A/N: Merry Halloween! Have some crackfic. :D

INTRODUCTION

"Garrus, can we talk?"

"Can it wait for a bit, I'm- I... uh..."

Shepard stretched her arms and flexed downwards, protruding her chest forward in a manner which immediately caught Garrus' attention. When she rose she held a cable loosely in her hand: the main power cord for his computer. Great

"You know, you could have just asked nicely..."

"And where's the fun in that Mr Vakarian?" She sidled up next to him "Besides I shouldn't have to; you've seen more of me in the flesh than you have of that godforsaken computer."

"Actually, as part of maintenance I regularly have to take this baby apart, feel up her motherboards, get my hands deep inside of her-"

Shepard threw Garrus a death glare which would have turned a lesser man into stone.

"Fiiine then. What is it that you want?"

Shepard cocked her head romantically "I dunno. I just want to talk: It seems so strange that we've known each other for so long, share a bed and yet we still know so little about one another. Tell me something about your childhood Garrus."

"Uh... I grew up on Palaven?"

The death glare was back.

"Um... I don't know? Since you started it, why don't you say something?"

"Fine, but then it's your turn." She theatrically cleared her throat. "When I was younger the other kids used to bully me because of my red hair."

"I'm sorry Commander, but I find that a little hard to swallow."

"It's true! They had a special club, with no rules except one: no ginger nuts."

Garrus tried to suppress the giggle which bubbled through his lips.

"I know someone who's going to be sleeping in a military issue bunk bed tonight if he doesn't stop that right now."

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Come to think of it, I did have a gang going on when I was a kid myself."

"And what did you do? Go around sniping anyone who dared steal lunch money from the other kids?"

"Hah hah, very funny. Nah, we used to just get together and kill afternoons together playing games."

"Like?"

"Well it's a little complicated. But someone would start off as "It" and the only way to "cure" it would be to pass it on to someone else-"

"By touching them? Yeah, we actually had that game too. Tag."

"What about hide-and-go-find-them?"

"Hide-and-seek."

"Cyro-blast? One guy would freeze-"

"Stuck in the mud."

"Well I'll be the son of a Varren..."

BEEPBEEP! They were interrupted by Shepard's Omni Tool going off.

"Oooops, looks like the Cerberus dragon has looked up from her almighty report and noticed that I'm not doing... uh... whatever it is I' m supposed to be doing. I have to go. One more thing though Garrus, if I may?"

"Hmmm?"

She rested one hand on his arm lightly.

"Tag. You're it."

A string of curses streamed through Garrus' mind as he watched Shepard run away cackling.