Alright, this is the sixth fic in a series of fanfictions I'm doing in honour of Taylor Swift and my favorite album by her, Red. This one is based on her song 22.
Title: twenty-two.
Summary: With a glance at Nat and Clint, who are buried in plastic bags, Tony asks, "How much would it be if we bought the carts?" Tony interrupts whatever the cashier is about to say, "You know what? Here's two hundred bucks. One hundred for the two carts, and one hundred for you. That should cover it, right?" [In which the Avengers run out of food and chaos ensues. Oneshot.]
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or 22.
Songs Used: I used the song 22 a lot for this song as well as a playlist on 8tracks called Sick Beats/A Tony Stark Playlist, by colonelamerica. Oh, and Uptown Funk helped a lot.
WARNING: This fic is set BEFORE Age of Ultron. It's got some language in it, so watch out if you're sensitive about that sort of thing.
twenty-two.
by clarabella wanderling.
"We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.
It's miserable and magical.
Oh, yeah.
Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines.
It's time."
~Taylor Swift, 22.
Tony wakes up to the sound of Thor's laughter and an uncomfortable crook in his neck due to him resting on Barton's legs. The first words he hears are, "Pour egg whites on him!" And that snaps Stark out of his dream state. He sits up, alert, and asks, "Pour egg whites on whom? I hope it's not the billionaire playboy who pays for your food."
There's a sudden jostling by Tony's left eye and he realizes Barton is moving, about to knock him off the couch. However, he realizes too late, and kisses the floor which, thank the heavens, seems free of any stains. "Ow." Tony says, and from somewhere to his left, Banner lets out a breathy laugh. "What'd I miss?"
Thor leans over him, his giant face red with laughter, "We watched Lord of the Rings. It was quite good. It ended strangely, though. A man died and the plot was not resolved."
Rogers calls out, "It was only the first movie, Thor. We're going to watch the second one as soon as Banner finds some more junk food."
From the kitchen, Stark could make out Bruce's voice, "I think we're out!"
"Then we're going to the store!" Clint calls back. He leans in towards Tony and, in a mock whisper, says, "Nat started crying."
As soon as the words are out of the poor man's mouth, a pillow whizzes through the air and hits him square in the face. Natasha looks at him, a tiny smirk settling on her red face, "I told you I'd go through with it."
"I never said you wouldn't." Is Clint's response.
By now, Tony is wide awake. "Banner?" He asks.
"What now?" Banner says, stepping back into the living room to where everyone's sitting.
"No food, huh?"
"Nope."
Tony grins, getting up and grabbing his keys. "Well then. Let's go shopping."
...
It takes the Avengers about ten minutes to actually leave. Their so-called movie night (which was actually just an excuse to eat food and get slightly drunk) had gone chaotic when they had chosen to watch the lovable movie about an evil ring. The movie had been chosen because Nat, Bruce, Steve, and Thor had never seen it. According to Tony, this was a sin, and Banner hadn't seen the movie since 2001, so they decided, why not?
Well, Tony had fallen asleep at the part where Arwen saves Frodo's freaking life, and Nat had started crying when Gandalf died. Oh, and somewhere along the way they'd run out of junk food.
Steve fills Tony in on all this as everyone accomidates themselves in the quinjet. Banner, who's tugging on his wool shirt, stammers a bit before asking, "Are you sure we should take the jet?"
Clint, who's just closed the hatch and is currently starting the engine, glances back at him. "Got a better idea?"
With a small shake of his head, Bruce moves to sit beside Natasha, who's confused about how Gandalf could go down that easy. "I mean," she says, wringing her hands, "He's a wizard. With a staff and everything. How could he just die?"
Steve bits into an apple -the only person in the group who's interested in eating anything healthy at the moment- and responds, "He doesn't-"
Tony smacks him, "Don't tell her, Captain Spoilers." Steve puts his hands up to defend himself, but Tony interrupts him, "How do you know that, anyway?"
"Every heard of books, Stark?"
" 'Course I have, I use them to keep my fireplace burning. God, Rogers, you're old. Everyone uses their tablet or computer to read now."
From across the jet, Bruce yells, "I don't!" And Natasha nods.
"What are books?" Thor asks, a bit confused.
Steve and Tony shake their heads, a bit exasperated, while Banner takes the time to explain. "Oh!" Thor yells out, clapping Stark on the back. He winces at the contact. Thor has no control over his strength, it seems. "In Asgard, we call them boks. Loki used to read them all the time, but I always liked smashing better."
Natasha laughs, "Of course you did."
"We're here!" Barton shouts, and suddenly the hatch opens.
"Took you long enough, Barton." Tony says as he skips out.
"Love you too, Stark!" Clint calls after him, falling into step with Nat and Bruce. Steve and Thor are the last to walk out of the jet. By the time the rest of the group gets there, Tony is standing by the entrance of an unsuspecting grocery store with two carts next to him. At around twelve AM in the morning, he thinks the probably looks a little too energetic.
"Alright, who's gonna push the carts so that I can get into one of these babies and look pretty?" He asks.
Natasha doesn't miss a beat in jumping into the one closes to him and smiling, "Why don't you push a cart so that I can look pretty?"
Tony narrows his eyes at her. Holding out his arms as if he's presenting the spy, he says, "Natasha Romanoff, world renowned asshole."
"Gorgeous asshole."
"Narcissistic asshole."
"Asshole."
Tony smirks. He's about to hop into the other cart when Barton climbs into it. He sighs, deep and resigned. "Stupid spies."
"Hey!" The two best friends say at the same time. Even Banner cracks a smile. "I'll push." Steve volunteers, grabbing hold of Clint's cart. "So will I," Banner decides, and grabs the handles of Nat's buggy. They step inside the store, preparing to cause hell for the employees.
They are, after all, the Avengers.
...
Tony's long since shaken off any drowsiness. He listens to Thor's steady calling of food -"Popcorn, Sourheads, Twizzlers..."- but still grabs whatever causes him fancy. He hands a packet of redbull to Natasha and twelve bottles of Starbucks frappes to Clint. Thor's throwing things into the cart as fast as he possibly can before an idea hits Tony and he smiles.
"No." Steve says, as soon as he sees Tony's face. The blond man is holding some beef jerky to his chest like it's life giving.
Tony pulls a face, "You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"I don't need to. Knowing you, it will probably be dangerous and cost us hundreds."
"That's how you know it's fun."
"Stark."
"Rogers."
"Boys." Natasha interrupt, and they turn to look at her. "Banner has something he would like to say." She touches his arm gently, and everyone stops to look at him. "Go on." She says.
"What's on your mind?" Steve asks, the mood suddenly serious.
"Yeah, what's up, buddy?" Tony cocks his head to the side.
Banner bashfully looks past them, his head tilted to the side: "I, um, really want ice cream."
Clint breaks into laughter and Thor claps Bruce on the back. The scientist winces.
"Y'know, Banner, so do I." Steve responds, and they set off on the task of buying every ice cream flavour there is.
...
By the time they make it to the check out, Tony is being carries bridal style by Thor, who's lost the list that Natasha carefully wrote for him. They place everything on the check out counter. Their catch includes twelve packages of mixed candy, popcorn, caramel popcorn (Thor loves it), cotton candy, every single Hershey's bar in existence, countless sour candies, a jug of milk (Clint drinks way too much when he's trying not to cry, and no one knows why), mint chocolate chip ice cream (because Natasha's obsessed), some strange Italian candy, red wine (no one knows where that came from), pizza rolls, chocolate ice cream, cookie dough ice cream, vanilla ice cream, cookies and cream ice cream, hot fudge, sprinkles, peanuts, chocolate and caramel dipped apples, almonds, frozen cookie dough (Banner loves that stuff), a package of hot chocolate mix (because Tony has guilty pleasures), and a bag of pears (Steve insists that they need at least one healthy thing).
It barely registers to Tony that the frappes and red bulls he handed to Clint and Nat earlier have disappeared, but he doesn't really car, because he's got a closet full at home. All of the food amounts to around $500. With a glance at Nat and Clint, who are buried in plastic bags, Tony asks, "How much would it be if we bought the carts?" The cashier glances at him warily, but Tony interrupts whatever the poor girl was about to say, "You know what? Here's two hundred bucks. One hundred for the two carts, and one hundred for you. That should cover it, right?"
The girl nods, numbly.
"Alright, thanks, bye!" Tony says. Everyone runs out of the building. It's about one thirty in the morning, but no one's decided to go to sleep yet.
"We should watch The Notebook." Clint suggests as they ride back to the Avengers tower.
"No!" Bruce, Thor, and Natasha shout, at the same time. Thor lists his reason, "I want to see what happens to the evil gold ring. Plus, I want to know if the small big-footed boys will live. They are not very handy."
Natasha nods, "Yeah, and I wanna know if Gandalf really stays dead." She glances at Rogers and winks.
Banner is quiet, and Tony takes notice of this. "What about you, big guy?"
Bruce gives him a look (only Nat can call him big guy, Tony dimly registers), but then he looks embarrassed. "No reason."
Tony smirks, "Why do you wanna finish watching the Lord of the Rings movies, Banner?"
Natasha, Thor, and Steve look intrigued. Even Clint has his head turned slightly, to listen to the drama. Bruce sighs. "I, um... I..."
"You what?" Tony prods.
"I wanna see if Sam gets the girl, and if Aragorn and Arwen stay together." Bruce admits.
The group bursts into laughter, "Softy." Tony teases.
"Says the man who started crying when he saw Snow White." Bruce retorts.
"Sass Master!" Clint calls from his seat at the wheel.
"I wasn't crying, I was sweating."
"It was a fifty-degree room, Tony."
"Yeah well... shut up, Banner."
"Don't tell me what to do."
"I'll tell you what to do."
Banner glances at him sharply, "I said," He says, getting up, a vein sprouting by his temple. "Don't. Tell me. What. To. DO!" He steps in closely to Stark. The ships gone deathly quiet, and then Bruce stumbles backwards, silently laughing.
Carefully, cautiously, the rest of the group chuckle. Almost bashfully, Bruce smiles, "I had you for a moment." He says.
...
By the time the third movie is over, it's nine o'clock in the morning and Tony's eyes burn, but none of them are going to sleep, not yet. Thor is asking if he can make breakfast, Asgard style. Natasha is pretending not to cry and Banner is consoling her quietly. Steve shaking his head, saying how many things they got wrong in the movie, and Clint is chugging on his milk.
"Have you ever seen Cars?" Tony asks, suddenly, and everyone turns to him.
"Um, yeah..." Says Bruce slowly, like he's talking to a child. "We see them all the time. Tony, are you feeling okay?"
"No, not a car, you idiot." Tony says, shaking his head, "Cars, the movie. Have any of you seen it?"
"What the hell are you on, Tony? Are you drunk?" Natasha asks.
Clint puts down his milk jug, "It's an actual movie, guys. For real. I've never seen it, though."
Tony smirks, "So none of you have seen it?"
They all shake their heads.
"Oh, you're all missing out." He turns towards Thor, "Make us some breakfast, with lots of caffeine. You're all about to forget your names and wish you were a sports car."
They all laugh then, and as the smell of Thor's cooking fills the room (there's lots of ham involved), Tony starts the movie. "Wait for me!" Thor calls.
"Cook faster!" Stark retorts.
Tony looks at all of the Avengers, at Clint's feet resting on Steve's chest, at Steve complaining that Clint's feet stink. He looks at Natasha curled up next to Bruce, at Bruce's content expression that probably matches his own. Tony steals a glance at Thor, who's dutifully cooking up something that smells wonderful but slightly alien. There's a word for this, Tony thinks. It's called friendship.
He looks around again, at his friends, and decides that they might be confused, and lonely most of the time, but in that moment they're happy and free and look just a little younger. He thinks that he'd rather be miserable with them, with his friends, the Avengers, than without them. The realization hits him hard, and for the first time in a long time, Tony Stark is silent.
When Thor hands him his meal (with a side of cotton candy, Tony notices), he smiles up at the demigod, and it's a real smile.
He feels young, almost twenty-two, and it's a good feeling. He wishes they could always feel that way.
"Stark!" Clint barks, snapping Tony out of his daze.
"Mm?"
"Were you listening?"
"No, I tend to tune you out whenever possible."
"Asshole." Clint says. "Pass me the Tabasco sauce, will you?"
Tony tosses him the sauce. "Thanks," Clint says.
"Anything for you, honey," Tony responds, and turns back to the movie.
"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two.
Everything will be alright, if you keep me next to you."
~Taylor Swift, 22.
Well, this was interesting. It was fun to write, I hope you enjoyed it! Please forgive any spelling errors!
Reviews would be lovely.
Blessings,
Joss.