiro Noshimuri!" Steve turned to look at the older man as if to emphasise the extent of Joe's actions.

But Joe didn't see the sudden worry that flashed across Steve's features, his eyes closed in frustration. "They think you killed him." Again, Steve checked the rear mirror and the dark street behind them as if to expect a Yakuza hit squad to follow them.

"Well, I didn't kill him." Now it was Joe's turn to check the rear mirror, obviously sharing the younger man's worry. "I helped him fake his death." Every word was sharp and clear cut. Joe's way of pronouncing truth and reality had a way of irking Steve that made it hard to contain his reaction.

"WHAT…?!"

The single word held so much more than just a question. It held weeks and months of frustration and doubt. Misgivings and eventually that large part of mistrust that had formed somewhere deep inside him. Mistrust at the only person he considered as a father, having lost access to his own so early in his life. That and more flashed up in his expression when he turned his blue eyes to his right to look at Joe White, Lt. Commander, former CO and trusted friend who still refused to look him in the eye.

His only reply was silence, Joe had closed his eyes now. The blood that had run from his brow down to his cheek was starting to dry and his throbbing head didn't help the situation one bit.

Throwing his free hand in the air to emphasise the next question, he spat: "WHY…?!"

"I can't tell you that." Still refusing to look at Steve directly.

The car came to a forced halt as Steve hit the breaks hard and the tires protested with a screeching sound against the tarmac. He forced himself to take a deep breath, but it wouldn't bring down his anger. Not one bit. A second breath had just as little effect. He was surprised that his voice was a low and even as he spoke the next words.

"I was tortured over Shelburne."

Another breath. Torture.

He had said it out loud. For the first time since they had brought him home. The words fell like dead weight between him and Joe.

"Tortured…!"

Anything even was now gone from his voice and the saying it again only made it more real. His eyes were turned on Joe now who found no better reaction than to nod while persisting to look straight ahead.

"Joe! Jenna Kay paid with her life!"

Still no reaction. Steve had a mind to either throw a punch at his former CO or shake him out of his apparent stupor.

"I deserve answers! I want answers! And I want them right now."

Joe stretched painfully in his seat, before replying with the smallest indication of annoyance in his voice. It wasn't much, but for the stoic that was Joe White, it was a bushfire about to explode into a ball of fire.

"You know son,… there was a time when I'd had you up on charges of insubordination for that."

Steve wasn't having any of it. He resented the fact that after all this time the older man tried to manipulate him through their common service in the Navy. He felt cheated, lied to and he had had enough. At last.

"You know … we're not in the service anymore, Joe. And you're not my commanding officer." The words seemed final.

"You're right." There was an audible 'klick' from a seatbelt opening and for the first time Joe looked at Steve. They locked eyes for a moment until a second 'klick' signalled the opening of the passenger door.

"I'm not."

Another set of final words. And without another look Joe got out, closed the door and walked unsteadily into the night leaving Steve to his anger.

He had know right from the start that Joe wasn't telling him the whole story. No matter how close you got to people, it would never keep you from being lied to. Steve had a feeling that he held back what he thought Steve couldn't handle or what he thought would serve whoever and whatever he protected.

But how deep the rabbit hole went…? Steve had no way of knowing. Helping Hiro Noshimuri, the head of head of the local Yakuza fake his own death? It was unthinkable.

His whole life, Joe's whole life… hell, all of the US military, and all federal intelligence services combined were there to bring people like Hiro Noshimuri to justice. The only reason he would get a free card was if there was something to be gained from him. What did he know that was so precious that warranted his protection through a death plot? And why Joe? He wasn't CIA, NSA or Homeland Security, what could he possibly gain from any of this? What was his play? Who was he protecting? There was no doubt in Steve's mind that Joe would have let Adam Noshimuri avenge his father, had he himself not gotten there in time.

He was reeling. He had been betrayed so many times and had lived to tell the tale. By fate. By friends. By circumstance. By family. By emotion. And by his own will. And now he had the confirmation that he had been betrayed by Joe White as well.