This story contains Merthur. If you don't like it then don't read it, but for all you Merthur shippers prepare yourself for… well, Merthur! It's from Merlin's point of view (Just so you know). So enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin; if I did it would no longer be a program suitable for children! :D But at any rate, No Copyright Infringement intended!

Arthur stood there just staring at me. 'I…I didn't mean for you to find out this way…' I trailed off, scarred by his furious glare (which could have been a confused glare but I couldn't really tell.) 'Why didn't you at least tell me… tell me that you're, you know…' I pressed my head into my hands and cried.

Flashback:

I laughed as Gwen bounded towards me with a parcel in her hands. 'Happy birthday Merlin!' I grinned as she thrust the present into my hands. 'I know it's not much but I think it will help stop you feeling so stressed!' I laughed and thanked her, her eyes wide waiting for me to open it. I undid the small string and teared off the wrapping. In my hands was a small leather bound book with some writing on the front which read 'Merlin's Diary'. I opened it but there was nothing but blank pages, 'Uh… a diary?' I asked, my grin frozen on my face. Gwen nodded and giggled, 'I'm glad you like it! It took me so long to think of the perfect gift! Oh, happy birthday Merlin. I hope you have a good day.' She then turned and went back to working, leaving me standing in the middle of a corridor holding a diary. A diary? It's a bit of a girl thing isn't it? Ah well, it was thoughtful of her I suppose, I thought to myself. I shrugged and carried on walking back to my room.

Gwen was a miracle worker, I decided. She was right, I felt so much better writing down everything that was troubling me and it felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I re-read my work.

Dear diary,

Hello. Gwen gave you to me and she's my best friend. Well, apart from Arthur. It's a silly thing to say 'Arthur's my best friend' but he is. Well, at least I'd like to think he is. Arthur's the prince of Camelot and I'm his manservant, though I don't know why I'm telling you this because you aren't strictly a person but, oh what the hell. I need to tell you something. I've never told anyone and it's been troubling me for more than a year now. You see, diary. I'm… It's a hard thing to say but my mother always told me that a problem shared is a problem halved…so here goes. I'm gay. What's more, I'm gay for Arthur. It's stupid and I know it can never be but I can't help the way I am. The way jealousy and hatred is my only emotion when Arthur is set up by his father with a woman. The way I'm ecstatic every time that he rejects them. The way my stomach flips and my heart races every time I see him, the sunlight playing off his golden hair and he smiles the smile meant for me. But that's thing you see, diary, it isn't meant for me and it never will be. I have to go now- to see him, to spend another day longing and hurting. I'll take you with me though, that way no one will know, I don't trust my room enough for someone not to go searching for it. Besides, if Arthur knew and rejected me I would die inside and that's why I won't tell anybody. Ever. I won't tell anyone that I'm in love with Arthur, Prince of Camelot.

Yours sincerely,

Merlin.

'Hello Merlin, you're in a good mood today! Though, you're always in a good mood. It's slightly unnerving to be honest!' Arthur was his usual pratty self but not even his vaguely amusing insults could piss me off on my birthday. He strode up to me, 'What's that in your hand?' he asked, grabbing my present out of my grasp and reading the front cover. 'Hah! A diary? Bit of a girly thing isn't it?' He said, confirming my thoughts. 'Always knew you had a feminine side to you Merlin and I'm so very proud of you for showing it! Hmmm, what has Girl Merlin got to say in here?' I shook off yet another insult and tried to take it back. 'Don't read it!' I yelled, trying to keep him from opening the pages and revealing the one thing I held closest to my heart. To no avail. Arthur simply laughed and pushed me away, I fell to the floor. I crawled up in a ball as tight as I could. I waited for the pain.

Back to the present.

Arthur stood there just staring at me. 'I…I didn't mean for you to find out this way…' I trailed off, scarred by his furious glare, (which could have been a confused glare but I couldn't really tell.) 'Why didn't you at least tell me… tell me that you're, you know…' I pressed my head into my hands and cried.

Next thing I know he is crouched beside me, his arms wrapped around me. 'Don't cry Merlin. It's such a girly thing to do.' This just worsened the matter. I shouted back, 'Such a gay thing to do, you mean!' He pulled my head up to look at him. 'Merlin. You have no need to cry, you are right when you say I'm your best friend. You're mine too. But you are so wrong in thinking that I could ever in a million years…' I braced myself for the hurt. '…reject you!' My mouth fell open. 'Wah? Huh?' I could only manage a stammering mess as he smiled. A smile meant for me. 'I love you, Merlin.' He bent his head and pressed his mouth against mine. I shivered at the touch I had waited so long for. 'I love you, Merlin.' These words I would carry with me till the end of time. I was truly happy in the knowledge that the man I loved… loved me back. I smiled into the kiss and I was still smiling as we broke apart. 'Love you too!' I whispered, grinning madly.

Hehe. Happy endings are awesome. Review to tell me what you think of the story and thanks for reading! (Reviews are a girl's best friend… well, at least this girl anyway.)