I have no idea what this is, sorry.

I wanna hold you like a handful of diamonds and pearls
That I guard with my life or die trying
I'll keep you safe

.

Stumbling blindly into their pitch black apartment, Brian threw his keys onto the shelf next to the door and hung his coat in the closet. Tiredly running his hand through his hair and over his stubble covered jaw he flicked the light switch and flinched, the bright light flooding their apartment shocking his eyes.

He gazed around noticing no sign of life "Liv? Babe, you here?" He walked into the kitchen area and saw her purse lying haphazardly on the counter, the contents spilling from the expensive brown leather.

He took another quick glance around the living area, seeing no sign of life he made his way towards the bedroom, quietly pushing the door open he saw the mound over blankets on her side of their bed.

"Liv?"

He heard her laboured breathing under the covers and knew immediately she'd been crying.

"Babe…" He pulled the covers back slightly and took in the sight of her. Still completely dressed in her work attire, right down to her black heeled boots and thick winter coat, she lay in the fetal position, her arms clinging to the heavy blankets he had pulled back from her. She turned her gaze up to him, her dark eyes now black with worry and fear, tear tracks stained her rosy cheeks, her makeup almost completely washed away from her face by her salty tears.

"You okay?" He kneeled on the floor beside the bed and pushed a few strands of her now bed-matted hair back from her face

"I'll be fine" She whispered in the dark, the only source of light coming from the city lights shining in large window.

He knew she was lying; 'I'm fine' had become her signature line when they knew each other way back when and still was, even to this day.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked, already knowing the answer would be a firm no.

She shook her head and sniffled as fresh tears filled her eyes

"Want me to leave you alone for a bit?" He asked, praying this time she would say no and again and let him in but she didn't.

"Please" She whispered, nodding her head.

"Okay" He stood back up and grabbed the edge of the covers, he leaned in and kissed the side of her head "I love you, I'll be right outside if you need me…" He whispered in her ear before he pulled the covers back over her, gently rubbing her fingers as they touched when she reached for them.

Brian quickly grabbed his sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving the bedroom, he gently pulled the door almost fully closed, leaving it open just a tiny slither, his heart breaking in his chest as he heard the sobs coming from under the heavy white covers at the far end of the bedroom.

After quickly changing, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and turned back towards the bedroom. He sat crossed-legged outside the door listening to the heart-wrenching sobs escaping from his girlfriend. Quietly sipping his beer he let his head fall back against the white wall, his tired eyes closing as he tried to stop his own tears from taking over; he had to be strong for Olivia.

He couldn't help but yawn, the nearly twenty hour's sleep he had gotten in the last three weeks was definitely not enough to get him through his long days of detective work, he had no idea how Olivia was coping with even less than him. Olivia's and his insomnia had kicked in full swing three weeks ago when she had received a dreaded phone call at home from Barba letting her know that the trial date of William Lewis had been set.

They had been cuddled up on the sofa late at night after an extra-long shift watching a movie, half empty Chinese food containers lying on the coffee table next to a half empty bottle of red wine. Their bodies pressed together, hands slowly wandering as their attention diverted from the movie to each other for a passionate make-out session and then back to the movie, just as things got heated the blaring tone of her cell phone broke them apart.

To this day he still doesn't know how the conversation went, all Brian remembered was Olivia going silent, her face turning a sheen of white before she mumbled a quick 'goodbye', hung up the phone and sat stoic for a few seconds, he had opened his mouth to speak only to see the back of her as she rushed towards the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

He had rushed after her, knocking on the door when he heard her sobs, asking her to let him in but got no response. He left her alone and twenty minutes later she remerged and sat back down beside him on the couch, quietly whispering that Barba had called to tell her the date had been set.

Neither of them said anything else that night. They lay silent in each other's arms thinking over every possible outcome of the trial, what Olivia would go through, how she would handle it, how he would handle hearing what had happened to her.

She still hadn't told him the full story, not wanting those images stuck in his head like they were in hers.

.

Today had been her first day of pre-trial prep.

Unable to take anymore of her crying alone, Brian stood and entered the bedroom. He hated hearing her so upset; knowing her heart was breaking and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He slowly walked towards the bed and called her name letting her know he was there. He sat down on the floor by the bed where she lay; he slowly slipped his hand under the covers sighing when he felt her own hand grab his and pull it closer to her.

"It's okay baby, I'm right here…" He said quietly, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth across the warm skin of her hand.

He sat with his back against the frame of the bed, his arm bent backwards to hold her hand. He sat in the position for a while until her sobs turned to quiet laboured breathing, her grip on his hand never loosening.

He turned his body slowly when he heard her shuffling on the bed, moving over slightly, tugging on his hand. Brian turned fully and slowly lay down on the mattress, carefully lifting the covers and sliding under pulling them up to cover both of their heads, he immediately wrapped his free arm around her hips, pulling her body to his.

"You're gonna be okay" He whispered, squeezing her hand, pulling it to his mouth and kissing it softly.

Olivia snuggled closer to him, her arm clinging around his body as she buried her face into his chest breathing in his warm comforting scent. He lifted his arm from her hips and ran it slowly through her hair.

"What if I'm not?" She hesitantly asks, her words muffled by his shirt

"Then I'll be here, I'll help you. I'm not leaving"

"Thank you" She whispers, her mind in overdrive, convinced that the moment he hears what happened to her, what really happened, he'll leave.

"I don't want you there" Olivia waited on baited breath for him to immediately object, for his anger to get the better of him, for him to pull back and tell her to stop being stupid, that he'd be there the whole time no matter what she said.

"At the trial?" He replied

"I don't want you hearing that…what happened, what he did to me, I don't want you…"

"Okay" He interrupted, kissing the top of her head.

"Okay?"

"If you don't want me there Liv, I'm not going to force you to let me be there. I want to be, I want to hold your hand, I want to be the thing you focus on when you can't bear to listen to him anymore. I want to be there, only for you, to support you but if you don't want me in that court room, I won't be there. Just please let me wait outside, I'll sit outside the courtroom, that way you know I'm there for you, but you know I can't hear anything…"

"You would do that?" Olivia gazed up at him

"Babe, I'll do whatever you want me to, just please don't completely shut me out, that's the only thing I ask"

She pulled him close, both her arms wrapping tight around his waist as she felt him press a series of kisses to her head and shoulders. She embraced the moment, lying in the bed she shared with the man she loved, buried head to toe underneath the covers wrapped securely in his arms, she felt like nothing could touch her at this very moment.

After lying in complete silence, their hands gently caressing each other, Brian pulled back and carefully lifted the mountain of blankets away from their bodies

"Come on, let's get you out of these clothes" He said quietly as he shuffled his body and rolled from the bed, kneeling again on the floor.

He reached for her legs and slowly ran his hands down her calves before resting on her left foot, he gently unzipped her heeled boot and pulled it from her foot before removing her sock and repeating with the right. He kissed her thigh as he reached up and pulled her heavy black winter coat from her shoulders, his hands slipping underneath to gently caress the now overly warm skin of her back.

"I think I'm gonna go shower, I need to wash this day off of me" She told him, with a very voice quiet in the darkness of their bedroom, she ran her hands through her hair before reaching down to cup each side of his face, her thumbs softly tracing his lips. She smiled when he turned his head slightly and kissed the palm of her hand.

"Go, take all the time you need" He stood from back from the bed, groaning as his knees cracked.

"Wanna join me?"

.

"I love you" She whispered against his wet skin, her lips pressed against his chest as the water pelted on their naked bodies and steam floated around the large sized shower stall.

Every time she said those words his heart skipped a beat, he knew she wasn't the type to throw those words around to anyone, not that she had ever said them to anyone in the last decade or so. Even now she rarely said them; every time she did it was always quietly, in a sacred moment, just the two of them and he was the very same which made it more special when they felt they could confide their feelings in one and other.

Brian gently pushed her back against the wall; her shorter height meant her head rested just against his shoulder. He pressed his forearms against the tiled wall above her head, enveloping her safely in his arms, wishing he could keep her there forever, keep her from any more harm that was to come her way. His fingers gently brushed the freshly washed dark hair on top of her head as he dipped his mouth to kiss her, gently massaging his lips with hers.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his ribs, her fingers gently gripping onto the skin of his back as she pulled him closer, their wet bodies pressed against each other as they passionately kissed in the private confines of their bathroom.

.

After finally evacuating their hot shower they stood in their kitchen, their bodies pressed close as they shared a plate of re-heated Chinese food at midnight. Neither of them hungry but both knowing they needed to eat.

"Everything's gonna be okay right?"

"Of course" Brian wrapped his free arm around her hips, squeezing gently as she played around with the food on the plate in front of them.

"You wanna talk about how it went today with Barba?" He casually asked, hoping she would open up just a little bit.

Olivia stayed silent, her mind casting back to earlier in the day, sitting in Barba's office as he rattled off a list of his questions for her, preparing her for what was about to hit her when she took her place on the stand.

Detective Benson, do you know the person who attacked you?

How long were you held for?

How do you know the defendant?

What were the extents of your injuries?

What did he do to you?

Did you witness what happened to Officer Hamilton?

"All I can honestly tell you is, I don't know how well I'm going to handle it" She chuckled nervously, taking a large gulp of her bottle of beer.

"Just tell the truth, that's all you can really do" He shrugged.

"What if he gets off again?"

"If Barba does his job right he won't…"

"Bri…we both know it's not that simple"

"I know, sorry" He pulled her towards him and she rested her body, clad in his clothes, in-between his legs.

"He'll get what's coming to him Liv, they always do…"

.

thoughts?

lyrics: safe - miranda lambert

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