"What do you think you're doing, idiot?!"
"...Finding a way to get us out, idiot." Izaya mocked. He messed with the door handle a bit, trying to pick at the lock, but to no avail.
"...Let me try." Shizuo muttered bitterly, watching as Izaya stepped aside with a shrug. He reached out to twist the knob.
It broke off.
"...Nice job. Idiot."
Izaya tsked, then went back to trying at the door itself.
He used a plastic card from his wallet and tried to slide it down the crack.
Nothing.
He tried pulling the door from the now-empty socket with his fingers.
Nothing again.
"There has to be another way out of here. Obviously, this door is useless." Izaya sighed, backing off.
"...Well, maybe it...isn't a door at all..."
"...Huh?"
Shizuo was saying something...rather thought-provoking.
"I just said, maybe it isn't really a door. Maybe someone just put it there to mess with us." Shizuo approached the door, kicking it again. It dented, but other than that, it didn't fall down. If there really was an exit behind it, wouldn't it have fallen out into it?
"...So then. Where do you suggest that we look for an exit? It's bad enough having woken up here with no recollection of what even happened."
"...Well, I was trying to kill you..."
"...What's new." Izaya just waved his hand towards Shizuo as a sign of being annoyed. "Very informative, Shizu-chan."
"...Shuddup you bastar-"
"Yes yes, 'bastard flea'. Or whatever you might come up with this time. But let me remind you that we're currently stuck in a room with each other, with no apparent exit. So, until we find a way out, just bear with it...and cooperate."
Shizuo opened his mouth to rebel, but ended up just giving in. Izaya was right...even if Shizuo did hate being trapped here with the worst person possible.
"...Fine. But anyway...if you're tryin' to figure out what happened. I was trying to kill you, like usual. Chasing you...then we ended up in some building. Then there was a weird noise and...that's all I got."
"..."
Well then, perhaps Izaya shouldn't have interrupted Shizuo in the first place... He was actually pretty insightful...when he wanted to be...
"...Now that I think about it. That's what I can remember. The noise. It was almost like a screech from an engine...or..."
He paused.
"...Perhaps that was the vehicle used to transport us here. Wherever 'here' is..."
Shizuo nodded with narrowing eyes. "...But...what do you think. Were we drugged or something?"
Izaya frowned. "...Well, if your head doesn't hurt, and mine doesn't, either, then we clearly weren't knocked out with a physical tool. Drugged is more plausible, though, shouldn't our bodies feel weak? That's how it usually is..."
Shizuo listened to the flea, soon frowning as well. "...You know...quite a bit about this, don't you. As if...you've dealt with it before..."
"...If you're accusing me of conducting kidnappings, then you really think lowly of me, don't you." Izaya just flapped his coat's edge to and fro as he moved his torso in the same manner.
"...That's not it, actually." Shizuo leaned against the wall. "...What I meant was...you've dealt with these before. As in, you were the victim. Am I right?"
"...Oh." Izaya put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "...Yeah...a few times..."
"..." Shizuo was quiet for a long while. Pondering.
This new information was...actually rather disturbing...
The flea was intelligent, Shizuo couldn't deny that. He was really, really clever and sly...and he knew his way around a lot of tough scenarios.
But...he'd been kidnapped this much... How was that even possible?
"...You're not the only person out to kill me, you know. I also happen to have a price on my head. Maybe next time you try to kill me, you could turn me in to a local gang and get a hefty reward for your marvelous deed. Wouldn't that be fantastic?" It was laced with sarcasm, of course. But Shizuo didn't really detect it fast enough.
"...Not really. If I kill you, then that's that. I'm not looking for some reward from someone else. The only reward is seeing that annoying smile wiped off of your face." Shizuo muttered.
"...Ouch." Izaya sighed. "Is my smile really that insulting? Last I heard, smiling was a rather positive thing. Or does Shizu-chan despise happiness?"
"...It's only you. If you're happy, then clearly you caused some annoying shit to happen."
"...Mm. Only me, huh..." Izaya did smile to himself, and Shizuo noticed. But despite what he had just said...this smile didn't look...or seem...annoying...
Weird.
"...Well... Now that we've established your drive to destroy me, let's go back to the original task at hand. At least we have some sunlight, so let's use that to find an exit." Izaya went back to having a serious look on his face, walking away from Shizuo and touching the walls...knocking on them.
Shizuo just sighed, letting the flea do...whatever the hell that was.
_
An hour had passed by, and the sun was going down.
Shizuo touched his stomach, which had been growling for some time now. His mouth also felt dry... He really needed some food and drink.
Izaya was on the floor on the other side of the room, laying down with his back turned to the other. He hadn't spoken in quite some time, which was admittedly quite nice, but also...it made Shizuo worry. A quiet Izaya couldn't be good, because he could either be plotting something...or perhaps he was dying.
In this case, a dead Izaya might not be so great. Shizuo did, he hated to admit, need Izaya to get out of here.
"...Oi. Flea." Shizuo stood up, cautiously walking over to the unmoving male. "...What are you doin-..." He finally got a glimpse at Izaya's face.
He was sleeping.
'...Way to scare me, idiot.' Shizuo thought, just sitting against the wall nearby and closing his eyes.
"I hope you don't plan to keep laying there and be useless. You're the one with the intelligence here, so you'd better wake up soon so we can get out of here." He spoke softly, still allowing the informant to actually rest. It was better than starving, Shizuo supposed.
But it was all the more irritating.
_
Izaya awoke to a loud thumping sound.
He opened his eyes, rubbing them with a yawn, before he realized what he was hearing.
Shizuo was currently kicking at the wall on his side of the room, trying to get it down.
Izaya started to panic.
What if that alerted their kidnappers? Or, what if the ceiling caved-in onto them? Shizuo would probably survive, but not Izaya!
He stood up with a glare, heading over to Shizuo and clenching onto his arm.
"That's enough." His hold was almost instantly shaken off.
"No, it's not. I'm getting out of here, and if you wanna stay here, that's up to you. Then you can either come with, or rot here all alone, for all I care."
"I don't care if you happen to care or not. But I'm clearly the more responsible one in this room. You'll alert whoever kidnapped us and we'll be in even more trouble! If they managed to take even you down in the first place, they can do it again."
Shizuo slowly lowered his fist, turning his head away. "...Fine. But you think of a better way out of here. Because this is my only way out."
"I already did find a way out! If you would've just calmed down and listened-"
"You found a way out?" Shizuo stood up straight, looking at his enemy with narrowed eyes. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"..." Izaya just lowered his head. "...Unbelievable. What did I just say about that."
Shizuo thought for a moment, then he just stretched his arms a bit. "...Okay. Where did you find the way out?"
"...Here. Earlier, when you went over to that corner to rest." Izaya walked towards the wall, giving it a soft knock. It actually made a sound...
"...Hollow."
"Exactly. So, if you would be so kind as to kick this spot on the wall, we're all set to go."
"...How do you know for sure that this will work?"
"Just try it. It wouldn't kill you to try, would it?"
"...No. Guess not." Shizuo looked at the wall, gesturing for Izaya to move aside.
Then, he gave it a kick, and...
His leg went through the wall, some rubble surrounding the place which he kicked. But, it was still too small...
"...Again?"
"Yeah."
Shizuo kicked higher, and a few more times, making a human-sized exit for the two of them. He then pulled his leg away, dusting off his pant leg.
"Alright...there doesn't seem to be any light coming from this area... But it's dark enough that we know there has to be some sort of a tunnel..."
Shizuo nodded his agreement to Izaya's words, and he walked forward, looking around. There was some dust from the fading assault of the wall, so he had to squint.
But as it cleared, he went forward.
"There is a tunnel...looks like it." Shizuo walked farther in, and before Izaya knew it, he was completely alone in the room.
"...Wait...!" He muttered, running after Shizuo and into the darkness...
It seemed like minutes had gone by, but it had only been less than a minute when Izaya suddenly made contact with something soft.
'...What the...'
He felt around the softness, his hands holding onto it as it felt oddly nice compared to the darkness surrounding him. Much like a source of comfort for the night for a child trying to not be scared.
"...You done groping me yet?"
Oops.
This was...a person.
Or more precisely.
Shizuo.
Izaya almost immediately let go, backing away a bit awkwardly.
Well, he knew he didn't really touch anywhere...remotely inappropriate... Because that might make it worse.
But then again, he didn't know that for certain.
"...Sorry."
"My chest already has enough violation from you. I don't need anymore marks."
"...Yeah, sorry..."
Wait.
"...Huh?"
Marks? What marks?
"...You really are an idiot. When we first met that day in high school, and you sliced my chest. I got a permanent mark. So don't even try to add to that. It's bad enough that I might have to explain a large scar on my chest to someone in the future...and who it's from."
"..." Izaya had a dumbfounded expression on his face, but it couldn't really be seen in the dark. He could just barely make out the lining of Shizuo's form, but other than that... Nothing.
Despite that.
He had no idea he had left a scar on his enemy. He thought Shizuo healed quickly...and perfectly. He had no idea...absolutely no idea...that something didn't heal as perfectly as he had otherwise thought?
But then, Izaya replayed the second thing Shizuo had said.
Explain the scar...to whom?
"...and who would you explain the scar to, Shizu-chan? Your beloved brother, I'm sure, already knows. Shinra, of course knows. Celty probably knows. Ironically enough, I'm the last to know and I'm the one who actually left it?"
"...Not that it's any of your business. But if I ever end up with someone. I gotta explain this to them since they'll probably wonder what the hell happened to leave a scar like this."
"...Shizu-chan ending up with someone. You mean, falling in love?" Izaya almost found that comical.
But then. It somewhat started to sting a bit.
Love.
That word hurt.
He loved his humans.
Ah, that felt better.
Love, love, love.
He loved his humans.
But they didn't love him.
Even so, that didn't stop Izaya from his love.
But whenever he remembered...he wasn't loved back.
He wasn't loved.
It stung again.
"Why're you so quiet, flea? I half expected you to make some annoying joke about it. Or at least laugh."
"..."
Izaya just quietly coughed, putting a hand onto his stomach. He was hungry, and it was now finally catching up to him. But he was also craving water.
"...Thirsty." He muttered, then felt around for Shizuo before walking in that direction past him.
In truth, it was a combination of things. He just didn't want to talk about it.
And the very thought of his enemy finding someone to love...and who loved him in return... Why the hell did that hurt so much?
Perhaps it was Izaya's wavering jealously. He knew people liked Shizuo and weren't scared of him, despite his super strength. Shizuo had friends. And family who cared...maybe.
But Izaya.
He had no friends. Even Shinra could hardly be called a friend.
He was hated, despised.
And his family...his own sisters didn't care if he was alive or left dead in a pile of garbage.
Izaya didn't want to admit it, but being locked away for a couple days really made him rethink his reality. Especially because he never knew if this might be it. If this might be the end for him...and his enemy.
Shizuo felt a hand drag across his waist, and then he saw Izaya's form walking onward.
That was a...strange response.
"...Izaya." Shizuo just followed him. This silence...was slightly worrying.
"...What." Izaya responded, sounding quite bitter.
"...Um." Wow, that was new. He'd never heard Izaya sound like that before. "...Never mind. Just. You aren't...yourself?"
"...and you care, why?" Izaya went on walking. Not really paying much attention. "...Just kidding. Of course you don't care. But I want to get out of here. I'm sick of being trapped. And I'm especially sick of being trapped here with you." The bitterness came back almost tenfold.
"..." Shizuo...didn't really know how to respond to that. Normally, he would have yelled or thrown something to show his emotion. But...he honestly didn't know what to even say. "...What are you-"
"You know what. I'll grant your wish. I'll leave Ikebukuro. I'm not happy coming there, I was crazy to think I could be. Then you're free to be with your friends and family without worrying about throwing anything at me. Oh, and you're especially free to be with your lover or whoever you might pick up in the future. I'm done. Absolutely done."
"..." That was it.
Shizuo reached for Izaya, feeling the hood of his jacket and giving it a tug.
He then slammed him against the wall...
...Or at least, he tried to.
They ended up falling, Shizuo on top of Izaya. But no floor ever came.
Instead, they just kept on falling. When Shizuo realized this, his body almost instinctively formed a protective hold around Izaya's body.
They kept on falling...
Further...
...and further...
_
Shizuo was the first to wake.
And he almost instantly snapped his eyes wide in alert when he came to the horrifying realization.
They were back in the exact same room they had just escaped from.
And what was more, the hole he had kicked into before was completely sealed.
He started to sit up, when he noticed a heavy weight against his body.
He managed to sit up completely, but he looked in his arms.
Izaya was there.
Unconscious, but still there, nonetheless.
Shizuo looked the informant over. He had a few scratches, but nothing horrible. He also placed his ear to Izaya's chest.
His pulse was alright.
Shizuo very carefully felt over Izaya's limbs. His ankles...his legs... Nothing broken there. He delicately pressed Izaya's ribs...they were alright as well. He felt his arms, from his shoulder to his wrists. Nothing broken there, either.
He then placed his fingers over Izaya's hands, feeling them with a quiet, concentrated stare.
They were fine...
But also...
Shizuo found himself holding that slightly small hand in his.
It was kind of...weird...
Holding someone's hand.
Izaya's skin was quite cold, but somehow Shizuo suspected that was normal for the informant. His chest had been warm, and his neck...
Shizuo was just feeling all over Izaya to check for injury. He didn't know what possessed him to do that, but...
It was just natural to worry about another person in a life-or-death situation, he had decided.
But touching someone...
It really was weird.
Though it certainly wasn't...bad...
"...Flea. Wake up..." Shizuo nudged the raven, leaning down and pressing his ear back to Izaya's chest.
...Wait...
His pulse...
It was really, really faint.
Oh no.
"...Izaya...wake up..."
Shizuo sat Izaya up, gently patting his face.
"You gotta wake up. Don't leave me here by myself. I don't know what to do like you do..."
No response.
"..." Shizuo gave Izaya's body a light squeeze.
"...Dammit. This wasn't supposed to happen."
He gently placed Izaya onto the floor, then he stood up.
"...DAMMIT! LET US OUT!"
Shizuo ran against the wall with his fists raised to his chest, colliding with the wall and falling back as he created some rubble.
But the moment he backed away from it... It was a full wall again.
As if nothing had happened to it.
"...What..."
Shizuo began to tear up from utter frustration. He couldn't believe this...he just wanted to be let out... He didn't want to be trapped!
"...Let us...out..." His hands slid down the wall as his body sunk to the cold floor, onto his knees.
He'd never felt so helpless in all of his life.
He should be able to break through walls...to use his strength to escape.
He should be able to do anything...to be the beast Izaya had always called him.
But now...right now...
He couldn't do anything.
Izaya would probably be laughing at him...but...the flea was on the floor nearby, motionless and silent.
If Shizuo didn't find a way out...Izaya might be-...
"..." Shizuo stood quietly, wandering back over to Izaya. He sat next to him, his hands pressing to Izaya's chest, feeling for a pulse once more.
Just that reassurance that he wasn't completely alone...
Ah...
He wasn't alone just yet.
And he wasn't going to let that happen.
But...Izaya was so...cold...
"...Hold on just a little bit longer." Shizuo muttered, lifting Izaya's unconscious body, walking towards a corner and sitting down.
He gently laid Izaya into his lap, supporting his upper-body and pressing him to his chest. Shizuo knew that this way, at least, he wouldn't be completely helpless. If he could help someone to live...then that was something.
Even if that someone were Izaya.
-
Shizuo had eventually situated himself so that he was lying beside the informant. He had found that this helped much more than simply letting him sit in his lap, so he took advantage of warming up the other male in a more productive fashion.
In his normal state-of-mind, this would be something he'd never ever do. Something he would reject instantly in complete and utter disgust.
At least, the thought of it.
But actually doing this...even if it were his enemy. It didn't feel as bad as he had thought.
It was just...one person...warming up another person. In a time of dire need.
This was life-or-death.
That was what Shizuo kept telling himself.
He then remembered their little discussions earlier. If they could even be called that.
More like...arguments.
Izaya had sounded quite...bitter, and cold, back there. Shizuo hadn't really understood it, but he was starting to try. He wanted to try to understand, because it really irked him not knowing what Izaya might have been trying to say to him.
"..."
When had it happened?
Right...Shizuo had mentioned that scar on his chest. Izaya had already seemed quite irritated with having been the 'last' to know he had left it, especially because he was the one who had left it in the first place.
"You know what. I'll grant your wish. I'll leave Ikebukuro. I'm not happy coming there, I was crazy to think I could be..."
But that was hardly the main point.
"Then you're free to be with your friends and family without worrying about throwing anything at me."
Because when Shizuo mentioned the possibility of having to explain why he had that scar to-
"Oh, and you're especially free to be with your lover or whoever you might pick up in the future."
...Oh.
Shizuo had brought-up the possibility of him having someone...if he ever got into a relationship.
Izaya had gotten extremely cold then.
But...why...
Was it because Izaya was pretty much hated by everyone? It didn't take a genius to figure that out.
Maybe it was more than that. Shizuo wanted to know...
"I'm done. Absolutely done."
"...What were you trying to say, flea..." Shizuo mumbled. "You're confusing me. You're always weird and confusing when you talk. Weird flea."
He sighed quietly.
"...If we die here, which I'm guessing will probably end up happening since we can't get out..."
He looked down at Izaya's resting face.
"...I'm gonna apologize for all the fights. Yeah, you're at fault to, if you weren't such a pest. But...I'm gonna pretend that you apologized too... Just so I feel better about this."
He looked at the cold wall as he pondered what to do.
"...Sorry. I'm sorry. And...I accept your apologies, too. Though you owe me hell of a lot more than apologies at this point. But I'll take what I can get from this situation. So deal with it."
Shizuo kept his palms over Izaya's back, hoping the warmth was helping in some small way.
But it had begun to occur to him.
They'd been without food or water for a couple days now. Shizuo knew Izaya wasn't much of an eater, or rather, he was quite selective of what he would eat.
So of course Izaya would be the first to give out from exhaustion.
...It was only a matter of time...
"You need to eat more. If we do get out alive, I'm gonna make you eat a large meal. You're so thin, it's no wonder you're out right now and I'm not."
No response. But what else could Shizuo expect from an unconscious person?
"You aren't allowed to die. For the time being, you're to fight to stay alive. Just like how you are with me. Fight, run away from death."
Shizuo practically laughed at his own words, especially at the irony of them. But for now, he could hardly care about that. He didn't want to be alone here. When it came down to it, that was the truth. He didn't want to die alone.
Even if it was Izaya here, he didn't mind it...as long as there was someone here to talk to until their last breath.
Another irony, but Shizuo stopped counting the number of ironic thoughts he was having...the ironic feelings that he had been feeling.
No response. But what else could Shizuo expect from an unconscious person?
"You aren't allowed to die. For the time being, you're to fight to stay alive. Just like how you are with me. Fight, run away from death."
Shizuo practically laughed at his own words, especially at the irony of them. But for now, he could hardly care about that. He didn't want to be alone here. When it came down to it, that was the truth. He didn't want to die alone.
Even if it was Izaya here, he didn't mind it...as long as there was someone here to talk to until their last breath.
Funny, two enemies, trying to kill one another, ended up meeting their demise together.
Another irony, but Shizuo stopped counting the number of ironic thoughts he was having...and the ironic feelings that he had been feeling.
_
"What are you doing?"
An irritated female voice rang out in an echo, before it stabilized itself.
"I'm working. What else would I be doing, Namie?"
"It looks more like you're sleeping. The couch is for sitting on, not lying on."
Scarlet eyes glanced down. Ah...he really had been lying down.
"...Says you. I'm your boss." Izaya gave the rebut to defend himself.
"Tch. Even so, I should have a say when it comes to my 'boss' slacking off! Now get up, you have a client coming by any moment now."
Izaya groaned, sitting up and putting a hand to his forehead. What happened? He'd had the strangest dream...
A new client...right.
He got up, stretched, then went to his typical chair and took a seat. Namie brought the yellow envelopes with the information, and Izaya opened them up to go through them.
Okay, so this person was trying to find someone. But Izaya wasn't the authorities.
Perhaps this person wasn't someone that should be found by mere authorities...
The door soon opened, and a man with sunglasses and a newsboy hat stepped in. He was guided by Namie to Izaya's desk, and there, he took a seat.
"So, you're here because you require my help to find someone. May I ask why the authorities cannot get involved in this case?"
"...This guy is better than the authorities. He doesn't want to be found, and he's pretty good at hiding. I need someone like you to figure out where he is."
Izaya nodded. "Alright... I'll see what I can do. For starters, what is his name?"
"...Izaya Orihara."
Izaya paused, looking up from his papers. "...Yes?"
"That's the guy I'm looking for. Izaya Orihara."
"...But...there must be some misunderstanding. You see, that's MY name-" The raven's wrist was promptly grabbed before he could finish speaking.
"...Izaya. You need to eat more."
Weird.
"...Yeah? I don't see how that is your business."
"...Izaya...you aren't allowed to die."
What was this person trying to say?
"Well, I'm not planning on it anytime soon, but why do you-"
Izaya finally looked up with widened eyes.
"...You..." He whispered.
The person holding his wrist was a blond male with brown eyes, and he was now wearing a bartender's outfit. But...how?
"Hold on a bit longer, Izaya."
"Shizuo, what are you saying? Why are you here? Why are you touching me-?"
"Izaya..." Shizuo stood up, making the raven stand with him. The tables and chairs were suddenly gone, it was getting darker and darker around them. Izaya's apartment was fading to black, the only light shining on Shizuo, and himself. "You need to wake up."
"...W-wake up? From what? What's happening?!"
"Izaya...WAKE UP! PLEASE! Don't leave me alone like this!"
"...Sh-Shizuo, I-"
"You have to fight! I can't die alone here! WAKE UP!"
"..."
The words echoed and soon faded out...before they met with a calm, almost desperate plea.
"Wake up...please Izaya...wake up..."
Eyes snapped open, and Izaya moved a bit in the warmth as he came face-to-face with the very person who had just been screaming at him.
"...Izaya...please wa-...Izaya?"
The raven slowly sat up, but he was kept down by a pair of strong arms. He sniffed, trying to make sense of all of this.
And he realized...there was a wetness rolling down his cheeks.
Izaya...had been crying.
That dream must have terrified him so much for him to wake up in such a state.
"Izaya..." He heard his name again, and he looked to his side at the blond who was...whoa. Shizuo was...smiling...
He chuckled gently, giving the raven a soft squeeze.
"...Stay awake. Just a while longer."
"...Shizuo..." The words came out weakly. Izaya's eyes took in the sight. Shizuo looked horrible, as if he had refused to sleep all this time. He looked like he was starving, and as if he had aged ten years overnight.
But the most astounding part of it all, was that Shizuo was looking at Izaya in the calmest way Izaya had ever seen him look at him.
"...Shizuo...are we still here?" He asked as his voice cracked a little.
"...Yes." Was the reply, a sad smile.
"...There's no hope...is there..."
"...Looks like there isn't." Shizuo whispered, allowing Izaya to rest against him for warmth. "...Since we're going to die...I decided to forgive you for everything you did. You missed my speech while you were sleeping...so..." He smiled awkwardly. "But I also wanted to say...I'm sorry...for what I did to you. There's too much shit for us to mention, so I'm making it simple."
Izaya smiled softly. "...I forgive you...and I am sorry, too. I really...really am. Even if you don't think I'm being honest...it makes sense to get...closure now while we can." He sighed. "To think...it's ending right here..."
Shizuo rested his chin onto the raven's head. "Well...I guess we had it coming." He rest his eyes for a while as he thought of what to say. "...Hey. I also...got time to think about what you said before. You...you seemed upset about something...when I mentioned...the scar...and telling someone about it...someone I might end up with..."
Izaya was very quiet, and his eyes narrowed as they began to water. No no, not this again! Because he was already so weak, he didn't even bother trying to put up a fight with himself. "...Yeah...I was upset...okay? But it's because I was the last to know about it, when I'm the one who actually put it there. It's not like I would've known."
"...Is that really why you're upset? Or...is there more?" Shizuo touched Izaya's arm. "Is it because you've...spent a long time loving all humans but, never really got that love in return? I know that's true...and you can be mad if you want. But I know that's how it's been..."
"...Shizuo..." Izaya wasn't mad...he felt...like so much pressure was being lifted off of his shoulders. Someone understood him... "I'm going to tell you something. A secret about me."
Izaya just let it all out.
"I don't love humans. I don't love any of them... I hate them! But especially because...I wanted to deny that I AM one of them."
He closed his eyes, tightly, to hold back any tears.
"...There are a few of them who are significant to me...so I guess I can't 'hate' every single one. But it's humanity. Humanity is disgusting...people are sick...there are people who do things for no reason at all for their own self gain. Was I doing that? Yeah, I was. But I wanted to deny that I'm sick...I'm twisted...I use people with their emotions and make them turn on others. I'm no god. I AM the monster."
He didn't dare look up.
"You hear that? You aren't the monster. You never were. I AM." He sniffed. "...I'm not worthy of the one thing I needed. It was never given...never offered. I'm not worthy of love. That's how it's going to be until the end."
Izaya went quiet after that, and there was silence which fell upon the room for the next few moments.
Finally...
"...I think that...I've decided." The blond muttered.
Scarlet eyes opened, wetness rolling down Izaya's cheeks as he stared at the cold floor. Decide what? Did Shizuo decide to finally do something about Izaya? Kill him? Put him out of his misery?
"...It isn't because we're trapped here...and it isn't because we're going to die and we're the only two here. But...because of time...because we have to hurry..." Shizuo tilted Izaya's chin upward. "...Would you still accept love? From anyone?"
Izaya sniffled, feeling pathetic, but hardly able to care. "...At this point...what is the point..." But his facial expression plead for it. Yes...yes...he wanted to be loved. "...What are you going on about?"
"...I decided. Someone was going to ask about the scar someday...that 'someone' who I wondered about...if someone would ever accept me and...love me. But while I've had some people try to accept me...they didn't love me in that way...and I never could have loved them in that way."
Shizuo thought of his friends...those he worked with and those he knew on the streets. His brother...his mother and father... Everyone in his life...
"You were the last one to know about the scar...so...that's how it's going to stay."
Izaya looked up, puzzled. "...What...are you saying?"
"...I'm saying that... If you're willing to accept love from anyone...then...I'm willing to give it." Shizuo finished quietly, yet his intentions remained firm.
Izaya gulped, and his hands felt Shizuo's arms. His body was average as any other Japanese man, though he was taller than most...and he had super strength. Though it didn't really show. Most people would expect him to have ridiculous muscles and a bodybuilder's figure to believe it. But...
Shizuo looked as normal and human as anyone.
And he was a human...who was willing to love Izaya.
"...Shizu-chan..." He whispered, his fingers eventually making it to the blond's neck. "You're willing to give it to someone like me...yet...don't you want such intentions in return?"
"What do you mean?"
"How do you know that I will love you back?"
"Because. You said you actually hate all humans. But I'm not a mere human, according to you." Shizuo gave a crooked smile. "You can't run away from that conclusion. I just solved your logic."
Izaya's fingers made it to Shizuo's hair. "Ah...You really are...human. Complex, but...still human all the same..."
Shizuo was going to ask what that even meant and ask how that made any sense at all, but he was shut up by fingers tracing his lips.
"These...humans use these for more than talking..." Izaya mumbled, touching his own lips.
"We just figured you were a human, Izaya. You yourself said...and you said I was one, too." Shizuo stared. "...You're allowed to try." He nearly whispered. "...I can't say I've ever used them for anything other than talking...or yelling...heh... But I wouldn't mind...if I used them for something new...right now..."
Izaya's eyes flicked upward. "...Now I feel rather special. But am I really allowed to have this?"
"Look, Flea. We're gonna die here. So take advantage of everything while you can. Even if you don't want to accept me fully...you seem curious enough."
Izaya stared back, and then he finally gave a nod.
"...How much more...can we do?"
"...It's really up to you. How much can your body handle?"
"...If we are going to die...I...want it to last."
"...Then..." Shizuo took Izaya's chin and lifted it up, tracing his lips with his thumb. "...I won't hold back..."
Izaya's face showed fatigue and just as much weakness as before...but...
He wanted to stay true to his word.
_
It was three hours later, or maybe it was more. The two males didn't really care.
They had practically used up as much energy as they had left, and Izaya was now lying upon Shizuo's bare chest, resting his eyes. He stayed awake, he forced himself to live out the rest of his moments. He'd sleep later...once they were both ready. Whoever was ready first, the other would follow.
They'd sleep together, forever, when it was time to leave this world.
_