The he was
There he was, in her platform, well actually across her subway platform in a cold winter morning in New York. Well it was his city, but it was hers too, actually it has been hers for a couple of years now. She had been living here since she graduated and started working at the paper.
But that was not important; actually, the important thing was he was there, across from her, so close and yet so far away. She couldn't believe her eyes and she double checked, as she did with everything while doing a list on her head of everything that reminded her of him for the last years, record stores, books, even classes at Yale, they used to have such a big connection, maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her, and that's when he caught her eye, and her horrified and surprised look, it may have scared him, because his look was matching hers, maybe with a hint of hurt, she thought. Well, it was not a good goodbye what they shared at her dorm room a more than a couple years ago.
Her train arrived, surprising her, startling her form her train of thoughts, and when she was getting on it she looked in his eyes for a last time, a timid smiled appeared on her lips and was quickly dismissed when he looked at her with angry and sorrow. So, on her way to work that morning she believed she was delusional and seeing unreal things.
But her theory was dismissed the next morning when he saw him again, this morning he was reading, and not paying attention to his surroundings, she loved that back in the old days, how he could be so engrossed on a book that anything around him mattered. So she took her time and watched him. He looked the same but not quit.
Maybe grown, or mature. Her train arrived and she took it after glancing up his way one last time, this time she caught him watching her.
And every morning the staring contest grew, they were avoiding each other but analyzing every look, every thought, and every move of one another. While her look was sorry and hopeful, his was sorrowful and angry. She was dying to know how was he doing, he was dying to find another route to get to work. Damn NYC traffic he thought every morning when upon arriving to his platform spotted her.
One morning he wasn't there, she got worry, and tried asking Luke about him, maybe he was sick, or moved to Philly just to avoid her, she wondered, has she hurt him so bad saying no to him that night? Maybe everything that happened to them was his entire fault, maybe she was to blame to, she was sure about that, but it was easier to let him take all the blame. But inside her, alone at night she knew for sure that their relationship was a mess because he was a crappy boyfriend, but she was a really but girlfriend too, always comparing, always demanding, always wanting to be spoiled.
Luke didn't know a thing, he was ok, he said, last time we spoke, he is doing really well you know? He sounded like a truly proud father, she thought.
But the next day, he was there again, this time, at her side of the platform…