Trailer Park Boys Fanfiction
Note: I do not own Trailer Park Boys nor any of the characters in this fanfiction. All characters and show from the creators, not myself. This is a possible alternate take on the last episode of Season 5's "The Shit Blizzard."I am just a fan that thought about a possible alternate loop that could have happened. Reviews and thoughts extremely welcome! There needs to be more Trailer Park Boys fanfiction. After all, it's Ed Edd n Eddy for adults, and who doesn't love Ed Edd n Eddy.
A Shit Blizzard Goes Through It
Chapter 1: Damn I Pissed Myself
"Bubs…AGHHG…You gotta look after Trinity for me bud."
"Ricky, don't say things like that. You're gonna be fine, don't talk like…"
"Make sure when she gets the car she checks the transmission fluid."
"You can check it, you're gonna be fine."
[Bullets firing all over the place, Glass shattering, trailers being banged up]
"Damn I pissed myself."
"Ricky?...AAAHHHH." Bubbles grew wide-eyed, now more worried and terrified beyond rational thought.
Julian and Randy were firing protection shots behind Lahey's vehicle against Cyrus and the Flappy Bird Twins.
"COVER ME BOY!"
Jim Lahey stammered over, still sucking down his drink to Ricky and Bubbles. The instigating drunk, behind the gears of the immense gun fight taking place was motivated enough by Julian's "Officer Lahey" speech to help Ricky in a major crisis.
Ricky was suffering a heart attack in the middle of an all-out gunfight. He blacked out.
"How long has he been out Bubbles?"
"OOHH about six minutes Mr. Lahey!"
"That's too long Bubbles. No brain could stand without oxygen that long…If I did revive him Bubbles, he'd just be a vegetable."
"But Mr. Lahey, I think probably his brain, uses way less oxygen than a normal brain. Maybe he's got, like, a lot more time than a normal person. Can't you just try, he's my best friend, come on!"
"I'll give it a try."
"Just do what you do."
"Thousand-one [push], thousand-two[push]."
[Gunshots blazing about from the Flappy Birds and Randy, Cyrus shouting RELOAD! RELOEAD!]
"Thousand-one [push]."
"Come on Ricky!"
" Thousand-two[push]."
"Thousand-three [push], thousand-four[push]."
"Come on Ricky. PLEASE!"
"Thousand-five [push], thousand-six[push]."
"Bubbles, how's he doin?"
"Not Good Julian, he passed out like seven minutes ago and Lahey's still doing CPR!"
"Have him keep going, he'll wake up!"
"Thousand-thirteen [push], thousand-fourteen[push]."
Bubbles started quivering, "Ricky, you better not go, you got me and Julian to think about!"
"Thousand-twenty-one [push], thousand-twenty-two[push]."
"You got Sunnyvale and the guys from Jail who all love you!"
"Thousand-twenty-one [push], thousand-twenty-two[push]."
"You got Lucy and Sarah!"
"Thousand-twenty-nine [push], thousand-thirty[push]."
"You got Trinity to LOVE Ricky, you're her father and she needs you. Please don't go!"
Jim Lahey repeated the CPR steps for over eight minutes. Officer Ted Johnson came back from whatever the hell he was doing, saw Jim performing CPR on Ricky, and immediately called a bus over to the scene.
"PLEASE!"
Six more minutes pass. Ricky has been out for over fifteen minutes. Gunshots were still going, but the hash war was finally dying down. Heavy Metal Dickhead and the Twins were now trying to high-tail it out of Sunnyvale. The cops eventually swarmed the area. Cyrus and the Flappy Birds were detained, along with Julian. They were taken, but Julian was struggling as hard as he could against the cops to see Ricky. The crowd of Bubbles, Mr. Lahey, Ted Johnson and George Green with several other police officers was growing.
Julian struggled even further before he rampaged off the cops holding him. "Fuck off guys, come on! Let me see if he's okay!" Julian was sickly worried. He rushed over the Bubbles and Mr. Lahey.
"Jim, why hasn't he woken up yet?"
"Julian, I'm doing the best I can here. I've been giving Ricky over twenty minutes of CPR, piss drunk in the middle of a fucking gun fight, I'm trying."
Bubbles was beginning to tear up now." Julian,… I think he's gone."