The nightmares of the day when the accident happened always come back to Hanamaru every night, but it doesn't only come in nightmares. Even in her daydreams. She still can't bear with the pain of losing her, all she can do is blame herself. She blames herself all the time, she blames herself for what happened, she blames herself that You can no longer sit beside her, with that same beautiful, cheerful smile. That she no longer can hug her, and talk to her. She blames herself for what happened a year ago.
The bell rang and everyone exited their classrooms, some waved bye to each other, and some walked back to school together. And outside of the school ground, You was waving good bye to Hanamaru as she ran to the other side of the wrong, "You-chan!" Hanamaru called. "What?" You stopped and turned.
"I like you!" Hanamaru shouted, but she couldn't hear it because of the loud wind. So she walked closer, stepping out of the sidewalk. "What? What did you say? I can't hear you well!" she said. "I like you!" Hanamaru repeated, but she still couldn't hear it, so she stepped closer. "You-chan! I like you-" she paused as a bus hit You, "-zura..."
Ever since that day, nightmares kept coming to her, without even knocking on the door. Nightmares that remind her of that awful day. That day changed her to a completely different person.
"Hanamaru-chan... you should go home and rest." Ruby advised, but Maru rejected. She didn't want to leave You's side. She wanted to stay in the hospital until she wakes up, even if that meant skipping school. "Hanama-", "Ruby-chan, please leave me alone." Maru said, with a cold tone. "O-Okay... see you..." Ruby said as she left the room.
Ever since that day, she barely spoke to anyone, barely ate, barely did anything but visiting her everyday. Waiting for the day when she's going to wake up, and the first person she would see is her.
"The pain is too much for her to bear." Dia said, petting Ruby's head. "S-She keeps blaming herself..." she says as tears corner in her eyes.
She can't forgive herself, she can't be convinced that it's just an incident, she thinks that she's the reason You has been in the verge of death. If only she hasn't called out for her, if only she hasn't tried to confess, in the wrong time and place.
"It's been two months, hasn't it?" Kanan asked, "Yes, two months. And she hasn't left the hospital at all. Two months, and You-chan is still in a coma." Mari replies, as she slowly opens the door to the room. Spots Hanamaru sleeping beside You, as she walks up to her, covering her with a blanket. They switch the lights off and walk out.
"Hanamaru-chan, you need to eat something!" Ruby yells as they try to feed her, "No!" Maru resists them, as she gets freed from their grip and throws the food on the floor, and runs back to You's room. "Hanamaru!" Yohane yells, wanting to go after her, but she knows that she shouldn't. Then she falls on the ground, hugging her legs to her chest, crying silently. "Yoshiko-chan, it's okay. Everything'll be okay. You will wake up, Hanamaru will go back to her usual self." Riko tries to comfort her, but she fails as Yohane gets up and walks somewhere else.
"It must be hard for Yoshiko to see Hanamaru going through this," Mari comments.
It's been five months already, and You still hasn't woken up. And Hanamaru's health is getting worse day by day, and so is her mental health. And everyone is getting more worried about both of them, but they know they can't do anything. It all might go back to normal if she wakes up.
"How is she?" Riko's mother asks her awfully worried daughter, "She is... not okay." she replies with sadness in her voice. "Don't worry, everything'll go back to normal eventually." Her mother hugs her tightly, trying all her best to comfort her devastated daughter.
She tries not to lose hope, even though every day as her coma keeps on going, she gives up. But then remembers that she should be strong, she should be strong for You. She shouldn't give up so easily, she hopes that her prayers will be responded, and You will wake up, and they all will be happy again.
"Where's Hanamaru?" Chika asks, "Huh? Isn't she with You-chan?" Riko raises an eyebrow. "No, she isn't. I checked the canteen, hoping that she's there, but she isn't." Chika replied. "Let's split and go look for her." Dia suggested as they went all over the hospital, searching for her.
Then Kanan saw people crowding front of the ladies' restroom, and suddenly she heard sobbing, and she realized that it was Maru. So she ran to the crowd, trying to get through. Reaching her hands to the knob, but it was locked. She knocked on the door very loudly, "Hanamaru-chan! Are you in there?!" She yelled, but got nothing in response, just more sobbing. "Hanamaru-chan!" Kanan yelled as she tried to break the knob.
Then Mari and Dia came, as they saw Kanan trying to break through the door, and they helped. Then Chika, Riko, Ruby and Yohane came to help. And then they successfully broke through the door. As they opened it, they saw Maru sitting on the floor. They looked at the mirrors, and they were broken, so many pieces of it were laying on the ground. "Hanamaru-chan!" Ruby yelled as she ran to her, checking her wrists, and her foot, for any cut. But thankfully there weren't any.
Then they tried to get her out of there, but she resisted. Then a nurse came, holding a syringe, with a drug that could calm her down and make her fall asleep so they could peacefully move her to a room to rest.
Hours later, Hanamaru woke up, yelling, "WHERE IS YOU-CHAN?!" she yelled, as she got up from the bed, trying to leave the room but Kanan, Dia and Riko wouldn't let her leave the room. "LET ME GO! I HAVE TO GO TO YOU-CHAN!" she kept resisting, then they decided to let her go to You. She left the room, looking for You's room, as she opened the door and entered. Seeing Chika and Ruby sitting beside her. "LEAVE!" She yelled. "Hanamaru-chan please ca-", "I said, LEAVE!" Maru yelled again, not letting Chika continue her sentence. "Chika-chan, it's okay, we should leave them alone." Ruby said, Chika nodded as they left the room.
Hanamaru sat beside her, crying as she held You's hand. "Please... wake up..." she whispered.
Seven months went by, and You still hasn't regained consciousness. But then one day...
Her eyes slowly opened, but the strong light of the sun kept blinding her. Then she managed to open her eyes, as she looked around, she saw Hanamaru beside her, asleep, then she petted Maru's hair, and that woke her up. "Huh?..." She rubbed her eyes, "Y-YOU-CHAN?!" she was surprised, as a smile appeared on her face. She smiled for the first time in months. "YOU-CHAN! Y-YOU'RE AWAKE!" She yelled, with happiness. "Y-Yes, I am... a-am I in a hospital?" You asked, "Yes, you are, zura." Hanamaru replied, with her usual zura, which she hasn't said in months too.
Then suddenly the door opened, as 7 people entered. "YOU-CHAN!?" Chika said surprised, as she embraced You into a warm hug. "YOU-CHAN! YOU FINALLY AWOKE!" Riko exclaimed. "'Finally'? What do you mean by I finally woke up?" You asked in confusion. "You-chan, you've been in a coma for nearly 8 months..." Kanan replied. "EIGHT MONTHS?! But why?" She asked. Then the smiles on their faces vanished, as they looked down. Specially Maru, who still puts blame on herself.
"I got in an accident?" she looked down, "I-I'm so sorry..." Hanamaru apologized, "Why? Don't you dare apologize Hanamaru-chan! It's not your fault! What happened was just an accident, it could happen to anyone!" You said. "BUT IT IS MY FAULT!" Maru yelled, "Hanamaru-chan!" Ruby yelled, they all looked at Maru as she left the room with anger, as tears raced down her cheeks.
The next day, the doctor knocked on the door, coming in. "Good morning Watanabe-san." He greeted, "Good morning doctor." she greeted back. "Watanabe-san, I came with... unsatisfying news." He said. "What news?" Hanamaru asked before anyone could spit out a single word. "It's about your legs... unfortunately, there has been injuries in many places in your bones, so many bones were broken," The doctor replied, as everyone's eyes widened.
"You can still fix it, right?" Hanamaru asked, with a very concerned look on her face. "I'm sorry, we can't."
That reply didn't please Hanamaru at all, "This must be a joke, right? ARE YOU TELLING US THAT THERE IS NO HOPE?" she yelled out her anger. "I'm sorry, Kunikida-san." he apologized. "I DON'T NEED YOUR APOLOGY!" She yelled again. "Hanamaru-chan, calm down." Dia ordered, and Maru knew that yelling at an adult was very rude and impolite. So she sat down, "I also heard that you're a diver, and that you're dreaming to get into the national team, right?" The doctor asked, "Yes doctor. I already know, that my dream won't happen." You's reply shocked everyone, because she didn't seem sad at all. She just put on a smile on her face as she replied.
"I'm deeply sorry." The doctor said as he left the room. "This can't be..." Hanamaru whispered as she looked down, "This is all my fault...", "Hanamaru-chan, please don't say that." You said.
"Why? Just so I wouldn't bring myself down? But it's the truth. Because of ME, you can't walk now, because of ME, you can't dive anymore, IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" She yelled, "Hanamaru-chan, please!" You yelled, as tears cornered in her eyes, and seeing You in the verge of crying made Maru feel like she made her cry. "I'm sorry..." She apologized as she left the room, "Hanamaru-chan-!" You yelled, but she already left the room.
"You-chan, it's okay, she will eventually realize that it isn't her fault." Chika said as she placed her hand on You's shoulder. "I'm sorry about your legs..." Yohane said with a sad tone. "Don't be, it's okay." You said as she smiled, "But-", "No, it's okay. I'll just, have to use a wheel chair, or a crutch."
The way she was trying to remain positive didn't really shock everyone, cause that's how she always been. She always tried to remain positive for the sake of people who care about her.
You has been practicing to walk with a crutch for couple of weeks, and Maru kept watching her, but still had the guilt growing deep inside of her. Everytime You looked at her, she smiled, knowing it was a fake smile, she still smiled. She smiled for her, she smiled for the girl she loves. She tried not to show any hint of sadness after that day when the doctor brought the devastating news to them.
"Aren't you hungry, Maru-chan?" You asked, "No I'm not, zura." She replied, "Why are you lying to me?" You asked, and Maru's eyes widened at that. "W-What do you mean?", "Chika told me, that you haven't ate at all, the entire time while I was in a coma." she replied. "Please, eat." You said as she fed Hanamaru a loaf of bread, along with the seaweed soup. Hanamaru felt embarrassed, cause You, the actual person who has to be fed, is feeding her.
"Don't worry, just cause I can't use my legs, that doesn't mean I'm the one who should be fed. I still got my hands working alright!" You said, smiling, and Hanamaru smiled too.
"C'mon, say Yosoro!" You said, trying to cheer Hanamaru up. "Y-Yosoro!" Maru repeated. "Haha, you look so cute when you do the captain hand move, you'd be a great captain!" You commented. "Thank you, zura." Maru said in response.
"It's 10 pm now, you should go back home." You ordered Hanamaru, "N-No, it's okay, I can stay here." Maru said. "You've already been here for me for seven months, go home and rest." You ordered again, "Okay, if you want me to then I'll go.", "I'll visit you first thing in the morning, okay? See you!" Hanamaru smiled as she left.
It was one hour past midnight, and You woke up, thirsty. Then she realized that she drank all the water, so she decided to leave the room to get some water. She got up, sitting, as she reached to the crutch. She grabbed it, and tried to walk.
She left the room, looking around. then she saw a water cooler nearby, so she walked to it, poured water in a cup, and drank it all in one sip. Then she suddenly wanted to go out for a walk. So she walked around with the crutch, looking for an exit. Then she saw stairs, "Ahh, long stairs..." she complained.
"Hmm..." she thought, then she placed her hands on the railing, holding it with a strong grip as she put the crutches aside. She tried to walk down the stairs without it, but it was obviously a very dumb thing to do, but she thought that she could succeed.
She held the railing, as she tried to get down. She even tried to stand on her legs, knowing that they don't work anymore, she thought she could try at least. So she did.
She slowly walked down, then she turned and saw that she already passed half way, so she continued. Then she foolishly loosened her grip on the railing, and suddenly... she slipped and rolled down the stairs, as she rolled down, the railing hit her head, her sight went blank, and she went unconscious.
And when she reached to the ground, she was breathless.
There was no pulse.
She was... dead
The next day, Hanamaru woke up, quickly changing her clothes, she grabbed a bowl and headed out to the hospital. The minute she arrived, she entered, and headed to You's room. Carefully so that the bowl wouldn't fall. As she reached to the room, she placed her hand on the knob, inhaling deeply, putting a smile on her face, as she turned the knob and entered.
She closed the door behind her and stepped forward, then she looked and the bed was empty. No one was here, You wasn't here. She raised an eyebrow in confusion, as she walked out. Then she spotted a nurse and went up to her, "Excuse me miss, but where is Watanabe You?" She asked, then a sad face appeared on the nurse's face. "Watanabe-san is-" she suddenly got interrupted by a voice. "Hanamaru-chan!" Someone called, she turned and it was Chika.
"Good morning, zura!" Maru greeted with a smile, "G-Good morning..." Chika greeted back with a sad look. "What's wrong, Chika-chan? And, where is You-chan?" she asked. "Hanamaru-chan... come with me..." she said as she walked away and Maru walked after her.
Maru kept walking after Chika, until they reached to some room, and on top of it was a sign which said, "The Morgue". Hanamaru stopped, "Chika-chan, why are we here?" She asked. "Come in." Chika replied as she opened the door, and Hanamaru walked in.
"Hanamaru..." Yohane turned. "Yoshik-chan? What's wrong? Why are you all here? And... where is You-chan?" she asked, she was so confused, and she demanded answers. Then they stepped away a little, then Hanamaru saw her, You laying.
But she looked different this time, she looked... lifeless.
"W-What's You-chan doing here?" she asked, but no one replied. Everyone just had their sad look on their faces, and teary eyes. Then Hanamaru walked closer, as she looked at her. Her eyes widened, as the bowl fell on the ground. "N-No..." She whispered as she placed her hands on the sides of her head, falling down, "NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NO! NO! NO! NO!" she kept yelling, and everyone tried to calm her down. "NO! NO! NO! SHE IS NOT DEAD! SHE ISN'T!" Hanamaru kept yelling, then she got up, as she begun shaking You's shoulders, in attempt of waking her up. "You-chan! Please wake up, you're not dead! WAKE UP!" she kept shaking her shoulders, and everyone tried to get her out of here. "NO! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! SHE ISN'T DEAD!" she screamed as Kanan struggled, trying to pick her up and getting her out of the room.
As they left the room, Hanamaru kept yelling, denying, and crying. "Hanamaru-chan, please stop crying..." Kanan tried to calm her down, trying to make her stop crying, but how could she stop Hanamaru crying? If even her tears won't stop coming out. She held her tightly, both of them were crying. Then Riko, Ruby, Dia, Chika, Mari, and Yohane stepped out of the room. As they all threw themselves into a big group hug. And they all begun sobbing loudly.
They couldn't control it, they just couldn't stop. They knew that this is a hospital, and that they should be quiet, but they couldn't. They couldn't bear the pain of losing their friend.
A month passed by, and Aqours already disbanded, without You, they couldn't continue.
Hanamaru visited You's grave every single day. Then one day, when she went to visit again, she noticed a note sticked to the grave. she picked it and started reading it.
Dear Hanamaru-chan,
If you're reading this, that means that I'm already gone.
I hope you'd stop blaming yourself one day,
Also, I know that those smiles you gave me in the hospital were fake,
I know you tried to stay strong for me, I know-
Hanamaru paused as tears kept rolling down her cheeks, then she continued.
-But there's something I have remembered.
When I was in a coma, I heard something, I heard you say something.
I heard you saying that you love me, that you have been in love with me for a long time,
And you tried to confess to me that day when the accident occurred.
That's why you kept blaming yourself, because you tried to confess to me, and then the bus hit me.
But I don't, I'd never blame you.
I love you, and I hope one day, you'll find happiness, and not grief for me forever.
-You
As she finished reading the note, she held it close to her heart. As tears kept racing down her cheeks, dropping from her chin.
"I love you too... You-chan..."
I hope you cried, and liked this story. Honestly it was difficult for me to kill You, bc she's my fourth best girl (tied with Ruby and Hanamaru) and it was so hard for me to make Maru suffer, BC I LOVE THAT BEAUTIFUL SMOL BEAN SO MUCH. Anyway, thank you for reading this and please leave a review. ❤️