Inspired by Damian McGinty's wonderful cover of this beautiful song.
Disclaimer: Do I own How I Met Your Mother? Please. I've asked and asked and asked, but apparently I've been a very naughty girl because Santa refuses to give me anything I ask for. By "anything I ask for," I mean Neil Patrick Harris and HIMYM. Darn.
I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
He's really attracted to Nora in the beginning. Robin can tell. So she pushes him into it.
And then, later, after Nora has broken up with him for the final time and he looks utterly heartbroken, she can't help but think that even after all this time, she made the wrong decision, chose the wrong girl for him. After all this time, she barely even knows him at all.
And catching him crying just a little makes it even worse. She can't help but fall more and more in love with him after each and every single day.
It's her curse.
Words fall through me
And always fool me and
I can't react
Finding him wordless, finding him needing help, only makes her more and more helpless. She wants to comfort him, to tell him that it's not his fault that he can't hold a relationship. She wants to tell him that one day he'll find a girl who understands him. But she can only say a few words that meant absolutely nothing in real life because they're so used they're cheap.
"I'm sorry."
So he smiles sadly and puts his mask back on, but she really wishes he'd just understand what she meant. I love you. I want to work this out. I want to spend my life with you because I of all people understand you. But the words fall through her, and when he goes out on more dates, she can't find it in her heart to be mad at him. She can't react at all, really.
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
He messes around with drunken blond chicks again. He's regular Barney.
She misses him.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
You'll make it now
She can't express the words to him. But he has to know that she's floundered in these waters before. And if she made it, he can too. Because really, he's the strongest person she knows. The ability to go that long without a stable relationship is something she wishes she could deal with too. Sure, he deals with it by having countless one-night stands, but at least he deals with it. Something she isn't capable of.
She pities him, just a little, but not nearly as much as she loves him. Not nearly as much as she wishes for his happiness.
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
It's one warm summer night and she just knows. They're at MacLaren's. Ted's talking about his disaster of a date, and Lily and Marshall are just sitting there, poking each other and feeding each other. Lily and Marshall say they have to go pick up their son or the babysitter will be pissed, and leave.
Barney returns from his lost cause. "She didn't want the Barnman," he says in disbelief. "The girl must be high or something."
He's standing there, in that ridiculously sexy suit, and for one second she thinks, Wait, shouldn't I be attracted to those sexy guys with the scars and the muscles? Barney's not exactly that type. He has no scars that were caused by fights. He's terrified of guns. His muscles are wiry and he wears suits all the time, for God's sake.
She doesn't care. It's in that moment, when he's talking about another woman, when their eyes meet and those dark, deep blue eyes drive her insane like they always do, that she knows.
She loves him so much she can never go back. He's ruined other men for her. He's ruined her.
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
Sometimes he's her best friend because she figures that's as close as she's going to get. And then sometimes she's pissed off at him because he never sees how much she loves him. How she pays attention to every word he says. He never notices. And that kills her.
She's sure he wonders why she acts so moody and then so happy around him. He just doesn't care enough to really ask why.
Maybe he wouldn't be able to take the answer.
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
She goes back to the dating game. A few guys interest her, but nothing lasts beyond a few weeks. One guy makes it to a month and promptly dumps her because she tells him she can't offer him love. Jeez, it's like Ted all over again. What happened to the guys who didn't want forever? Did they all get hitched, too?
Robin fights against herself, watching Barney do the same thing. He struggles with both his love of being single and his desire to fall in love. He's only done it a few times, after all. With Shannon, with her, with Nora. With her. She misses when he loved her.
The sad thing is, she could offer to solve his problem. He could love her but also be free. He's just too obtuse to say yes. He's too blind to even know she asks him every time their eyes meet, every time their fingertips brush together, every time they touch.
Taking this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
You've made it now
Slowly, he begins to heal from Nora. He no longer tries to have sex with every girl he meets. He goes out on second dates, rather rare for him. He tries to fall in love again. And she wants to be happy for him. He didn't drown. He made it through.
Falling slowly
He's with her one day. Ted's on a date with another girl he claims is "the one," and Lily and Marshall are with their kid. Just stuck there at MacLaren's, drinking and talking and laughing, and he's making fun of a date he just went on. Some crazy girl with five cats and a talent for taking shots. "But she doesn't having your five dogs, and she hates scotch," Barney says, "so there will be no second date."
She wonders why her traits are so important for him in the dating game, but then he looks her in the eye, and reaches for her.
And his hands are in her hair, and her fingertips brush over his ribs as she grabs him by the suit and he brings his lips to hers.
Sing your melody
And they're kissing, and it's love again like it always was, and it's glorious.
I'll sing it loud
Robin used to think she was falling slowly, but nothing ever happens slowly when it comes to Barney Stintson. The man goes fast and heavy, and that's how they both like it. This time, they don't have to go slow. They've changed, they've grown.
They both sing the same song now.
And that's how Ted finds them, in MacLaren's, being egged on by the entire bar, kissing with their arms wrapped around each other.
Ted keeps back his remark about his wonderful date and simply smiles, watching them, knowing that this is what he wants. And what they deserve.