Disclaimer: a new song fic for moi. Sequel to "Jealousy" (I know…it's about time, right?) WEEEEE SUGAR!!!! Oh, it contains suicide. Just saying.
Well
I'm loaded and ready
Calmly holding steady
Looking for a sign
to show me when
Well I'm waiting and willing
The clarity is
chilling
But I'm not turning back
and neither can you
I loved you. But you didn't love me. And it hurt, Fang, it really hurt. I don't think you knew how much it hurt. I doubt you even cared.
I
need someone to pull the trigger
'Cause there's a hole in my
heart getting bigger
And everything I'll ever be I've been
And
I need someone to pull the trigger
So if you're what I think
you'll be
If you're who I think I see – shoot
I thought that the pain would be taken away by time. I thought wrong. It still hurts…and it cuts through my heart like a hot knife cuts through butter. And everyday it keeps getting worse and worse.
So
hold me and love me
Tie me up and drug me
'Cause I'm not
gonna beg you for my life
And it just kept getting worse after I killed you, Fang, it kept getting worse. I cried, lord how I cried. I couldn't face the flock…I couldn't face anybody. I regretted killing you Fang, I swear I really did. But…you…and her...you didn't kill me, I killed you. All you did was rip out my soul and chop it up into a million heart-broken pieces. But I was still alive. I hated it.
I need someone to pull the trigger
'Cause there's a hole
in my heart getting bigger
And everything I'll ever be I've been
And I need someone to pull the trigger
So if you're what I
think you'll be
If you're who I think I see -- shoot
No one would kill me, so I just did it myself. Sorry.