Disclaimer: I own nothing (sniff)
AN: Next in the series of songfics me and DementedViper are writing from putting our playlists on random, (check her version out as well). This is Kaci Brown - I Will Learn To Love again, from my playlist.
AN2: I seem to be writing alot of things for these challenges that i never thought i would do, lol.
Warnings: Slash, ArthurxMerlin, past MerlinxWill.
Enjoy :)
Merlin's eyes sting with every tear that falls as he lets the pain wash over him, lets the grief he has been holding in since they left Ealdor surface. His whole body trembled with the force of his sobs, his frame curling in on itself as he lays on his bed. His heart feels like it could break in his chest but he knows he had to let the pain out, that he can't let it consume him. Today he had had a close call, lost a friend and a past lover, but Merlin knows he has to carry on somehow.
And though I cry it wont be long
Till I regain the strength to know I can go on
Merlin cries all through the night, his eyes dry by morning for the simple fact that he can't cry any longer. He goes to Arthur as usual that morning, mind focussing on the tasks he knows he must do, is heart still trapped with the memories of Ealdor. Merlin and Arthur simply stare are each other for what seems like an eternity, Merlin hovering at the door like this is his first day and not one of the hundredth. Somehow the door is closed and Arthur is there, right there, encasing Merlin in his arms, hands firm as they stroke his arms and back. Merlin sighs into the embrace, believing for the first time yet that he might find the strength he needs, right here.
I will find my way through the heart break
I will not give up on love
I believe
As much as Merlin wants to give up, Arthur reminds him that he can't. As much as he wants to close his heart and protect himself from feeling that pain again, Arthur reminds him that he doesn't need to. Arthur's hands linger a few seconds longer, his smile shines at Merlin a few times more. Merlin can feel it grown in his chest and his heart, hear it in Arthur's voice, that things are changing.
I will learn to love again I will learn to trust
Once this heart can start to mend
I will learn to
Learn to love again
It scares him sometimes, the thought of giving himself over to Arthur, but oh how he wants to. He wants to trust Arthur when he says that he isn't going to hurt him, when he promises Merlin that nothing in the world is ever going to come between them. Merlin knows that someday he will be able to give Arthur his heart in the way that he wants, that somehow Arthur is going to fix him. The memory of Will is always just on the corner of his mind and sometimes at night small tears will come. Arthur will be there then, his words closing the hole in his heart and his hands caressing life back into him.
All of these tears time will dry them I will survive them
And make it through into another day
One day Merlin will be able to love Arthur in the way that he should and Arthur will wait, withal his heart he will wait, until Merlin can learn to love and be loved again.
Review? Please?