Author: Dr. Calvin / drcalvin at livejournal
Summary: How Germany appears to his leaders
Notes: Germany introspective piece. From a challenge on the kink meme, yet utterly lacking in pairings!
Concrit: Always, please!
Of orders and upheavals
To meet Germany in person can be quite intimidating. More than one newly elected Chancellor remembers his icy blue eyes, the too harsh congratulatory grip, as the only slight flaw on an otherwise celebratory evening.
Germany is such a rigid adherent of rules and bureaucracy that there has been speculation about whether Kafka ever met him in person. He often acts unconsciously rude towards those politicians that represent the states, ordering them around in a heavy-handed way that makes the Chancellor break out in cold sweat. And everyone is warned about his drill-sergeant attitude towards the non-elected staff, something that does not go well with a modern workplace.
Nor, must it be said, is Germany's yelling what a tired Chancellor needs to hear at half past six in the evening. Especially not when he is bellowing about why nobody but him ever does any work around here, until everyone gives in to the reality of the situation - that they will probably have to pull an all-nighter, again, to satisfy their nation.
There is a very internal joke about how the PR crew are named for their shortcomings, because there is nothing that generates such bad PR in politics as (accusations about) paedophilia, (words that can be interpreted as) Racism or Prussia. Just Prussia, because mere mention of him is usually a disaster waiting to happen.
Take for instance, when Germany gets drunk together with his good-for-nothing brother. The vultures at the BILD magazine have a constant betting pool about who will take the most incriminating image. In fact, most major newspaper have, at one time or another, managed to squeeze a really good quote out of him.
Good here being defined by the owner of a newspaper, who mostly concerned with headlines and sales numbers. Not at all good if one is supposed to work as a dignified, influential politician despite being called a 'crazy-mean rotten potato' by one's own country, before he spills beer on the Turkish ambassador. All the while, his brother laughs uproariously about the mess and then spreads an embellished version of the story to all his friends.
The worst media scandal directly involving Germany, the legend against which all others are compared, is that one photo from 1996. It is said that mentions of it can cause an entire generation of politicians to shut up and shuffle away in shame.
France was visiting and it ended with all three (two-and-a-half?) nations arrested for public nudity and disorderly conduct after they were seen urinating on top of the Brandenburg Gate. It is a warning spread through the parliament since then; keep a careful eye on the nation, for his own good. And for god's sake, don't let East spike the beer!
What nobody is ever openly warned about, however, but always tries to subtly impress on their successors is how very (frighteningly) easy it is to order Germany to action, once he has bent enough to give someone the authority to order him at all.
Sometimes, it can take a while for a Chancellor or member of the parliament to even dare to try, but once they do...
A few don't realize that his terse answers mean that their request will be done, immediately. They usually keep on fearing him until they slip out of government work, forgotten and unneeded.
Most see and suspect, but feel constrained by their peers from exploiting this. So after a while, they merely see their nation as a disciplined, solid man - especially when compared to such flighty personifications as the frequent visitor Italy or the more rare, but oh-so-memorable, Poland.
There are those whose eyes see clearer and they nod thoughtfully, remembering words spoken in Nürnberg.
For the one who is boss of Germany, the one human he will always listen to, hints and guarded warnings are given by his or her predecessors. They must know, for it is their duty to stand guard.
Because once a man saw, realized and used.
Despite energetic attempts from his people to change him, despite heartache, long-lasting guilt and shame, there is one well-guarded truth whispered in the top reaches of the parliament.
Because the truth is that Germany will still follow his orders... wherever they may lead him.
/End