Returning to Barkingside station
Chapter one
It was hot and stuffy where they were. Extremely humid and full of rushing people too busy to stop and notice the friend they had just brushed past. Quite an unusual place to land it was. Barkingside Station, an old London underground station from the 1900's. The three of them stepped out one by one, the Doctor first of course. He stood without moving for the best of a still three minutes and looked for a sign post.
'Oh. Oh no. We can't be here' the Doctor said as if it was forbidden.
'What? Barkingside Station. No this is the right place; you said we had to come here. How many of them can there be'? Amy asked.
'Well that's the problem; this is the only station with that name'.
'What's the problem exactly' Rory asked anxiously. 'If we shouldn't be here let's just get in the TARDIS and go. Come on Amy'.
'Oh don't be stupid' she snapped 'if we go he'll follow, now come on'.
Rory acted like he didn't have a choice and he followed Amy and as she said, the Doctor did indeed follow. He couldn't leave them alone.
'So Doctor, are you going to tell us what's wrong with this place or are we gonna have to work it out'?
'Amy pond' he started 'what a ridiculous question. Of course I'm not going to tell you. What I will tell you is to do what I say and I mean it. Do not speak to anyone have you got that'?
'Oh but-'
'Nobody Amy! Tell her Rory'.
'I-I think you should do what he says' Rory stuttered. It was never the right time or place to tell Amy what to do, especially not for Rory. It was like she had this persona that he was scared to interfere with and so left it most times.
For a while they walked around the area. The Doctor had banned the young Scottish woman from entering any sort of shop or building where she would feel the need to speak to a stranger, even just to say please or thank you. He was looking for something in particular but he wasn't going to let anyone know. He was sure he was there for a reason and that reason he would soon find.
Two or three hours went past before they decided that maybe the trip was pointless. They turned to head back to where they had left the TARDIS but a strange woman blocked their path. The woman starred directly at the doctor.
'Have I seen you before' she eventually asked. The Doctor's mouth moved but no words came out.
'Err...well tech-nically...'
'No don't get all technical with me I just want a straight answer' the woman said. She stood a rather average height and ginger with a rather common accent.
The look on the Doctor's face was bewildered. It was clear that he had a whole speech prepared for her but just couldn't put it across.
'And her' the common voice said pointing at Amy 'who's she'?
'Oh hi I'm-'
'NO' he interrupted raising his left hand in front of her face. 'Amy what did I say, do not speak to anyone!'
He faced the stranger, this time with a look of guilt and he said softly 'No. No I'm sorry I don't believe we know each other at all'.
'Oh thank god for that' she said calmly 'I hate forgetting a face, I'm doing it all the time'.
'Well lucky for me I never forget a face'.
'All right for you then' she giggled 'I have to go, I'm supposed to be staying with some friends for the weekend. Sorry I don't know why I told you that it's not like you care. Anyway, in case we meet again, I'm Donna'.
The doctor gulped the lump in his throat loudly. 'John Smith' he said and shook her hand.
As Donna walked away he glued himself to the same spot where they spoke and watched her.
'Ooh who's that doctor?' Amy said in teasing manner.
He still appeared guilty but now a lot more shock and disappointment accompanied the expression. 'She's just a, err - She's, she's nobody'. He said it so quietly it became a delicate whisper. How could he say that about her? She was everything.
Chapter two
The next day Amy had forgotten the rules the Doctor had applied to her even though Rory had been reminding her of them for the previous five minutes. The two of them walked to a local café and sat down for a cup of tea with two sugars in each. The café was small and plain, a few chairs and tables with salt and pepper centring and a counter at the top.
'Hey, isn't that the Doctor's friend over there?' Amy said.
'Well he said he didn't know her so no not exactly' Rory said correcting her.
'Shall we tell him she's here? Better yet, we should tell her where he is, take her to him'.
'No Amy, no. Bad idea'.
'Oh come on! Don't be so boring' said Amy rising out of her seat.
'Amy no it's a bad idea. Let's just go back, remember he meant what he said'.
'Fine. Fine. I feel like I've been grounded by you two or something' a pouting Amy said.
When they got back to the TARDIS they found that the Doctor had all ready arranged to leave. He was dressed in a tweed blazer and a blue shirt with a carefully knotted bow tie sitting neatly above his second from top button.
'Hey Doctor, guess who we saw'
'No time for games Amy, we're going we can't be here. Who did you see?'
'Your friend from yesterday. Why can't we be here?'
'Answers later. Who, who was it?' The Doctor's voice sounded shaky and panicky now.
'You know that Donna or whatever, the woman from yesterday'.
'Oh. That is not good. She can't be here.' The Doctor pronounced every syllable.
'Can't anyone be here?' Rory said.
'She can't be here because she's gone! Were any of you listening when she spoke? She's gone to stay with friends. She can't be here'.
'Well maybe she just came back, missed her train or something' Amy said.
'No. No. Did you look at her properly? She had all of her things, bags. She was in a rush. She was happy about it. She went away for the weekend'. The Doctor said the last sentence slowly and clearly.
'So, who was it then? At the café' Rory asked.
The Doctor and Amy both looked at him then looked at each other. 'We have to go now' he said.
The couple watched in silence as the Doctor did everything he could to get the TARDIS leaving faster. It roared and faded in and out of visibility. The TARDIS was not moving.
The Doctor starred up at the heart of the time machine. 'She knows' he whispered.
'What?' Rory and Amy said together.
'She knows' the Doctor repeated. 'She's not letting me leave'.
'This box is a she?' Amy questioned in puzzlement. 'Doctor honestly I can't believe you sometimes. Actually most times, but, this box is a she? How did you work that out?'
'Amy honestly I'm glad you're showing interest in her but we're in trouble'. The Doctor kept his voice soft and quiet when he spoke. 'Okay so we're staying here why? Something's stopping us leaving, something we need to do. My TARDIS loves me she wouldn't go against me'.
Rory turned to Amy and mouthed 'His he being serious?' This time Amy didn't complain about Rory's stupid question. It wasn't stupid at all, none of them could tell if he really was being serious or not. They couldn't see how they could love his time machine so much he would label it a gender.
'What are you two doing? Come on, things to do'.
'But Doctor, first you want to leave because we can't be here, now we have to stay and go looking for trouble?'
'No Rory not trouble. A solution if you will. We're not leaving until it's done'.
'Until What's Done!' Amy exclaimed.
The Doctor ignored her and went to haul open the big blue wooden doors. As the other two followed, he stepped out and once again, something was blocking his path. They stopped immediately bumping into each other. The air felt a lot hotter now than when they first arrived. It was an unexpected moment for which they were silent for, when they were stopped by this constant path blocker.
'Ouch why'd you stop? Ooh she found us then' Amy said anxiously.
'How long has she been standing there for?' Rory followed.
The Doctor turned slightly and spoke over his shoulder 'Not her, it'
'Hello again I'm-' Amy putting her hand out was interrupted by the Doctor's shouting of demands.
'AMY! I said do not speak to anyone and I mean it okay.'
'Who are you? Why are you here?' he said calmly. At this point both Rory and Amy backed away a little bit; just a few inches seemed to make all the difference.
'I'm Donna.' It said. This being had ginger hair and was an average height of an adult but the accent wasn't common in the slightest.
The Doctor looked into its eyes and moved his face closer. 'No you're not. Who are you?'
'I am Donna. Hello Doctor' it said and reached out an arm.
'Oh no you don't!' He said pushing Rory and Amy back into the TARDIS and following them in. He paced now. Round and round the centre of the machine he paced, tugging on his thick dark hair and fiddling with his bow tie. He could feel little drips of sweat racing down his face but he didn't wipe them away.
'He's actually running from this' Amy said to Rory.
'But he never runs' Rory replied. He looked over to the pacing man. He looked long enough to see what came across to be a small scared child.
'Doctor, you never run.'
The child stopped on the spot leaning on the control panel to maintain his balance. 'I'm always running' he admitted.
'Oh for goodness sake, just tell us. What is it with that woman or whatever she is and you? If you don't tell me now I'll go out there and ask her myself and maybe I'll actually get to tell her my name!'
'Fine. Okay. It's not her it can't be her because Donna is not here Donna is with a friend...'
'Yeah we know that bit' Amy added
'...Donna can't remember me she knows me but she can't she'll die'
'Hey! Slow down you're not making any sense' said the Scottish girl.
'Just, if she remembers me she'll die. That out there is not Donna okay it would be dying and it's not.'
'So what do we do?' Rory asked worriedly.
'We go back out there' he replied.
The doors of the box were yanked open and the Time Lord stood tall and ready. He first breathed in the air that was a bit cooler now. Then he realised, nothing was there. Where had it gone? Nothing was blocking their path this time. They walked out onto an alley way next to Barkingside Station and the path in front of them was clear. Everything in sight was normal. People were rushing and were far too busy to stop and notice the friend they had just brushed past. Expensive city cars passed, birds squawked and sang and the wind blew through the trees. That was normal.
Would they go looking for this being? Yes. They set off searching the area until they found it again. It sat alone in the café where Amy and Rory had mistaken it for Donna.
'Are we going in?' Amy asked the Doctor.
'No. Wait until it comes out, we'll be right here waiting' He said.
'Well I don't think you'll be waiting for long' Rory said pointing over the Doctor's shoulder.
He quickly spun around to see it directly in front of him, starring.
'Tell me, what are you doing here? What do you want?' The Doctor asked it.
'You are the Doctor' it said.
The Doctor straightened his tie and brushed his hair back with his hand. 'Yes, yes I am.'
'We want you'. The being spoke slowly in a monotone voice.
'Ahh well' The Doctor's eyebrows rose as well as a smirk on his face 'sorry to disappoint. So, anything else you want to tell me? Why Donna for instants? You could have picked any body and you choose Donna, what's going on there?'
'Doctor' Amy started, 'what do you mean it chose Donna?'
'They're Vulticulurs. They come from Pavo. They steal your memories if it helps them get near something they need. In this case, they're looking for me.'
'What? But Donna doesn't remember you, she can't.'
'To Donna everything we did never happened but the Vulticulurs are very precise. She can't remember forgetting me because it's like there was nothing to forget, but they remember. They take every memory you have. Even things you can't remember like when you were a baby or the song that was in your head and you still can't think of the name. In Donnas' mind she can't access the tiny part of her brain that contains the memory of us. Oh but the Vulticulurs, they're so clever, they have every little detail she knew about me'.
He pulled out a small metal instrument from his inside pocket and scanned the alien. It made a strange distinctive noise and let out a green light.
'But you're different to the rest aren't you' he said to it. 'You were made. Made in Donnas appearance and programmed to find me. All she needs is something to trigger her memory but you; you've got it all. Copied and pasted.'
'Doctor, if they've copied her memories...' Amy started,
'Then she's in danger'.
The doctor stood staring at the impersonator, constructing a plan all inside his head.
Donna was in danger. Imagine you had a clone of yourself who knew every detail about you and everyone you've ever met. Secrets you've kept and things you've done. They know where you live and they know your family who care for you so much they wouldn't dare think that somebody had replaced you, so they carry on thinking that maybe you've had a bad day so you're acting a little strange and eventually the clone will convince them and they'll live your life. They go everywhere you go. Have you ever felt that you've seen a twin of your friend? You think that they look exactly alike but you ignore it because you assume it's not possible and you carry on with your day. That's what your clone will do. They'll convince people they are the real you and you will slowly disappear, your friends and family, the local shop keeper, the old woman who used to baby sit you when you were a child, they will all stop noticing you and forget. But the Vulticulars on the other hand, will do much worse.
Chapter Three
The Doctor blinked. In those very few milliseconds the copy of Donna had gone but the Doctor, Amy and Rory stayed starring.
'Where did it go?' Rory asked 'It was right there and, and nothing happened you were starring at it and then I-I blinked and where did it go, it's gone'.
'Mind tricks' the Doctor replied. He said this in a dark serious manner. His face was empty of expression. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
After a short flight in the TARDIS the three of them landed in a quiet well-kept street. The Doctor was very particular about his landing space; it was exactly six meters away from where he wanted to be. And so he walked those six meters as the other two followed and he came to be at the front door of a house. He knocked a double-knock upon the thick glass. He saw a figure moving closer towards him so he straightened his bow tie and swept back his hair. The door opened and a woman stood there, rather short, with a bob hair cut, holding the lock on the back of the door.
'Hello you' the Doctor said enthusiastically with a smile.
Unfortunately the woman didn't appreciate it quite so much and she fainted hitting the floor with a thump.
'It's you! You're back' said an old man who came running in from the next room.
'Yes Wilfred. I am back. Could you just, you know, move her along, maybe away from me I don't think she's too happy with me right now' the Doctor said pointing at the fainted woman. 'Now, These are my friends, Amy and Rory, oh she's not my girlfriend, they're married but anyway you're wondering why I'm here and that is what I'm about to tell you so take a seat Wilfred. Rory make us a cuppa please and Amy...just, yeah'.
Rory served the mugs of tea around the room while the Doctor and Amy told Wilfred what had happened to his grand-daughter. The old man did not faint like the woman, but sat in silence for a while staring at the tray the teas were on in with his jaw hanging open.
'She'll be okay' Amy said.
'I suggest a code or something' the Doctor said. 'They have her memories but not her personality it's all different. Although if it's left long enough they could develop her personality so it needs to be done now.'
'W-w-well what sort of code am I meant to use? How will I know the difference?' the man stumbled on his words.
'Anyone who knows Donna will know the difference. You could use something to make her laugh or to confuse her, something that she can react to that the Vulticulars can't. They were programmed to find me, not to laugh. A bit sad because I like people making me laugh, that would be a good way to win me over but never mind.'
'Well come on then, my Donna is in danger we need to get out there right now!'
The Doctor turned to Rory and Amy softly giggling at the man's demands. 'You heard the man, come on we're off. Oh and don't worry about Sylvia. If I made her faint, she'll be out for a while'.
'Oh Doctor come on. Here again? No offence but I'm getting a bit bored of Barkingside Station now' Amy complained.
A voice was calling in the distance. 'Grand-dad!' it called 'Grand-dad!' The voice came running closer and closer to them and flung itself around Wilfred. 'How was it Grand-dad? Feels like you haven't been here for weeks'.
'What does she mean?' asked the Doctor.
'I donno' Wilfred replied. 'I went away for a week but that was about a month ago now. I've been here since, I haven't gone anywhere else'.
'Wilfred let go'
'But Doctor?'
'Wilfred! Let go, it's not Donna. The memories are mixed up they haven't been organized yet'.
'But you said the personality Doctor; it's her, that's her personality. That's what she's like. Donna always came running up to me when she was little, she still does it now'.
'Doctor' Rory said, 'how can you be so sure? All you've done is look at her, you-you haven't scanned her or anything'
'Rory's right, I mean I know you're the doctor and everything but you know, how can you tell just by looking?' Amy asked.
The Doctor looked down to the ground. He was calm and relaxed, but saddened all the same.
'Wilfred please let go. I know her as well as you do and, well we both know it's not her. Not really'.
'Err who is this man?' the alien asked.
'Don't worry sweet heart.' Wilfred comforted her, keeping her in his arms. 'Come on, let's get you home. We can take a nice walk.'
The Doctor tried to stop him. 'The real Donna is in trouble. And if you keep your arms wrapped round that much longer... I told you what will happen. You'll lose your real grand-daughter'.
'Oh Doctor. I've always trusted you with her; I've never trusted anyone else more. I always believe every word you say but this time, no. She's as real as can be. I'm taking her home where she belongs. Goodbye Doctor'.
'Wait!' Amy called after them.
'ARGH!' The Doctor roared and he was no longer relaxed or calm. The young boy inside him was visible again and he was terrified. His words could usually win over any sensible soul but the case had changed and he needed to work harder and faster to formulate a strategy to keep the real Donna safe.
In the TARDIS, Rory and Amy sat watching the Doctor stare at the heart of his box.
'If he doesn't have any ideas by now, she's in trouble. We're all in trouble' Amy said.
'It's okay. He'll think of something he always does' replied Rory.
'But what, what if she, it starts to remember him. It will find him, and then what?'
'Amy' the Doctor said, but she carried on.
'What is that just going to be the end of this? We're going to let that thing remember, and destroy us?'
'Amy' he said again. This time she took notice.
'Doctor, whatever that thing wants you for, it's going to take you away from here. Why are you not doing anything about it? Why are you letting this happen?'
'Because Amy, there's a slight chance the real Donnas' memory will be triggered okay. If she remembers me only for a second, I couldn't let that happen to her'.
He stood straight. His head up and his eyes wide open. The plan they had all been waiting for had finally struck him and the TARDIS took flight to its next destination.
'Well done Amy. I don't know how much longer I would've been standing there for like some kind of man without a plan if you hadn't said that. Rory you should join in with us a little more often'.
'What? Wait, so where are we going?' Rory questioned.
'Rory my boy, we're going back to Wilfred's' house.'
The Doctor appeared to be excited and Rory and Amy couldn't understand it.
Chapter Four
Before they knew it they were back on the street where they had landed perfectly earlier that day.
'Off you go Rory.' The Doctor gently shoved him out and Amy followed. 'Knock on the door, please. He won't open up if he knows it's me.'
Rory tried to think of an excuse quickly but his time ran out and he knocked on the door.
'Wilfred please' started Rory. 'He's doing his best. The Doctor's got an idea and I think it could be the one that saves us all, including Donna'.
'What's this idea then?' the old man asked.
'Oh well I don't know yet he hasn't told us but I know it will work.'
'How do you know that? He told me that my Donna wasn't real, how can you believe a man like that?'
'He's more than a man.' Amy interrupted. 'He's the one that everyone in this world trusts, the one that you used to. You let your grand-daughter travel the universe with him because you trusted him, so trust him now. Please.'
'...oh all right. Come in then, just be quiet. My daughter is still asleep and I don't want her waking up to see him again.'
All four of them sat down on the settee in the living room, waiting for the Doctor to spill his idea.
'So, where is she?' asked the Doctor.
'Why does she need to be in here? You never mentioned that before.'
'Oh Rory, Amy did you not mention it? It would be really helpful if she could come in here now Wilfred.'
'Donna, come in here please love.' The old man called. She walked in steadily looking at the people in the room.
'Hello Donna' the Doctor said. He reached his hand out but it was not shaken.
'Hello Doctor' it said.
Wilfred, Amy and Rory exchanged looks of alarm.
'Donna, do you know who this man is?'
'No Grand-dad. But I wish you would stop bringing all these people back with you. Is this one from bingo or something then?'
The man didn't reply and turned straight towards the Doctor.
'I don't understand, she just said hello to you. She called you Doctor. Doesn't that mean she remembers you?'
'She was programmed to find me' he said bluntly. 'Remembering me wouldn't affect it, only the real Donna. Around you it had to act like Donna but it can't control itself completely, not yet. It didn't sense you in the room right away; it looked straight at me first. Then it realised, that you were here and it had to change its act.'
'But, Donna. She was my Donna.'
'Where do you come from?'
'Doctor is that necessary?'
'Wilfred wait' he answered. He repeated the question 'Where do you come from?'
'Pav – Earth. London, Chiswick!'
'How old are you?'
'I'm twenty-two, five, eighteen. No.'
'What's your name?'
'Number six zero, wait. No. Donna. Six zero Donna, no. Just Donna.'
'Doctor, look at her' Rory said. 'Isn't that enough?'
'He needs to know. He needs to see it for himself; this is what he was letting into his life. Wilfred, I'm sorry but you had to see this but look at her. This is not Donna.'
'So where is she then? Where is she?' The old man began to stumble upon his words with worry.
'She's gone to stay with a friend. Did she not tell you?' Amy said to him.
'No. No she never went anywhere. She never said anything to Sylvia about it either. She's just been right here.'
Amy imposed a question on the Doctor. 'You. You knew about it didn't you.'
'Knew about what, where is Donna?' Rory asked.
'She's right here' the Doctor finally answered. 'Wilfred was right. She's right here and she's been here all along.'
'But the girl, when we first came to Barkingside station, the girl that stopped us. You said that was her. You said you knew her.' Rory stated.
'Rory-'
'I thought it was. I thought it was her until I scanned it. Donna never went to see a friend, the memories made it think that it had to but they were all mixed up. That's when you two saw it in the café the next day.'
'She, Doctor, she is female. She's not an 'it'.' Amy muttered.
'She was always going to be at that station. We never should have come but the TARDIS knew we had to.'
'Why that station? What was so important about that station that you knew you was going to meet her there?'
'I always meet her there' the Doctor said, with a touch of woe in his voice. 'When she was little, well, not so much little she was a bit older than what Amy was. But I met here there, it was our place.'
'That's why you left me waiting, for so long?' Amy asked agitatedly.
'Amy I'm sorry' he continued. 'She needed me. We only met a few times. Every time I brought her back, she had to forget me.'
'Doctor you never said before. You've known my Donna ever since she was little.'
'I feel like I've known you for a long time as well. Anyway, enough of that chat. We need to sort this out. We need to track down Donna right now.'
'She's here Doctor!' Wilfred exclaimed. 'She might not be right in this room, or in this house, but she's not far she's here.'
'Maybe you should look around.'
'Hold on. Where did she go? The mind tricks you said Doctor' Rory said. 'She's done it again.'
'Ah. Back to Barkingside Station it is.' said Amy.
Chapter Five
'Doctor, what's going to happen to her? Please just tell me. Be honest Doctor I need to know. She's my grand-daughter.'
'I don't know Wilfred.'
'But you have the answers to everything-'
I can't always know what everyone wants me to know. We just have to try. Oh by the way did you notice you've been asking me questions this entire journey.'
'We're here already?' the Scottish girl asked.
'...Time machine Pond.' The Doctor replied.
Once more, the four of them, the Doctor, Rory, Amy and Wilfred, set both feet out of the TARDIS and they were there. Barkingside Station.
'She should be here soon' said the Doctor.
'Hey, it's okay. Doctor this is you, it's your plan. Nothing's going to happen to her. Trust yourself once in a while.'
'Amy I think he trusts himself' Rory disputed.
'You'd be surprised.'
'Grand-dad is that you?' oh it is, oh Grand-dad you're back, about time.'
'Err do I have Deja Vu? Didn't that all ready happen?' Rory said in confusion.
'Memories in a loop, she can't handle it. She's not strong enough. Wilfred it's probably better if you don't speak to her right now.' The Doctor said cautiously.
'Doctor she needs help.'
'Oh my head, it's hurting. Grand-dad what is this? We need to find the Doctor we need him. We need to find the Doctor we need him.' The alien repeated.
'Oh sweet heart it will be all right.' Wilfred said in comfort as he held her on his lap whilst he was knelt to the ground. 'Rory, you're a nurse, can't you help her?'
'You know I can't I'm sorry. Doctor you must be able to do something.'
'Her brain needs to be wiped and renovated. It's not her fault. They set her up for it they made her that way, the Vulticulars. But it was too soon, she's not ready.'
'You're so young aren't you? Look at what they've done to her, to find me.'
'Doctor. Grand-dad we need to find the Doctor because we need him. My head hurts it really hurts. We want the Doctor. Grand-dad can you find him, please.'
The Doctor drew aside the left side of his tweed blazer, put his hand inside and pulled out the small metal instrument. With a flick it produced a green light and a loud humming sound. The Doctor guided the sonic screw driver around her head and moved it up and down her forehead between her eyes. He did so until she felt no more pain and she closed her eyes.
'The Vulticulars will come to take her away' the Doctor said. 'Oh Wilfred look, she's home.'
'Huh? Oh Donna love' Wilfred said startled.
'Oh, you all right Grand-dad? I just went to get that milk that you asked for' Donna replied. 'Who're your new friends?'
The Doctors' hearts skipped a beat each. How he wanted to say. He wanted her to know everything and travel with him again. He loved her accent, her humour and her fiery hair. He loved the way they met over and over. If only he could remind her. He missed her deeply. And he hated that from then on, the two words he would always want to tell her would become 'John Smith' as Wilfred said.
'Hi John I'm Donna' she said. She looked into his eyes for the smallest part of a second, but that was long enough for him to know that the memory of them two together was still with her, even if she was to never think of it, and he felt.
'Right, let's get the kettle on for you then. Nice meeting you.'
The Doctor did not reply he couldn't. He simply waved and watched them leave.
'What do we do now then?' Amy asked.
'Back inside you two' the Doctor said.
He leaned against the TARDIS as Rory and Amy went inside, and he breathed in the fresh air. Barkingside station was silent. The People of what were there weren't rushing, they were strolling. They smiled at the friends they carefully passed. There were no expensive city cars zooming on the roads. The birds rested in their nests of the trees that no wind blew through. Yes, Barkingside station was silent.