A/N I do not own any of these characters, if I did then Ianto, Tosh and Owen would still be alive. Torchwood is owned by the BBC and RTD and I do not mean any offence to Bruno Mars - I think he is awesome. This is for Kaiti, when she reads this she will understand. :P

Bok Wit Torchwood

The last few days at the Torchwood hub had been unbearably boring. There was no rift activity whatsoever. No weevil sightings, no false alarms, no random pieces of alien tech ending up in unknown places, there hadn't even been any blowfish. Needless to say, the whole Torchwood team were bored out of their minds. They had spent the last few days catching up on overdue paperwork and tidying the hub and at about midday Jack had sent everyone home because there was no point them being there, apart from Ianto, who he had enjoyed playing naked hide and seek with, several times as he recalled. Today was no different; the team had played childish games, dares being one of them, and they had spent the rest of the time just chatting to each other.

Jack had decided that his office was too lonely to be in today, so he had settled himself on their sofa in the centre of the hub. Ianto was sat next to him and they were just talking about anything and nothing, and snogging. Owen was on one of the computers next to his virtual reality game that Tosh had set up for him, he was just searching random things on the Internet. Tosh was eating her lunch and Gwen was sat at her desk next to Tosh whilst they chatted about boyfriends and clothes.

"Bok wit me." Owen suddenly murmured quietly, but loud enough that the rest of the team heard.

"What?" Jack and Tosh asked in unison.

"If you're trying to be 'in' with the kids, it's not working. You still sound like a prat." Gwen added helpfully.

"Apparently some guy called Bruno Mars on twitter said it and I thought it sounded cool." Owen explained, as the rest of the team gathered around his computer screen.

"He's cute. I wonder if he has a girlfriend." Tosh commented innocently.

"Unlikely. He's hot. Too hot to be straight." Jack butted in as he watched Ianto taking a quick peak at the computer screen.

"As much as I'd love to say, 'Jack, that was really inappropriate,' I can't really, because he's right, and he's one hell of a good shag." Ianto said suddenly, shocking everyone but most of all, Jack.

"Excuse me?" Jack suddenly felt something he hadn't felt in such a long time – jealousy.

"What? You're not the only one who likes to have a bit of fun, Sir." Ianto rolled the 'r' with his tongue, knowing full well what the sound did to Jack.

"So, what's he like then?" Jack asked curious about how adventurous Ianto actually was.

"Well, lets just say, we got through a whole bottle of whipped cream, ruined the top of a bus shelter and had the police called out to us whilst he was handcuffed to a bench, all in one night." Ianto paused as he studied Jack's shocked expression. "I never saw him again after that. Quite disappointing really." Ianto gave Jack a small, cheeky smile as he walked off to his coffee machine.

"Wow." Jack watched Ianto walking off, wondering where that had suddenly come from, still recovering from what Ianto had just said, and the fact that he'd said something so unIanto-like in front of the whole team.

"It's always the quiet ones." Gwen commented, trying not to burst into laughter.

Jack nodded as he began to walk over to Ianto, "Oh, yeah, you can say that again."