Part one: Wardrobe
Rei was walking down a hill, away from school. After the long day of Asuka bugging her and
Shinji feeling uncomfortable around her she was ready for some well-deserved peace and
quiet. That fatefull day as she decended the hill she never thought she'd be broad-sided
by a run-away moose. Or, mouse...that is. Toji had been expiramenting with new hairstyles
all that week, and his recent addiction to hair gel had caused a certain class rep. to
become immensly jealus over his new found love. So Hikari had chucked the bottle of gooey
hair-sticking goodness out the window.
"Hey! I needed that!" Said Toji as he desperatly reached out the window after his
lost green goop. The mouse hit a tree branch and ricocheted straight into Rei's head.
The force of the impact cuased her to topple forward, right into a puddle of mud.
"Good going Touji!" Yelled Kensuke as he laughed at the albino girl's misfortune.
He was immediatly thwacked by Toji. Meanwhile Rei picked herself up from the mud, the
suction making a shhhhluurp! sound. Shinj was by her side in seconds, if not less, to
assist her.
"I'm sorry, are you alright?" He asked, genually concered.
"Why are you sorry Ikari? You did nothing." Rei asked, slightly confused.
Shinji, at a loss for words decided it was best just to help Rei up and walk with
her ,silently(since he was at a loss for words...), to Nerv headquarters. They had synch
tests....again. Much to Shinji's surprise (and happeiness) Rei gave him a rare, extremely
rare, smile after he'd helped her up. They swiped their access cards through the slot and
entered. Well, Rei did. Shinji's card wouldn't be accepted.
"What's wrong? Did Father remove me from Nerv?" He asked hopefully.
"No, you idiot. That's not your Nerv access card." Asuka said snagging the small
peice of laminated paper. "In fact..." She stared unbelieving at it. "This is your 'Adult Paradise Video and Manga Expo' club card." Shinji turned the color of ripe tomatoes and
tried to get the card back, but Asuka pocketed it and swiped her card through. Shinji dug
in his pockets until he found his peice of personal identifaction and slide it through
the slot.
"Damn you Asuka." Shinji cursed as he rushed to catch up with them.
In the changing rooms Asuka spied Rei's filthy school uniform.
"What happened to you, WonderGirl?" Rei didn't reply. Personaly she despised being
called 'WonderGirl' Although at times she did in fact wonder,and she was a girl, she had
a name.
"Well, First Child." Asuka asked nonchalantly.
"I was hit by a bottle of hair gel." Rei said simply and pulled on her plugsuit.
Asuka cracked up laughing. The thought of WonderGirl being knocked into the mud by a
flying bottle of mouse was the funniest thing she'd heard all day, besides the heintai
card Shinji was carrying. She rushed after Rei, who was on her way to the Eva cages.
"That'll be all for today guys." Misato said to the three pilots still dripping of
LCL. "Go home and get some rest."
And with that Shinji and asuka changed back into their school clothes and headed home.
Rei, on the other hand simply sat and stared at her ruined school clothes. //Now what?//
She thought. Shrugging she started home in her plugsuit. Home brought a new discovery for
Rei. Her small apartment had been ransacked, not that she could tell right away. After
she'd taken a shower she searched her dresser for some clothes, and found none, she began
to worry. //That's not good.// Though Rei as she looked for some signs of clothing. None.
//I knew I should have instlled a lock like Ikari-kun asked.// She glanced disdainfully at
her sweaty plugsuit and sighed internally. //I cannot go to the school dance in this
towel.// Shinji had asked Rei to go with him, attesting to his uncomfortableness earlier.
She was about to debate whether or not she should think about considering just not going,
but memories of him saving her several times and also his kind nature made her take more
drastic measures....
The doorbell rang at the Katsuragi/Langley/Ikari residence. Misato was currenlty
occupied being drunk in her room, and Asuka was taking a bath. So that left the curagious
Shinji to answer the door. He meakly opened it and looked at who it was. Then his eyes
rolled out of his head, hit the floor and bunced down the hallway. After a moment he
successfully recovered them he invited his scantaly clad guest in.
"Thank you Ikari-kun. May I please speak to the Second Child?" The lady guest asked. Shinji nodded dumbly.
"Yeah...in..bath...go...ahead...." Was all he could manage to get out, and he wasn't
even sure he'd even said it out loud.
The door slid open to the bath Asuka was currently using, making her scream and yell
and gasp and hide all at the same time. More or less underwater she glared at the pervert
who invaded her privacy.
"Shinji, you'd better get out of her before I knock your face into next week!" She
thought that was a good enough threat, butheard no sound of anyone leaving. She gasped,
what if Shinji had grown a backbone suddenly and was going to do something awful? No,
Shinji was too much of a wuss. I could be Kaji, mistaking her for Misato....she didn't
mind that too much.
Rei heard a scream and and then someone talking underwater. Some bubbles rose to the
top of the water and a mix of garbled German and what some might call Wookie erupted from
the bubbles.
"Second. I am here to ask you a favor." Rei said blankly.
Asuka sorta recognized the vioce of the pilot of Eva-00 and rose cautiously to the surface. "WonderGirl? What do you want?"
Rei repeated herself. "I wish to ask a favor of you." Asuka noted the fact that Rei was
dressed only in a towel, and a thought registered in the back of her mind. //What favor,
exactly, does the Ice Queen want me to do? Ewwwwww//
"Forget it! I'm straight and that's all there is to it!" Asuka yelled.
From the living room Shinji thought he'd heard Asuka yelling something about being
straight...but he must've imagined it.
"I do not understand. I merely wanted to know if you would loan me some clothes for
tonight's dance."
Asuka let that sink in and smiled mischieviously. "Oh Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah. Shinji asked you
to go with him, didn't he?"
"That is correct."
Asuka rolled her eyes. Her teasing was shot down by Rei's obvious lack of a personality.
//Oh, well. It'll be like playing dress up with a doll. Ewwwww//
Rei handed Asuka a towel as she climbed out of the bath. Together they walked into
Asuka's room. Shinji nearly fainted at the sight of the two beautiful girls walking past
him, barely clothed.
"Okay, first thing first. You need some underwear, right?" Rei nodded at Asuka's
question. "Too bad. You can't have any of mine." Rei looked perplexed by Asuka's question,
then refusal, but nodded anyway.
"Now....your eyes are red, so I think a red shirt would go good..."Asuka began
digging through her closet, searching for garments. "Here, try this on." She handed Rei
several articles of clothing. It was a good thing Rei and Asuka had the same build.
After putting on an outfit Rei looked at herself in the mirror "This fits fine. Thank
you." Rei stood up to leave, but was caught by Asuka.
"Yes, Second? I have the needed clothes." Rei turned to leave again, but was stopped.
Asuka snorted. "You can't be serious, this was the trial run, we still have to apply
eye-liner, and do something about your nails..." Asuka continued prettying Rei up for the
next several hours.
"I wonder why Rie's here." Shinji wondered for the eleven billionth time in the past
five minutes. "Maybe she wants to challenge Asuka to a death match!" Shinji smiled as he
imagined the two girls in spandex fighting with swords...." Or maybe Rei's playing nice so
she can closer to me?" Shinji smiled at the thought of that one too. "Aww, what am I
thinking? Asuka's right, I am a pervert. Rei is probably here to borrow some clothes for
the dance tonight." He frowned, that wasn't any fun. Best to go back to fighting chicks.
"I bet she's going to murder Asuka with a butter knife!"
Misato eventually woke up to find Shinji blubbering on about Asuka and Rei fighting
to the death in armored cars.
"Uh.....Shinji-kun? Is you oaky?" Shinji turned red when he heard Misato's voice
beind him. He slowly turned around, confirming it was the Nerv Major. //Damn...think of
an excuse....come on...//
"Uh...I, um.....I'm drunk!!!" Shinji and Misato both looked surprised. A tiny
chibi-Shinji apperared on his shoulder.
"What the hell was that?" It asked in a squeaky voice. Shinji almost chuckled at
the tiny thing, but thought better of it.
Misato eyed him curiously, and when Misato gets curious bad things happened. //Is he
really drunk? He might be, although I myself is drunk too.// Misato smiled after thinking
about all the beer she guzzled. //Note to self, get more Yebisu....//
"Note to self. MAKE UP A FRIGGIN EXCUSE!!!!" Chibi-Shinji yelled into the more
realistically proportioned Ikari's ear.
"Um....heh, heh, heh. I'm not drunk, I'm just playing..I was um...." A fly with Gendo's
head landed on Shinji's other shoulder. " You were writing a novel about the First and
Second Children." It said smoothly. Shinji nodded, that was a good idea. "About them
obeying your every wish." Shinji quickly flicked the small Gendo-like insect away.
"Thas gut Shinja. I'm goin to get more Yubisa-yibusi-yesubi-buyesi....the crup thet
I drank." Misato stumbled out of the room, leaving a very confused Shinji to talk to the
chibiness occupying his shoulder.
"What now?" Shinji asked. The chibi-Shinji shrugged any guess was as good as his.
"Oh, I know." It said suddenly, startling the full sized and troubled Shinji. "What?"
"Go to Kaji-san and get him to give you some tips for your date." The Chibi-Shinji
said proudly as he drew himself up to his full three inch hieght.
Kaji was watering his melons when Shinji arrived. Kaji quickly put his shirt back on and greeted the now scared and panicked
boy.
"Ah, Shinji-kun! What can I do for you?" Kaji asked, smiling. He knew exactly why
the young man was there. Shinji muttered something inaudible before his Chibi likeness
apeared before Kaji.
"Look!" It demanded in a whiny voice. "My man Shinji here has a big date, and he
doesn't want to ruin it by being himself, so here, pal, is where you come in."
"Uh.......Yeah?" Kaji studdered at the small chubby Shinji with wings and a halo
fluttering around like a small insect. Shinji smiled weakly and waved. The chibi-Shinji
was about to say something perogative about Kaji when a small boy ran by with a butter fly
net and captuered the little helper.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" It screamed as it was carried off toward it's doom.
Kaji and Shinji stared at each other. Then at the receeding form of the chibi-Shinji.
"So, you need chick tips, eh?"
Shinji gulped an nodded. Kaji drew Shinji into a huddle and began whispering in to his
ear.
"Whisper whisper whisper whisper" Kaji said. Shinji pulled back and looked at the
deranged spy.
"What are you talking about?" Shinji tried to make sense of the rubbish that was
just transplated into his ear when Kaji smiled the 'Kaji' smile. "I was just kidding.
Here's what you do. Chicks like a witty guy, so don't go 'uh...' or 'duh....' or hyuck!"
Shinji nodded and continued litsening as the ladies man shared a few tricks of the trade.......
Contunued...........
*Authors note. You like? No like? If you have anything you think is funny and wat it to happen then let me know, I'm no mind reader for crying
out loud!!! (You can bet if I was the world would be in some srious trouble. Heh, heh, heh.....)
Rei was walking down a hill, away from school. After the long day of Asuka bugging her and
Shinji feeling uncomfortable around her she was ready for some well-deserved peace and
quiet. That fatefull day as she decended the hill she never thought she'd be broad-sided
by a run-away moose. Or, mouse...that is. Toji had been expiramenting with new hairstyles
all that week, and his recent addiction to hair gel had caused a certain class rep. to
become immensly jealus over his new found love. So Hikari had chucked the bottle of gooey
hair-sticking goodness out the window.
"Hey! I needed that!" Said Toji as he desperatly reached out the window after his
lost green goop. The mouse hit a tree branch and ricocheted straight into Rei's head.
The force of the impact cuased her to topple forward, right into a puddle of mud.
"Good going Touji!" Yelled Kensuke as he laughed at the albino girl's misfortune.
He was immediatly thwacked by Toji. Meanwhile Rei picked herself up from the mud, the
suction making a shhhhluurp! sound. Shinj was by her side in seconds, if not less, to
assist her.
"I'm sorry, are you alright?" He asked, genually concered.
"Why are you sorry Ikari? You did nothing." Rei asked, slightly confused.
Shinji, at a loss for words decided it was best just to help Rei up and walk with
her ,silently(since he was at a loss for words...), to Nerv headquarters. They had synch
tests....again. Much to Shinji's surprise (and happeiness) Rei gave him a rare, extremely
rare, smile after he'd helped her up. They swiped their access cards through the slot and
entered. Well, Rei did. Shinji's card wouldn't be accepted.
"What's wrong? Did Father remove me from Nerv?" He asked hopefully.
"No, you idiot. That's not your Nerv access card." Asuka said snagging the small
peice of laminated paper. "In fact..." She stared unbelieving at it. "This is your 'Adult Paradise Video and Manga Expo' club card." Shinji turned the color of ripe tomatoes and
tried to get the card back, but Asuka pocketed it and swiped her card through. Shinji dug
in his pockets until he found his peice of personal identifaction and slide it through
the slot.
"Damn you Asuka." Shinji cursed as he rushed to catch up with them.
In the changing rooms Asuka spied Rei's filthy school uniform.
"What happened to you, WonderGirl?" Rei didn't reply. Personaly she despised being
called 'WonderGirl' Although at times she did in fact wonder,and she was a girl, she had
a name.
"Well, First Child." Asuka asked nonchalantly.
"I was hit by a bottle of hair gel." Rei said simply and pulled on her plugsuit.
Asuka cracked up laughing. The thought of WonderGirl being knocked into the mud by a
flying bottle of mouse was the funniest thing she'd heard all day, besides the heintai
card Shinji was carrying. She rushed after Rei, who was on her way to the Eva cages.
"That'll be all for today guys." Misato said to the three pilots still dripping of
LCL. "Go home and get some rest."
And with that Shinji and asuka changed back into their school clothes and headed home.
Rei, on the other hand simply sat and stared at her ruined school clothes. //Now what?//
She thought. Shrugging she started home in her plugsuit. Home brought a new discovery for
Rei. Her small apartment had been ransacked, not that she could tell right away. After
she'd taken a shower she searched her dresser for some clothes, and found none, she began
to worry. //That's not good.// Though Rei as she looked for some signs of clothing. None.
//I knew I should have instlled a lock like Ikari-kun asked.// She glanced disdainfully at
her sweaty plugsuit and sighed internally. //I cannot go to the school dance in this
towel.// Shinji had asked Rei to go with him, attesting to his uncomfortableness earlier.
She was about to debate whether or not she should think about considering just not going,
but memories of him saving her several times and also his kind nature made her take more
drastic measures....
The doorbell rang at the Katsuragi/Langley/Ikari residence. Misato was currenlty
occupied being drunk in her room, and Asuka was taking a bath. So that left the curagious
Shinji to answer the door. He meakly opened it and looked at who it was. Then his eyes
rolled out of his head, hit the floor and bunced down the hallway. After a moment he
successfully recovered them he invited his scantaly clad guest in.
"Thank you Ikari-kun. May I please speak to the Second Child?" The lady guest asked. Shinji nodded dumbly.
"Yeah...in..bath...go...ahead...." Was all he could manage to get out, and he wasn't
even sure he'd even said it out loud.
The door slid open to the bath Asuka was currently using, making her scream and yell
and gasp and hide all at the same time. More or less underwater she glared at the pervert
who invaded her privacy.
"Shinji, you'd better get out of her before I knock your face into next week!" She
thought that was a good enough threat, butheard no sound of anyone leaving. She gasped,
what if Shinji had grown a backbone suddenly and was going to do something awful? No,
Shinji was too much of a wuss. I could be Kaji, mistaking her for Misato....she didn't
mind that too much.
Rei heard a scream and and then someone talking underwater. Some bubbles rose to the
top of the water and a mix of garbled German and what some might call Wookie erupted from
the bubbles.
"Second. I am here to ask you a favor." Rei said blankly.
Asuka sorta recognized the vioce of the pilot of Eva-00 and rose cautiously to the surface. "WonderGirl? What do you want?"
Rei repeated herself. "I wish to ask a favor of you." Asuka noted the fact that Rei was
dressed only in a towel, and a thought registered in the back of her mind. //What favor,
exactly, does the Ice Queen want me to do? Ewwwwww//
"Forget it! I'm straight and that's all there is to it!" Asuka yelled.
From the living room Shinji thought he'd heard Asuka yelling something about being
straight...but he must've imagined it.
"I do not understand. I merely wanted to know if you would loan me some clothes for
tonight's dance."
Asuka let that sink in and smiled mischieviously. "Oh Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah. Shinji asked you
to go with him, didn't he?"
"That is correct."
Asuka rolled her eyes. Her teasing was shot down by Rei's obvious lack of a personality.
//Oh, well. It'll be like playing dress up with a doll. Ewwwww//
Rei handed Asuka a towel as she climbed out of the bath. Together they walked into
Asuka's room. Shinji nearly fainted at the sight of the two beautiful girls walking past
him, barely clothed.
"Okay, first thing first. You need some underwear, right?" Rei nodded at Asuka's
question. "Too bad. You can't have any of mine." Rei looked perplexed by Asuka's question,
then refusal, but nodded anyway.
"Now....your eyes are red, so I think a red shirt would go good..."Asuka began
digging through her closet, searching for garments. "Here, try this on." She handed Rei
several articles of clothing. It was a good thing Rei and Asuka had the same build.
After putting on an outfit Rei looked at herself in the mirror "This fits fine. Thank
you." Rei stood up to leave, but was caught by Asuka.
"Yes, Second? I have the needed clothes." Rei turned to leave again, but was stopped.
Asuka snorted. "You can't be serious, this was the trial run, we still have to apply
eye-liner, and do something about your nails..." Asuka continued prettying Rei up for the
next several hours.
"I wonder why Rie's here." Shinji wondered for the eleven billionth time in the past
five minutes. "Maybe she wants to challenge Asuka to a death match!" Shinji smiled as he
imagined the two girls in spandex fighting with swords...." Or maybe Rei's playing nice so
she can closer to me?" Shinji smiled at the thought of that one too. "Aww, what am I
thinking? Asuka's right, I am a pervert. Rei is probably here to borrow some clothes for
the dance tonight." He frowned, that wasn't any fun. Best to go back to fighting chicks.
"I bet she's going to murder Asuka with a butter knife!"
Misato eventually woke up to find Shinji blubbering on about Asuka and Rei fighting
to the death in armored cars.
"Uh.....Shinji-kun? Is you oaky?" Shinji turned red when he heard Misato's voice
beind him. He slowly turned around, confirming it was the Nerv Major. //Damn...think of
an excuse....come on...//
"Uh...I, um.....I'm drunk!!!" Shinji and Misato both looked surprised. A tiny
chibi-Shinji apperared on his shoulder.
"What the hell was that?" It asked in a squeaky voice. Shinji almost chuckled at
the tiny thing, but thought better of it.
Misato eyed him curiously, and when Misato gets curious bad things happened. //Is he
really drunk? He might be, although I myself is drunk too.// Misato smiled after thinking
about all the beer she guzzled. //Note to self, get more Yebisu....//
"Note to self. MAKE UP A FRIGGIN EXCUSE!!!!" Chibi-Shinji yelled into the more
realistically proportioned Ikari's ear.
"Um....heh, heh, heh. I'm not drunk, I'm just playing..I was um...." A fly with Gendo's
head landed on Shinji's other shoulder. " You were writing a novel about the First and
Second Children." It said smoothly. Shinji nodded, that was a good idea. "About them
obeying your every wish." Shinji quickly flicked the small Gendo-like insect away.
"Thas gut Shinja. I'm goin to get more Yubisa-yibusi-yesubi-buyesi....the crup thet
I drank." Misato stumbled out of the room, leaving a very confused Shinji to talk to the
chibiness occupying his shoulder.
"What now?" Shinji asked. The chibi-Shinji shrugged any guess was as good as his.
"Oh, I know." It said suddenly, startling the full sized and troubled Shinji. "What?"
"Go to Kaji-san and get him to give you some tips for your date." The Chibi-Shinji
said proudly as he drew himself up to his full three inch hieght.
Kaji was watering his melons when Shinji arrived. Kaji quickly put his shirt back on and greeted the now scared and panicked
boy.
"Ah, Shinji-kun! What can I do for you?" Kaji asked, smiling. He knew exactly why
the young man was there. Shinji muttered something inaudible before his Chibi likeness
apeared before Kaji.
"Look!" It demanded in a whiny voice. "My man Shinji here has a big date, and he
doesn't want to ruin it by being himself, so here, pal, is where you come in."
"Uh.......Yeah?" Kaji studdered at the small chubby Shinji with wings and a halo
fluttering around like a small insect. Shinji smiled weakly and waved. The chibi-Shinji
was about to say something perogative about Kaji when a small boy ran by with a butter fly
net and captuered the little helper.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" It screamed as it was carried off toward it's doom.
Kaji and Shinji stared at each other. Then at the receeding form of the chibi-Shinji.
"So, you need chick tips, eh?"
Shinji gulped an nodded. Kaji drew Shinji into a huddle and began whispering in to his
ear.
"Whisper whisper whisper whisper" Kaji said. Shinji pulled back and looked at the
deranged spy.
"What are you talking about?" Shinji tried to make sense of the rubbish that was
just transplated into his ear when Kaji smiled the 'Kaji' smile. "I was just kidding.
Here's what you do. Chicks like a witty guy, so don't go 'uh...' or 'duh....' or hyuck!"
Shinji nodded and continued litsening as the ladies man shared a few tricks of the trade.......
Contunued...........
*Authors note. You like? No like? If you have anything you think is funny and wat it to happen then let me know, I'm no mind reader for crying
out loud!!! (You can bet if I was the world would be in some srious trouble. Heh, heh, heh.....)