Hi! Anyone read my Sam/Gabe piece called 'leave the light on'? Wonder why Dean was in teh state he was? Well, this is the reason why! Please review! Prompt was 'Caught in the rain'. Title: Beauty in the rain Spoilers: Happens after Swan Song, but not many spoilers really...
Rating: K+/PG
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: Boy kissing, little bit of angsty!confused!Dean
"Oh great." Dean muttered as he started to take on the appearance of a thoroughly drowned rat. The impala was with Sam and Gabriel, and as he'd been walking over to find them, it had started to rain. "That's lovely! Can it get much worse?" With that, a flash of lightning streaked across the sky, and the rain came down harder. "Yay. It bloody can. Great. Just fucking great." He was starting to shiver and his shirt was beginning to stick to him as well. "And where's that damned angel when he's needed?" Dean shouted, glaring at the clouds.
"I'm not damned in any way – the evidence proves otherwise. But I'm behind you." Castiel replied, appearing about a foot behind the Winchester. Dean whirled around to face him. "Cas! God! First – warning! Second – Personal. Space. And third – where were you? Sam and Gabe are stuck somewhere in a warehouse or something, they have the impala and the heavens have bloody opened!" Dean snarled. He was cold, he was wet, and he was furious. And Castiel made a good outlet.
Cas tilted his head slightly, confused. "Heaven is as it was, almost. The reconstruction of Heaven in our Father's absence is almost complete. It will – "
"Figure of speech, Cas! God, you were with us for how long? And still you can't grasp basic sayings! I thought angels are meant to be these wise, intelligent beings! No wonder they gave you the job they did! You were an easy target!" Dean hollered, his fury unleashed. But then he saw the angel's face. His lower lip trembling, the minute shaking, and his widened, shining blue eyes. Remorse and regret hit Dean full force, and he sighed. "Cas, I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"
"Yes Dean, yes you did. I could see it in your soul, all that anger, frustration…I'm sorry I've upset you. I will leave now." Cas spoke out quietly, resigned, and started to turn away. Without thinking, Dean surged forwards, turned the angel back around, and hugged him.
"Yes, I'm angry and frustrated, but not at you. I'm sorry. It's just…with Sam and Gabe being out of sight, no impala, a storm raging, I just…" he let out an exasperated sigh. And then realised he was still hugging Castiel.
Dean knew that what he'd done in his life had probably doomed him to hell again, against the views of the others, but somehow he felt as if he was committing a huge sin. Not the hugging, but the longing, the want, the need inside him when he thought of the angel. His angel. Surely that broke a rule? And anyway, it was one-sided. Why would Castiel, wonderful, serious, beautiful Cas want him? An ex-torturer from Hell, the person who truly started the apocalypse, a man with a soul that was probably charred, tattered, ugly.
Castiel tensed in his arms, and looked up. His eyes were wide and a deep, mesmerising blue that Dean couldn't look away from. Except there was shock in those expressive eyes – shock and sadness. With a start, Dean realised that Castiel had heard his thoughts. Shame and anger rose again at the fact that the angel, his so-called friend, had invaded his privacy again. Dean glared and pushed Castiel away. He pushed a bit too hard though, and Castiel stumbled back, flailing his arms before his head hit the pavement with a dull thud. Pain flooded into his eyes, along with something else that Dean didn't recognise. But right now he didn't care. "You read my mind!" He bellowed, "How could you? I thought you'd promised you wouldn't, thought you'd learnt."
" I didn't mean to." Castiel replied sadly, sitting up with his elbows. There was some blood on the pavement where his head had been. "Honestly Dean, I didn't. I accidentally broke the boundary I'd set up. But…is it true? Do you care for me in that way?"
"Why?" Dean asked, wary. "Why does it matter to you?" Castiel slowly got up, dripping from the puddles he'd landed in. He reached forward and put his hand against the mark on Dean's arm. The hunter gasped and shuddered as a wave of emotion crashed into him. There was fear, pain, anger, confusion – and something warm. Gentle. Tender. Love. There was also hope, shimmering like a star. Dean remained silent, too shocked by this sudden surge overtaking his senses. As the seconds past by the hunter felt the hope dim and disappear to be replaced by a murky cloud of Sorrow. Doubt. Hurt. An overwhelming sense of rejection, tinged with resignation. Castiel closed his eyes and pulled his hand away. The rain had somehow turned into a storm, but even the multitude of raindrops hitting the angel's face weren't enough to mask the 2 extra beads in Castiel's eyes. With a shock, Dean realised that Castiel was crying. He reached out, touched the angel's face. Cas jerked away. "Don't." Was all he said, before turning away once more. There was a slight change in the air. He was about to fly. To leave, and run away again. And Dean wouldn't let him. He grabbed the angel's shoulder and before he could protest Castiel was spun around to face Dean again.
"Dean, please…" Cas whimpered, feebly trying to pull back. But Dean held firm, and placed his other hand under the angel's chin. In a move that counteracted the strong hold on Castiel's shoulder, Dean gently tilted the angel's face up. "Dean, don't. You don't have to…" The hunter placed his thumb on Castiel's lips, silencing him. He'd realised, now. He'd realised what he'd wanted from the start, and that Castiel was willing to return it, eager to return these feelings that Dean had tried to fight for so long. He looked the angel in the eye, and smiled gently.
"Yes, I do. The answer is yes." And with that, he ducked his head and kissed Cas gently. Castiel let out a strangled whimpering sound in the back of his throat as Dean's tongue entered his mouth, tasting him. He'd frozen at first, but now started to respond, albeit timidly. He shakingly placed a hand on Dean's hip, and moved his other hand through the hunter's short, drenched hair, round to the back of his neck. When air became necessary (for Dean, anyway) the hunter pulled back and rested his forehead against the other man's. He knew that this had become a moment to trump all moments, but to be honest? He really couldn't care less. He had his angel, and somewhere nearby he had his brother. There was the impala, and a road of adventure ahead. What more could he ask for. Eventually, he backed up, took one look at Castiel's expression and chuckled.
"Come on you, let's go find our brothers." He stated, as they walked down the road into a new, amazing future.
Castiel had lied.
He didn't just get freedom.
He got his peace.