Prolog im Fegefeuer

"That smells really good," Kyouko remarked from her place on the couch, nibbling at a stick of pocky. "What is it today?"

Mami smiled. "It's a strawberry cake," she said. She glanced at the cans of frosting in the cupboard. "Did you eat my frosting again?" she asked absentmindedly, selecting one and placing it on the counter. "I like having them in stock."

"Sorry," Kyouko mumbled.

Mami shook her head, but she was smiling. "Remember I can't make cakes if I'm out of frosting."

"I said I was sorry…" Kyouko's apology almost sounded genuine this time. Almost.

Mami pulled out a knife and began smoothing the frosting over the cake, allowing her mind to be absorbed into the task. This was the ritual, what happened every night. It had been rocky at first, a month or so ago, when Kyouko had first moved in. Kyouko hadn't understood that she was not to be bothered too much while she was cooking, and she hadn't understood that Kyouko was actually showing her cooking deep respect when she slowed her nibbling to a crawl while food was being prepared. But they'd talked it over, and now it was all right. It was almost like they were sisters.

It was what Mami had always hoped the Puella Magi would be. And finally, years after becoming one, she had found it.

Homura arrived right on schedule, opening the door without so much as pausing to knock while Mami was preparing the tea. "Good evening," she said. She removed her shoes and sat on her usual cushion on the floor. She was such a strange girl. She rarely spoke of things unrelated to the mission at hand. She fought at her best when she had no distractions and had never hesitated to remind the others of that. Yet instead of working alone, she appeared at Mami's doorstep every night to patrol with the rest of them.

"Good evening," Mami replied. "Make yourself at home. The tea will be ready in just a moment."

And as usual, the last to arrive was Sayaka… though lately, it hadn't been unusual for her to fail to show up at all.

At the knock of the door, Kyouko sprung to her feet and rushed over. She pulled the door open in one swift motion. "Hey! I— About time you showed up!"

Sayaka was smiling. She hadn't smiled in days. And she laughed. "I'm not even late yet!" She pulled her shoes off and took her place at the table.

Kyouko came to the end of a stick of pocky and chewed on her lip for a few seconds, then smiled as well. "I'm glad you're here. Come on, Mami made strawberry cake today…" Why didn't she sound happy? Sayaka was smiling again. She'd laughed, and she hadn't laughed in so long. It was good. Everything was good.

Mami brought the tea to the table, served each of them in turn, returned to the kitchen, cut the cake. Sayaka was bright and sparkling like, come to think of it, Mami had never seen her before, even while she was shadowing them while she decided whether she wanted to become a Puella Magi, or right after her wish was granted. She chattered on and on about mundane things while they ate, so much that she barely ate or drank a thing, but Mami didn't have the heart to say a thing about it. Kyouko must have been thinking the same thing, because she didn't say anything looking at the near-full plate, just wrapped it in plastic and set it in the fridge.

As they left the apartment, Homura caught Mami's eyes. She looked over at Sayaka, who was still all smiles, then back at Mami.

Mami frowned. "What is it?" she mouthed, not daring to say it out loud, not wanting to do anything to break this moment.

Homura closed her eyes and shook her head. Without any explanation, she stepped away, gliding into her usual position at the front of the group. Once she took position, Sayaka quieted down. This, too, was ritual: Homura on point, Kyouko and Sayaka walking next to each other, Mami at the rear. She felt like a soldier from the Self-Defense Force commercials sometimes when they went on patrol like this.

"This way," Homura told them, only a few moments after they stepped outside. No one questioned how she knew that. Mami had learned a long time ago that Homura always knew, even without looking at her soul gem, when there were Magical Demons somewhere nearby. They walked a few blocks west as the sun sank behind them.

Sayaka broke ranks with the others when the barrier came into view. She ran forward and dashed in, transforming as she moved. Kyouko gasped and dashed to keep up. Homura didn't even speed up, and Mami reached the barrier at the same time she did.

Homura stopped before they entered the barrier and turned back to look at Mami. "Be careful," she said. Without any elaboration, she leapt gracefully inside.

Mami followed, confused. Homura never said anything so obvious. Everyone was acting so strangely. Why couldn't they all just be happy? Sayaka was happy…

Sayaka's sword flashed, far ahead of all of them. The remains of demons were scattered all around her.

Kyouko's spear twirled and threw a demon away from her as she pushed herself to catch up. "No, no, not like that Sayaka!"

As Sayaka started to laugh again, Mami realized she was looking at the remains of only one or two demons. Just in very small pieces, and tossed all over. Because that's what Sayaka was doing now.

Homura fired into the group and shot down a demon in what Mami would have considered a near miss if it wasn't Homura. Her face was the same blank mask as usual, with no indication that Homura was even capable of feeling anything.

Mami drew into herself and pulled out a gun, but she couldn't fire. She was too afraid she'd hit someone and not something.

Kyouko caught up to Sayaka. One of them was screaming. Maybe both of them were.

Homura shot down the demon she'd started with and moved on to another.

Sayaka's sword shrieked through the air.

Mami couldn't move.

She couldn't move.

And then it was all over and the barrier started to dissolve, and with it—

"Sayaka! Sayaka, no! You can't do this! Sayaka!" Kyouko finally, finally caught up and tried to grab on to an arm, but by the time her hand reached forward, there was nothing there at all. They were standing on the roof of the building they'd reached only a few minutes ago.

Without hope, Mami's eyes swept the rooftop.

But of course, Sayaka was gone. She'd disappeared. Because that's what magical girls did when grief overwhelmed them. This… this was how a magical girl committed suicide.

Homura…

Homura-chan…

Can you hear me?

I'm right here with you…

Madoka shivered. Another magical girl had lost the battle against despair. It was time to pay attention to something else.

I'll never leave you.

But Madoka did have her duties, and she would do them. That was the price of her wish. She breathed in the moment of fate and let it rest in her lungs for a moment. She sighed.

Sayaka.

Madoka knew this would come for all of her friends. She could see it, how it would come for each of them in every world that ever was. But it hurt to think of that pain, that depth of pain that led to the moment when she was forced to take them home. It hurt for every magical girl, but this…

No more time for emotion. She sank into time. Tears formed in her eyes as she took Sayaka's hand. She held the soul gem and purified it and she couldn't not look could always see everything didn't pay attention to Kyouko's anguished expression. Or Kyouko's fate closing in on her, the things that could happen closing in on a single point. She had to help Sayaka now.

Madoka…? Madoka-chan…?

Madoka glimmered. That's right. Sayaka had known her before, in the worlds that never happened. Outside of time, she'd be able to remember.

That's right, Sayaka-chan. It's me. I'm… different now.

You sure are.

You don't have to fight anymore, Sayaka-chan. It's over. Let me show you something, okay? I think it'll make you happy…