Hello!
Here is a little oneshot I have thrown together after this idea had been t´running in my head too long. I hope you enjoy it and Twilight is not mine but the plot for this oneshot is.
"How can we ever be okay again? You killed my sister, my best friend."
"Don't you think I feel responsible for her death every day even though I know I shouldn't. You know it was not my fault. A drunk driver slam into my car after I have picked her up drunk from a bar in the middle of the night. And don't think for a moment that I don't know that you want me to be responsible for her death because then you would have someone to blame."
"How dare you Edward Cullen, how the hell dare you?!"
"Stop with your shouting for one goddamn minute!"
"Yeah because I feel so sorry for you! It is my sister, my twin sister, the same sister I never again wanted to be taken away from, who have died." I hated that when we were thirteen our parents separated and took one kid each. Until my mom remarried when I was sixteen and I got to move back here.
"Yeah I know. But she was always MY best friend, and have been since we were twelve. Sure you lost your sister but I lost my best friend that I have known for longer than I have known the love of my life or longer than I have known my family. How dare you say that I killed her? I know what it is like to lose your family Bella. But you should really fucking look on the bright side because you lost one member of your family, others aren't so lucky. You might want to rethink how you treat the remaining part of said family." I had never seen him so angry, maybe I had pushed too far. His face was red from anger and his hair stood out in every direction from him pulling at it with his hands. I had also gotten a glance at his eyes. They were red and puffy both from all the alcohol he had consumed since he got home from the hospital and from all the crying he had done when he thought no one knew about it. But right now they were glassy once again. He turned his back towards me and without looking around at our family that were gathered around us he walked out the door and slammed it shut. I sunk to my knees and sobbed, when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders I let out a blood curling scream. I did not want their sympathy, I did not want their love, I did not want their condolences, I did not want them here, I wanted everything to go back to normal.
Eventually everyone had cleared the room and I was alone. I still sat on my knees crying hours after he had left, I knew I had gone too far. Before he was always the one that could handle my outlets and if they got pointed at him he took them in stride since he knew I always needed someone to blame. I always apologized after, when I had cleared my mind but this time. This time I had gone to far.
I did not really blame Edward for the death of my sister but as he said I always needed someone to blame. But I also knew that Edward feels responsible. It is not his fault, Angela was always the party girl and Edward was always there to take care of her. Sometimes it was like they were the siblings. But Angela and I have always been close. We shared everything with each other and we were best friends. Angela and I are very different people but it never stopped us from being close.
She met Edward when she started to rebel I guess you could say. Edward had just moved here when his parents and brother had died. I don't know how or why but they found each other and formed a connection. He was the one thing we never discussed. At least not until he and I became an item. Before that he was only Angela's and they shared everything. I know that he have told her far more than me about his past. But that was okay because I also knew how much Angela relied in him.
When I really think about it he may have lost more than I did because in a weird way he became more of a sibling to her than she was to me. Angela and I were still extremely close but they were always closer, they had the connection I hadn't. Both of them had been betrayed by the world. Edward had since he was a child been abused in every way possible and then his family had died. Angela had been raped by a stranger when she was twelve and therefor her rebellion. Both their pasts had turned them into friends with a connection no one understood.
My heart broke when I thought about how Edward feels responsible for her death.
Our home phone had ringed at three am last saturday, I was in a deep sleep so Edward had answered. It was Angela who had called and asked for one of us to pick her up at some bar in in Sequim. We were always her fist call since we lived in Port Angeles and not in Forks like the rest of our family including Angela. Edward had simply left a note and then left to go and pick her up. When I woke up at six the next morning and he was not home yet I got worried. It did not take me long to see all the missed calls from the police department and my father as well as Edwards adoptive parents. I had called my dad right away. He was the one who broke the news, they had not bothered to go and wake me up since they would leave from forks in one hour. Both the hospital and the police said to wait to drive up until the sun came up because both of them were still in surgery and would not need us there. To say I became a wreck was an understatement. It took me all of five minutes after I had hung up with my dad to be out the door and inside my car.
After our families had gotten to the hospital it did not take long before a doctor came and gave us his condolences. Angela had not made it she was too badly injured and too far gone when she came to the hospital. The pain that ripped through me was the worst I had ever felt. Nothing could compare to it, it was like a part of me was dead. Almost like half of my mind just vanished or was swept away. When the shock had vanished I was left with a feeling of anger. How could she give up? How could someone kill my sister? How could someone hurt Edward?
A few hours after we got the news about Angela we finally got an update on Edward. He was through surgery and was in the clear. They had repaired some major internal bleeding and reset the open fracture of his right upper arm.
I heard our family leave the house. It became quiet. My thoughts finally made sense and I needed to apologize to Edward. As I walked outside I noticed my car was still in the driveway so he had walked away. But he should and could not walk too far that gave me two choices. Either he had walked into the woods and gone to the small clearing a few hundred yards away. Or he had gone to the park were he liked to sit and read on sunny days. My gut told me to find him in the forest so that is where I was headed.
I was almost there when I heard his sobs. It broke my heart and once again I wanted to punch myself for blaming him. At the edge of the clearing I saw him sitting against a tree with his knees drawn up and his elbows resting on them. His hands was pulling at his hair and his body was shaking with sobs. I felt a few tears of my own fall down my cheeks.
Unaware of my actions I suddenly found myself sitting beside him and pulling his body towards mine. No words were spoken but his arms fell around my waist as mine wrapped around his body. His head fell to my shoulder and our legs were a tangled mess. I don't know how long we sat there but when the sky started to become dark I uttered the words "I'm sorry." His reply was that his arms became tighter around me. We sat awhile longer before he started shivering.
"We need to get back before you get sick." It took me awhile to get him to a standing position since he was reluctant to stand. After a few minutes we stood up and he supported himself on me. He had yet to utter a word to me. Somewhere between me saying I´m sorry and him hanging his arm around me for support something changed between us. It was not forgiveness and it was not hate but it was somewhere in between. Maybe an understanding of some sorts.
We did not speak for hours after we got back but we were always together. I helped him take a shower so he got clean but also so he would start to warm up. After that we made us some sandwiches and we crawled up on the couch. The house was quiet, almost too quiet.
"I'm sorry too." It was almost to soft to hear it but he said it. I felt my lips tug upwards before I could stop them. Not soon after his lips mirrored my own.
We spent the rest of the night going over memories of Angela. He told me so much of the stuff they had done together, some of the things I already knew about. Like the times they snuck into bars even though they were hardly eighteen or like sneaking in to the school over night to get drunk in the cafeteria. Other things he told me I did not know, like the times they used to sit out at the cliffs of La Push and talk about death, something they had both considered. I knew that both of them had been suicidal at some point in their life but to hear that they had actually considered it, Edward had even tried taking an overdose but Angela had known and called an ambulance right away. Or when they wanted to be stoned for a week and actually were but they chickened out of doing it during a school week so they had gone camping during spring break. I laughed until my tears ran when he told me they had been imaging a unicorn and a bear have sex right in front of them.
"Why did you guys never tell me these stories before?"
"I don't know it was always our stupid ideas and we usually never told anyone, somethings you just don't talk about though." I understood what he meant.
"I have a story you must hear. It was the summer your family spent in England at Carlisle's brothers. Well anyway Angela got asked out on a date by Mike Newton and well I was here that summer and no one knew me so Angela and I decided to make a little prank. She went to some party that the rest of the school was at and I went on her date. God it was so awkward I had to pretend to know everyone and everything that had happened at some point in Forks. Anyway it took two days before he came to our house furious. Angela was the one who answered the door so he still did not know of my existents. But when he demanded to know why no one believed him when he said that he had been on a date with Angela. Everyone had apparently laughed in his face and told him that that was impossible because she had been at the party. So that is when I came to the door and simply just asked if our date had been nice. His face got so pale before he stuttered something and then ran away. We never heard from him again but we sure had a nice laugh about it." I smiled remembering the memory of Angela, it was one of my favorite things we had ever done together.
"My god! Is that why Mike changed schools? Wait you have never done that to me right?" He looked at me pointedly.
"Unlike some I don't like to share my boyfriend but I will never tell if Angela ever wanted to share her friend." His eyes got smaller but I gave him a innocent smile.
"It freaked me the fuck out the first time I met you. Everything about you two is the same. Hair, eyes, face, body proportions and even your voices is so freakishly alike that if you don't hear you talking to each other you don't know who it is. But it was something that made me like you so much more, I still don't know what it was I can just imagine it was your personality." He leaned forward and gave me a peck on the lips.
"Yeah I know you could never say that the other one was ugly or something like that because it was like insulting yourself." We both laughed.
He pulled me up on his lap with his arms tight around me. This is the place where I always felt the most safe. "We will be fine, it will be our mission to not forget anything about her."
"Can I tell you something? I feel really bad about this." It had been torturing me since that day and I figured that now was as good time as ever to tell.
"What is it?"
"When the doctor told me it was Angela who had passed away I actually felt relived for a moment, I was so scared he would say it was you. If it had been I don't think I would have taken long to follow you." His arms tightened around me instead of realizing me and pushing me away as I had thought.
"Bella don't say that. If I were to pass away I don't want you to do anything stupid. I want you to move on and be happy but please think of me sometimes because that would be nice." His answer was really not what I needed.
"Don't joke around you are not the one with the spouse who have been suicidal and almost died a few weeks ago." Maybe I had gone to far again?
"That is why I can say this Bella. I love you so so much but I can not ever die in peace if I know you will do something stupid to follow me."
"I love you." I kissed him with all I had, I poured all of my feelings into this kiss. He responded with the same love. When we pulled away he responded with a quiet "I love you too."
So what did you think? I might make a few more chapters sometime. But I would really like to know what you thought about it.
Xoxo Angie