Chapter 1: Looking for a good time

"Man, i need a drink." Said Michael Hazard after a long day of hunting resources and salvage. He was looking forward to sit back an enjoy what Citadel has to offer. He entered a bar called "Krogan's clutch". Above the sign was a hologram of a Krogan that was holding a glass and which said. "Drink first, ask questions later." which, incidentally, is owned by a krogan. He sat in one of the tables and ordered an hanar liquor. As he waited for his drink, he turned on his omni tool to check his bank account.

"10000 credits for finding Palladium and sending it to the Alliance? Good enough." Thought Michael when looked his account. To him, it was a good pay.

Asari waitress then walked next to him, placing three drinks on the table. "I don't recall ordering three drinks." He said to the waitress. "The first one is from a human lady over there." Told the waitress and pointed her head to the blonde woman who was sitting at the bar. Michael turned his head to her and saw her smiling at him.

"And the second one?" He asked while raising his eyebrow. Waitress said to him in a flattering tone. "I'm sure you can figure it out handsome." She winked and went back to work.

As long as Michael can remember, there always was something about him that got the attention of women, whatever the race. He even had a few turian ladies hit on him on occasion and one krogan, but that's another story. Michael was never quite sure should he consider it a curse or a blessing or both. In any case, Michael decided to go to the woman at the bar. He approached her and spoke to her politely. "I hear you're the one I should thank for the drink miss?" Woman turned to him and said. "The name's Monica sugar, and you?."

"Michael Hazard." Answered Michael.

"Oh? With a name like that surely a guy like you must has it's... hazard's." Said Monica while checking him out.

Michael replied. "I've had my share of trouble. Comes traveling around the galaxy."

She then made a seductive look and said. "Now you got me curious."

They talked until suddenly human male entered the bar. When he saw Michael and Monica, he approached them while saying to Michael. "Yo! That's my girl you're talking with!"

"Back off Butch, this is why I broke up with you. You get so jealous when I'm with some guy even if it's a friend." Said Monica who was clearly annoyed.

Guy obviously didn't get the message. "No I'm not! I just don't want that you hanging around with losers like him."

Michael said confidently. "Says a guy who doesn't have the balls to look straight into krogans eyes."

The krogan bartender then looked at Butch which scared him. Butch tried to act tough. "I'm not taking this crap." He then pointed to Michael "You! I'm gonna kick your ass and make sure you won't touch her again." He took a empty bottle from one of the tables and began to attack Michael. Michael blocked the attack with his left arm, placed his right hand behind Butch's head and slammed him on the counter, causing him stumble on one of the tables which angered three other patrons and Butch also, surprisingly, managed to stand up after the hit he received.

At this point things slowly started to heat up and Michael thought that now is a good time to leave. He quickly pointed in the opposite side of the bar and shouted. "Holy crap! Is that female krogan?" Everything in the bar stopped dead and people looked to the direction where Michael pointed and he quickly gulped his drinks and ran.

After a brief silence, Butch said. "I can't believe we fell for that." Everyone in the bar said ''uh-huh'' in unison and bartender simply shooked his head, pitying their stupidity.

A few meters later Michael hid himself in a corner and was panting heavily and said . "I can't believe everyone fell for that" He then walked to the nearest bench to rest. As Michael rested, he began to hear someone singing in a distance. Singer also sounded very drunk as well. Michael looked to his right and saw a purple skinned asari who, judging from her stumbling walk and half empty whiskey bottle in her hand, was very wasted. She also was singing Monty Python's Philosophers Song.

"Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrick Hegel and Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout raising of the wrist. SOCRATES HIMSELF WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED!"

The asari sat next to Michael with her head waving side to side. She raised her head and said "Damn, can't remember how the rest went."

Michael was a bit shocked because he's never seen an asari so damn drunk in his life, and he was used to seeing asari as civilized people. She reeked of alcohol and looked like she was going to pass out any moment. He also noticed that she was wearing old 20th century human clothing. Black leather jacket with a white tank top under it, black biker boots and dark blue jeans. Her facial markings were white and had an tribal like pattern.

"You seem to be in a good mood." Said Michael sarcastically.

"I got fired as a bodyguard." She replied.

Michael got curious "What happened? Did the person you're supposed to protect got killed?"

She raised her finger at him. "Actually, to be precise *hic* I sorta did too good of a job" She took a swig and continued. "I knocked up the matriarch's daughter."

"Say what?" Said Michael in surprise. "How the hell that happened?"

She lifted her shoulders and said in uncaring manner. "Wish I knew, I was so drunk that time everything's a blur."

"Nothing at all?" he asked.

Asari then made a very smug look in her face. "I do recall that she was coming on to me and I was more than happy to oblige."

Michael laughed. "And people say I'm an opportunist."

"That's me!" She shouted happily as she raised her bottle to the air. She was silent for a moment then she suddenly wrapped her arm around Michael's neck, dragging him close to her face. She began to look embarrassed. "I know this is weird and sudden and weird but *hic* can I spend a night at your place?" Then let off a nasty belch straight to his face.

"Excuse me?" He asked while holding his nose. "Well, I got kicked out of my apartment as well 'cause I forgot to pay the rent and I already managed to blew off most my cash on bar's and a little "quality time" with the consort. So here I am, drunk, broke and homeless." She explained, then she started to look very ill until she suddenly stood up and ran to the plant that were next to the bench and began vomiting in it. She paused for a minute, then vomited again.

When she finally stopped Michael asked her. "You okay there?" She gave him a thumbs up and replied. "I'm fine now..." She then passed out and collapsed on the floor. Michael rubbed his forehead, thinking that who ever takes care of those plants won't be very happy when they find what's in there. He looked at the passed out asari. She snored like an truck driver and while he could've simply left her there, but his conscience didn't exactly allow him. He lifted her over his shoulders and muttered. "Shit, you're heavy as well."

As Michael carried her, he heard someone yell. "WHAT THE FUCK!" in the distance. That's when he began to move a little faster before he whined. "I just wanted to have a good time."