"Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire who has provided a spark which has grown into an inferno which destroys Panem"
The voices repeat themselves over and over in my head.
As if I couldn't do worse...
My body remains weak and fragile as I lay in the comforts of my bed, the only warm left in my life.
Today is Sunday...hunting day.
If only Gale hadn't been forced to mine today we could've met.
Looks like I'm alone again.
Forcing myself up I put on a simple black shirt and plaid jersey, tight navy jeans and my favorite boots which always pinch the tip of my toes.
I shove on my Father's hunting jacket as I usually do, the winter season days away from Spring.
Sighing, I kick my gamebag out the door and chuck it on my bag as I make my way through the thick snow.
Already I feel the water fill my eyes.
Everything in my life is gone...
Cinna, Finnick, Rue, Wiress, Mags, Boggs, Darius...Prim...
Prim... my only sister, was my only sister.
Her joyful smile, which I'll never see again, her platinum blonde hair usually done in two perfect braids which I'll never feel again.
That laughter, the show of emotions which I'll never hear again...only in my dreams.
I kick clumps of dirt out of the way as I reach the wired fence which separates District 13 from the woods.
This is just like the woods in District 12...only that got executed by the Capitol.
Walking for ten minutes or so I reach the area I would normally seek Gale.
I realize he isn't coming.
I slump down in a hallow tree and search through my bag for any useful equipment.
Few apples, goat cheese, tracker device -which I'm suppose to be wearing during hunting duty, only Sunday if free time and this
is how I choose to use it. Hunting by myself otherwise with Gale, our conversations kept hidden and personal.-
Few sticks and a long thick rope, about seven meters long and quite thick.
I stare at it, glaring every woven thread.
I take off the jacket since it's gotten hotter and lift up my jersey sleeve. Sighing heavily at the cuts that go up and across my arm, most of them recent. Some just starting to heal.
I started doing this to myself after Prim's death...
Something to relieve the stress and pain that everyone's giving me. A different shock to feel.
Self-harm isn't the only thing I do to myself...
I chuck my game bag away, still holding the rope. I begin to knot and cross it around until I have successfully made a noose.
Finnick taught me how to make them, when I asked why he shrugged and said "Sometimes when things turn crap I make these for no reason at all"
Using the straight end, I hoist it onto the tree and begin to tie it up.
Once finished, I sit back down in the tree, the tears falling again.
I curl up, my knees to my chin and talk to myself.
"It's all my fault..." I whisper, my words mixed with anger, anxiety and depression.
"Everything is my fault, I deserve this, I need this...I want this"
Grabbing a small, sharp pocket knife from the jacket I press the blade firmly against my arms, gaining goosebumps when
the electric shock hits me like a rock. I let out a sigh as I continue to do this.
Opening seven new wounds in my right arm and five on my left I throw the knife away, covering my face with both arms, letting my own blood
slide down my face and into my mouth.
"I want to die..." I scream to myself "Everything is my damn fault and I want to die!"
Hearing a vibration I glance over at my bag, still crying I crawl towards it and pull out my communication device.
I insert it into my left ear
"Katniss?"
Haymitch.
"Yes Haymitch" I say trying my hardest not to cry infront of him. Though it's not helping much.
"Where's Gale- Wait, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine...Gale's m-mining, re-remember"
"Screw Gale, tell me what's wrong and don't lie to me again"
"It's nothing, I just fell over and got scratched by a wild pig, but I took it out"
"Bullshit, Katniss what's wrong!"
"Nothing!"
"Tell me!" He scouls but I yank the piece from my ear and through it over the steep cliff.
Curling into a ball I begin to cry again.
I hate my life...I really bloody do..."
"My sisters gone! Cinna's gone, everyone is gone, my life is a misery, something that cannot be stitched up by my mothers love, nor Haymitch's"
I think of Peeta, how he's building a new bakery in the town, he hasn't seem me for three months now...
I look at the noose, swinging there motionless.
Standing, I make my way towards the tree, standing on a lowered branch as I have trouble reaching my head through the noose.
As I manage to do so, I stand on the branch and say my last goodbyes on a piece of paper out of a pen from my bag
'Dear reader,
I'm sorry you haft to see me like this.
You're Mockingjay, sick of her life, feeling suffocated from the world around her.
How she wanted was to live a normal, peaceful life.
Turned out to be none of the sought.
My life was dreadful, horrible and a complete misery.
I couldn't bare any pain no longer.
But I am happy where I am now, do not forget.
I still love everyone there is.
Everything is my fault...
Goodbye'
I chuck the note on the ground
and step off the branch.
Painful at first, the rope tightly making me unable to breath.
But I'm okay...
My vision blurs to grey and goes lighter and lighter till I'm blinded by the white.
But I'm okay...
Gale's P.O.V
I exit the mine and quickly dash to my house.
Just entering the front door I'm disturbed by my communicuff
"Hello...?" I say
"Gale!" Haymitch's deep voice shouts, making me jump
"What?"
Haymitch's voice is filled with anxiety, shock and I hear a slight sobbing noise and a scream from the backround.
"Come to One Man Hill!"
"You mean me and Katniss' hunting place"
"JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"
The static motion plays meaning he's hung up.
I stand there quiet for awhile. Angry at the fact someone is in me and Katniss' personal area, where no one is wanted besides us.
When I snap back to reality I drop my bag and sprint fast to the fence, practicly jumping over the wire
"Katniss!" I shout "Katniss!"
I see a large group of people around a tree, some still screaming, some crying.
I find Haymitch around the back talking to Romulus Thread "...Just came to find her and saw her like this..."
Eye's red with tears, he turns to me, shoves Thread out the way
"What's going on!"
I turn, Haymitch pulls me back, but not hard enough as I see the slight slender figure, hanging from a rope tied around it's neck.
My surrounded fade in pure silence as I drop to my knees, unable to breath myself.
My heart pounding in my head, the agitation kicks in.
"Katniss..." I whisper.
Mrs Everdeen, also Diana. Come's to my aid, eyes swollen red, hands shaking she gentle places a hand on my shoulder.
Tears glide gently down my olive toned cheeks
"G-Gale...!" She says as I hold Katniss' mother close to me, protecting us both.
I stand up and walk towards her lifeless body, people move, creating a path for me.
The rope is cut and just as her body drops straight to the ground I catch her in my arms, face slightly red, purple and blue, especially around the neck.
A long threaded pattern traced around her throat.
"Katniss!" I shout, holding her limply in my arms, kissing her forehead, leaning my ear trying to make out a pulse
"Katniss don't die on me!"
Haymitch comes behind me "I found her not to long ago, hard to tell when exactly she did it.
I ignore him as something catches my eye, a white object in the dead grass.
Grabbing it, I open to see a letter.
I read it out aloud, people gather and listen.
I drop the note and look into Katniss' closed eyes.
Before I know it I realize I'm singing.
"Are you, are you, coming to the tree?"
I start, my voice soft but everyone's close enough to hear
"Where they hung up a man, they say murdered three..."
People have picked up my words
"Strange, things did happen here, no stranger would it be,
if we met up at midnight, in the hanging tree"
I hear a few harmonized chirps and realize the Mockingjays and picking up the song.
"Are you, are you coming to the tree,Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree."
Everyone's singing now with me, out voices heard aloud
"Are you, are you,
coming to the tree,
where I told you to run, so we'd both be free,
strange things did happen here no stranger would it be,
if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree"
Tears are flooding my eyes as I continue to hold her, gentle and fragile just like I remember yesturday.
"Are you, are you,
coming to the tree,
wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange...things did happen here...
no stranger would it...be...
If we met up at midnight..."
I'm quite for awhile
"In the hanging tree..."
I cry loudly
"Katniss I love you so much" I say as I press my lips against hers.
I won't dream of the day I leave her side.