The Pink Tutu Party
By Fox_goddess and
RavenWillow
[It's another wonderful history class for Raven and Fox.]
Raven: We need to do something!
Fox: Always! Let's have another party!
R: Yeah, but I'm getting kind of sick of leather pants…
F: How about pink tutus? Those are always amusing. Well, let's get some
tutu action here!
*poof!* [Snape appears in his pink tutu.]
Snape: Oh no, not you again! [Looks down] AAAH!
F: That's right! But you won't be alone today. Welcome the Weasley
Brothers!
*poof!*
Ron: You! Why God, why?!
The Twins: Pink tutus…[they shrug] Oh well.
Charlie: Well, this is new…
Bill: Hey, what happened to my leather pants?
Percy [sobbing]: I'm ruined! My robes! My beautiful robes!
F: Oh, quiet you! Try something different!
R: Now, let's bring back the life of the party! *poof!* Harry! We've
missed you.
Harry: YOU! You left me hanging from a chandelier for 3 hours! And now
you put me in a tutu? I hate you!
F: Harry dear, you were the one who drank all that vodka.
Harry: Oh yeah…
***pointless flashback
scene***
Hey, vodka! … [SCENE MISSING] … I love you guys, everyone! … [SCENE
MISSING]
***end pointless
flashback scene***
Harry: I see.
F: Hey Harry, want some vodka? Hmm?
Harry: Ack, no! [starts twitching convulsively]
R [pouting]: Fine. We'll just bring in the other drunk!
*poof!*
Sirius: Hey, you girls again! Hey, booze! HEY! A tutu! [Grabs a drink]
R [with an evil grin]: Excellent…
Percy [prancing by, singing]: I feel pretty, oh so pretty…
F & R: Ri-i-i-ight…
Charlie: Can I have my normal clothes back?
R: No! This is a Pink Tutu Party, and in your tutu you shall stay.
Ron: So how come you two aren't in tutus?
R [threatening look]: Quiet, you…
F: We refrain from wearing the party attire so as not to scare the
bigeezes out of you all.
Fred and George: It can't be that bad…can it?
F: If you so wish… *snap*
All: AAH! THE HORROR!
*snap*
F: Better? I thought so.
Snape: All these Gryffindors…[shudders]
R [sighs]: Oh, FINE!
*poof!*
Draco: Ugh, pink is so not my colour.
Sirius [swaying drunkenly]: Lookit that kid! He's in a tutu!
Harry [angrily]: So are all of us!
Sirius: Oh yeah…[grabs another bottle of vodka]
F: We need more people! This party needs some more sex-crazed females
to really get going. Muahaha!
*poof!*
[Enter Raven & Fox's friends Tinker & Dragon's Angel]
DA: DRACO! Come on, let's get you out of that tutu [mischievous grin].
Draco: Sure! [Realizes what DA meant] Oh my…
Tinker: Well, what about me?
F: Easily remedied. Tinker, I give you your evil guy!
*poof* [Enter Tom Riddle]
Tom [pointing at his tutu]: OK, who's responsible for this?
Draco [gasping for air]: Help me!
R: Well, this is going nowhere…
F: I agree. Pink tutus aren't as entertaining as I thought they would
be.
R: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
[Evil grins from Raven and Fox]
*snap* [A swarm of rabid ferrets appears]
All: AAAH!
[Chaos ensues]
Sirius: Woah, ferrets! Woah, beer! Woah, the floor!
Harry [singing longingly]: When I was 17, I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID. My name was Brian
McGee. I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was 17…
Ron: Harry, you're only 15.
Harry: Uh, yes…yes, of course [adjusts his tie and looks around with
shifty eyes]
F: Where did you get that tie?
R: Bill, there's a rabid ferret on your butt.
Bill [looks down]: I see.
F: It's so sad how a party can be torn apart by something as simple as
rabid ferrets.
Bill: I think I need to go to the hospital…
F: No you don't.
[Bill collapses on the floor]
F: Oh well. [shrugs] PAR-TAY ON DUDES!
Sirius: Wait a minute, that's my line.
F: Tough shit!
R [steps in front of everyone and speaks to the wall]: And now for
something completely different.
Harry: Hu?
***pointless movie ripoff
section***
Tom Riddle: You must learn that evil will always triumph, because good
is dumb.
Ron: I am a Shrubber. They call me Roger the Shrubber.
Charlie [singing]: Always look on the bright side of life…always look
on the lighter side of life…
George: They've gone to plaid!
Fred: I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that! Everybody
knows that!
Harry: You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them
together!
Sirius: She's a witch! She turned me into a newt! [he receives several
strange looks] …I got better…
Percy: What…is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?
R: I think we need to end this…
***end***
R: Well…that was interesting.
F [looking at Bill]: Maybe we should do something about him. [Pokes
Bill with her wand. He doesn't move.]
[Snape enters with a wheelbarrow, banging a wooden spoon on a pot.]
Snape: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
R: And the solution presents itself.
[Fox hoists Bill over her shoulder]
R: Here you are.
Bill [faintly]: I'm not dead.
Snape: What?
R: Nothing. Here you go. [Fox starts to put him on the cart]
Bill: I'm not dead.
Snape: He says he's not dead.
F: Yes, he is.
Bill: I'm not!
Snape: He isn't.
R: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
Bill: I'm getting better!
R: No, you're not - you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Snape: Oh, I can't take him like that - it's against regulations.
Bill: I don't want to go in the cart!
F: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Snape: I can't take him...
Bill: I feel fine!
F: Oh, do us a favour...
Snape: I can't.
R: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
Bill: I think I'll go for a walk.
F: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you
can do?
Bill: I feel happy! I feel happ –
[Snape hits Bill over the head with his pot.]
R: Thanks!
[Fox puts Bill on the cart and Snape rolls away.]
Sirius: Woah…I can see the music!
R [snatching the bottle away]: That's enough for you!
F [looking around]: Uh oh…
[The rabid ferrets are wreaking total havoc. Bits of pink tulle are
flying rampant.]
F: Well, I suppose we should put a stop to this.
Fred: You're sending us back?
George: But, we like it here!
Ron: Minus the rabid ferrets.
Draco: And the crazy girls…
Charlie: The food's good.
Percy: And the clothing's great!
Sirius [stumbling around, singing]: La la la la la Macarena. HEY
Macarena!
F: Raven, why do our parties always turn out this way?
R: I guess we'll never know
F: Well, we'll see you at the next party.
*poof!*
F: So what now?
R: I don't know…a Naked Party?
F: Sounds good to me. Let's go stock up on some booze first.
R: Good idea.
[They exit]
Harry: Aw damn, why does this always happen? Well, I guess I'll just
wait until they come back… Oh, hello Mr Ferret, how are – AAAH!
***
Fin
Raven's A/N: Oh God, those Monty Python rip-offs were horrible,
weren't they? Yes, this story lacks originality, but I thought all those scenes
and lines just fit well…I won't do it so badly the next time, I promise. I watch
too much TV…Damn writers and their hilarious plots…*grumbles* I think I'll go
eat some prunes…
