Disclaimer - don't own glee, or the characters, but I do buy the songs on itunes… and I would love it if I got the dvds for Christmas
Song credit: You've got to hide your love away - the 'I am Sam' soundtrack version (written by Lennon/McCartney, sung by Eddie Vedder) - don't own it except on my ipod
A/N - I am a fanfic virgin, who totally crushes on Puck, so I hope I have done him justice… re-edited, hopefully it's a little easier to read now xK.
Puck found himself cornered at his locker by none other than Little Miss Sunshine and her sidekick Dumb'n'Dumber. Don't get him wrong, he was pretty stoked that Finn had let go of the shit that Puck pulled last year, but it was damned near impossible to overlook that the dude was seriously lacking in the brains department. A prime example of Finn's simple-status was standing right in front of him. Who the fuck in their right mind would sign up for Berry's brand of crazy on a fulltime basis?
"Noah," oh crap, there's that tone. It was like listening to his mother berate him for disappointing her, once again. Fuck's sake, you'd think the woman would expect nothing more by now, but no. She has faith that there's 'a good kid in there', going on about attitude and self-fulfilling prophecies and some shit.
"Noah!" she was demanding his attention now. He ran a hand over his newly reinstated Mohawk as he let out a huff of frustration
"What, Berry? If you're going to give me shit about missing glee then you can stop right there - I know, I don't care, and I'll be there later so you can catch me up on whatever I missed then…"
"Puck, dude. Just shut up, ok?" Finn looked uncomfortable.
"The fuck, man?" Now Puck was confused. These two were acting like somebody died, and while the dramatics are expected from miss 'I'm going to win a Tony before I am 20', Finn doesn't usually let it show that his stones have turned into ovaries since he hooked up with Berry.
"Noah, I - that is we - thought you should know before you see, rather, that you should hear this from people who care about you, so you are prepared, that is, so no-one uses it to ridicule you…".
"Cut the verbal diarrhoea already, Berry. I stopped paying attention at we" Puck cut Rachel off, holding a hand up as though to stem the rapid flow of words which, so far, had made no sense. Why the fuck did she think people would… what did she say? Ridicule him? (Who even says shit like that?) He just got out of fucking juvie - that is some badass shit right there - what asswipe would be stupid enough to mess with the Puckerone after that?
"Quinn's dating Sam." Finn said it quickly, glancing up from the point on the floor he'd been focussed on to look into Puck's eyes. "You know, new guy, blonde, plays football…".
"I think he knows who Sam is, sweetie, you can stop now." Berry cut Finn off. "I - we - were a little concerned how this turn of events may affect your emotional well-being, especially seeing as how you succumbed to depression over the summer, which was understandable considering the emotional turmoil you'd been experiencing, though when you proceeded to contend with it by indulging in criminal activity resulting in your incarceration, well, that was less reasonable and more imprudent…"
"What have prunes got to do with Puck being sad?" Finn was genuinely puzzled and he frowned down at his girlfriend.
"Not prunes, Finnykins, imprudence means he didn't think the consequences through…" Rachel was using her 'let me make this simple for you' voice.
Puck looked at the couple in front of him. "Back the truck up, Romeo and Juliet, I am not fucking depressed about anything - my life is fan-fucking-tastic right now. I can do whatever and whoever I want, whenever I want to. Hold up - Quinn's what?" It was like he'd only just let that piece of information filter through his instinct to protect his macho pride. "She's dating someone? She said…" Puck stopped talking. Jesus, just hanging around these two and their stupid love-in was making him do stupid shit. Puck does not talk about stuff, with anyone. His shit is his shit to deal with - it always fucking has been.
Berry placed a hand on his arm. "Noah." Her voice was gentle, like she thinks he's going to break down or something. "I know you've had a shit time of it lately." Berry swearing? It must be the fucking apocalypse. "And I know you think you're a big man who doesn't need to talk to anyone about it."
Noah cut in "I don't need to fucking talk about it. It's all gravy, Berry, Q can do whoever she wants. I'm done with that shit." Berry was looking at him with those soft brown eyes like she can really fucking see him, and fuck knows he's worked too hard to hide that shit for someone to screw it up for him now. "Seriously, I'm late for my nap in the nurse's office, so if you'll excuse me…"
"Noah," Berry wasn't finished yet. "When I have emotions I need to work through, I sing. Maybe that would help you - let you explore those feelings that I know you are experiencing, even if you don't feel that you can admit to them…"
"Whatever, Berry, I'm outies" Noah was halfway down the corridor when he lashed out and punched the closest locker.
Later, Puck was running laps around the track with his ipod turned up to 'burst-my-fucking-eardrums' volume. He was sweaty as all fuck, and he would never admit it out loud, but he had finally reached a point where the physical pain is outweighing the emotional (seriously, if anyone else suggested this shit he would probably tear them a new one, but he knows he's 'projecting' - he's not fucking stupid. Plus he had mandatory counselling in juvie, so shut the fuck up).
In the change rooms, after Puck has run hard enough for long enough to want to hurl, he turned when he heard "Um, Puck?" There was Sam, looking nervous, and kind of squinting through his stupid fucking floppy fringe.
"What, dude?" Puck answered.
"I just wanted to say, I mean, I know Quinn was kind of your girl for a bit…"
"Was being the operative word there, dude. You can do whatever you want - she's not mine to fucking give away. You want to deal with the head bitch - go fucking nuts." Puck slammed his locker shut and walked off, leaving Sam looking relieved at not being punched in the face or thrown in a dumpster.
Rachel was walking down the corridor on her way to glee club. She wanted to get there early so she could address some concerns with Mr Schuester regarding his song selections for their upcoming assembly. There's no way he could possibly expect her to step back and allow Santana to lead on two of the three numbers - it's as though gone back in time to when Mr Schuester delighted in taking her down a notch by refusing her a chance to shine… wait, who was that? Rachel stopped outside a practice room, where she could hear someone playing the guitar. There's still half an hour until glee - there's usually no-one here but her. When a voice started to sing Rachel stops thinking. It was Noah, and he sounded broken. Rachel knew he'd be angry if he discerned she had listened to him vent his private pain, so she stayed hidden, soaking up the raw emotion evident in Noah's singing…
Here I stand head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on
Feeling two foot small
Everywhere people stare
Each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
And I hear them say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
'Love will find a way'?
Gather round all you clowns
Let me hear you say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
When he stopped playing the guitar, and a choked sob sounded from in the room, Rachel couldn't hold herself back. She almost ran up to Puck, wrapped her arms around him and willed him to recognise that while she was going to let him cry she wouldn't let him break - she would be there to help him get it back together.
Puck sat there on the music stool, with Berry's midget fucking arms holding him, and damned if he didn't feel a bit better. He drew a deep, steadying breathe. "Alert the fucking media, Berry. I think you were right. It did help." Rachel's eyes lit up with the smile she gave him. Puck didn't want her to think he'd gone completely soft. "But if you fucking say anything to anyone, even captain Finn-tastic, I'll have to give Jew-fro your cell phone number".
Rachel's look turned to horror "Noah, you wouldn't?"
Puck walked to the door, guitar in hand. "Try me. Now hurry the fuck up or we're going to be late".