Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Summary: The team goes on a trek to check out a strange reading and get a little surprise when they get there.
Today was just destined to be a bad day.
First, McKay had spouted some drivel about needing to check out some power reading on another planet. When Sheppard had questioned him on the importance of it they, which included John, Todd, Ronan, and Teyla, had been treated to an entire lecture on how the universe would manage to rip a hole into its own reality and then they'd find themselves floating in the Twilight Zone (Whatever that was thought Todd.) if McKay didn't get to check out the reading.
"You'll be sorry then!" McKay had half screeched. "Don't come crying to me when the galaxy destroys itself because you wouldn't let me check out the power spike!"
"Alright!" Sheppard had snapped, thoroughly exasperated once again with Atlantis' ranking scientist.
They had been sitting around a conference table. Sheppard had been about ready to kill McKay as he gave his dire end-of-the-universe-as-we-know-it lecture. Teyla had smiled politely for the first half, but pregnancy had eventually reared its ugly hormonal head and she had begun to shoot glares at Sheppard that could be loosely translated as "Shut him up now or be prepared to lose some rather vital components of your male anatomy", which only further led to Sheppard's readiness to kill McKay.
Todd had tried (and failed due to McKay's inane chatter) to put himself into a trance in order to ignore the scientist. He was immensely jealous of the ex-Runner whom he was pretty sure had taught himself how to sleep with his eyes open and without snoring. Either that or he had learned how to meditate. Personally, Todd was voting for the former.
So after Sheppard's exasperation finally made itself clear they had found themselves in a jumper headed towards the planet, which was 3 hours away by jumper from the nearest stargate accessible world.
Three hours in a jumper. Three hours in a jumper with humans. Three hours in a jumper with a neurotic human by the name of Rodney McKay. Todd could feel one of his eyes twitch. Oh, this couldn't get any better!
What do you know? He was right. When they landed they realized that they were going to be hiking through a prickly pine forest on a desert planet where it was 90 degrees F in the shade and 105 degrees F out on the sand dunes.
McKay had of course, worried about his skin. "Do you realize the radiation levels outside?" he had practically shrieked. "I have a –"
"—fair complexion." Everyone else, including Todd, chorused.
"Yes Rodney we know." Sheppard stated warily. "To bad. Now get your butt in gear and let's go. It's three miles to the power reading that will apparently rip a hole in the fabric of time or whatever if you don't have a look at it."
"I still say it's worthless." Ronan grumbled.
"Most likely, but let him have his ego moment of the week." Teyla had murmured back, careful to keep from being heard by Rodney, who was still whining to Sheppard.
"Why do you always park so far away?"
"Well we can't park the jumper in a tree now can we?" Sheppard snapped back. Todd took comfort in the fact that if he had to suffer through this than judging by the throbbing vein in his "brother's" forehead, he wasn't alone.
His gloating was cut short when the jumper opened and he stepped out onto the planet. It was, as the humans called it, 'frying hot'. He hated extreme heat. Honestly, weren't the nice, cold hives a big enough clue? Oh, this was going to be a bad trip.
However, they all managed to make it through the trek without any 'accidental' feedings or shootings, much to everyone's surprise, although Teyla had informed both Todd and Ronan that if they glared at each other any harder then they were going to wilt the surrounding foliage.
When they had arrived at their destination it turned out that the device, with its unique Ancient architectural look, was powered by something that wasn't as powerful as a ZPM, and therefore, Rodney had conjectured, wouldn't be ripping any holes in the galaxy any time soon.
He had received four sets of glares upon this statement and had promptly started on another lecture on what would have happened if he hadn't checked it out since the inanimate object could clearly tell when Dr. Rodney McKay of Atlantis had investigated it, and wouldn't dare do anything dubious without his express consent. Sheppard was quick to cut him off.
"Well since we're here, what does it do?"
"I don't know! The power isn't even on. How could I possibly know?" the cranky scientist had replied. "Only one way to find out I suppose." Todd had seen fit to intervene at this point.
"Dr. McKay, surely it would be more prudent to know what this device does before we turn it on?"
"We won't learn what it does unless it's on!" McKay had replied.
"I've got to agree with him on this." Ronan said grudgedly while nodding in Todd's direction.
"Rodney, let's wait—" Sheppard started, only to be interrupted by Rodney.
"Okay here we go!" and with that he hit a button on the device. Nothing happened.
It actually didn't look like it was doing anything, Todd thought as they all stared at it.
BOOM!!
Okay, on second thought maybe it had been doing something, he conceded as he waved his hands around trying to clear the plumes of smoke from around him. The first thing he saw when the smoke thinned was Teyla.
She looked relatively unharmed so he continued to search through the smoke for the others. Oh, there was the Runner. How ……. fortunate…that he was unharmed. Now where were McKay and Sheppard?
The smoke cleared out more, allowing Teyla to join him in the search for the two missing humans. Ronan, who had been closer to the device, took a moment to catch his breath and then joined them.
"I do not see Colonel Sheppard or Dr. McKay anywhere." Todd informed the others.
"I think I see one of them." Teyla replied, somewhat quietly. When Todd glanced in her direction he realized she was staring in something akin to horror at a crumpled figure in front of her.
"Well it certainly looks like Dr. McKay." She said as she looked down at the figure that was looking around timidly. Apparently the smoky environment wasn't up to McKay's expectations, because he opened his mouth and a high pierced screaming began to issue forth from it. The screeching and crying was awful.
"Well it certainly sounds like Dr. McKay." Todd told her, earning him a glare from the pregnant woman, while he pressed his hands against his sensitive ears. Really, the screeching was worse than when two queens went at it!
Teyla knelt down in front of the distraught scientist trying to calm him down. "Dr. McKay? Rodney?" When neither of these worked she tried something else. "Meredith?" she asked hesitantly. The screeching stopped, but the sobs continued. "Meredith, it'll be okay. We'll fix it."
Poor five-year-old Meredith Rodney McKay wasn't so sure. He was hot, hungry, and wanted a nap. Not to mention the fact that there seemed to be a big evil-looking green alien right by him. Looks like Area 51 had another breakout. Well at least there was a nice lady in front of him. Maybe she would take him home? And he supposed the big caveman would beat up the alien if it tried to eat him. Yup, that sounded good.
Ronan and Todd meanwhile were staring in wide-eyed, fascinated, awe-struck horror at the small child in front of them. As Todd felt a tug on his trench coat he knew that there was no way his luck could be that bad. "Ignore it and it will go away. Ignore it and it will go away." He chanted to himself.
Another tug. Well, damn.
With absolute dread he looked down—and right into the bright eyes of four-year-old John Sheppard. John practically beamed up at him, while he held a fold of Todd's trench coat in one hand and waved frantically with the other up at the stunned wraith.
"Hi big brother!"
Oh yes. Today was just destined to be a bad day.
A/N: Review pls. Also, I know I normally do one-shots, but I might actually make this a chaptered story, so if you all like it a lot let me know and I'll add on to it. And to all my deviant-art viewers, I would really like a picture of the last scene so if anyone gets an inspiration from this then draw away. (It is a good possibility that I could be talked in to writing a humor one shot on something you wanted to see done.) Cheers!