Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or a Christmas Carol
A black space. We open to a woman, her black hair streaked with gray. She seems familiar to some of us. Because…
"Hello. My name is Lois Lane. Before I begin, there is something you should know about me. I'm dead."
"I'm not the Lois you know. I came from a world most people called Earth-2. I was a reporter who joined the Daily Star sometime during the 1930s. I was young, headstrong, determined to get the truth out. It was my duty. And then I met a reporter from a town in Smallville called Clark Kent. Then, I met the Last Son of a planet called Krypton, Superman. I always suspected they were one in the same, but I didn't expect I would be marrying him. I loved my husband dearly, and we had so many wonderful years together. We and our friends, and his cousin from Krypton, Kara, you might know her as Power Girl."
"But then the Crisis on Infinite Earths happened. Our Earth, and all our friends were destroyed. Wiped out or reborn without any memory of us. I survived, and so did Clark, along with Alexander Luthor Jr. and the Superboy of Earth-Prime. Kara, whom we treated like our daughter, fell through the cracks, and survived on the new, amalgamated Earth. For years my husband and I lived in a paradise dimension, until things started to go wrong. Very wrong. And my health began to deteriorate. My husband had been convinced by Alexander that staying in our dimension was the cause, and that the only way to save me was to bring back Earth-2 and replace the Earth that existed. Alexander succeeded, but I died anyway. And more people died because of Alexander and Superboy, including Clark. But I'm not mad, because we're still together. I was grateful for the time we had when we were alive, and I'm happier now that we're together always."
"Christmas was always a time of year my husband and I enjoyed. This story is a retelling of a classic by Charles Dickens, and it stars a young man who really needs to get into the Christmas spirit. Please join me and Kell-El as he stars in…"
A Christmas Carol
The raucous and the laughter. The merriment and the yuletide cheer being spread throughout the base. It was keeping someone up.
"What the hell are they doing? I'm trying to sleep!" Kell-El, a.k.a. Superman X moaned.
KNOCK-KNOCK.
"Go away!" Kell yelled.
"Aw come on, Kell. Open up." The intruder asked. It was Lightning Lad.
"No!"
"You said no?" Garth asked through the door.
"Yes!"
"Okay." Garth replied, and came in. He had on a Santa hat and his face was covered in lipstick marks.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Kell moaned in his bed.
"It's 8:00 on Christmas Eve."
"Exactly. I need my beauty sleep." Kell pulled the covers over his head.
"You need a lot of beauty sleep." Garth muttered.
"What?"
"What? Anyway, come on. The guys want you at the party."
"Ugh. Party, party, party. Ever since this stupid month started it's been nothing but partying and good cheer and Christmas cookies…"
"Kell."
"With the caroling and the roasted beast and the flim flanglers…"
"Kell."
"And the zoop zooplers…!"
"Kell!"
"And the clang clangers!"
"Kell!"
"And the noise, NOISE, NOISE!"
"KELL!"
"What?!"
"Use real words." Garth told him step-bys-step. Kell glared.
"What is that?" He asked, motioning to the little plant in Garth's hands. Garth raised it up into the light.
"This? It's for the Mistletoe Game." Garth explained.
"Mistletoe Game?"
"You go around holding it over people and seeing how many people you can kiss. I've got about 12." Garth motioned to the lipstick covering his face.
"I don't think your girlfriend would like that." Kell said.
"Are you kidding it was her idea!" Garth told him.
"And I thought Saturn Girl was the only one of you who had common sense about this whole Christmas crap."
"When they cloned you, they forgot to put in the whole Christmas spirit and childhood wonder, didn't they?" Garth asked.
"I guess."
"You should be careful, Kell. This is the time of year when bad things happen to people who don't have Christmas spirit." Garth warned.
"Oh so all of a sudden people have to have the spirit or what, they get fitted for a pair of cement shoes or something?" Kell mockingly asked.
"The holidays are a time of year when people decide to put aside their differences and celebrate something they all believe in. You don't believe in anything, then that's just sad." Garth lectured
"Touching. Now go." Kell pointed to the door.
"Don't I get a Christmas kiss?" Garth joked, holding the mistletoe over Kell's head.
"OUT!"
And like that Garth got thrown out in a puff of super-breath.
"SuperScrooge-X." Garth muttered before going off to join the party.
…
8:30
KNOCK-KNOCK.
"Not again." Kell moaned. "What?!"
"Kell? It's me."
The doors opened. It was Clark.
"What do you want?" Kell groaned.
"I guess the Christmas bug didn't bite you, huh?" Clark joked.
"I'm immune to Christmas bugs." Kell replied.
"No one's immune to Christmas, Kell." Clark told him.
"I am." Kell muttered. Clark sighed, hoping to bring in some Christmas cheer.
"Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm going back to my time for Christmas dinner."
"Goodie for you."
"Ma and Pa offered you an invitation." Clark told him.
"Really?" Kell's eyes twinkled. "And I, I bet you're going to have roast turkey, huh?"
"Yep."
"With stuffing, and mashed potatoes, with gravy and cranberry sauce."
"Uh-huh."
"Oh, and you'll probably have corn bread too. And candied yams."
"Maybe."
"And for dessert there'll probably be pumpkin and apple pie."
"You could have both if you want."
"And then, after dinner, we'd exchange gifts. Right?"
"Right." Clark finally said.
"NO THANKS!" Kell screamed, and kicked Clark out just like Garth. Clark got up, fixed his cape, and looked at the door to his clone's room with melancholy and x-ray vision in his eyes.
"Okay, so I'll just put your present under the tree, then." Clark said before waving.
"Hah bumbug!" Kell yelled, and went back to sleep.
…
9:00
He finally nodded off, until he felt a finger poking at him.
"Nyah." He said in his sleep.
"Kell." The voice said.
Kell squinted his eyes. He heard the sound of chains rattling. That woke him up.
"Oh for the love of…" Kell sat up. He stopped halfway.
He had to be dreaming. He couldn't be seeing this. It was a ghostly figure, floating off the floor, translucent and green
"Boo."
Kell shot up out of bed when he saw the intruder.
"Imperiex!"
"Surprised to see me?" The apparition of his sworn enemy asked.
"What are you doing here?! This is impossible. You're-"
"Dead? Yes, it seems I am. No thanks to the Coluan bastard." He mumbled.
"What? You've come back to haunt me now?!" Kell screamed.
"Don't flatter yourself." Imperiex told him. "I'm here to give you a message."
"Oh please." Kell told him, his hands glowing. "You think I'll believe any of your tripe?"
"I honestly don't care what you think. I have five other gigs tonight." Imperiex told him.
"What?"
"They've got me doing hauntings. It's either this or getting locked in a room with, *shudders*, girl scouts." That was hell for him.
"Someone actually gave you a break?" Kell raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah yeah, life's full of surprises. Now shut up and listen. You're going to get visited again, by three other ghosts. They're going to teach you the error of your ways."
"What errors?" Kell asked with a haughty voice.
"Exactly. You either learn to like Christmas…"
"Or?"
"I'll save you a seat at the next union meeting."
"Oh this is stupid." Kell complained. "I'm going back to sleep, and then I'm going to talk to Timber Wolf about whatever the hell he put in that quiche I ate."
"Would you shut up for five seconds?! I'm trying to he-"
KZZT!
He was encased in crystal.
"Finally." Kell sighed. I can-
"Ghost, remember?" Imperiex phased right through.
"Now look, I don't like you and you don't like me. But someone up there feels sorry for you, so take this chance when you can and be grateful!"
"Go suck mistletoe." Kell objectively told him, and Imperiex was gone.
"I hate Christmas." Kell muttered as he dozed back to sleep.