The Saddest Story
Obsessive.
In her mind she knew she was, but right there and now she felt love. Hiding behind the tall bookcase, she stared at him, through the crevice between 'Dark Arts Through the Ages' and 'The Four Founders of Hogwarts.'
He was concentrating intently on his parchment laid down on the table, brow furrowing and quill in hand, furiously scribbling down. Momentarily his eyes wavered around the room, only to return back onto the parchment.
Seeing his hair messily obscuring his lovely features; pointed nose, stormy-grey eyes, a smile so cheeky graced her face. Oh how she wished that this were only an infatuation that in the morning she'd realise that he was nothing special, nothing to worry about, just because everybody saw the slimy Slytherin inside of him, but knew that appearances don't count, don't matter. She knew all along that she loved the way he could whip up such quick responses and come-backs to her humorous small-talk, creating witty banter.
She came across staring at him through Arithmancy, watching him write, watching him order Crabbe and Goyle around to his every bidding. Once he even nearly caught her, thankfully, she narrowed her eyes just in time to a glare. Draco took this as a sign to annoy the 'Golden Trio' again and made his way over to kill time and pester the living daylights out of Harry and Ron. After the incident Harry and Ron was prepared to serve Malfoy's balls on a platter to Snape, though with Hermione, she frowned at the boys use of language and cruelty to Draco.
Here, rather than sitting next to him, which would be suicidal, she'd rather stare at him from afar, not noticing her.
That was also the problem. Even though she would like him not to know. She wanted him to notice her. He never did. Never would.
Suddenly the peace of the library was disturbed, Pansy Parkinson stalked over from the wide double doors to the table Draco was sitting at and plopped herself onto his lap, disrupting him from his work.
Hermione knew what was about to come, but she couldn't stop watching Draco. Pansy kissed Draco; part of Hermione' s heart broke. He was rigid for a moment before he started kissing Pansy back.
Too much horror to bear Hermione painfully looked away. She could not feel the anger nor jealousy for Pansy there, yet she could sense regret and sadness fill that space.
Regret that she had not encouraged kindness directed towards him so that they could at least have a chance to be friends, and the sadness because of the emptiness that she thought that only he could seal.
Turning away from the wretched scene she fooled herself into thinking that one day, maybe one day, he would love her in no comparison to any other person.
He had been dating Pansy for over 4 months now, she thought that maybe, if lucky enough that Pansy would be some sort of fast one-day fling, except that was not the case. There had even been rumours that they have been arranged to marry each other when they got out of Hogwarts.
Hermione just sat in front of the fire that night, staring into the flickering embers. Contemplating everything that had happened in the library, again and again. It wasn't the first time Draco and Pansy kissed in a public place. You would be glad that they weren't doing something more.
With a pained heart and tired eyes, she walked up the stairs and disappeared into the Girl's Dormitory.
Waking up the next day, sunlight streaming through her bed hangings, warm yet cold at the same time, she popped her bushy head out and looked around the deserted Dormitory.
Thank god she would be at least able to do something in the morning by herself at peace. 'Don't think about him. Don't think about him, Hermione.' But to think about him so often in a day, it was so hard not to at that moment anyway.
Standing under the steamy shower she slowly drifted off into fantasy where Draco confessed his love to her and they got married and had children. Sometimes she would make the story interesting and put an interesting plot line.
When the bell rang, it was a signal for her to quickly hurry. With a quick spell she dried her hair and dressed with a flourish.
Dashing down to the portrait shortcut to the dungeons for Potions, she rifled through her bag for a hair tie. The one that she had treasured all those years, she remembered Christmas, Draco for some reason had received a hair tie from one of his relatives, along with a box filled with make-up. His relatives must have mistakened for a girl. Without a second thought he threw the hair tie on the ground while walking out of the hall with his two goons following him.
Tying her hair up in a tight bun, a few stray and stubborn strands popping out, causing her bun to be an extremely messy one.
Arriving at the classroom, heavily breathing, she could taste blood in her mouth. "Sorry I'm late Professor—"
"There's no excuse Miss Granger, sit down, and take a seat next to Parkinson or Zabini." Snape drawled waving his finger in the general direction of the two.
Zabini leaned back into his chair when Hermione plopped beside him. "Hey Granger."
"Zabini," she said, acknowledging him with a nod.
"So, pissed off about Snape?" he asked truly interested, "Or about sitting next to me."
She coughed and then answered, "Maybe both, maybe one." She shrugged smiling.
"Shrewd little bookworm." He gave her an awkward smirk.
"You two at the back," Snape snapped looking directly at them, "Stop nattering and get on with your work."
Turning back to the rest of the class, "Now…we'll be using the ingredients on the board to create the Pomidine Potion." With a wave of his wand, the ingredients appeared on the blackboard, "Now, who can tell me what the properties of this potion is?" Hermione's hand shot straight up, but as usual Snape ignored her, "Anyone? Anyone at all?"
Hermione hand waved in the air frantically, her body stretching upwards, straining to be picked. "No one? Well—shame on you all." Hermione's hand dropped down in disappointment. "The properties of this potion is—well since all of you are well aware that you didn't read onto pages 234-300, I'll let you all test it." Snape finished his speech with an evil grin.
The whole class started to gather all their equipment and set up their cauldrons, with flickering flames underneath them.
"Zabini, have you gathered the dandelion stalks?"
"Yes."
"Newt's eyes?"
"Yes."
"Pixie Dust?"
"Uhh—yeah."
"The—"
"Granger, basically we have everything…can we get on to the potion-making now?"
"Sure…"
Hermione dropped all the ingredients required into the bubbling pot and started to stir the potion 20 times clockwise and 50 times couter-clockwise.
Well into the lesson, Snape was scribbling on some parchment on the front of his desk. For about forty minutes, most of the class had finished their potion. Neville and partner had to do it twice because he blew up the first batch.
"Everyone stop and bottle up your potions and bring them out with your partner to the front of the room." Snape instructed them.
Lining up, Snape grabbed the potions from the Gryffindor's hands making disgusting faces. When it was the Slytherin's turn he just gave them a solemn nod and the Slytherins handed over the potion.
"Mr. Malfoy, come over here and test this abomination that Miss Granger has made." Snape said, placing the bottle of potion into Draco's outstretched hands. Draco made a revolted face and drank it in one gulp, while looking Hermione in the eye. She inwardly cringed.
"You will soon see the effects of the potion…"
Right enough, Draco suddenly turned into a little boy, he looked around, scared out of his wits, knowing nobody. He saw the friendly face of Hermione and ran up to her, grasping the edge of her skirt. He looked around the age of five.
"Where am I? Where's Mother and Father?" he asked worriedly, his grey eyes widening.
Pansy was whispering across to Draco, "Draco! What are you doing? That's a mudblood you're talking to!" All the Slytherins around her agreed, while most of the Gryffindors were holding Ron and Harry back, trying to calm them down saying that Pansy was a 'girl,' a 'slutty girl' but a girl nonetheless.
Snape discontented pushed a glass vial of Draco and Goyle's potion into her hands and instructed her to drink it down.
Looking into Draco's eyes she could tell he was bewildered at what was happening. With a little smile she drank it down.
She as well drank the potion, turning into her small self. "Who are you?" she questioned Draco bossily.
"Draco, Draco Malfoy. Who are you?" he retorted.
Her eyes started to sparkle, "I remember you! You're the boy I met in the park! With the funny-looking coat."
"It's a robe and—oh, you're the nice girl with the blue dress."
Hermione blushed, "Do you remember what happened?"
Draco, not being able to blush much had tinged cheeks. Nodding his head he replied, "We kissed."
The whole class, watching the two toddlers conversation, was baffled and horrified. The two children held hands, blushing.
"You were my first kiss." He said sweetly, staring at his feet.
"So were you." She agreed, doing the same.
The boys whistled while the girls sighed. It was sweet, in a way.
Just then, something weird happened, Hermione jumped back and sparks started flying around her, converting her back to her normal teen-self. The potion must have had some sort of defect in it.
Draco was wide-eyed and looked like he was about to cry. Without a word, glitter surrounded him and changed him in to an older version of himself. He looked quite like his father, Lucius. The older-looking Draco took Hermione's hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing on it. He snaked his arm around Hermione's waist and held her close to him.
Pansy started shrieking and made many rude comments about Hermione. Ron, thankfully, pounced on her silencing her, covering her mouth with his hand and glaring menacingly at her.
Harry was the one that was trying to grab Hermione from Draco's embrace. Draco stared down into Hermione's eyes. She was looking into his grey eyes, seeing the emotion, she never knew was there, seeing something she wanted for years, but was sure to never happen.
Draco bent his head down, closing his eyes and kissed her lips softly. He had tears streaming down his face in happiness.
Pansy was writhing on the ground in silent scream, because of Ron's hand. Suddenly, she bit down onto it and Ron let go. A piercing scream filled the potion room, snapping Snape out of his daze and bewilderment. "Stop! Stop!" He pulled the two apart and a moment later, the older-version of Draco disappeared to form the normal one.
"Draco! How could you kiss that mudblood?" Pansy screamed at him, pointing accusingly at Hermione.
Hermione stood there flabbergasted. What just happened was the only moment she would remember throughout her old life. She could not have him and she knew that. No one noticed that she was crying silently, backing slowly towards the door, ready to run out any moment.
Suddenly, Draco's accusing glare was turned on her. She could do nothing but look away and start running. Pushing all the people out of her way she made her way to the door and slammed it shut, placing a ten-minute locking charm on it. It gave her enough time to run far away.
Inside the room, everyone was was baffled searching Snape for answers. Snape was unfortunately muttering to himself, the students could only catch fragments of what he was saying. "What was that? —The potion was to show the person's weakness. —Draco and his worst enemy—impossible. —Does that mean…" Snape shook his head, waving his wand over the whole classroom, clearing all the potions away.
A gathering crowd was closing in on a flustered Draco, "What—happened?" he asked through gritted teeth.
Goyle was the one that answered him, "Uhh—Draco you told everyone that you kissed Hermione when you were five, then you turned into your father and kissed her."
"He means that you turned into your older self and kissed that mudblood," Pansy translated, "I thought you said I was your first kiss. You cheating bastard."
Draco rolled his eyes, his cheeks tinged pink. "I was five. That didn't count. Then what happened?"
Blaise answered him this time, "Surprisingly, the mublood didn't seem to be arguing much in your embrace. Seems to me, she kissed you back."
Draco looked questioningly at him, crossing his arms. "Where's the little mudblood now?"
"Ran out the door I expect, the Gryffindors are trying to open the door, but seems like the mudblood didn't want anyone to follow her." Blaise countered.
"Smart." Draco muttered under his breath.
On the other side of the room, Harry was looking over his Marauder's Map trying to spot where Hermione was. It seemed like she had disappeared that even the map couldn't spot her.
In the open space of the Hogwart's Grounds, Hermione was panting, leaning against a tree, gasping for breath and crying, beating her hands on the side of tree. She could never face her friends, much less the rest of the school. She was worrying so much that the properties of the potion had very much slipped her mind.
Footsteps approaching could be heard, though no voices shouting for her. It certainly had passed ten-minutes, Harry and Ron were probably trying to find her, wanting to question her. Except, she couldn't face them, not after what she had not done, which was break away from Draco.
She wiped stray tears onto her sleeve and looked around, making sure that no one was there. Suddenly a figure near leaped onto her, knocking her to the ground, pressing her onto the dry leaves scattering the ground.
She could hear heavy breathing above her, wisps of her hair was coming loose from her hair tie. Without a warning, her hair tie burst and hit the person in the eye.
Cursing, the person picked up the hair tie without even trying to lift his or her weight off of Hermione.
"This is my hair tie," the person commented. At that moment, Hermione knew who it was, and dropped her head in the direction of the ground, trying to cover her red eyes. "You had it all along?" said Draco, with a hint of amusement.
"Yes," she spat bitterly.
"Your mudblood filth has ruined it, you can have it," He threw it beside her face. He was now sitting on Hermione's back enabling him to move about and not Hermione.
She knew he would never blame himself for kissing her. She knew that somehow he would twist it so that he was the victim to the evil and lustful mudblood.
Getting up he spat at the ground, close enough to Hermione's face. Hermione got up slowly, her hands and legs trembling.
Standing face to face with him, she asked, "You hate me that much, don't you, Malfoy?" Without letting him answer she continued, "Is that all you think for me?"
"Wha—" Malfoy stared at her blankly.
"Am I just a filthy, unworthy, ugly mudblood to you? Does my name and heritage disgust you so much that you want to be as far away from me as possible?" Hermione was ever moving closer to him. Draco hadn't budged at all, for he was unable to move out of shock.
"Does my prescence make you want to back away and scrub yourself till your skin turns a bright shade of red, does it make you want to kill me whenever I insult you or say your name, Malfoy?"
She was staring up at him, her brown eyes looking up at his steel-grey ones. Draco slowly narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Her eyes were full of hope and at the same time despair, and Draco was so close to getting lost in them. Luckily he was able to look her in the eye without breaking any contact.
He let out a single word, so cold and unfeeling, "Yes."
Hermione's eyes had widened. She stepped backwards and flashed him an awkward-sad smile. "Just making sure, Mr. High-and-Mighty." She turned the other way, towards Hogwarts. Brushing down her robes, she quickly disappeared up the stone steps towards the Great Hall.
Draco stood there, replaying what had just happened. Just making sure, she said. He knew better than that. From years of watching people's emotions, he knew that she wasn't playing with him. She was serious.
What had been there instead of assumed smugness and pride was sorrow and defeat. Somehow he knew she wanted a different answer. She wanted him to reply no.
He shook his head and turned the other way. He blamed exhaustion and stress from the potion that caused these thoughts sprouting from inside his head.
'I must be so tired,' he thought, as he climbed up the stone steps towards the looming castle.
Hermione was sitting on her windowsill, hunched and holding her knees, looking over the Quidditch pitch, where Harry and Ron were practicing with the rest of the Gryffindor team.
One would think that she would be relieved that she finally knew the truth about how he truly felt about her. She never thought that one word could stir up so much pain in her, but it did.
Turning her head, she looked around her Dormitory; she hadn't been keeping it very clean. Her schoolbooks were scattered all over her desk to her bed, and clothes lay strewn all over the floor.
A knock suddenly sounded the cavernous room, Hermione wiped away the single tear that stained her face, got up and opened the door, to find Harry and Ron in their Quidditch gear, with worried looks on their faces.
Putting a strained smile on her face she asked them, "How did you get up here? There are sliding stairs!"
"Hermione…" Ron said, putting an arm on her shoulder, "You know why we're here. We're worried about you."
"Yea," Harry agreed, "After you just ran off from Potion's class. We couldn't even find you on the Marauder's Map. Where were you?"
Closing the door behind them she said quietly, "I was just strolling the Hogwart Grounds. Nothing special. We'd better get down for Dinner. People will be wondering where the 'Golden Trio' has got to, and your Fan Club will probably send me hate mail again, think I have some sort of secret relationship with their beloved Harry Potter."
She headed towards the door, only to find Harry blocking the doorway. "Come on Harry, I'm hungry and Ron's hungry. Move out of the way." She tried pushing Harry away from the door, but he wouldn't budge.
"We're just worried about you," Harry sighed. "Just promise us, if you need anything at all, you can come to us…"
"Yea," Ron said nodding, "Anything at all."
"Sure," she said smiling, "Come on lets go eat now. I know everyone's starving, I could hear Ron's stomach grumbling through this whole ordeal."
Making their way to the Great Hall, Harry and Ron went over to the Gryffindor table first sitting next to Ginny, Seamus and Dean. Leaving Hermione to walk quite slowly across the Great Hall.
She couldn't help glancing over to the Slytherin table, only to find Draco very occupied, sucking face with Pansy Parkinson. She quickly looked away and sat down next to a very intent Lavender Brown, who was talking to Parvati re-enacting the scene her-way, meaning way more dramatic than it really was.
Hermione tuned out all conversations around her and concentrated on pushing around all the food that was on her plate. The mash potatoes were spread up against her vegetables and her beef. It looked almost too revolting; she dropped her fork and got up, slung her jacket onto her back and walked out of the Hall, not noticing that she was creating a scene.
Draco couldn't help but resurface for air and look at whoever was creating the ruckus. 'Stupid mudblood.' He thought shaking his head. He went on kissing Pansy, but couldn't get the sad and lonely look that had appeared on Hermione's face just a moment ago.
He pushed Pansy away and slid off the bench and walked in the opposite direction out of the Great Hall, towards the painting of the old Headmaster, Professor Dippet, leading him up to the Seventh Floor of the Gryffindor Common Room. He knew where Hermione was heading and wanted to cut her off.
He knew well, for she was hurriedly climbing up the staircase while he leant on the complaining Fat Lady.
She arrived in front of him, looking bewildered, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"What? Is a student not allowed to roam around Hogwarts?" He asked her coldly, "What has the world come to?"
"What do you want Malfoy?" She said, crossing her arms.
"What is wrong with me?" He snapped holding both her shoulders and shaking her. "Why can't I get your filthy face out of my head?"
When he stopped shaking her, she angrily asked, "This is what you came all up here to ask me, Malfoy? I thought you had style."
"I do my filthy mudblood." Draco drawled.
"Push off."
"Tell me what have you done to me?" He insisted.
"Nothing! I haven't done anything to you, okay? Can you please go away?" She pleaded, her face contorted with fear. "Leave me alone."
"Not till I get a straight answer," He persisted, "What the hell did you do to me, Granger?" Grasping tightly onto her shoulders she whimpered in pain.
"Get off Malfoy," She mumbled, "You're hurting me."
"I'll do more than just hurt you if you don't give me an answer." He snapped.
"Fine! You want to know SO badly right?"
"Yes," He said solemnly.
"I love you, and you don't know how to handle it, and maybe," she paused, "You love me too."
He looked at her as if she were crazy, "Me, love you?" he lifted up an eyebrow, "You're more deluded than I thought. Goodbye Granger." He turned away, walking quickly down the Hall, as if afraid that the mudblood's words were true, as if that he stayed any longer that he would love her.
Before he disappeared round the corner she shouted, "Ponder about it Malfoy, the answer will come to you." He speeded up and disappeared behind the painting heading towards the dungeons and the Slytherin Common Room.
Entering the damp and cold dungeon, he found Pansy waiting for him sitting in an armchair by the flaring fire.
"I'm not in the mood tonight Pansy, maybe some other time." He said, running his fingers through his hair.
"You're never in the mood anymore," She said angrily, "Not since that Potion's class. What is with you these days? Even before that potion raddled your brain, you were acting so different towards me."
"I don't need to take this from you tonight, Pansy," He commented, pushing his room door open and closing it shut. He leaned against the door and shut his eyes for a moment. Tiredly, he wandered over to the bed and flopped down and soon enough, he fell asleep, thinking about a certain bushy-haired girl.
In the morning Draco woke up even more confused than the day before. He groggily walked around his room gathering up the needed books and equipment for the day.
Heading out the Slytherin Common Room, he acknowledged some passer-by Slytherins on the way to the Great Hall.
Nearing the Hall, he could smell the strong whiff of breakfast. He was hungry, not eating much the night before. With his robes billowing he entered the Hall, and stalked over to his side of the bench and started to pour himself a cup of Pumpkin Juice and fill his plate with delicious food.
That was before the very girl that haunted his dreams last night, strolled right in front of him, passing the Slytherin table, a little too closely.
"Watch it mudblood," He commented snidely. He watched Harry and Ron try and punch him in the face and her turn her head and glance into his eyes while saying, "Leave him alone guys, he's not worth it."
Ouch, that had stung.
After breakfast, before another day of Potion's lesson Draco was able to steal a moment to talk to her about last night.
She said without emotion, "Leave me alone Malfoy."
When he wouldn't take that for answer she continued, "Look, I was attracted to you, nothing more."
"You're lying. I can see it," he said his voice getting a tad bit desperate.
"Look into my eyes and tell me I'm lying, Malfoy," she gave him an awkward smile, "Think of it nothing more than physical attraction Malfoy, that's all you'll ever be good for, isn't it? For show, like Pansy is."
And like that she left towards the dungeons, leaving Draco standing there, unable to comprehend what she had just been saying. No smug smirk on his face.
Throughout the whole Potion's class, he couldn't concentrate on his work. He kept staring at Hermione, waiting for her to turn around from her work with Zabini and at least give him a glare, but that was not so.
Maybe she really had given up on loving him. Had he finally admitted to himself that he liked a mudblood? No. He couldn't give people the satisfaction, but what did those people matter when he could be happy?
He was truly mystified.
After a grueling day of work and lessons, Draco decided to have a night fly around Hogwarts to clear his mind. Grabbing a thick robe and his Nimbus 2001, he quickly departed to the Astronomy Tower, where he kicked off the ground and sailed high up into the clouds, barely skimming it with his toes.
That night was so peaceful, he could see for miles away, and he could actually feel his troubles starting to ebb slowly away. Looking down he could see Hagrid's Hut, and smoke billowing out of the stone chimney. Looking farther towards Hogwarts he could see students practicing on the Quidditch field still and some students up in the stands milling about. Looked like the Ravenclaw team was practicing tonight.
Weirdly, there was someone up in the Gryffindor stands, flying closer and squinting he could make out that it was a girl. Swerving closer towards the figure he watched as the person become more familiar to him.
Hermione.
Landing quietly at the top of the stands he gently crept up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I'll be getting back soon Harry, don't worry, you and Ron go to the Common Room first." She said, not looking up from her books and parchment, "Go on! No need to wait for me!"
Draco was a little annoyed that she thought he was Potter and Weasley. He cleared his throat to get her attention. For a moment she looked up from her book, glancing his way, before turning back.
"Leave me alone Malfoy, I told you." She said uninterested.
"I know you still care, Granger."
"And what difference will it make if I still do?" She asked slamming her book down on the bench, "What? Are you going to mock me? Laugh and tease me about it with your friends?"
"No!" He said quickly, "I don't do—"
"Fat chance Malfoy! I know you, I've known you for the past six years and you haven't given a rat's arse about what I feel, why should you care now?"
He paused for a moment thinking, "Maybe because I don't hate you anymore." She tapped her foot, waiting for a better answer. "And maybe I could like you…"
Firmly she said, "Then tell me."
Draco blinked, ready for her question.
"That you love me."
Silence was followed this, the two staring at each other, one hoping for the best, the other one contemplating over in his head.
Without a sound she picked up her book and parchment and walked towards the stairs, heading down to the field.
She was about to descend the stairs when a hand strongly gripped her shoulder. She was swiftly revolved on her feet, before she could fully comprehend what was happening, Draco had pressed his lips firmly on hers.
It was so sudden, so sweet.
She felt so alive that night. The wind whistled through the trees, no one noticed the two, everyone doing their own thing.
"I don't need anything Hermione. I realised, all those fights and glares and teasing, was just a way of getting your attention, and I didn't realise it until too late," Draco said in one breath, pausing momentarily he whispered in her ear, "I love you Hermione, I truly love you."
Hermione was stunned, leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, holding on to him and crying, tears of mixed emotions staining her face, rolling down and wetting his robe.
"I love you so much Draco," she said, lowering her voice, "it hurts."
By Nathalie (Oh-So-Retro)
The End