Underneath
Lyrics are from "Underneath Your Clothes" by Shakira.
If you'd told me a year ago that I would be lying naked in Spike's bed, watching him sleep, I'd have laughed in your face, before kicking it in. But I've changed. Death will do that. Loss will do that. Spike watched as I deteriorated, and when I was resurrected after dying for myself, he was still there. He helped me try to piece myself back together.
I've learned a lot about him, but it wasn't easy. He wears his leather and his Big Bad attitude like armor, to keep people from getting in.
But all that's gone now, in the afterglow of what I just can't bring myself to regret, and I watch him. Study him.
You're a song
Written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you're the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
Right under your clothes
Is where I find them
He's a story, written in scars and symbolism. Vampires don't scar very easily, so each one holds a significance. He's kept a record of every Big Moment in his long unlife. I can look on his sleeping form and read his history.
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
The scar that cris-crosses his left eyebrow is a souvenir of his first slayer's consecrated blade. The leather duster is rarely without is a token of his second. The small patch of scar tissue at the base of his skull was the entering place of the chip that keeps him restrained. The slash on his side is the mark of the Ghora demon he fought for Dawn, so she could get the ingredients for the resurrection spell they think I don't know about. A white line left by Doc's blade that took him off the tower before drawing my sister's blood and opening the portal which would be my second death.
Because of you
I forgot the
Smart ways to rhyme
Because of you
I'm running out of
Reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We'll still belong
To each other
He only loves one way: forever. His love is selfless, unconditional and unwavering. All he asks of me is to see him, and to let him love me. So I let him, and it's helped me get through the past weeks. And I see him.
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
I don't think I love him. I don't think I know how to love that way anymore. Did my ability to love die with my body, and not come back?
I hope I can learn to love him. He deserves it. Not for what he's done so much as for him.
A vampire. A demon who falls in love with all the passion and soul of anyone who actually has one. It's right here, documented on his body forever, and seen by so few.
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl
He's imperfect, of course, but that only adds to his appeal. He's the challenge I never knew I needed, and the fire I never knew I had.