Hedwig had stolen it from Hufflepuff weeks ago in preparation for this. She knew he loved the out of the ordinary things, and it had been far too long since she'd gotten laid. Tonight, she planned on coming. More than once.
It was extremely well preserved for having sat in the common room for so many years. Then again, wizards were pretty good with what they do, and magical taxidermy was no exception. It even blinked every once in awhile, though the charm that made it scurry around had mostly worn off.
Flying out to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, she stopped and landed just outside of his hut. She had kept the package on her back the entire flight, and now kept it hidden under her wing while she tapped her beak on the door and waited for him to let her in.
"Hello? Who's th- Oh," he said, seeing Hedwig sitting on the stoop. "Come in! Come in… It's been far too long…"
Hedwig flew in, leaving the package on the table and nudged it, expecting him to open it up.
"For me?!" he replied, genuinely excited. "I wonder what it could be!"
Paper flew off in various directions, and once the gift itself was visible, he gasped, obviously aroused.
"Such a good bird," he began stroking Hedwig, though his eyes were still on the unusual present humming with lingering magic on the table. The motion reminded him of other things. Things he couldn't achieve prior with Hedwig, but he knew tonight would be different.
"What say we put this to good use, shall we?" he growled.
Laying it out on the placemat, he removed the badger from the rest of the mess of paper and cleared everything else off the table. Not that he'd planned it this way when he purchased it, but the table happened to be at a very convenient height. Hedwig hooted with anticipation, locking eyes with her lover and pleading him to do it.
Hagrid inhaled deeply with apprehension of what was to come. His pants felt much more snug since Hedwig's arrival. It had been far too long since he'd achieved release and he could barely wait any longer.
So, slowly standing up and walking toward the table, he picked up the badger and began to mull over the multitude of ideas that were running through his - now unusually dirty - mind.
One struck out to him, so he began to pull his pants off, offering the best strip tease he could with his shaking hands. Hedwig was making herself comfortable on the back of the opposing chair; greatly enjoying the amateur, but still arousing, show. Once he finished his striptease, the real fun began.
Carefully picking up the badger, he placed the tip of its nose right next to his hole, waiting for the right moment to arrive. Once he knew that Hedwig's full and undivided attention was on him, he slowly pushed the badger farther and farther in, moaning with every centimetre. Once it reached the beginning of the badger's actual face, he pulled it out ever so slowly, and continued at the agonizingly slow speed.
Hedwig watched with glassy eyes, barely believing what she was seeing. Her lover was fucking himself... with her present. That was almost more than her owl mind could handle, so she began to ask him for permission to join. Every coo became more and more desperate, until it became her begging him to let her in.
Of course, Hagrid had not neglected to hear Hedwig's consistently intensifying hoots. He slowed down the thrusting pressure from the badger and whispered, "wingardium leviosa".
The badger hovered there, snout clearly occupied, now free from gravity. Hagrid slowly shuffled closer to his plumed lover. She was ruffling her feathers with anticipation.
She perched on the end of his bed, her talons digging into the wood with heightening excitement and a little uncertainty. He brought himself up against her and began stroking her feathers seductively. Eventually his right hand began drifting down her body. He began stroking small circles with his thumb, drawing closer and closer to her pleasure points until he was directly circling her cloaca.
Hedwig gave an involuntary hoot when his fingers passed over it.
"Oh yeah," Hagrid managed to get out through his gasping breaths, drawing out the vowels. Hedwig countered with a noise that was as close to "fuck me" as an owl has ever voiced. Either way, Hagrid got the message and stop circling with his fingers, only to continue with the tip of his own package.
Finally, after teasing for what seemed like much too long, Hagrid finally entered her hole. A million pleasurable adjectives flooded through his mind to describe her tight little cloaca but he bit hard into his tongue to keep from uttering them. He knew that dirty talk made Hedwig feel degraded and she was above hearing any dialogue that belonged in his Endowed Enchantresses erotic video collection.
His tongue began throbbing right about the same time Hedwig's body did, fighting against the large mass her body was suddenly trying to copulate around.
It seemed like a much shorter time interval until Hedwig finally flew off the end of the bed midway through one of Hagrid's thrust. Her body had hit the end of its competence and she ended up collapsing on his bed twitching from absolute pleasure.
Hagrid was less excited as he wasn't off yet. In a flash of brilliance he roughly pulled the badger out of his rectum and began thrusting into it. Now, without the worry of being too rough for his lover, he began rapidly gaining momentum.
Within a minute he was hovering close to the end. He thrusted faster and faster, a tingling pressure growing stronger and stronger until his body flooded with pleasure.
It took him a second to realize he was still inside the badger. Its previous humming began to intensify until its whole body began to move. Suddenly he realized it wasn't just vibrating, it was actually moving around!
He pulled out rapidly and threw it across the room. There was an extreme hiss as the badger hit the floor on the other side of his cottage.
Hagrid rushed over and threw open his cottage door and the badger fled immediately. Through his confusion and growing exhaustion he shut the door and walked back over to an elated Hedwig who had passed out mid preening her feathers back into order.
"Guess I am pretty fucking magical," Hagrid laughed gruffly as he passed out on his bed with his lover.